i was heavily considering altering my myspace page and filling it up with fake quotes which i would falsely attribute to isaac einstein and kurt vonnegut and whatever, but then i realized that my myspace page is actually the perfect, most absolute best myspage page on the face of the earth ever. 

so you guys should all pay more attention, take notes. scrutinize every detail.

love,
evan

ps in case anyone was wondering i am in modesto.  if you are too, maybe we should do something about it?

As you have already deduced from my use of an excerpt from LL COOL J’s magnum opus, "Goin Back to Cali," I am indeed returning to Los Angeles this fall, for real if not for good. I’ll be going to USC to learn about Chinese ghosts and historic murderers for two years. After that who knows!

Anyway, rest assured that if I didn’t get a chance to see you on my all too brief new year’s visit, you will have many moons to get sick of me again come fall. Get ready to buy me a huge burrito, losers!

so my computer ended its own life the other day.  he was a hard working man and a good friend but unfortunately eventually death takes its toll on even the most established members of the community

hopefully its digital soul has traipsed off to peng lai and is cavorting with revered appliances and gadgets of yore.

or perhaps i'll lug the lifeless corpse down town and see if i can find a dedicated technician to breathe some new life in.  probably not gonna happen.

what about all my illegally downloaded mp3s though guys?

 

anyway this means my chinese blog has been unfortunately shortlived, look for a sequel in the future.  additionally i will be relegated to email checking once daily or even less regularly depending on the reliability of the NTNU library computers.  if you decide to write to me, be patient and look inwards and a response will come.  i know you can do it.

 

i just realized this is the first time in years i'm missing the oscars.  i even saw it last year! but this year i haven't seen any of the movies (except no country for old men yesterday, which was good) so oh well.

 

long weekend in thailand starting tomorrow.  full report imminent?

new blog, to be updated occasionally in chinese and semi-occasionally in english

feel the power

the year of the rat is upon us

the power of eastern mysticism

just a quick two things

1. i put up some new pics on flickr you guys check'em out

2. i'm gonna be in america for the usa holidays of christmas and new years.  i'll be in modesto from the 22-27 and la from the 28-03 or something.  if you are reasonably certain that i think you are cool and you live in one of those places, send me an email? and buy me a burrito?  friends?

see you soon everybody, my soul is on fire for u america ^_^

why doesn't anyone ever post comments? it makes me self-conscious.

So first a bit of news, in case I haven't thoroughly broadcasted it across the internet yet:  I'm coming back to California for Christmas!  I'm so incredibly stoked to go on vacation to my motherland, all those in LA and modesto please mark your calendars in the areas previously labelled "Christmas" and "New Years."

Next... I've been having some kind of personal epiphany lately, I feel it is somewhat necessary to comment on it in some form.  The factors that have inspired it are sort of amusing too, so maybe that will redeem this blog.

In Taiwan, political discussions are inevitable.  Not necessarily with local Taiwanese people, but with other foreigners.  In the process of understanding the complicated happenings both locally and internationally (with regards to Taiwan and China) I have gotten into all manner of near-arguments with lots of close friends.  It's interesting because I find myself taking a different perspective every time it comes up--sometimes I am a passionate, Pro Taiwan Independence anti-communist liberationist, other times a jaded Sinophile with no opinion other than the assumed knowledge that Taiwan will one day succumb to the might of the Middle Kingdom.  I find myself getting more and more absurdly fervent about these polarized ideas whenever they came up, so I decided it was time I actually sat down and thought about what I actually believed.

Last year around this time, the city was ablaze with anti-Chen Shui Bian demonstrators, clad in fiery red and making a huge ruckus every single night.  To a recently arrived foreigner with a very poor command of the language, these marches were utterly confounding.  I had no idea why these people were so vehemently opposed to the president, and I assumed people's reluctance to give me a clear explanation was a symptom of a political apathy epidemic. 

Today the red shirts have disappeared, the only reminder of the protests being a few "Depose!" stickers slapped on fenceposts and traffic lights, untarnished by a year of typhoons and smog.   I still don't really understand what it was all about, but have since realized that it is not necessarily political apathy that created the mystery, but genuine confusion.  The factors that led to last year's fervor are many, and none of them really stand alone as an explanation. 

