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hello you. ....

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Well, it’s been a while hasn’t it now?  With so
many blogs twittering on about their every random thought, I decided it
only prudent to get in touch only when I had something worthwhile to share… And
by jingo I have got something special tucked under my beautiful pith helmet!

 

It’s a new album. And it’s taken about three years to
make.

And it is simply like nothing you have ever heard
before*.

(*Unless of course you have heard my stuff before in
which case it is similar to that).

 

REBEL
WITHOUT APPLAUSE ....

Is the new album from my
good self and Mr Tom Caruana. Not only does it feature the smash youtube hit, Cup
of Brown Joy, but also ‘Pay me a visit’

(featuring the U.S Hip hop legend Count Bass D)

plus a whole bundle of other stuff.

As a lovely thank you for letting me mail you occasionally, I am even giving away three copies to the
first three people who can tell me how I take my tea.  Otherwise, you can buy the album directly from http://teasearecords.net/shop  and choose your free badge- how splendid!

 

OH THE
HORROR!

Witness the video which has already gained minor concern from the Cats Protection league: kitten War,
my first collaboration with the astounding rathergod.com and it’s on their site for the staring at.

http://rathergood.com/kitten_war

Plus you can buy a KITTEN WAR T SHIRT. 
Watch out for more antics from us both soon…

 

 

FREE TC RECORDS AT TEASEA RECORDS....

Not content with creating our album, it seems that nice Mr Caruana has been very busy on numerous exciting projects- many of which are FREE to download on his website.

Just head to http://teasearecords.net/home.cfm and join up for wonderful music showcasing Britain’s finest hip hop talent.

 All the best to each and every one of you and do look me up if you are ever in Brighton town...

I shall have the kettle on.

Love
Elemental

Wasn't going to bother you again quite so soon, but there are so many wonderful things a foot, I would be doing you a disservice not to share them with you. Particularly the bit about the kittens and the wonderful London show! .

THE GENTLEMEN ARE ON ITUNES

Do do do look us up on itunes. The new Gentlemen's Club album has found a home there. So, if you don't already have your copy of the acclaimed album     'Gentlemen of leisure', you can find one on itunes.. Alternatively, if you still like the feel of a shiny CD in your hands, they are still for sale at everyone's favourite record emporium Rarekind:  http://www.rarekind.co.uk/search/?word=elemental&where=music

HOT KITTEN FIGHTING ACTION

If you like kittens and cake- and let's face it, who doesn't? You could do a lot worse than seeing them fly about your screen at http://www.rathergood.com/

You may have seen these delightful little fellows prancing about on your telly, but only on the website can you see Joel's flayling machine, disturbing hypnotic kittens and the most terrifying spoof of X factor I've ever seen. Coming soon- Elemental VS Rathergood in a video for our new collaboration: Kitten War. An epic tale of furry combat.

TC RECORDS: THE BEST LABEL IN THE WORLD

With an album from myself and acclaimed producer Tom Caruana now on the verge of release, I thought it only prudent to direct you to the excellent TC records website. If you haven't heard, TC records is rapidly becoming the worlds most lovely independent label and has a bundle of releases from Tom Caruana, Bombadeal, Longusto and many more. Albums are for sale at

http://www.teasearecords.net/

And you can take a listen before you buy at

http://www.myspace.com/tomcaruana

CUP OF BROWN JOY - HALF A MILLION HITS

The stunning video for the song "Cup of brown Joy" has hit half a million hits on youtube! If you haven't seen this ode to tea, produced by the wonderful Moog- then I suggest that you head over to the tube now and enjoy two and half minutes of tea based fun. Please continue to spread the word and I will personally invite everyone over for a tea party when we make a million hits. www.youtube.com/watch?v=eELH0ivexKA

http://www.peculiana.com

THE LONG HALLOWEEN

Finally, if you are even vaguely near London over Halloween,  please do direct your attention to our high flying Victorian show

Get your tickets in advance
for the Hoxton Hall
Come into my Parlour shows.

There will only  be a very limited number of tickets on the door.

A unique show which will absorb you into a Bizarre Victorian world through a selection of the most splendid and bizarre acts ever witnesssed by man or beast!

