I thought I'd let my fellow retro gamers get to know me better, so I wrote a little about who I am as a gamer. Enjoy!

WARNING: This blog may be a little too long for some. This blog is linked through my signature as "Who I Am As A Gamer" for those bored enough to click on my sig on ScrewAttack.com or those curious as to what my favorite game or console is. If it is too long, you can come back to it when you have some spare time if you wish.

Special Thanks:
- digitaldebaser: for the constructive criticism
- Elmo 3000: for passing this blog along to a mod and being awesome
- Keavy_Rain: for recognizing my blogs in the past
- kain_kusanagi: for being VERY patient with technical issues (i haven't forgot you)
- Nintendo Guy & Mrs. Peach: for the inspiration
- Maxifent Corey: helping with login issues a while back
- Daily Destin: for corresponding with me about SGC
- sprint_car_fan2007: for being a good friend
- to all ScrewAttack g1s: for being the best gaming community (seriously, thanks)

The First Time I Played a Video Game, Played a Console and Heard of Mario:
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I was 3 years old living in San Diego, California USA. During my early childhood, I only played with toys, read books, watched cartoons and went to the park/playground for entertainment. I never heard of video games. One day at McDonald's, I got a Super Mario toy out of my Happy Meal. At the time McDonald's was promoting the release of Super Mario Bros. 3, so I got Mario with his raccoon ears & tail. He was one of those toys that was posted on top of a spring and suction cup so that when you pushed him down on to a table, he would spring into the air after the suction cup couldn't contain the tension of the spring. I guess it sort of works like a grenade. I loved that toy to death. I played with it everyday. It eventually broke, leaving me sad, but I went total nerd and tracked one down on eBay still sealed in it's plastic bag. It's in a safe place now. Mario looked like such a happy character, but who was he? When I showed my friend =and neighbor Kyle my cool new toy he said "I know who that is! It's Mario! Super Mario!" he cried. Holy crap! Super Mario? This guy sounds REALLY cool!

Click to enlarge!

Kyle said he'd show me who Mario was. Excuse me, SUPER Mario. He went over to this grey box underneath his television. What was that? A giant VCR? He handed me a rectangular controller with what looked like a compass on the left and 2 bright, red buttons the right side. Were those buttons to change the channel? Fire torpedoes? My dad was in the Navy and he took me to the torpedo station on his ship. Those did look like the buttons on the command console and since all the other buttons were dull and 2 of them were red, I assumed they meant those were the dangerous buttons to shoot the torpedoes. This VCR was starting to look real badass.

He stuck in this huge grey tape of what I thought was going to be a cartoon of Super Mario. Then it started and looked like no other cartoon I'd seen before. "What is this?" I said confused. "It's Mario Brothers. This moves him and this button is to jump. If you old down the B-button while you move him, he'll run," explained Kyle. Wait! Hold the phone. I can move this cartoon character? Oh, hell yeah I'm playin' this game! Screw Candy Land! Princess Frostine can wait another day. Princess Toadstool needs my help now! I jumped and squished my first Goomba (which I just called a "Bad Mushroom"). It was cool, but I thought it was pretty violent. Oh well, it was either kill or be killed I thought. I smashed my first brick with my head which reminded of some kind of karate master like I saw in cartoons and martial arts movies my dad watched. This was too cool. However, I was playing the Super Mario Bros/Duck Hunt cartridge that came packed in with the NES Action Set...

Kyle reset the system and it was back at the menu. "What the hell?!" I thought. Then, Kyle handed me something that totally blew my mind: a bright orange toy gun. "Shoot the ducks," he said casually. "What? On the T.V.?!" I cried. He shook his head and I just couldn't believe it. I was holding the single most technologically advanced toy in my little hand and I was about to crap my pants. I mean... I was playing with fuckin' How Wheels man! And here comes along this toy that I could shoot my T.V. with and NOT get in trouble (unlike my Nerf guns) and kill ducks with?! Fuck, yeah! Let's play! "Can I move the dog?" I asked Kyle. "No, he helps you by himself," he said. I shot my first duck. Holy crap! This thing works! I was capping ducks left and right. 2 more ducks... aw, I missed! I was standing too far away. How foolish! And then it happened... he laughed. My trusted dog friend laughed at me! That laugh sound effect has been ingrained in my memory more than any sound in gaming. More than Ryu's "Hadouken!", more than Doomguy's grunting when you pushed the spacebar up against a solid wall, even more than Mario's NES jump sound. I can still hear him laughing. But he got his comeupance...

Duck Hunt Dog

Ever since I played Duck Hunt, I fell in love with light gun games. Even shitty ones. I've bought some seriously horrible light gun games on the NES, SNES and PSX just so I could shoot my television set. I think I had a total nerdgasm when I played Crisis Zone in the arcade with its huge, bright blue realistic recoiling machine gun. You could even take cover with a built in pedal! God, I love light gun games:)

My Favorite Video Game Genre:
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Despite my fetish for light gun games, my favorite genre is quite different. However, there is a similarity... not with light guns games, but with FPSs. In the same way people love FPSs for their non-stop-shoot-everything-you-see-action, I love beat 'em ups for their non-stop-kick-everybody's-ass-action. Again, despite my love for light guns, I like just rushing into a crowd of gang members in Mad Max-inspired garb only to beat their faces into the cement with my bare hands... be it robot hands, superhero gloves or green reptile hands. The first beat 'em up I ever saw was on a ferry in Seattle, Washington USA. For those who don't know (non US-residents or those who've never left the desert... I don't know. I'm just trying to cater to the foreign g1s) in Seattle, there are many water transports, mostly ferry boats, that carry passengers to other cities around the state of Washington because there's water space available with Seattle being a port-city and to avoid lengthy highway traffic. Why not take advantage of the costal waters? Sometimes, the ride can take a good 45 minutes to an hour and a half. Luckly, the ferries are stocked with newspaper stands, a cafe and arcade machines... pinball, too. After getting familiar with the NES, the newly released Super NES and my dad's DOS computer (DOS gaming FTW!) I was now more familiar with video games. Heck, my dad was a gamer. He had an Atari 2600 AND A ColecoVision as a kid, played arcade games during the Golden Age and was heavily into PC gaming with Wolfenstein 3D, Epic Pinball and especially the shareware release of Doom in its heyday. My dad started taking me to the arcade after I took a major liking to the NES in the early 90's. Needless to say, it was fun and great for father-son bonding. Somehow, I never played a beat 'em up. I guess because I was a kid, I went for the flashy stuff, like the T2 arcade game with the huge guns, After Burner with the moving seat and realistic joystick or Lethal Enforcers... again with those cool looking light guns. I swear I have an obsession with light guns. If my light guns were real, my closet would look like Rambo's. I did see games like Final Fight, Golden Axe, Altered Beast and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in the arcade I went to, but the older kids hogged them although I eventually got to play them.