Whatever the case may be, this year deposing the president is out and UN membership for Taiwan is in.  I haven't even begun to dip into the chaos that is trying to understand the various local viewpoints on this issue, and the demonstrations are not nearly as plentiful or noisy, but there is still a pretty unavoidable display of signage--all of it exclusively in English--advocating Taiwan's entry into the UN with a few really amazing slogans.

My favorite is the title of this blog, printed on a gargantuan banner hung atop the equally mammoth Taipei train station, declaring "UN for Taiwan--Peace Forever!"

What I'm interested here is not the first part, which is a really complicated problem, one complicated enough that even the most ideal solution is still far more complicated than the second part.  But that's what I'm interested in.

Inspired by the simple audaciousness of this interesting propaganda (which, being in English, is essentially targeted directly at me), I've decided to readapt a stance of complete political idealism towards every subject.  Just before the Iraq War began in 2003 I was at the peak of my liberal fury, gleefully attending protest marches amidst pouring rain in downtown LA, chanting with the hope that my voice, uneducated and idealistic as it may have been, would be heard by someone along with the millions of others and somehow stop the inevitable from happening.  It didn't.

After that I became pretty disillusioned about politics.  There's a word in Chinese that means "realistic," and has many of the same connotations as the English equivalent, but carries an additional layer of negativity.  Someone who is "realistic" in this way only thinks about material gain.  Not to the point of being selfish or egotistical, but it is someone who has a tendency to think about matters perhaps a little too practically.  If you could apply this word to political thinking (I'm not sure if you can) I think that would describe a lot of people in the world right now.  They don't really have inferior moral ability or lack of judgment, nor are they going to rush to support a politician they can see is an obvious crook, but there seems to be a resurgance in the concept that if you want to get things done, you have to play by the rules, advancing your views sensibly with your dollars and your votes. 
I'm actually OK with this, most of the time.  For other people.  But I've been realizing lately that its really hard for me to accept that.  Much in the way I continue to attempt to believe everything I hear, I've decided that the best personal perspective on politics I can have is one of complete naivety and idealism.  What do I want?  Peace.  When do I want it? Forever.  That's all.

And really, it is a kind of realistic thinking that has inspired this.  I can believe what I want, and the world will probably still continue down the same path.  If  I was a neo-nazi Jihadist anti-communist vegan, national and international politics would remain largely unaffected.  So why not choose peace?  If I'm really being honest with myself, and not just thinking about how to win arguments and make myself look smart, that's all I can really think of anyway.  I really do just want everyone in the world to shout at the same time, then sit down on the floor and look at the sky for awhile.  That's my greatest ambition in life.  That's what I would do if I was in charge of the world.  Beyond that I wouldn't really have any advice to offer.

I saw a documentary the other day on a bunch of acid heads living in Laguna Beach in the 60's and 70's.  They made a bunch of really potent LSD, hung out, got into charming scuffles with the local police, and maintained a lot of really unfeasible political ideals.  I never thought about what the Learyism "Turn on tune in and drop out" actually meant, other than an advocation for drug use, but hearing it explained by one of his opponents in this documentary, I think I actually get it now.  I guess it's a kind of agressive apathy, a means through which to display your lack of support for the system by just refusing to acknowledge it altogether.  I wonder what has happened to that attitude today.  It seems to have been replaced by well-meaning college kids taking to the streets with petitions and signs, and a separate group of apathetics without any explanation for their apathy other than "it's too hard to change the system, so why bother."

I'm tired of that.  What I want is a global movement demanding absolutely absurd things from our leaders.  American needs a Rhinoceros Party for the 21st century (google it kids!!) and I'm really disappointed that we've yet to create anything like that.  I want million man marches in DC to get lemonade drinking fountains installed in elementary schools.  I want a national rock music holiday, a federally funded nationwide party, and for dinosaurs (all of them) to replace the bald eagle as our national mascot.  And I want peace forever.