Tickets are £15/£12(conc)
Phone the ticket Hot-line on 01424 451128

For more info about Come Into My Parlour
07904300527 or 07813035514
parlourcompany@yahoo.com
www.comeintomyparlour.co.uk
facebook Come To My Parlour Group.

I shant bother you for a bit now most likely, I am off to have a baby and not sleep ever again. Still, it's been a pleasure catching up- do stay in touch.

Stay well and put the kettle on-

Professor Elemental

 Not far from where you sit, behind the wallpaper in the very room that you reside in- there is an old door. It's been painted and papered over so many times, that nobody has even seen it for years, let alone tried to open it. If they did try, they would no doubt find it locked. But. If you had a key- an old, rusted key with an elaborate handle- you be tempted to try the door. And it might open.
The way inside is lit by two rows of tiny gas lamps. In the gloom you can make out the long tunnel, which stretches deep underground. The tunnel looks as though it is made of copper and gleams as if it had been recently polished. This would be impossible of course, but then, this is an impossible situation.
Walk down the tunnel and find snaking spiral staircases that uncoil deep into the bowels of the earth. Tread carefully down and find a path which clanks underfoot for a mile or so.  Then stop. And look up.Behold!
...A world of mechanical wonders- Steam driven airships harvesting underground clouds- captained by dynamic pirate women with unparralled aim.  A world of gleaming brass cities humming with industry. Ladies with mechanical hats. Gentlemen with mechanical moustaches. Blunderbusses! Goggles! Robot apes with augmented lazer guided eyes and a dapper bow tie! This dear fellows, is the world of Steampunk. I have been led here only recently, but my goodness they know how to make you feel at home.    
To say thanks for having me to my newfound steam punk chums, I enclose this little bloglet. First, here are the words to Animal magic, that have been requested by a few peoples. It is a tragic tale with a lesson for us all. Particularly those of us who enjoy a spot of vivisection on the weekends.

Here also, is a link to some musical delights. Four old songs, dusted down and shined up with brasso for your delectation:

http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?damntxmy2rm
1) Penny Dreadful

The tale of my maiden voyage in my own flying machine, Geoffery's incompetent piloting and a disaster at the palace. Produced by the inimitable Tom Caruana.

2) Animal Magic

See below

Produced by Ido.

3) Ice Cream (orginal demo version)

Taken from the Brighton Hip Hop Festival soundtrack from a few years back, this dusty old number involves me shoving kittens in sugared cones and selling them to children. Soon to be rehashed and remixed with a shiny new video by those lovely people at rathergood.com This one is produced by Ido too.

4) Jack

Originally released several years ago as part of the Brighton All Stars collection- this is about a jack in the box. Production by Mr Tom Caruana.

So. There you have it. The unofficial 'Penny Dreadful' EP, chosen with Steampunks in mind, but also ideal for scaring small children with. Do let me know what you think.

If you have an interest in delving deeper into the world of Steampunk, check out some of my friends. They will be the ones in goggles and carrying a blunderbuss.

Or just watch the skies for pirates.
Lots of love

Professor

ANIMAL MAGIC

Words by Professor Elemental

At last! A visitor, I'm pleased you've returned

I've secrets that you need to learn

Apologies, you had to use complex directions

but I'm currently avoiding arrest and detection

expelled from the roll of clubs and societies

been told I lack sanity – even sobriety

so don't lie to me, if you need to leave

I've seen the finest men, need to heave

the contents of their guts across my hall way floor

with disgust, so before we take our tour

be sure, stay close, extra tight

Geoffery – fetch our guest a pipe!

and prepare the lab you wretched tyke!

damned monkey butler, best get this right

special guests tonight? You're completely certain?

Then step to the right as a draw back the curtain for some…

ANIMAL MAGIC

The myriad wonders of nature it's true

Can be understood fully in my home made zoo

By brain swapping with my cranial cutter

I created my apeish butler

and like any explorer forging new boundaries 

I found this astounding and took me an owl beak and wings

grafted to a tortoise shell

and now my Owltoise is doing quite well

No my Chimpangoat's not the prettiest of creatures

my Donkeypede has the silliest of features

my Batraffes do fly into doors

and my Lobsteroos don't like their claws-

but until you've heard the Badgermingo sing

or fed a tiny fish to a baby Marmoquin…

My dear sir or madam you've never lived,

it's an impressive gift- so treasure this…

ANIMAL MAGIC

Hold for a second- these locks are broken

this cage should not be open  

my Camelion might be hiding loose

oh god, so's the stripy Tigoose

And yes they're stunning and yes they're wonderous

but they're cunning and they might come for us

if there's rumpus, you're able to run I trust?