I finally got to play my first beat 'em up during a ferry ride and it was Konami's Crime Fighters. It looked cool! It was hard as hell though and I couldn't get past the first level (Come on, I was 5 years old). The game was still fun, so I kept putting in quarters eventhough I knew I'd never make it out of the subway. It was neat for a kid my age. It had bright colored red, yellow, blue and green guys you could play as. It had a billboard with a topless (covered) girl on it that I thought was hot (Again, I was 5) but it had this enemy that was pretty freaky. He was some freak who came out of a subway car with a mohawk and a spiked-club that he slowly swung around, trying to kill me with. He was the guy I never got past, but as I grew up I eventually beat the (hard-ass) game. It was awesome and it opened me up to other beat 'em ups.

Later, that same ferry put a Double Dragon cabinet beside Crime Fighters and they later added a huge cabinet for the game The Ninja Warriors. I played those both constantly. I was officially hooked after finally playing the beat 'em ups I mentioned before that the older kids hogged. However, my mind wasn't officially blown until that same arcade (at the Silverdale Mall in Silverdale, Washington USA) added a huge new 6-player X-Men cabinet. I blew so many quarters on that. At the time, Street Fighter II was the #1 game to be occupied by all the older kids, so I spent most of my earliy childhood playing beat 'em ups at the arcade because at the time I thought beat 'em ups and 1-on-1 fighting games were all the same genre: fighting. Now, beat 'em ups are my #1 favorite game genre as they hold a special place in my heart. So fun, so nostalgic.

Here's a quick rundown of my favorite beat 'em ups:

Honorable Mention: X-Men [Arcade]
10. The Punisher [Arcade]
9. Splatterhouse [Arcade]
8. Super Double Dragon [SNES]
7. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV: Turtles in Time [SNES]
6. Final Fight [Arcade]
5. Double Dragon [GB]
4. Cadillacs and Dinosaurs [Arcade]
3. Streets of Rage [Genesis]
2. Alien Vs. Predator [Arcade]
1. The Ninja Warriors [SNES]

My Favorite Video Game:
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My favorite video game is an odd choice for most gamers. I love tech demos, launch titles that really show off what a console can do. F-Zero impressed me greatly on Super Nintendo, but my favorite game of all time would have to be Kinetica for the Playstation 2. Beautiful women that are reminiscent of hot rod models put on suits that have wheels on their gloves and boots, turning their bodies into a sort of gorgeous bond between flesh and machine. They use various acrobatic skills to bend and flex their body to do stunts and launch themselves off ramps. Handstands at 2,231 kilometers per hour, riding on ceilings and graceful flips off huge mountains... this game has it all. Not to mention of the best soundtracks I've ever heard. It's a wonderful compilation of techno, trance and house music and I recommend downloading it for free from Galbadia Hotel.
 

My Favorite Game System:
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My favorite system actually does not house my favorite game and that would be the Super Nintendo Entertainment System. So why is it my favorite? I choose the SNES as my all time favorite console because it houses more of my favorite games on one system than any other. I have some favorites from my personal Top 10 on it, but not my number one. I believe the best gaming soundtracks of all time can be found on Super Nintendo games (Super Castlevania IV, F-Zero, Super Metroid) and the hardware itself is amazing. Mode 7 graphics made the already beautiful 2D environments seem almost 3D. The sound capabilities were ahead of its time, greatly outdoing the Sega Genesis in the department. The Super Nintendo's version of Doom is one of the best, if not the best, version of its soundtrack of any Doom port in existence. The peripherals were interesting (Super Game Boy, Super Scope 6, SNES Mouse) and the controller was simple yet flawlessly responsive. The Super Nintendo is hands down the best of them all.
 

My Favorite Gaming Memory:
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The game that my friend and I stayed up all night to beat was Duke Nukem 64 on the Nintendo 64. We played from 10:00pm to 5:00am finding all the secrets and making our way through all the puzzles and hordes of aliens to finally defeat the end boss at the football stadium. It was great. We were so delirious from lack of sleep that we didn't realize that the reason we couldn't get through one doorway was because our head was hitting the top of the door jamb because our jetpack was still on. When we figured out it was on because of the jetpack's sound we laughed at our stupidity for 5 minutes. Good times.
 

The Reason I'm a Gamer:
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The reason that I'm a gamer today is that I love the lifestyle. It's who I am. I was blown away that you could shoot stuff on TV with the NES zapper at age 3, intrigued by the many different characters in Street Fighter II at age 4, terrified of the demonic roars throughout the Phobos Labs in Doom at age 5 and wowed by the gameplay mechanic of Crisis Zone in the arcade at age 10. Gaming has been part of my life when I meet new people and play a game at their house, meet a stranger to team up with at an arcade or kill time with some friends. I also think that it's the best form of entertainment media. You get the story and visuals of a movie or TV show, the music of a great album and you get full control of it all. For instance, when playing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV: Turtles in Time (SNES) you get the visuals of the cartoon, awesome music AND you get to control all the action and to us kids at the time that made us a Ninja Turtles ourselves. That's why videogames are the best form of entertainment media and that is why I'm a gamer.

So, what have we learned? We learned that McDonald's was responsible for my interest in video games, the NES was my first console though the SNES is my favorite. We also found out that hot chicks plus motorcycle/bodysuit hybrids make for better racing action than F-Zero albeit similar race tracks. We learned that while it may be fun to mow down hordes of demons with a chaingun, it's much more satisfying to punch a gangmember in his face. Also, don't forget that I can get quite delirious from lack of sleep and I fuckin' love light guns.