The 7th month of the lunar calendar began yesterday, meaning we're now in Ghost Month.  This is the time when ghosts of all shapes sizes and eras return to the earth for a little while to snack and avenge themselves and do other ghost-appropriate things like that.

The event culminates with the ghost festival, this year on the 26th of August, celebrated in Taiwan with the literal opening of the gates of hell.  It's exciting to think about, even though I'm not sure exactly what that means to Chinese people.

August and September have always been weird months for me, usually because of drastic relationship issues, new school year beginning, moving to a new city or something like that.  This year is probably the weirdest of them all, and its not strange because of what IS changing, but because of what isn't.  I'm sure all of you who read this know by now, but I'm staying in Taiwan for probably another year.  I could write for pages about this but that's not really why I've decided to update this blog today... if you're curious about what I'm going to be doing and why I have been able to resist the lure of Leo's Tacos, just gimme an email...

So staying in Taiwan has given me this weird sense of stability, but it has been all but destroyed by the difficulties of arranging residency and employment and new housing.  It's on the verge of being taken care of, though, which is great.  This is combined with the fact that practically everyone I know here has left or is going to leave Taipei soon.  It has been a long chain of goodbyes.  There lots of people I know I will see again, a few I know I won't, and a few that I'm really not sure about.

That this is happening during ghost month seems strangely appropriate to me.  While everyone here is celebrating and stressing out about all of these ghosts coming back, I'm doing the same thing about people who are about to leave.  Not to equate leaving Taiwan with dying, but in a way all of these people are turning into ghosts to me, memories that will follow me around the streets of this city for a while, probably throughout the rest of Ghost Month and beyond. 

If you are a Los Angeleno who had the misfortune of having to listen to me explain every half baked comic book or science fiction novel that I obsess over, you might remember that I have a special theory about what makes ghosts and what they're after.  To me, a ghost is an imprint formed by memory so strong that it refuses to disappear after death.  It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with  spiritualituality, it is just the residue left behind by a powerful mind after it ceases to exist physically.  People use a variation on this idea often; that a person's spirit will become a ghost if that person has unfinished business in the world.  The ghost will hang around until that task is completed... pretty basic ghost theory.

I think other things can make ghosts, too.  My pet idea was a world in which people's ghosts hung around on earth not to avenge themselves or wail about injustice, but just because their minds had become too addicted to the pleasures of the material world.  In my imagination there is a crowd of ghosts huddled around every television in the world, bundles of mental energy tied to every meaningful object in the world.  I know a lot of religions that I admire say that people are supposed to overcome this kind of attachment and desire.  I don't know how important that is, but I think I am right about what happens if you don't.

Chinese ghosts are a bit like this.  Even though they don't get to come out very  often, when they do they delight in the joy of consumption just like everyone else.  People set up tables of food and burn money (not just during ghost month, but for many different holidays throughout the year) for ghosts to eat and use.  Ghosts like to eat marshmellow pies, Ritz crackers, fruit, and other normal things.  To Buddhists I think these Hungry Ghosts are pathetic creatures; necks too small to eat enough but bellies too big to ever be satisfied.  They are embodiments of desire and I guess you transform into a Hungry Ghost if you are too greedy in your life.

But I don't think most people see it that way.  Ghosts might be a little bit scary, but I haven't got the impression that I'm supposed to look down on them for wanting to eat a few oranges and chocolate bars even though they are dead.  After all many people seem more than willing to provide the ghosts with pretty lavish meals.  I kind of want to set up my own ghost table with a little ghost movie theater and maybe a nintendo for them to play.  I bet there are some ghosts out there that would appreciate that.

Maybe this is representative of a culture that celebrates gluttony, greed, and consumption.  But I don't think its that serious.  We're just trying to be polite to these ghosts, after all many of them are our ancestors and it wouldn't be very fillial if they were to show up on our doorstep without a meal waiting. What would the neighbors think?

