Just wanted to let those who enjoy the Gargamel! and play the game Madden 10 know that Mandaddy provides some of the Voice overs for the game! Listen closely to the QB and the sideline chatter and you just may hear him! Actually if ya wanna, send a screen shot of the credits with his name if ya can cuz he hasn't seen it! He's also 4 voices on NASCAR Kart for the Wii but there's probably not a big crossover with Gargamel! and NASCAR. Or is there............

Well, most of the lyrics are in the CD's (good luck figuring out Revulva's though hehehe)
However I left em out of "Fields". So now I'm slowly (very slowly) adding them to Lyrics.com. Da Devil's Bawlz is up now with more to follow!   ENJOY!

MaltLiquorLove,
Mandaddy

I'a I'a Cthulhu

Hello children and "happy" whatever you celebrate! As we face the FEAR of this new year that you are being lead to believe will be "tough",  remember, perception can restrain or release! Don't let "them" make the choice for you! (and no I'm not talking about the new O-town King Diamond cover band!!)

As a gift of sopping deliciousness enjoy....THE UNSTOPPABLE EXODIA!!

this is just a rough mix of the home brewed experiment that SirVoh is slaving over! It's far from done but if ya like what ya hear let us know! There's more to come (like a Peter North clone Bukake party!!)

I now see that all problems can be resolved by the lyrics to the middle section of "Booee Machine"

They came to me as a sentient concept as I went to pee... 1st I heard...

"Pistol whipped my Grandmother last weekend on a whim!!"

on the way back the earth made me sing

"Went over to Auntie May's and vacuum packed her quimm!"

 

THIS IS TRUTH!!! wake up people!!!!

 

Alright, here we go again... Has anyone ever heard of a guarantee?! Defined as " an assurance for the fulfillment of a condition"?? Or as defined in the local music scene as "an amount a Promoter will promise you so you will show up, play, and then later take it in the ass!!". So here's the happs.... Tonight Gargamel! was set to play at the AKA Lounge (and this has nothing to do with the club itself or those who work there and/or run the place).... Gargamel!? on a Wednesday? Obnoxious to say so but it don't happen that often.....we don't play weekday shows for the most part...Why....weekends are when most people go out OK!!!! But we booked this show. Why?? The mystic "GUARANTEE"!!!!!!!!! $300 and free draft!! WOW we must think we are the fucking Rolling Stones for such a demand!!! Well, the fact that so many people balk at such a deal...really! We know how much draft costs you... but the main problem is...........

wait for it.....

"PROMOTERS"!!!!!!  please notice the quote marks.

Guess what...they are...for the most part...the CANCER that kills music!!!

Before you even get picked apart by the vultures that are the industry in general they are the TUMORS that CAN drag you DOWN!!

Allow me to preface...

YES, there are good promoters that are trying to do a good job, help the scene, and make a decent wage for the effort they put in.....

HOWEVER....

   What we have now is "promoters" that just book the show.....put a few flyers in the club...post a few Myspace posts...........Then TAKE MONEY FROM THE DOOR BECAUSE THEY promoted THE SHOW!!??!

FUCK THAT!!!

We had the aforementioned guarantee....show up....Oh no free draft.. 20 free drink tix..which would be fine....EXCEPT FOR THE GUARANTEE!!! Are we being primadonnas for asking for what we were PROMISED!! Really, 4 beers per member for Gargamel!?? HAVE YOU SEEN US!!! We drink!!

Then the "promoter" says, look at the crowd..I don't know if I can even pay you the guarantee..I'm not paying you out of my pocket???

REALLY?!? So guess what...WE LEFT!

For the first time in 16 fucking years Gargamel! walked out of a gig! Because the last 3 times we played there (a place we have had a great relationship with) we were fucked in a similar way. But tonight...NO! We apologize to anyone that actually came out to see us...but damnit!! Our asses have been widened enough!!

And the point is......if you are a "promoter" guess what a large part of your job should be....PROMOTING THE FUCKING SHOW!!!!! Contact the local media, put out flyers, run up and down I4 with a sandwich board, I don't care!! Don't just book the show, make promises and then reap the benefits off of artists that actually provide energy to the world....YOU FUCKING LEECHES!!!! If you are a promoter, and care about what you do and put your energy into the scene....without resorting to lies just to guarantee your own cut...THANK YOU!! But find who can help you...and not thoses that only hope to coat-tail surf their way to financial happiness. Bands...book yer shit with the club unless you know a "promoter' will help the process and ....I don't know....ACTUALLY PROMOTE THE FUCKING SHOW!!! NOT JUST TAKE A CUT SO THEY CAN ACT LIKE THEY'RE IN THE MUSIC INDUSTRY!!!!!

We have never backed out of a show on the spot like that but.....what would you do!!!!

And if you are a promoter this should make you mad....but not at me......

 

MaltLiquorLove,

Mandaddy

 

I'a I'a Cthulhu

  Oh my god yeah, Gargamel! is recording a new EP at the newest studio in town.....Da Haus o Mas!!!!  On the slate so far is the Unstoppable Exodia, Narcoleptic Snake Handler, Our Lips are Sealed by the GoGo's, a possible reDeux of Karate Summer and a brand new one tentatively titled Pirates of the Crimson Disco (I have NO idea what that song's gonna be about!?) We'll keep ya posted!!