Geoffery- fetch me my blunderbuss

Oh No! Don't tell me you're using this mutiny?

I just wanted unity- what will you do to me?

Trapped. Beheaded. Oddly sickened

They attached my head to the body of a chicken

BAACLUCK! So strange so odd

In retrospect, perhaps a mistake to play god.

They say all good things come to those who wait and i'm inclined to agree. It was certainly true when I grew my own sea monkeys, as it was when I grew my own butler. I am even assured that it will be the case for my firstborn who is currently gestating in my lady's excellent womb.

It's also true in respects to me and Mr Simmonds' album: Gentlemen of leisure. It was intedend to be a colourful introduction of our Gentlemen's club and we're pretty damned proud of it. Oh yes. it's full of well whisked whimsy, sumptuous beats, a liberal sprinkling of guest stars and layered with a think dollop of cuts and scratches.
 
Next blog, i'll get back to giving away freebies- but in exchange, it would be awfully lovely of you to pop by to Rare Kind Records in Brighton and via their website : www.rarekind.co.uk/music and buy it for £6.
The album will be available on i-tunes stores very soon too...
 
By the way, a very splendid chap in Carolina might just be helping me come to do a small tour of the colonies next year. Do let me know if you fancy hooking up some elemental mayhem in your town and I'm sure we can come to some arrangement.

Hooray for waiting! Hooray for gentlemen's club! And hooray for you!

Hello pretties.
I am tired, so tired. The badgermingo escaped and started 'having relations' with my yukka plant. It took forever to get them untangled.
Still, i simply must deliver this to you waiting ears. it's a mixtape i made a couple years back with a lovely friend called digital midgets. it's epic and I hope you agree, rather intriguing- mixing my silly words with his almighty breaks and bleeping noises. Do pop by and see him. He lives in my top friends.
So: Download link: http://www.mediafire.com/?jn20jwjmyzy
let me know what you think and do check back in a few weeks as we are having another musical baby soon and i will deliver it right to this very blog.
good night and mind the fleas don't bite.
Professor Ethenolmenthol

So. here we are again. You're looking well I must say. have you been working out? I rather think you must have been, as your pectorals are looking in top shape.

Anyway, enough of the niceities- let's get down to business. Today's edition of Elemental's music club is all about nick 'daddy' maxwell on the wheels of steel. His latest mixtape features hard to find underground hip hop classics, remixes, routines and exclusives from the likes of Dr Syntax, Jon Clark, Wordsmith and Tom Caruana.

Maxwell has been djing with me for about 8 years and he was making his mark in Nott city long before that. The fellow has dj'd for everyone you can think of from Run Dmc to the Gza- and by christ he does a great job. Check out the latest chapter of the Adventures in Hip Hop series and discover why he's the Dj world's best kepy secret:

http://www.mediafire.com/?msbtxzoib2d

Do drop by and let me know what you think...

By the great lord harry- this really is a splendid state of affairs! Our humble video to the ode to tea has nearly hit 5,00000 and myself and mr moog- the lovely director has huge beaming smiles on our pretty faces.

Links to the video can be found as far afield as the L.A times website, channel 4, NME ans assorted other lovelies, all of whom also seem to like a cup o the brown stuff.

Some of you fine fellows also said that you might rather like the words- so they are printed below for your delictation and delight. If you need a copy of the song, then drop me a line at paulalborough@yahoo.co.uk and I'll be more than happy to furnish you with one. I'm also very jolly available for bookings be it a wedding, festival, hip hop show or formal function. Oh yes indeed. Speaking of which- do come and see me at the Victorian fair at the big chill- it should be a delight.