However you weigh it morally, and I try my best not to in situations like this, I think it is OK to be kind of thrilled by the thought of all these ghosts filling the streets.  If they are greeted satisfactorily, maybe their presence will even make up for the fact that so many of my real friends aren't going to be here. I hope they'll get along with all these ghosty memories that'll be wandering around, too.

it was awesome

i love everyone
love,
evan

p.s. can someone who lives in la tell me whether or not Jesus appeared and produced 1,000 doves over echo park on saturday?  i need to know this for statistical purposes

Before I left for Taiwan I made some vague threats about inviting everyone I know to come to China later this year.  I haven't forgotten about it, and I've been meaning to issue a more formal ultimatum about the matter for awhile.  Though I don't have any definite details yet, I'd like to mention the idea one more time just to get an idea of who would actually be interested in this type of thing.

My permission to live on the lovely island of Taiwan ends August 27th.  My last day of class is August 24th.  That means sometime between those dates I will be catching a plane to Hong Kong, and hanging out there for as long as it takes me to get a visa to enter Red China.  My ideal plan is to stay there for about a month; heading back to the free world late September/early October.  I'm inviting, no, begging, anyone and everyone (seriously: Modesto, Los Angeles, all parts in between, EVERYONE) I know and love to come with me for part of or all of that time period.  It would be especially nice to have someone to come back to the States with, as I'll probably be feeling somewhat melancholy/terrified at that time.

I'm having an incredible life here in Taiwan, but I haven't forgotten how much I love everyone back home!  My real reason behind doing this is not just to show off to everyone the meager sentences of Mandarin I've learned, but to somehow integrate my life in this half of the world with my life in the other half.  And hell, even though I haven't even been there myself, maybe if you guys see China with me you'll be able to better understand why I've made the completely irrational decision to devoting the rest of my life to this crap.

Anyway, there is no "itinerary" to speak of, but the places I really want to see are mostly in western China.  Yunnan is a province that borders Viet Nam and other Southeast Asian countries, and is known for its lovely weather, intense jungles, a cool and diverse population, and some mystical temples and stuff.  Sichuan is near there too, it's where spicy food comes from.  These are my main targets, and would be pretty easy to get to from Hong Kong.  More ambitious would be to try to go further north to Xinjiang, home of some Muslim guys and more crazy food.  Also silk road stuff (yea!) and, in neighboring Gansu province, some caves full of "old school" Buddhist art.  This area is basically an inhospitible desert, populated mainly by worms that can kill you just by looking at you, and would require many hours of travel to get to, but it would be worth it.

Other possible destinations include Luoyang, where the Shaolin Temple is (AWESOME) and some other temples of interest and Xian, where all the terracotta warrior guys are (both Central/East-ish); and of course Shanghai and Suzhou (apparently the Venice of China and home to some really, really famous gardens).

There's also a sleepy little town that is called Beijing or Peiping or Peking or something, it's not very popular so I can never remember the name.  And someone told me something about some wall that's really great?  I don't know what they were talking about though.

Anyway, the temporary plan is to leave from Beijing, possibly with another stop over in Japan (Nicoll Johnsons?).  So for the sake of neatness lets say the first two weeks would be aiming for Yunnan and Sichuan, and the second two would be... other stuff.  I realize China is a big country and transportation takes time, so all of these destination ideas are kind of informal and overambitious.  I'd also be happy to just spend the whole month in and around Beijing, I'm sure.

Plane tickets would be around 1000 bucks, which sucks.  The one benefit you guys have would be the ability to arrange a visa before you get here (I think? I have no idea how this stuff works), while I would have to hang out in Hong Kong for a couple days to get it done there.

But I really am serious about this.  I've been chatting on and off with some of you guys about this, so this post doesn't contain too much new info that's not pure fantasy, but I hope it has been informative.

Sorry to be ostracizing non-myspacers from this message; it's not my intention.  If you see this and know someone I know that perchance doesn't read my myspace blog (losers) then please tell them about it.  I know there may be many of these types, but one of my main targets for this missive is one Matthew C. Magana, and I have no idea if he is surfing the web these days or what.  Hopefully someone will read this who has some means to contact him (Ryan?)?

So!  If you have any interest in this, and think you can actually do it, please send me an email/message/whatever with the dates that you'd have open, so I can get an idea of how this should actually work?  Also questions, comments, love letters, all welcome.  You know how to reach me.