I know you feel that there's something left to do

The last mission that's left for you

You what to know what is false or true

But now you're dead and you'll never know

Buck up my little soldier

Now you'll never grow older

I know that you feel colder

But now it's time to get up and go!

Do you see me?

Do you know!?

Do you know why life is never gonna give you a soul?

I can help you!

You are lost!

I know that the only thing you won't believe is the cost!!!

You are not the only one

It's (been) too long your time has come

Make them pay for what they've done

They'll never see and they'll never learn

I know that you're so ashamed

Wondering who is to blame

It can make you go insane

But now it's time to get up and go!!

Do you see me............

Your cup is full, but you are not

You hit your mark. take another shot

You rot away, you've got to see

Another piece that is left for me

It's not a soul, It's not a life

It's not your blood that I need tonight

Just give me all that I deserve

And pray to God he grades on a curve

 

You've come so far but there's so much more to do

Your eyes red but your skin is blue

They'll want to know what's come over you

But they're alive and they'll never know

Future is not heaven sent

Everyone is nourishment

Enemies and all your friends

They taste the same so you'll never know!

 

Do you see me.........................................

    Hi, we're Gargamel! A hot, new, young band on the scene and we're ready to make it happen! We've got the looks and the moves to make it and every song is radio ready!! Every chorus is easily identifiable and every lyric non-offensive! All the members of the band are as young and good looking as it gets. And luckily most people never listen to the songs due to the fact that they are enraptured by our good looks and hot bodies! Gargamel! is here to please the masses!!! Gargamel! is like a band composed of 5 Johnny Depp's....only hotter!!!! If you want pop tunes...They are your band!   If you want soft ballads.....They are your band!!!!  Gargamel! is ALL things to ALL people, and even more to MOST people! Does Gargamel! play for money!?! Hell no!!! 5 chicken wings and a slap on the ass is all the guarantee Gargamel! needs! Why the hell would a bunch of guys who have spent so much time making music and mayhem want money!?!?! Hell! It's like their singer would start a blog just because he's drunk and bitter!! That's not the Mel!'s way. They provide pleasing sounds to calm all the financially secure people so that they may feel safe in their financial security. Gargamel!, we do what we do so you can feel better about what you do!!!

So, I was just writing the new Gargamel! Bio........ I Hate That Shit!!! Yeah, I'm a fairly egotistical dick on stage, but to sit down and write a few paragraphs on why someone should like us, pay attention to us. go to a show, give us money or what fuckin ever, just makes me feel like a jackass! and I can do that to myself quite well thank you! I feel like the whole affair should be done with the same vocal subtilty of a used car commercial or a monster truck pull!!! FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY COME OUT AND SEE THESE FUCKIN IDIOTS SCREAM, SPIT BEER AND TALK ABOUT WEED!!!! WOO HOO!!! Sure I love to promote my band, but writing bios make me feel like a dweeb! Just had to bitch a lil! Well, back to my Gravity Bong, tall boy Natty Light and Food Network.....oh........by the way................

GO TO THE HOUSE OF BLUES FRI. AUG. 10TH TO SEE GARGAMEL!, MILKA, IGNID, AND CONFUSED LITTLE GIRL!!! JUST FUCKIN DO IT!!! GARGAMEL! GOES ON AT 10:30PM DON'T MISS IT!!!!!!!!!!

 

MaltLiquorLove,

Mandaddy

I'a I'a Cthulhu 

     So....there's a bar you haven't played at for almost 2 years. You had an O.K. time playing there last time... but it was kind of fucky and left a bit of a bad taste in your mouth....... so you don't play there.......And then, even after alot of your friends got fucked playing there.... someone gets in your ear. They tell you how much they want you to play there. And so against your best judgement.....you book a show.  You place some trust in those who say they LOVE what you do. Even though things change.....more bands and acoustic acts are added........they want you to play 2 sets..... and that is all O.K. until......YOU SHOW UP AND THERE IS NO FUCKING P.A. TO PLAY THROUGH!!! Sure you sent 3 emails to make sure there would be a P.A. and they said there would be one but nooooooooo. Then when you ask where the dude that booked the gig is , you learn he lives in Tallahassee (or Tampa). So What Do You Do???? We could have packed up and left. But We're Gargamel!, and we never phone it in. And so we played about and hour and 30 mins of the best shit we can throw out. SURE our keyboardist was playing through a bass amp.... SURE our singer was singing through ONE speaker.... But we rocked....as HARD as we could!!! and  what happens....Gee, can you guess!?!?!?! $150 for our efforts......AND AN $80 BAR TAB....."Hey sorry we fucked you and you still put on a great show but can we get back %60 of what you just made??? So guess what (see the Blues Brothers for the end of that story).......Fuck the  the Central Station!!!! Unless they can apologize FUCK EM!!!! And even if they do, (they haven't) no good band should EVER play there.  Don't let the fuckers fuck you!!!! I will show you the Emails to prove my point.

 

MaltLiquorLoathing,

Mandaddy!!!

FUCK THE FUCKING FUCKERS. ONLY IF ALL GOOD BANDS BAND TOGETHER CAN THIS SHIT END!!!!!