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"Blind Orange" Julius



Last Updated: 11/23/2009

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Status: Single
Country: US
Signup Date: 1/7/2008

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May 18, 2008 - Sunday 
I drive a lot. Not as much as I used to, but since I still have 11 miles to work 5 days a week, that leaves a lot of time for listening to music.

With my iPod, I have access to everything in my car. On longer trips, that tends to be podcasts like Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me and This American Life, episodes of The Onion Radio News or more thoughtful music like John Coltrane's Coltrane Plays the Blues.

But this post isn't about that kind of stuff. It's about music for driving that is driving. This list is anything but complete, and I reserve the right to add to it as I see fit...

  • Be My Yoko Ono - Barenaked Ladies
    Frenetic and crazy. The whole thing is a big joke, but the best joke may be that the chord progression is the same as that in the Beatles' Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hears Club Band. The original on Gordon is great but I bought a wild impromptu version that they did for a special iTunes release that is just plain odd.


  • Sabotage - The Beastie Boys
    If the Beastie Boys wrote a theme song for a 1970's cop drama, this would be it (kind of like in the video for the song).


  • Uncle Walter - Ben Folds Five
    When Ben is just plain banging on the piano, you're in for a real treat. From the band's self titled first album, this song is a real gem that most people haven't heard.


  • But Anyway - Blues Traveler
    If I practiced 20 hours a day, I'd never have the incredible speed of John Popper. This was the first Blues Traveler track I ever heard, the band playing it on Letterman about 20 years ago. I was stunned.


  • Subterranean Homesick Blues - Bob Dylan
    You can't beat the classics...


  • Satisfaction (I Can't Get No)- Devo
    Yes, Devo. The original is great, but when driving, I'll take the Devo version.


  • Elvis Is Everywhere - Mojo Nixon & Skid Roper
    "Michael J. Fox has no Elvis in him..."


  • Happy Birthday, Mr Burns - The Ramones (on The Simpsons
    "Have the Rolling Stones killed..."


  • Tonight I'm Gonna Rock You Tonight - Spinal Tap
    Maybe the band's most serious song... which isn't saying much...


  • Burning Down The House - Talking Heads
    The Live Version from Stop Making Sense. I always though this would be a kickass marching band tune.


  • So Far - Sue Foley
    From the album Time Bomb. Gotta keep an eye on he speed when this one comes on.


  • Institutionalized - Suicidal Tendencies
    A hold over from my college radiodays.


  • The Road - Tenacious D
    "Met a tasty baby in Michigan..."


  • Bob - "Weird Al" Yankovic
    A brilliant reworking of Dylan's Subterranean Homesick Blues in which every line is a palindrome.


  • Common People - William Shatner featuring Joe Jackson
    Where the HELL did this come from?


  • One Word Whisper - Abby Someone
    Maybe a little on the smooth side for this list, but, undeniably, it works


  • Just A Toy - Barenaked Ladies
    Easily BNL's bes electric track.


  • Rockin' The Suburbs - Ben Folds
    Until the release of this album, I assumed that Ben Folds Five was greater than the sum of its parts. The Rockin' The Suburbs album made me realize that Ben is a fucking genius.


  • Born to Run - Bruce Springsteen and the E street Band
    How could driving music possibly be better than this? That intro alone...


  • What Would Brian Boitano Do - DVDA
    "I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings..."


  • Junk Town - Heeler
    The track that inspired this list. I work with the guitarist. Really, check this out.


  • Walking The Ceiling - Hound Dog Taylor and the Houserockers
    Old school Chicago blue instrumental. Hound Dog once said, "When I die they'll say 'he couldn't play shit, but he made it sound good.'"


  • Anti Love Song - Patient 957
    I know it's vain, but the harmonica part kicks ass!


  • Second Voyage Of Noah's Ark - James Harman Band
    A great song, but the harmonica solo blows me away every time.


  • Cuttin' Out - John Lee Hooker and Canned Heat
    Rocking bass line, heavy harp and Hook, the coolest guy who ever walked the earth...


  • Rock Lobster - The B-52's
    That schmaltzy organ just does it for me.


  • Brass Monkey The Beastie Boys
    "I got the bottle, you got the cup, come on everybody let's get... Brass Monkey!"


  • Torqueflite 727 - James Harman Band
    The great thing abi=out an instrumental is that you can name it anything you want. A Torqueflite 727 is a push-button transmission.


  • Gucci Gucci Man - Sugar Blue
    More harmoncia stuff. I won't bore you...