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Love you lots

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Professor

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A CUP OF BROWN JOY

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I need a cup of the brown stuff the shade of an acorn,

Made warm by the same source that I take my cakes from

Using a teapot a mug or fine china

I've been hooked up to I.V's for a constant supply

Not a drip for my urges might verge on perverted

But or earthy brown tea I'm certain it's worth it

With sherpers and who work herds and use a fresh fountain

I discerned brews from Peruvian mountains

I've slurped up a cuppa from an elephant's trunk

With a couple of monks who utterly stunk

I've had bourbons with sultans, custard creams with queens

I've bathed in early grey, I'm really that keen

Missionaries dismissed me for my single epiphany

The diff between him and me's a simple sip of British tea

So when times are hard and life is rough

You can stick the kettle on and find me a cup

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When I say earl grey you say yes please

Earl grey – yes please

Earl grey – yes please

When I say Assam you say lovely

Assam – lovely

Assam – lovely

When I say ooh you say ahhh

Ohh ahh

Ohhh ahh

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I've been around the world in eighty brews

To see the place it takes me to

To make a brew that tastes like the cream cakes made by angels do

I'm not the same as you, get shaky but aim

To swig amazing fluids but don't make it the same

Using fine leaves picked by pretty maidens

In a bag knitted by a seamstress who lives in Copenhagen

Brewed up in a pot made of semi precious metal

Let the blessed contents settle in my very special kettle

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Now when I say oo- you say long

Oo (long)

Oo (long)

When I say herbal you say no thanks

Herbal (no thanks )

Herbal (no thanks)

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(No, I want milk in it, strong though

I want to see that spoon stand up)

 

If you're tired of tea then you're tired of life

Hah! I'm madder than a hatter and it fires my mic

Liken to me to earl grey Assam or ginger

Lapsing suchong raise my pinkie finger

Keep your sodding coffee in a proper copper coffee pot

and spot me lobbing teapots at your poncy rotten coffee shop

coffee clots nodding off  lost the plot sodding off

need some caffeine tannin and some batten burg to top it off

cut from off a different cloth a different lots can take their beer

on 80 cups a day I haven't slept for 80 years

you can say I'm mad for tea or just say that I'm mad

oh you can't stay any longer I must say that I'm glad

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(all the battenburg for me, I can hardly pour my hands of gone shaky from caffeine,

lovely though, I'd sell my grandma for a cup… well, I'd sell YOUR grandma for a cup) 

I was just getting round to updating me website and I thought I'd post a lil news on here too....

VERY SOUND TRACKS ..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

In between full releases from Elemental, Hip Hop connection and Brighton Hip Hop festival have released the new track 'Not an emcee' produced by the Lo- fi allstars and featuring lj from Southern suspects. It's been on the myspace for a while now and getting a little internet radio buzz, but nice that it will get a proper airing via the festival soundtrack. Keep an eye out for the July issue of HHC and for a sly mini interview and a free cd.

PAINTING THE TOWN WITH ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />SPECIAL SCHOOL

By the time you read this, the Brighton Hip Hop festival should soon be well under way-  a full month of hip hop laced events around this odd seaside town of ours. This one promises to bigger than big- with Foreign Beggars and the cream of Brighton all fixed up for the all day event on July 14^th. It's down on the beach and completely free- so wherever you are, you need to get yourself down the seaside that weekend. Special school will be blazing trails of course, and we have several surprises for the stage show this time around. Check out the festival at http://www.bhhf.org/

On top of that, we'll be holding it down for the festival night at Brighton's legendary open mic night, Slip jam B on July 3^rd at the Hope  and as part of the Wordplay poetry night on 11^th July. That last one is with funk band Great Apes…. Made up of some of the members of Big Daddy Moochin' (Breakin' Bread) and a host of other talented folk- Great apes are the next band to keep your beady little eyes on.

PENNY DREADFULS

Good Christ! The wonders of the Victorian era have been Captivating the fringe at the Brighton festival this year and we've decided to take it on the road. We're starting off with the Beautiful days festival in 18^th July, then swanning off to the Big green gathering on 1^st – 5^th August. Check them both out, decide on your excuse for a sickie then grab a ticket.

The Come into my parlour evening is growing all the time, like a twisted tree with some peculiar fruit. The wonders of Archibald floss and his bed of nails, plus new works from the butcher boys and myself join old favourites like the Wildman and the lovely Miss Faye on stage, in fields. There's a spanking new website too http://www.comeintomyparlour.co.uk, so you can see the bizarre and the beautiful there for yourself.