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Written by Chase357
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Mythbusters:
Hardcore Gamers Vs. Nintendo

Lately, there have been people across the internet spurring a sudden backlash against old school gamers. They have been claiming that they are the very thing wrong with the gaming industry today. Trolls across the interwebs accuse old school gamers of saying Nintendo abandoned them just because they are catering to casual gamers. Not true. These misguided people even blame the negative reception of the game Wii Music on the theory that old school Nintendo fans hate the game because they're playing a game that's not made for them. That is also not true. Even kids think Wii Music sucks. Here at the Retro Game Zone, we celebrate old school gaming, so we bring you a few interesting counter-arguements to these outrageous claims sprouting up in forums everywhere. 



On accustions that old school gamers claim Nintendo abandoned them to cater to casual gamers:
As an old school gamer, I can say that Nintendo IS catering to us. For example, games such as The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, Super Smash Bros. BRAWL and Mario Kart Wii all bring back familiar characters to gamers who grew up playing their earlier adventures. No old school gamer is questioning that Nintendo has been catering to us. How could we with Nintendo's ultimate display of appreciation to their old school fans: The Virtual Console. Plus, I'm sure we'll see a new Star Fox or F-Zero title in the future.

Why old school gamers hate Wii Music eventhough they're not the target audience:
The reason why Wii Music fails is not because it's a kids game, it's because it's not a game at all. Instead of being an easier kid-friendly alternative to Guitar Hero, it's an expensive (and extremely overpriced) noise maker. Who wants to pay $50 at Wal-mart for a noise maker? I'd rather bang on garbage bins and bottles and recreate "Stomp". Wii Music does not teach coordination or timing, but advocates wildly shaking a controller to make rapping/beatbox or dog sounds. Even if that was acceptable (which it's not, even for dumb fun) it has poor music selection. The most important aspect of a music game is music and this game is lacking in that department. I can't imagine a kid having fun playing "O Christmas Tree" while believing that he's resembling playing a guitar by crazily shaking the Wiimote like a hyperactive masturbator. Wii Music is not fun for kids unless they are the kind of kid that finds eating lint off the carpet "entertaining" or thinks the Jonas Brothers are the new Beatles. No parent wants to buy a $50 game that can be recreated with a few pots and pans for free.



Do old school gamers really hate the Nintendo Wii and its casual gamers? 
Not at all. I'm really sick of this old and tired war on the internet about "casual gamers vs. hardcore gamers". Really tired. Let's put an end to it once and for all.

Casual gaming is great. I hope it keeps growing. Why? It let's people who can't handle competive fighting games, complicated RPGs or hardcore FPSs have a chance and feel like they are a part of gamer culture. People that have their minds blown by Final Fantasy or Unreal Tournament can be a gamer just like the hardcore gamers can. They've found their own niche. While cyberathletes dominate Quake and Painkiller, they can kick ass at Wii Sports or Super Monkey Ball: Banana Blitz. Casual gaming expands gamer culture to be excepted by people who previously would never have thought about playing games in their free time. It makes gaming more accessable, exceptable, cooler and more commonplace.



Casual gaming is also great, not only because it unites gamers, but because it protects us. It better protects us from controversey, not fully, but better. While the soccer mom who used to protest against the fatalities in Mortal Kombat would've stomped a game console in the past, she can now use Wii Fit in her spare time or play Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?: Make the Grade with her kids. Instead of protesting, parents are more excepting. When parents play games, they pay better attention to ratings labels when they're buying a game that they might play. Even if they are buying something like Mirror's Edge or Grand Theft Auto IV for their older kids they pay better attention to the game's content because they themselves play games. Even senior citizens can play the Wii when earlier game systems in the past would've confused them into wondering why there was a space-age-looking microwave under their television set. They now have something to relate to when spending time with their grandchildren. To sum up, the more people play games, the more they know and the more excepting they are.

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                 Written by Chase357
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Crossover Dreams:
Why we'll never see MVC3 and how to cope with it.


So many of us have been pining over a sequel to Marvel vs. Capcom 2: New Age of Heroes. Why wouldn't we be? Marvel Vs. Capcom 2 was a great game. It's my favorite fighting game and the different combination for various dream matches make this game timeless. It's awesome! How could Capcom top themselves in Marvel Vs. Capcom 3?

Well, we're never going to find out. That's right. I said NEVER going to find out. Yeah, it hurts me to say it, too. I can't believe as a diehard fan of the series I used the word never, but we gotta rip off the Band-Aid if we ever want the pain of not having a sequel go away.

Why no third installment? Well, Capcom lost the Marvel license around the time Marvel Vs. Capcom 2 was being ported to home consoles. Why? No official reason has been given, but I speculate it had something to do with Marvel wanting to keep all the money for themselves when it came to making Marvel games. They were seeing increasing sales in Marvel titles ever since X-Men games were being released because of the upcoming X-Men movie back in 2000. Now, everytime there's a Marvel film released we see a game based off of the movie and Marvel gets the cash. This is sad because Capcom produced some seriously top quality Marvel titles and with Capcom out of the picture the quality has suffered in most Marvel games. Who wants to play Spider-Man 3 for the Xbox 360? No one? Yeah...

The loss of the Marvel license resulted in the halted production of Marvel Vs. Capcom 2 causing it to become an instant Holy Grail for Playstation 2 and Xbox fans. The limited production produced very few copies worldwide for the two systems, but luckly there were enough produced for the Sega Dreamcast. If you try to track down a copy today, be ready to pay $80-$200 dollars for a copy. I've seen them sold on eBay DISC ONLY for $110. I couldn't begin to imagine what a factory sealed copy would go for. That being said it's much cheaper and much easier of a search to track down a copy for the Dreamcast. I saw a copy in a game shop for $19.99. I recommend the Dreamcast version myself as it's very close to being an arcade perfect port, at least more so than the Playstation 2 and Xbox versions. It's sad that the copy of MVC2 for the PS2 below is considered cheap on eBay.

