The past two weeks have been somewhat of a blur, but I will try to post this all the way through.
Saturday May 10th, on the way home from an early Mother's Day Dinner, we were sitting in traffic on the 5 freeway and were in a car accident. We were hit by a drunk driver. It was not a hard hit, and not a lot of damage was done, very minor at that, but being pregnant, my husband and I thought it best to go to the hospital to be monitored.
While we were there, my blood pressure was sky high, and for some reason, the baby's heartbeat would drop, but then immediately pick itself back up. They kept us overnight to continue monitoring us.
On Mothers Day - May 11th - my doctor decided it best to have an emergency c-section... Liam was born at 4:25pm - 8 weeks early. For some reason unknown to us, Liam was incredibly small. He should have been around 4.5 pounds, but instead was less than 1 pound (15.9 ounces to be exact) and was 10 3/4 inches long.
They are doing a biopsy on my placenta to see if it was not working correctly, which would lead to Liam being so small. There may be other reasons, and so we are doing tests to find out.
The first day after he was born, he was doing very well. Unfortunitely, they call that the honeymoon period, because it does not last long. Liam started having a hard time with his lungs.. he was not oxygenating correctly, and they brought in a few different ventilators to help him, but to no avail. The only thing that was working, is called hand bagging, and they literally manually pump oxygen into his lungs.
Thursday night, the doctor came in and told us that were going to have to transfer Liam to a level 3 hospital. Friday morning at 5am, they transfered him to Childrens Hospital Los Angeles.
After being there for about an hour, Liam took a major crash. They somewhat hat him stable, but within the next 24 hours, more problems crept in. His small intestines died, which is not compatible with life. He was not circulating his blood, and they could not level out his blood pressure. They had him on dopamine, versed, epinephrine and hydra cortazone shots. Nothing was working. They told us Liam was not going to make it.
Saturday night was the first time I was able to hold him. It was the greatest feeling ever.
On Sunday the 18th, we decided it best to take him off the machines. His heart rate was going down right infront of our eyes, and his body was crashing.
I held him in my arms until there was no longer a heartbeat.
Pony and I are very grateful for the week we had with Liam. We were able to hold his little hand, and look into his big eyes. It was definitely not enough time, but we are glad we had it .
Liam's service was on Saturday May 24th, and thank you to all of our friends and family who attended. And another thank you to those who sent their condolences.
Our life has been completely flipped upside down. And I don't think it will ever be normal again. But we are holding in there. Pony and I are very thankful that we have eachother through this. Pony and Justus are the only things that are keeping me going...without them, I don't know what I would do.
" Life is not Forever... Love is "