  • BOJ
    May 17, 2008 - Saturday 
    ..

    Wyle E. Coyote is my hero. Think about it. He's smarter than the Roadrunner, who really only has blazing speed on his side. He is able to come up with elaborate plans to catch and eat the Roadrunner, plans THAT SHOULD WORK, but somehow, even the laws of physics conspire against him.

    It would be really easy for Wyle E. Coyote to just give up, to move into some desert community and eat garbage like coyotes are known to do, but he doesn't. He keeps at it. He never gives up.

    We only see little seven minute vignettes of his life. I imagine the rest of his time is spent writing nasty letters to The ACME Corporation complaining about how that pair of rocket skates he bought didn't perform up to advertised specifications. Also I imagine he goes to England to find the grave of Sir Isaac Newton and lift his leg on it. This is all speculation, of course, but I think the Coyote and I have a lot in common. I've got a pretty good idea of what's in his head.

    Then again, I haven't seen any new adventures from him recently. Maybe he did move to the outskirts of Vegas or maybe he got his by a truck. It can't be the last one as I've seen him get hit by a truck on numerous occasions. No, I imagine he's never given up chasing that annoying Roadrunner.

    My guess is that the show became unprofitable which is why we don't see it any more. But Wyle E. still chases the Roadrunner because that's the only life he knows.

    BOJ
    February 11, 2008 - Monday 
    I remember when Willie Mays retired from baseball. It was the first time I'd ever even considered what a professional athlete made, money-wise. That was it for me, money to play a game? How the hell does a guy get that gig?

    At that point, by having exceptional athletic talent, nurturing it, catching a break, being in the right situation. If you had the talent and the situation came up right, you could be a professional athlete. If you avoided injury. If you worked hard. If you were able to work out long and hard with very little time in between workouts.

    roids
    It's a little different today. The Mitchell Report showed us how different it is. Steroids. Human Growth Hormone. Other shit nobody even talks about yet.

    First it was steroids. Back in the 80's there were rumors. Some guys were hitting the 'roids. I was skeptical. Maybe I was just naïve. Maybe I didn't want to believe the game wasn't on the up and up. I mean, how much could steroids help a ballplayer?

    Over the past four days, and once again tomorrow, I have been adminstered 250ml of a steroid, Methylprednisolone
    to help with an exacerbation of my MS symptoms. How much can steroids help. I can talk first hand about how steroids have helped an MS patient. It's like I've turned back the course of my disease by six months. For the first time in half a year, I can say that I don't feel worse today than I did yesterday.

    I follow a very limited exercise program. It's a program that wipes me out. On the Solu-Medrol, I can do more exercise. I have, over the past four days, doubled my exercise routine. I can walk pretty effectively without a cane. I can get things done like I used to. It's absolutely amazing.

    If steroids can do that for me, what could they do for a finely tuned athlete? Imagine a 21 year old outfielder, struggling in the minors, he just needs a break to get to the bigs. Imagine if he could work out twice or three times as often. He still has to have talent, but he can make his body better at an amazing rate, a rate that would be impossible without steroids.

    Drugs, any drugs are not good or bad. They are completely neutral. What we choose to do with them is good or bad. For me steroids are great. For that 21 year old outfielder, steroids are cheating. It's also cheating for all of the juiced pitchers he's facing.

    In reality my major league dreams were over in my pre-teen years. I never had the drive of a Willie Mays and nowhere near his talent. I'll soon be 43 years old. I have Multiple Sclerosis. The Mitchell Report is out and baseball is cracking down on steroid users like myself. I guess I'll never play in the major leagues

    A dream of my childhood is gone, partially (not even close to entirely, though) because I'm a steroid user. The dreams of my adult life, to have a job, to be a productive member of society, to live a life as normal as possible continue because I'm a steroid user.

    In an added plus, I played guitar for about an hour after my IV. I can't remember the last time I just sat down and played. It was amazing. I don't (and most certainly shouldn't, given my ability) measure my personal worth by how much or how well I play guitar, but all of my song ideas come from noodling on the guitar. You can't noodle on the harp. At least you can't sing at the same time.

    Side effects:
    1. I'm not sleeping well

    2. My mouth tastes horrible, like I've been sucking on a nickle

    3. In spite of 2, I'm still really hungry

    4. I'm really horny

    5. I've had a needle in my arm the past 4 days

    6. I have less excuses than I did four days ago


    BOJ
    Proud Steroid User
    January 25, 2008 - Friday 
    When I watch a movie, I pay special attention to the soundtrack. I love the idea of a soundtrack, music beneath what's going on in a movie. When done well, it can heighten the emotion of the scene and make it more memorable.