After the pain of no third installment comes the loneliness... and like a desperate teenage girl who just had her heart broken fans began to look for a rebound. "Who will we get to replace our beloved Marvel Vs. Capcom 3?" we cried. Then the fanboy inside us all begins to come up with crazy ideas. "What about a Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter crossover?" many of us said to our friends, on forums and to ourselves in desperation. Well, in an interview with Ed Boon during the recent release of Mortal Kombat Vs. DC Universe, Ed Boon mentioned trying to work out a deal for such a game a few years ago. He said that Midway was unable to come to an agreement with Capcom on who would get how much money. Damn, so close.

Well, I say Midway and Capcom need to try harder and come to an agreement on who gets how much money. Try harder, dammit! Yeah, but to make up for lost time, I think they need to try something more drastic. Capcom needs to make up for MVC3 never seeing the light of day, so instead of just Mortal Kombat Vs. Street Fighter how about we take it a step further and make Midway Vs. Capcom!

Here's only a pinch of dream matches that I came up with for Midway Vs. Capcom:

Nick Scryer Vs. Nathan "Rad" Spencer
(Psi-Ops: The Mindgate Conspiracy & Bionic Commando)

Torque Vs. Dante
(The Suffering & Devil May Cry)

General Akhboob Vs. M. Bison
(Total Carnage & Street Fighter II)

Bartender Vs. Arthur
(Tapper & Ghosts 'n Goblins)

Sub-Zero Vs. Leon S. Kennedy
(Mortal Kombat & Resident Evil 2)

Max Force Vs. Mega Man
(NARC & Mega Man)

The only way to top this sequel is if Capcom decided to make agreements with others developers? Why not? They did it with SNK, so let's make Konami Vs. Capcom! More dream matches you say? Way ahead of you...

Solid Snake Vs. Harman Smith
(Metal Gear & Killer 7)

Harry Mason Vs. Regina
(Silent Hill & Dino Crisis)

Simon Belmont Vs. Poison
(Castlevania & Final Fight)

Bill Rizer Vs. Shin Kazama
(Contra & U.N. Squadron)

Oolong Vs. Viewtiful Joe
(Yie Ar Kung-Fu & Viewtiful Joe)

Cormano Vs. Michelle Heart
(Sunset Riders & Legendary Wings)

For now though, until one of these crossovers comes into existence or Hell freezes over and Capcom regains the Marvel license, we can dream of other crossovers. I myself will play the two games that counterbalance the awesomeness of crossovers and complement each other perfectly: Marvel Super Heroes Vs. Street Fighter & Mortal Kombat Vs. DC Universe.

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Written by Chase357
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Top 10 Songs in Retro Gaming

Controversey!
This list surprises the hell out of me, so I know it will do the same for you. Remember, it's fine to disagree and make your case, but be polite in doing so.

10. Dance Of The Sugar Plum Fairy (Music A)

Do I need to explain this? To simply put it, it's one of the (if not THE) most recognizable themes in gaming history mostly because it's one of the most popular games in history. The average Joe who knew nothing about gaming turned on the NES and impatiently mashed the start button, skipping through all of the options so that they could cut to the chase and start the game which landed them with the music from the Nutcracker Suite. However, let's not forget that this is the "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy", so that's why it getting the 10 spot. You can't really say to your friend "Hey, let's listen to Dance of the Suger Plum Fairy!". That's a little weird.

Listen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClB7hLtpAAQ

9. Escape Theme

Metal Gear Solid is full of great music, but the theme that stands out the most is the escape theme. Why? Not only is it just sweet to listen to, but it's sudden and sounds like the theme for a T.V. station's breaking news bulletin. It alerts you which is what it's supposed to do as it plays every time you're spotted. I guess that's why I remember it so well - I was always getting caught! Solid Snake I'm not.

Listen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UddVyyL71Ec

8. TIE: World 1-1 & Underworld

Again, does this need an introduction? Like Kid Icarus, the first four notes of level 1's theme from Super Mario Bros. is recognizable by almost anyone who's even come into contact with a video game. Super Mario Bros. was widely ushered in as many a gamer's first game and naturally their first 8-bit tunes. It's catchy and so is the second level's theme. It's slow and funky and easy to get stuck in your head. It was something that should have come from someone extra funky like Issac Hayes or something. The World 1-2 theme deserves as much recognition as the theme from World 1-1.

Listen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEKDF_WbMlg
Listen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDPLZzJKFuo

7. At Doom's Gate (E1M1)

Fast paced heavy metal was the perfect soundtrack choice for a game where you mercelessly slaughtered hordes of demons from space all the way to Hell. The very idea sounds like the backstory of an awesome action movie or music video. Doom's music was the first thing that caught my attention and got me interested in the game in the first place back in '93. Whether you think the e1m1 theme sounds like either Metallica's "Master of Puppets" or "No Remorse" one thing's for sure, it rocks your face off!

Listen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7efNAruDoc

6. Mission 1

Every kid thought that going to the arcade and looking like a tough guy was the coolest thing to do... which it was. With Double Dragon, you and another random kid got to be tough guys while playing an arcade game. The Stage 1 tune was like your very own theme song for being a cool 80's or 90's kid while beating some ass.

Listen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkTX5gNaXxY

5. U.S.A. (Ken's Stage)

Street Fighter II was released in 1991 and it shows (in a good way). As each decade begins, the styles of the previous decade sort of carry over. The 70's styles were carried over in film The Blues Brothers in the early 80's while the music of the 80's was carried over into  early 90's arcade games. In Street Fighter II, the music is very influenced by 80's pop and rock music... besides the sterotypical Chinese music in Chun-Li's stage. With Ken's stage, the best of 80's pop rock shines through! It sounds like something out of an action movie of its time - very John Carpenter. It makes me think of music from films like Near Dark, Escape from New York and Repo Man. You just want to beat some ass everytime you hear it. Nice job, Capcom!

