When someone close to you passes, a full spectrum of emotions pumps through your heart, flows through your blood and then leaves your body in the form of tears.
What makes life so valuable? This question has many answers and no single answer is completely right. We sometimes lie to ourselves and in the back of our minds believe that we’ll be here forever, but life is a cycle... and life is precious because of death. Because we all know that our time on earth is limited and that we have to appreciate and take advantage of every single moment that we are here.

What makes death such a tragedy? There is a good chance that this question is even harder to answer because of the many variables involved with each specific case. But pain, fear, grief and anger are all very normal. I’m not a psychologist, but it seems obvious that attachment... not allowing yourself to accept the natural way that the universe constantly changes and unfolds itself... causes pain to be much sharper. Change can be a great thing and it can be a terrifying thing, but it is the very essence of human existence and there’s nothing more beautiful.

What can I say about my father, Eugene? He was a good man who believed that it wasn’t enough to be just a man, but that you have to be a gentleman. He always held doors for people and was very polite to strangers. He only treated people the way that he would expect to be treated, and would never accept anything less. He didn’t like it when people were rude or used bad language and wouldn’t tolerate any display of disrespect. Although he was a man who appreciated things to be of good quality and well made, he never had the desire to show off or bring attention to himself. He believed in doing things the right way or not at all. He was very good with his hands. He could fix anything and took great pride in his work.

He wasn’t a man of many words, but he had a very warm heart and a very bright mind. He loved his family, he loved kids and he loved all animals. Some of the times that I saw him smile the most and get excited were times when he saw a puppy or even a show about animals and their young on the discovery channel. He would grab my attention with a glowing expression on his face and tell me to look. He cared about little things and always worried about everything except for himself.

Although I was doing well in school, he always told me to study and to do my homework when I wasn’t. I told him not to worry about it and he always said, “If I don’t worry, then who will?” He put his family first and never had the tendency to complain about anything unless he was asked what his thoughts were. Even if it was clear that he was not happy about something, he kept it to himself.

He was a very straightforward man and was extremely honest and fair. He would never lie or cheat and would never take the side of a person if he knew that they were wrong, even if that person was his own family member. He had a genuine quality about him that is not seen in many people. He was a brave man. He gave up a lot to leave his life and everything that he worked hard for to come and live in the United States, and he did it for his kids. He did it so that I could have the very best and succeed in life.

He was taken from us way too soon and it hurts, it hurts a lot. But that’s just the way it is and he would want us to keep living our lives. He would want us to thrive and reach our full potential. As hard as it is for the ones closest to him, he would not want us to live the rest of our lives dwelling in past, full of pain and replaying in our minds what had happened... over and over again, blaming ourselves and asking “what if it happened differently?”

Life’s too short to spend your days dwelling in the past. This doesn’t mean that you have to forget about your history or pretend that things didn’t happen. The past is good for looking back on your memories... good and bad. Seeing what you learned from them and remembering the course of events, which led you up to this day. But if you allow yourself to be stuck there, you’re not living. It’s also a waste to live only for the future, in hopes of better days. You will never be in the future. The future only comes one moment at a time and we are always in that moment. That moment is now. The eternal, present moment is the most real, precious thing and it’s all we really have. We have to embrace it in order to feel completely alive. We have to feel the air we breathe and be conscious of it. Look at the sky, the trees, feel ourselves in our bodies, feel our energy and appreciate it all... or else we’re wasting our time here.

His physical presence may no longer be with us, but his memory will continue to live forever inside our hearts and in our minds. I feel fortunate to know that the last thing I told him was “I love you” and this was the last thing he said to me. His memory will shine through me, his only son… and I will make him proud. His soul is free now, and he’s happy. He wants us to feel the same way. He’ll be watching and one day we’ll be together again. I love you very much, dad, always and forever. May you rest in peace.

07.16.47 – 02.11.09