Doug Stanhope has booked a show Friday, April 3 at The Annex on Regent St. in Madison, Wis.

It is unlikely that he'll be bringing his stand-up tour to Milwaukee this time through. So this is your chance.

No freebies, no begging, no guest list, no last minute excuses. I bought my tickets. Now you buy yours. That's the only way you're getting in. Period, end of story...

http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/53923

Once you have your tickets, let me know so we can organize a brigade, get a block of rooms, whatever the fuck, and let's have some god damn fun.

-Hinty

Yes, I know, it isn't that big of a package, and it's not a particularly satisfying package, but it is a good deal.

You get:
-- my 330-page book, "Saving Myself," signed by moi. It's a damn good book, and you know that must be true just by how much I hate myself.
-- A copy of the legendary "Morbid Obscenity" CD signed by me and four of the greatest comics and people in the world (Doug Stanhope, Andy Andrist, Sean Rouse, Lynn Shawcroft).
-- A copy of my Phred Phlegm and the Spit-Tunes CD, "21st Century Crusher," on which I actually sing.
-- A copy of my filthy-language mash-up CD, "Show Us You're Nuts," which is showing its age but still has some yuks.
-- And a "Harverd Spelling" T-shirt in as close a size as we have to what you want. While the shirts last; we're running low.

All for 40 bucks mailed to US addresses or $50 mailed outside the US.

Go here to order. Somebody please get one so I don't feel like a fuckin' bum kneeling in a gutter, selling pencils.

Also, I know I'm screwing people who already ordered the book and asked about an autographed copy. If you really want it, contact me for an address to send the book to me; I'll sign it and return it. Or just come visit and bring the book and let's have some fun.

... the first printed copy of my book, "Saving Myself." It looks pretty damn good.

I'm reminded of the movie "Boogie Nights," when Burt Reynolds and his longtime cinematographer, played by Ricky Jay, finish editing the new Brock Landers movie. Ricky Jay looks up at Burt Reynolds in near awe and says, "it's a real film, Jack." Like they knew what they had been doing before was just bullshit.

But then, this is just repackaged bullshit -- spiffed-up blog writings that are reorganized to form some sort of loose narrative. It's still an entertaining read and it's pretty brutal and honest, if I do say so.

There are still a couple of typos that I have to fix before putting it up on Amazon (I can make changes until then). I need to add page numbers (I thought Lulu would do that). Other than that, it's a finished product.

Here's where to find it:

http://www.lulu.com/content/5568346

That's a special version I set up for early sale, $4 cheaper than the finished product. It still looks great. It's a real book, Jack. If you want the slightly more expensive version on thicker paper, go to

http://www.lulu.com/content/5579046

Here's the bad news: So far, I've sold so few of these that I could have just printed them out myself. You're either far more broke than I thought at a group, or you were just placating me by saying I would be a success as a writer. There go those high expectations once again...

Hello,

To all you peeps who have urged me to become a published author, I have gone ahead and done so.

It's titled "Saving Myself" and is 335 pages of old blog posts, spiffied and polished up and reorganized into a three-year diary of a crazy fat fuckhead. It's still presented in short-essay format so it's a good shithouse read. To that end, I have left the last two pages blank for emergency wiping use, or for smoking DMT-laced weed.

I have done this because so many of you urged me to. Now, it is my turn to urge you to step up and be a published book buyer. I have gone the extra step to save you guys four whole dollars on the price of the book, if you go to this address to buy it:

http://www.lulu.com/content/5568346

This version is $12.95 plus shipping. It is standard paperback stock and size.

I also created a slightly larger version on slightly better paper. It sells for $16.95. The reason is that this is the type and size of book that Amazon and other booksellers will accept to sell on their web site. If I meet with success I will invest the money to make the book available for online sale.

You can also download an e-version for about half price. To the first cocksuck who makes it available on bittorrent: Fuck you in your bright red ass.

If and when it gets sold online, or if an actual publisher buys the rights (yeah right), I will mark it as the Second Edition, so that when I become dead and famous, this First Edition will be worth so much more.

My dog suggested that I put together a video Christmas card for all you people, so I did. Enjoy.

http://hintysen.com