Listen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-9iQKWajrY

4. Simon's Theme

I was looking for an awesome song from an adventure game for this list. At first I thought, the Overworld theme from The Legend of Zelda, then a song from Pitfall: The Mayan Adventure and I was really decided on Fillmore from ActRaiser. Then I remembered "Of course, Vampire Killer!" I was ready to put down that classic NES tune until I said to myself  "Is that really Castlevania's best music?" It was not, so I went back to the console with the best music - the good ol' Super NES. Yes, ActRaiser had some of the most incredible music in any SNES game, but Super Castlevania IV is superior in my eyes. Simon's Theme in the first level opens your eyes to the enormity and scale of the quest that lies ahead. The theme just has "adventure" written all over it and you feel so triumphant as you trudge through the first stage to get through all of the wild locals to take on Dracula in the final unholy standoff.

Listen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9sX3fjpkFwk

3. Mute City

It's face paced and upbeat. You're ready to race to it while being "cool 'n' calm" at the same time. It fits the futuristic setting without giving into the stereotypical role of cheesy, stock techno music like so many games do that are set in the future. It's as simple as that.

Listen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2ugo7pRjAk

2. Grabbag (Duke Nukem Theme Song)

The theme song is so cool that thrash metal band Megadeth covered it for the album Duke Nukem: Music to Score By. When you started up the game in all its ancient DOS glory and reached for the joystick, you would quickly turn it into your electric guitar and mock-strum along to the them while making up lyrics to go along with the tune... or maybe that was just me. For the 1 badass of all-time the alien ass-kicker got one rockin' anthem that truly lives up to his legend.

Listen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwYlEgOKrTM
Listen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUCbflBkIgo

1. Daddy Mulk

This song absolutely rocks. It is the king of all beat 'em up tunes and GOD of all video game music. It has that rare combination of synth and rock that work so flawlessly. There's even an amazing solo where one of the band members rocks a shamisen like Eddie Van Halen does an electric guitar. It's so insane. The music was created by the game developer's in-house band Zuntata. Zuntata is so amazing that they not only did the music for all ports of The Ninja Warriors, but they also made a short film that acts as the backstory that you can see on the TurboGrafx-CD version. They still play music from their games at Video Games Live, an annual concert for video game composers to play their music for fans. Recently, they've done music for Exit on the PSP and Space Invaders Extreme on the Nintendo DS. This song is perfect.

Listen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NteidGHXV7U
Listen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04q7lJULIVY

Honorable Mentions
"Big Blue" from F-Zero (Super Nintendo)
"Bubble Man Stage" from Mega Man 2 (NES)
"Corneria" from Star Fox (Super Nintendo)
"Dr. Wily's Castle" from Mega Man 2 (NES)
"Full-bore (Fulgore)" from Killer Instinct (Super Nintendo)
"Green Hill Zone" from Sonic the Hedgehog (Sega Genesis)
"Super Metroid Theme" from Super Metroid (Super Nintendo)
"Saria's Song" from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (Nintendo 64)
"Message For The Archvile (MAP20)" from Doom II: Hell on Earth (PC)
"Razorback" from Unreal Tournament (PC)
"Storm Eagle Stage" from Mega Man X (Super Nintendo)
"Vampire Killer" from Castlevania (NES)

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Written by Chase357
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Diary of a Jaded Gamer

"If there was one game in the world that you could rid from existence, what would it be?" - Stuttering Craig, ScrewAttack.com

The answer is simple. Anything and everything that bares the name:



Have you ever loved a franchise or series so much you got excited when someone mentioned it? That was how I felt about Spawn. He was the ultimate anti-hero, a true tortured soul and a comic book fan's dream. Loving comics as much as I did, I became a fan of Spawn in no time. Today, I own the 1st issue of Spawn and the first action figure of Spawn which are both unopened in mint condition. I even went so far as to join the fan club to obtain an uncensored gory version of Spawn's nemesis/mentor, Clown. Spawn was cool from his powers to his looks and attitude. Naturally, as a Spawn fan and as a victim of merchandise brainwashing, I had to get the Spawn video games. This is where things start to suck shit.

Censored Clown - Holding Bones on top Trash Pile
http://s165.photobucket.com/albums/u77/comawhite_88/?action=view¤t=series27_clown5_photo_01_dp.jpg

Uncensored Clown - Holding Arms on top Screaming Victim
http://s165.photobucket.com/albums/u77/comawhite_88/?action=view¤t=other_clown5-club_photo_01_dp.jpg

 


Todd McFarlane's Spawn: The Video Game
(1995, SNES)

How could you go wrong with one of the coolest comic book characters on one of the greatest games systems? I thought Spawn WAS the coolest comic book character and the Super Nintendo is my favorite game system to this day. How do you screw up such a winning combination?

Well, you can start by adding terrible controls. The attacks for Spawn have the SHORTEST RANGE EVER! You have to be pretty damn close to hit enemies. You can do some cool looking fighting moves, but it seems like Spawn trained to fight within the confines of an office cubicle. The game is ridiculously difficult as well, but that's because you take so much unnavoidable damage. Seriously, the enemies may be easy at first, but later on you're treated to all sorts of shit flying around that you can't dodge and bosses that take cheap shots. Not to mention the AI is really bad. With enemies constantly walking into walls, walking past you and comitting suicide.

Spawn: The Eternal
(1997, PSX)

A 3D Spawn game? Hell, yeah! This was to be released at the same time as the Spawn movie, so I thought it was going to be a movie game. If that were true then it was going to suck hard. Well, the movie came and I was pumped up to see it. Of course, the movie blew ass and I felt betrayed as a fan. Well, it took a little longer for Spawn: The Eternal to come out and it was to be based off the comics, not the movie. Since they were taking longer to make it, I thought it was going to be good, especially since it was based off the comics. Instead, I got the worst game I HAVE EVER PLAYED!
It was a huge let down. The controls were so unresponsive and slow I thought I was going to break my controller everytime I tried to turn Spawn because I pressed so hard. Making Spawn walk through a back alley is like trying to drive an army tank through a hedge maze while on LSD. The graphics are abysmal. There is so much pop up and things generally look like shit anyway. One time, the enemy I was fighting disappeared and reappeared on my arm! He got stuck to my wrist like a bracelet and when I punched he would flop around! After a few more punches he rolled away... up a building. Yeah, screw this game. Everytime you fight an enemy, even a common thug, the screen goes black and you fight in a 2D mode like Mortal Kombat, but it's like you're fighting on the moon because everything is slowed down and horribly delayed.
Adam Douglas of IGN.com said it best.
"It's a disappointing game that sullies the fine Spawn name."
He's right. Spawn is a great character. Unfortunatley, just like another great hero named Superman, Spawn hasn't received the game he deserves.