    I often view my life as something of a movie. Part of it's the business I'm in, part of it is just the age I was born in. Whatever it is, there's been a definite soundtrack to my life. Sometimes songs were in the background, sometimes at the forefront, practically narrating what was going on in my life at the time.

    An old girlfriend, let's call her 2C decided that we needed a song, an our song. I wasn't against having a song, I liked the idea. She wanted to pick one, though, and that seemed pretty stupid to me. You don't choose your song, your song just sort of happens. She insisted, so I started suggesting strange stuff like "A" by Barenaked Ladies.

    She kept shooting down my suggestions as too obscure. She wanted something that we could possibly hear on the radio and think of each other when we heard it. It all seemed a little contrived to me. A song like that just sort of happens. It's really cool when it does, but you just can't force it.

    She eventually chose Eric Clapton's "Wonderful Tonight" to be our song. A song that I always sort of liked, but when we broke up, hearing "Wonderful Tonight" wouldn't bring me to tears. It being our song was completely artificial and it has no effect on me. The last time I heard it was when someone did a poor karaoke version of it. I laughed and kissed la Güera.

    There is a song that always make me think of 2C though, it's "Labor of Love" by Robert Cray. I was alone and thinking of how she wasn't worth all of the trouble she was causing me. I was listening to Robert Cray and when "Labor of Love" came on, it was one of those movie moments, the one where it all comes together for the hero and he can suddenly see:

    I'm awake late at night
    An emotional fool
    Making vows to myself that I can't keep

    Another know it all, lonesome man of the world
    Who can't stop crying himself to sleep

    If push comes to shove
    Seems like this labor of love
    Is just too much work for me


    It's amazing when the words of someone else's song dovetails so nicely with what your thinking at the time. It's pretty powerful, in this case it prompted me to action.

    As much as I'd like to, I've never met Robert Cray. The closest I've ever been to him was at a blues festival. I don't know Robert Cray and he certainly doesn't know me. He's been in relationships and I've been in relationships, we have that in common. He's undoubtedly had some of the same feelings that I have.

    I do know Shawn Bitz of Abby Someone who wrote one of my favorite relationship lyrics ever:

    If it was easy everybody'd be hangin' out with love
    Might seem simple but I gotta admit I messed it up enough
    I feel like hiding away and I could really use a shove
    I've been cut before


    And maybe an even better lyric from the same song:

    She ain't shy, but she's careful what she'll take
    Got her foot on the gas, while she's tapping on the brake


    "Diamond" was the first song I learned to play after moving to Cheyenne. I played it once at an open mic in Ft. Collins, but there was one time I played it for someone in my apartment. It was very fitting for her in her life at that moment. It was kind of fitting for myself as well. Let's call the woman TYA (updated from FYA and HBBA quite a bit before that) and try not to talk about her again.

    I guess what inspired this post in particular was listening to the music of Joe Bucholz and realizing how two of his songs played a pivotal role in two of my relationships, but in different ways. "Next Girlfriend Song" eased me into my current relationship with la Güera, "It's a Little Complicated" reminded me how, well, how complicated relationships can be and I passed it on to the person causing the complication. Sometimes the soundtrack has an agenda.

    As cool as it is when someone writes something that fits what's going on in your life, it's much cooler when you write your own soundtrack. Remember 2C? She was the subject of "Two Condoms":

    All day long I wear two condoms
    'Cuz your virtue is untrue
    Then I whip one off and fell like a wild man
    When I'm with you


    BOJ
    January 8, 2008 - Tuesday 

    Here it is, my music on the world wide web.

    I love the internet because any idiot can put pretty much anything in a public forum and somebody might actually see it.  I guess that's what I'm doing here.

    I don't really consider myself a musician, I bought my first harmonica with my first tax refund.  I carried it around for years but it was more like jewlry than a musical instrument.  I started writing songs about 10 years later, there's a blue notebook in my bed room with some spectacularly bad examples of songwriting - I'm glad nobody's ever seen any of them.

    I got a guitar for Christmas a few years ago, started playing some open mics soon after.  I fell in with some very talented people, folks who could play and sing and write song better than me.  The pressure was off, I could write songs with no expectations.

    I don't write or play as much as I used to, a medical condition makes it nearly impossible to play long enough to do an open mic set.  My guitar is in my living room, though, and I can play for a few minutes whenever the mood strikes me.