 SCHOOL UNIFORM

No point in beginning another term without rocking  something special, we've been lucky enough to hook up with innovative label Viewpoint Clothing for some ill ill t-shirts in time for the summer. Already sponsors of the Hip hop festival, Buzz and the Multifinish crew to name a few, Viewpoint have got finest in hip hop clothing with some unique designs. The new Special School T is available now, in a range of high quality colours and the new logo blazing across the front. You'll look naked without one. Buy one or check out the rest of the wares at : http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=83126972

JONSEPT'S FRESH PRODUCE

After years of anticipation, Special School emcee Jonsept is finally polishing up the full length solo album. With production from the likes of Evilsun, guest spots from Syntax, HP and Brighton's finest, and the intricate wordplay of Jon himself- I can honestly say this is the most heartfelt and unique album you'll here this year. And I'm not just saying that. Honestly. You can check out www.myspace.com/jonsept if you don't believe me- or even if you do.

NEXT GENERATION BUSINESS

So far, this has been the year of the workshop for me. Jon and myself worked with two youth groups, Mid Sussex council and Gravity (http://www.westsussex.gov.uk/ccm/content/leisure-and-tourism/arts-service.en?page=3 ) to create some fresh new tracks and put on stage shows with the next generation of emcees. Jon has also been working with Audioactive and I have recently been judging a competition to find the best amateur emcee under eighteen who's ready to turn pro. The level of entries was amazing and a good reminder for us old heads to keep upping our game.

With the Brighton Hip hop festival, come the festival workshops- and from June 4^th, every Monday, we will be holding workshops that are completely free and could lead to a slot at the festival. So if this might be you, or you know someone who would be interested- send em along to Brigthon youth centre or mail www.bhhf.org for more details.

Alternatively, if you are part of a youth group or even an individual who'd like to hire special school for some rap tuition- please drop me a mail at paulalborough@yahoo.co.uk for rates and details. 

much love my lovely internet friends.

Night night and don't let the fleas bite.

hey hey hey-

God I'm excited. I'm so excited with life I just want to give it a big kiss on the mouth with tounges.

I won't presume you'd e interested in my tawdry livliehood beyond the world of music and animal love, but just in case- I have finally escaped the world of offices and started work in a Special School (the irony doesn't escape me) If anyone is reading this and does work in a job they hate LEAVE IT NOW. Not tomorrow, now. Right now. I realised ten years too late and will be kicking myself for it for ages. I am working on a lot of Emcee workshops at the moment for a load of different organisations, so if you have an interest a youth club, school or whatever- I can teach anyone in the world to rap. And i mean anyone.

Anyway, who cares about all that. Not when there is so much music to share with my imaginary myspace pals..

First off, just a quick reminder my new album with Digital Midgets is FREE to download on www.cookshopmusic.co.uk it got props in HHC and is being downloaded lots- so why not join the crowd and don't be all left out wondering what everyone else is listening to.

Also, cop Hip Hop Connection magazine this month for the Brighton Hip Hop Fesitval soundtrack. it contains Glee- a new menagerie tune featuring the lovely Teej. We're going to stick it on a 12" I think, but if you want it first, along with he cream of the Brighton crop, then i recommend the whole lovely package.

My advisory tune '0800 sickie' has kindly been released by that nice man Sinan from Whatever the weather on the new foghorn mixtape. it's only a quid ! (a quid- that's practicly ridiculous) and features the likes of koaste, Syntax Sage francis and Carpetface. I haven't heard it all yet , but you can't go wrong for a quid now can you?

Back to Cookshop and they have released the Caruana banger- 'the grand tour' on their taster ep. it's got Jonathan Krisp, lost idol and Digital Midgets all on it as well so it's also splendid bargain all round.

A new track with LJ of the Southern Suspects is getting some heavy radio rotation on pulse radio, while radio reverb this saturday (brigthon and the net) will feature blackbelt Jonez interviewing me completely naked*, plus I'll be on Juie Fm this Saturday chatting about the festival.

(*perhaps. How are you to know for sure? That's the beauty of radio)

To top it all off, I have a shiney mask (pictured), new photos and tracks up on the myspace page for you to have a gander at and the hip hop festival on the beach this weekend. Oh yeah, if you actually bothered to read all that and you want to get in touch , it's quicker to mail me at paulalborough@yahoo.co.uk cos I check it that little bit more.

God I love Summer. And you. Espeially you.


Elemental