Spawn: Armageddon
(2003, NGC/XBX/PS2)
What's really sad is that this is the best Spawn game. I guess it's not that bad, but only if you're a die hard Spawn fan and I guess that's how I can bare this game. However, I'm still an educated gamer and I can spot a poor video game when I see one.
The main problem is the fact that it's a ripoff of Devil May Cry. Oh no, not a good one either. It rips off Devil May Cry 2. That means it suffers the same boring, monotonous shoot, hack and repeat gameplay of DMC2. It even shamlessly steals the firewalls that block other areas until you defeat all enemies and a very similar power up system. The thing that makes it worse than Devil May Cry 2 is a terrible camera during the heat of battle and boring, bland environments which were outstanding (at least cool looking) in Devil May Cry 2.

"If there was one game in the world that you could rid from existence, what would it be?"
I'm truly disappointed with the Spawn games, but I'd have to destroy Spawn: The Eternal for the Sony Playstation. It's that bad.
"How would I destroy it?"
I would send it to the fiery pits of hell with Spawn to be tortured for all eternity. You don't get a worse punishment than that.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
I realize I left off some other Spawn games, but they're unappealing as well. I left them off because they were not as bad or as infamous as the three mentioned.

Spawn (Game Boy Color)
Spawn (Arcade)
Spawn: In the Demon's Hand (Dreamcast, an arcade port.)

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Written by Chase357
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Top 5 Retro Gaming Badasses!!

With each generation of games come new heroes to journey through adventures and battle against evil forces. There are plenty of tough guys in games today like Marcus Fenix, Dante and Niko Bellic that are not your typical heroes. Just like with comic books, video games are trading out your typical do-gooders for flawed anti heroes in the search for more believeable and realistic storylines. Just like today's games, older games of yesteryear had their fair share of badasses, too. Let's take a look at the 5 biggest badasses in retro gaming.

 5. Pitfall Harry Jr.


Who the hell is Pitfall Harry? You smug bastard. If you'd put down Halo 3 for 5 seconds you'd know that Pitfall Harry was the star of the game Pitfall, which was pretty much Indiana Jones for the Atari before Indiana Jones got its own game. Pitfall Harry Jr. gets the number 5 spot over his dad because of what he went through. Introduced in Pitfall: The Mayan Adventure, Pitfall Harry Jr. had to rescue his father after he was kidnapped by a giant stone golem while exploring the Mayan jungles of Latin America. He also has to brave evil shamans, dead warriors, many boobytraps, quicksand and even a jaguar god. He gets bonus badass points for being voiced by the legendary chin, Bruce Campbell in Pitfall 3D: Beyond the Jungle.

Badass Factor: Survives the dangers of the Mayan jungle and black magic during his quest to rescue his father while sounding like Bruce Campbell.

 4. Mario


Mario's a great character in gaming, but is he really a badass? Well, you tell me.  The guy goes on a plumbing job with his brother only to find out that contrary to children's song, you CAN get sucked down the drain. What would you call a guy from Brooklyn who manages to accept that he's fallen into another world where dinosaurs roam freely? I'd call him a badass. Plus, he manages to overcome his weight problem and jump higher than anyone in the entire land and rescue a princess, restoring peace to all the land. Talk about will power.

Badass Factor: Able to come to terms with falling into another dimension and achieving major physical feats despite weight problems.

 3. Leon S. Kennedy
   

Another video game character that has overcome great odds is Leon S. Kennedy. He started out as a rookie R.C.P.D. police officer only to be thrown into a city of flesh-eating re-animated corpses. On top of mutants and the living dead, Leon manages to look after 3 women. He works together with Claire Redfield to help each other escape the city all while being jerked around by some crazy bitch who's not only using him to obtain a virus sample, but runs off constantly leaving him alone in a city of death. Oh, and she almosts shoots him. Yeah, Ada Wong has serious mental problems. For a rookie, Leon manages to save not only himself, but he gets Claire and Sherry Birkin out of the city alive. He even later lands a job protecting the U.S. president's daughter... and eventually has to rescue her. What a badass.

Badass Factor: Rookie cop survives an entire city of mutants and zombies as well as a crazy spy.

 2. Doomguy


For a game filled with Satanic content, the hero of the game known only as the "Doomguy" is a pretty upstanding man and one hell of a marine. According to the storyline of the first game (which can only be found in the instruction manual) he is ordered to fire upon unarmed, innocent civilians by his superior officer. Rather than kill innocents, he assaults his superior putting him in a full-body cast. What makes him a badass even further is what he does in the wake of a science experiment gone wrong. He takes on the worst kind of monsters - not just zombies, but demons from Hell! You don't fight monsters anymore evil than that! Sometimes he tosses aside conventional weapons for a more "up close and personal" approach using a chainsaw or even his fists! However, the Doomguy really becomes a badass in the incredibly awesome, but overlooked game Doom 64. After he travels to Hell and defeats the unholy "Mother of Demons" (actual name of monster) according to the credits he "remains in Hell to ensure no demon rises again". He's actually willing to stay in the worst place in the universe to make sure everyone remains safe? If that's not a marine, then I don't know what is. Hoo-rah!

Badass Factor: Standing up for what's right, becoming a one-man-army fighting the actual forces of evil even if that means suffering himself to protect billions of people.

 1. Duke Nukem


Forget G.I. Joe. Duke Nukem is the real American hero! A man so tough, he should be as much of an American legend and tall tale as Paul Bunyan or Pecos Bill. Duke Nukem is the ultimate badass because he's what every guy wants to be. He's nearly unstoppable and can dish out some serious ass-whoopings, he can have any girl he wants, he's got access to tons of weapons and he always has some clever one-liner to say. He's even shown as hero loved by everyone in Duke Nukem: Manhattan Project. That's why he's the number 1 badass.

Badass Factor: Single-handedly saved earth from alien invasion and being a hero to every man who dreamed of being an action hero.

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Written by Chase357
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I just wanted to share my experience, so if I say something that's already been said don't freak out. There are SPOILERS ahead for those who haven't seen it.

I went to the midnight show and it was packed. I went in thinking that people who weren't Batman fans were there to see the movie just because it was the late Heath Ledger's last complete on-screen performance. I was definitley afraid that the movie was hyped based solely on that fact, but Ledger's acting has impressed me in every film he's appeared in (yes, even as a cowboy) even if the movie itself wasn't great.

Right away, I could tell that Ledger's Joker had mental problems. His story about the origin of his scars differed with each telling, letting the audience know that he was liar. The way he carried on a conversation and his unflinching demeanor towards his display of wanton violence made you feel creeped out. Everytime the Joker came on screen I felt a wave of dread come over me. Never has my jaw dropped so far down to the floor in my life for anything than when the Joker made a pencil disappear... WHAM! The Joker in this film is much less of a goofy, cartoony act. His videotape of him torturing a wannabe vigilante is terrifying and you can tell the Joker loves nothing more than mind-f*cking those who can't help themselves. He has all the power over this "Batfan" and he's going to let him know it before killing him in a sudden demonic rage. He's a happy terrorist and you can see the satisfaction on his gleefull face as he swings his head out the window of a speeding, stolen police car. He's happy with the chaos he causes and he enjoys the freedom that he takes. It's like A Clockwork Orange's psychopathic Alexander DeLarge times ten. Ledger's take on the demented clown is so nihilistic that not only does he not care about those he hurts as he turns Gotham City into his playground, he openly causes pandemonium for nothing but pure thrills as he burns his share of money. Nothing means a thing to him except complete freedom to do as he pleases. He's so nihilistic in fact that he ends up trying to prove that humans are naturally selfish, a testament to his belief that he's given up on the world. He believes people can be corrupted into monsters like him and he conducts an experiment with one individual and ultimately succeeds in the person's demise.

Which brings me to Aaron Eckhart's performance as Harvey "Two Face" Dent. Aaron Eckhart seems to have gotten the raw end of the deal in his acting career. He's a fine actor that has been played down because of his appearences in not so good movies (Paycheck, The Core and The Black Dahlia) despite his best efforts. He finally got the credit he deserved in Thank You for Smoking and in here in Knight his performance as Harvey Dent shines. Even the transformation to Two Face doesn't mar his performance as he changes his persona unlike the Dark Knight himself.

While I truly like Christain Bale as an actor and he plays a fine Bruce Wayne here and in the first film, his Batman here in Knight seems forced. It's especially bad at the most tense and climatic part - the standoff where Two Face has Gordon's kid. That throaty gruff voice seems like Bale couldn't find his tough side through character and chose to force a desperate attempt through a voice... and I'm not alone in my thinking (http://movies.yahoo.com/mv/news/ap/20080803/121779624000.html).

Despite Batman's dialogue delivery, Bale's performance was great as well Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman and Maggie Gyllenhaal. Though I'm opposed to actor swapping in films that use continuous storylines (especially with consistent actors) I didn't mind the Katie Holmes swap on the role of Rachel Dawes because Maggie Gyllenhall's performance was even better. She seemed more genuine and heartfelt toward Bruce Wayne and others around her in general.

The film is dark and gritty (the title should be taken quite literaly) and I consider it more like a crime film which is great because Batman started out as a crime story anyway as far as comic books go. The violence is suggested (a smart move on Nolan's part) but still feels like an R-rated film while still maintaining a PG-13 rating. It's an odd sort of balance of giving a hardened action fan the feeling of a hard boiled crime flick while still managing to not upset parents even though it clearly wasn't made with kids in mind like the last film. I consider it to be one of the best crime films I ever seen as well as THE best comic book movie I've seen. It even managed to top the superhero blockbuster Iron Man which raked in a lot of praise from critics as fans alike as did this film. Though I agree with the majority on Ledger getting at least nominated of his performance we have to step back, look at the big picture and not bullsh*t ourselves. He probably won't be nominated because the Academy tends to turn its nose up at films like these. It's possible, but even for an actor like Ledger, it's a long shot. I do think he deserves it along with Nolan for "Best Director" but we can at least be happy with the praise it's garnered from critics and fans alike. At least this comic adaption has gotten better treatment than any video game movie ever has. - Chase357

How it stacks up against other comic adaptions (in my opinion):
1. The Dark Knight
2. Iron Man
3. The Crow
4. Sin City
5. V for Vendetta

Top 5
Drinking Games
for
Gamers

These games are all my creations because drinking and driving don't mix... but games 'n' booze sure do! I would've added Wii games to the list, but I felt that it would be bad if I was the inspiration behind games that led to broken lamps and television sets.  

5. The Alarm Game
Everytime someone sets off an alarm someone chugs a beer or takes a shot of whatever you're drinking. I find this works great for when baby Mario gets knocked off Yoshi's back in Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island. This game is especially fun when playing any Metal Gear Solid game. Everytime Snake is spotted and the escape theme plays... take a shot! That'll teach ya to suck!

4. The Good Pilot Game
This one's for the Star Fox fans! Sometimes your teammates can be bossy. Sometimes they can be stupid. Everytime you're told to "Do a Barrel Roll!" then you better do it... and take a shot as well! That's right. Everytime. If you think you're going to do some heavy drinking, you haven't seen anything yet! You're also going to drink everytime you have to save Slippy's stupid ass! HAHAHA! You're going to get plowed.

3. The Extra Pwnage Game
It's bad enough that you got fragged. It even worse when it was your kid brother that took you out with a headshot from across the map, but it just adds salt to the wound when he teabags your corpse mercilessly. He may then proceed to shoot you in the nuts, but for extra pwnage you're taking a drink! Yeah, that'll teach you to suck in front of your friends ya freakin' n00b! This works with any FPS with a crouch function, so feel free to dust of some old PC classics as well.

2. The Red Shell Game
Sure, with other racers you can make everyone else who didn't come in 1st place take a drink and you can do the same with Mario Kart, but when you add red shells into the mix you've got a whole new thing goin' on! When you don't make first place you still have to take a drink, but you add a shot to your punishment for EVERY RED SHELL you've taken during that race. It really sucks for you when your buddy gets a triple shell power up and stops in the middle of the race just to waste them all on you. Haha... bitch.

1. Guitar Hero
Now what kind of drinking game is Guitar Hero? While it's not technically a drinking game it still is a fun game to play while drinking. I love playing drunk Guitar Hero. It's my favorite game. While you could come up with other ways to get hammered like whoever scores the lowest points drinks or whoever breaks their string on GH3 has to take a shot, the best way to play Guitar Hero is to just enjoy it... in a drunken stupor. Those colorful lights will mess with ya!

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Written by Chase357
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Top 5 Scariest Characters
in
Retro Gaming

For the sake of argument, retro games are 2002 and older.

5


Cyberdemon
Doom - PC

Why are you so afraid?: Black candles replace fluorescent lighting, demonic sculptures replace super-computers and pentagrams replace military seals. As your military base grows increasingly dark and merges with Hell's terrain, you start to hear things. One of which is hydraulics, only it doesn't power any machinery...it powers a demon! The Cyberdemon gets a spot on my list for the ability to sneak up on you despite being three-stories tall! Oh, yeah and it has a rocket launcher for an arm, making it as dangerous as a tank.




Demonic rage and cybernetic weaponry don't mix well.



..4


Baraka
Mortal Kombat II - Arcade

Why are you so afraid?: It's the first kombatant to have weapons ready at his disposal. Baraka has a one up on X-Men's Wolverine by having yard-long retractable blades in each of his forearms. Besides being able to chop of your head with one swipe, Baraka gets bonus points for looking scary and not for just his large teeth. Originally, Baraka had no eyeballs. People with empty eye sockets scare me.



If I was in a karate tournament and I had to fight this dude, I'd be like "Fuck that..."



3


Nemesis
Resident Evil 3: Nemesis - Sony Playstation

Why are you so afraid?: So, I've got some bad news for ya. Not only are you the only person that believes that the Umbrella Corporation is responsible for the city-wide epidemic, but you're the only person left alive in a quarantined city that's filled with fleash-eating zombies and it's about to have an atom bomb dropped on it by the U.S. military. Oh, and there's a 7 foot tall genetic experiment with a bazooka and he's looking for you. This game was already stressing enough and then you find out you have a mutant stalker trying to kill you. Sure, you may seem safe in that police station...and then all of a sudden Nemesis bursts in through the window only to launch a rocket down the hall toward you!



The price of fucking with mother nature is this crazy beast.



2


Lying Figure
Silent Hill 2 - Playstation 2

Why are you so afraid?: You're the only person around in this extremely foggy town called Silent Hill. It's creepy that a town could be so empty and you're starting to feel all alone in the world. You just want to find your wife. After all, you thought she had been dead all of these years. Making your way through the foggy streets, you see a figure lying in the road. You go up to it to see if the person's alright, then HOLY SHIT! It scurries under a parked car like a pissed-off rattle snake! You go for a closer look to see what the hell's going on and it pops up on the other side of the car. It's walking toward you in an awkward way as if it's using its legs for the first time. Its arms seem to be under its skin like a straight jacket made of flesh. It spews acid at you through a hole in its chest...fuck this, it's time to take it out with a few bullets.



That is one disturbing creature design. It would put anything Clive Barker created to shame.


1


Jennifer
Splatterhouse - Arcade

Why are you so afraid?: You fight your way through grotesque monstrosities in a bloody rage to save your beautiful girlfriend, Jennifer. However, when you finally reach her, she screams for help as her skin rips off to reveal a demon that's taken over her! What a total mindfuck! I have to kill my girlfriend?!

FROM      TO      !!!!

Your princess is not in another castle... she's DEAD!

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Written by Chase357
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Shigeru Miyamoto is a hero!
Shigeru Miyamoto was named the 1 most influential person in Time Magazine's "Your Time 100" list. There wasn't much to the Time Magazine article. It mentioned that Stephen Colbert was beaten out of the 1 slot and that Miyamoto won with 1,974,651 million votes, but what they failed to mention was why.
I agree with time in giving Miyamoto-San the 1 spot. Why? He broke the mold and kept the game industry from getting stale by introducing one of the most innovative pieces of technology: the Wii. Originally dubbed the "Nintendo Revolution", the Nintendo Wii made gaming a bit more realistic having to act it out. With a swing of a tennis racket (Wii Sports) or the cocking of a rifle (Call of Duty 3), gaming got even more interesting and opened the market to a wider audience. It helps keep people from being couch potatoes with your average controller sometime implementing the help of props (the Wii Wheel and the Wii Zapper.)
Anyway you slice it, Miyamoto deserves it. After all, Atari almost single-handedly killed the gaming industry. They didn't give programmers the pay or credit they deserved and they released some extremely terrible games (E.T. and Pac-Man for the 2600). They caused what is known as the "Video Game Crash of 1983". People saw gaming as just another trend that died like the Pet Rock.

Why would anyone want to play this? There was not one part of the movie that could have turned into gameplay anyway!
Along comes Shigeru Miyamoto. His first US success was reviving the arcades with a game that not only had your usual skill of wits, but something a game never truly had: a story. The arcade game was called Donkey Kong and it rocked the arcades. Then he saves the console market. Video games appeared to be a dead fad. So, Miyamoto decides to make the smartest move in MARKETING history: market the Nintendo as a toy. People bought into the Nintendo as a toy with the help of packaging the NES with the cute little robot known as R.O.B. Along with a couple controller, an NES Zapper and the combined titles of Duck Hunt and a game that was unlike anything anyone had seen before (the legendary Super Mario Bros.) and Shigeru Miyamoto turned a dead fad into multi-billion dollar industry and a lifestyle to millions like you and me. Not to mention he's created other awesome Nintendo franchises and characters like The Legend of Zelda.

R.O.B. is the shit!

Yep, he absolutely deserves the honor as Time's 1 Most Influential Persons.

We salute you, Shigeru Miyamoto!

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Written by Chase357
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