So, only two more exams and I might be able to breath again! Alas as most know I have been pretty AWOL- sorry these tests are killing me. Then when my external harddrive crashed with my final film on it like a day before it was due I was very unhappy. It took three people and a classmate who works as a tech to disassemble the damn thing and make it work. It DID THOUGH! No failing for me! Mwahahaha. Plus I finished ALL my frakking essays. I may just survive school yet and I better because well i've been doing this too damn long. Yes, I know I changed my major and that was my fault but I am really really really tired now. Tired. Maybe tonight's Star Trek will help. Yes, I think it will.

OMG. OMG. This is the greatest day ever!!! It however started last night when the day receptionist Kellie as me if she could work my schedule for today because she need some hours since she was out sick. I said sure because my mom and grandmother wanted to take me to this huge book fair in Glendale anyway and I really wanted to go (cheap books in bulk I am there!). The most amazing thing happened, hunkered over a book full of vampire books (I have a type when it comes to books) my eyes fluttered across a cover with a large white hand print it caught my eye. I looked at the author and thought hmm Kim Harrison. Wait what? I read the title and it said White Witch, Black Curse. I thought this isn't possible White Witch, Black Curse isn't out until the 24th, it can't be. It was! What I had stumbled across what an uncorrected proof not for sale that the publisher sends out to well I do not know who it is even numbered it is 297 of 400 of such galley copies. Now I know that the resale of these numbered galley's is prohibited it says so on the cover. I also know that it was very bad of me to facilitate this madness- but it was right there at the bottom of a vampire box for $3.00!!!!!! I had to save it from this horrible place. Save it I did. I am not sure if I can actually bring myself to read it before the book streets I am still feeling a little naughty for buying it but I feel I had to save it from those who would do evil like leak it to the internet (and there was a demand a girl nearly took my head off when she heard me tell my mom I had found it and she began ravenously began digging through boxes as if there would be another one). That isn't all I got of course I have a nice wonderful stack of things like Buffy and Xena books some Ann Rice. I mostly bought old stuff that was significant to fandom or looked like a good read. All and all it was a blast-- and no I won't tell you what happens in White Witch, Black Curse- buy the book on the 24th lol.
..


THE book




My spoils of war..

So, today has been like a combination of the greatest and worst day of my life. My laptop is near death. It is on its last little crutchy leg. Last night I though that it had in fact died and well I freaked. After all, my whole life is on here and I really hadn't been very diligent about backing stuff up not to mention right now it is the only computer I have that accesses my internet since my ex-boyfriend set up the wireless router and I never bothered to attempt to decrypt it and add my desktop. As of right now my laptop is not totally dead I can still use it but the touch pad and two buttons at the bottom are caput luckily my stepfather dropped off my USB mouse and I can function with that for a bit. However, as I tried to fuck around with the wireless I managed to totally screw it all up and now not even my laptop is recognizing the internet even when I plug the modem into it! That could be because this is dying of course but I am still going GRRRRRR! I have my grandmother picking up another wireless router for me while I am here at work (where my wireless still works) I am going to try starting from scratch on both computers. However, this means that I am going to have to replace Jared (my laptop) a lot sooner than I had hoped. Like within the next few weeks which mean my plans for England are pretty much foobarred. My mom said she would pitch in my birthday money to help replace my laptop which is nice but I still hate when she pays for my stuff. However, it will be helpful. Alas, my desktop will be enough to keep me going through school until the laptop comes in but lets face it I need to be portable because I am home maybe six hours a day and I tend to like sleeping through those. I can't wait to do my homework til I get home I will be up all night! This hasn't been a completely rotten day though today I directed my very first short film and it fucking rocks! omg, I am shocked at how good it is. The assignment was a one minute silent film expressing one of the four main emotions anger, fear, happy, sad. I chose fear. I don't have a digital copy of the film yet (but trust me I am getting it and I am posting it everywhere but I can give you the premise. A guy (my partner from class Joey) getting stalked by a David Bowie action figure. That's right bitches Jareth is calling him out. Oh god its great. the first scene is Joey sitting on a bench reading a comic book (the Death arc of Sandman if you must know) and he looks down and there's Bowie, then he's in the library looking for a book, he takes a book of the shelf and there's Bowie, then he is trying to run away so he runs to the camera and stops there's Bowie, so he runs away flailing. The final image is a the cut close up on Bowie and fade to black. OMG its so funny. We both nearly peed watching it and oh lord the looks we got filming it lol. Well, I guess it is not normal to walk around with a camera and a Jareth doll. They should be glad I didn't stick with the Rumba vacuum cleaner in the script (those things really freak me out). So, that was good. Tomorrow I have to go back and act in Joey's film, he has a lot of great ideas so it is probably going to be a blast.

So, I have spent the day reliving my childhood obsession Buffy the Vampire Slayer and first and foremost I MISS THIS SHOW! I forgot what I rush it was to watch. I started by watching the Once More With Feeling but I have progressed to watching the entire series in order. I am currently at What's My Line Part 2. Which is hilarious since my grandmother is marathonning Bones season three so in my room its loads of David time, going in the living room more David time. However, my heart truly belongs to Spike (ah, James you're old enough to be my dad and I'd still shag you till we couldn't rock). What I find the most interesting about watching this show now that I am in my twenties as opposed to my early teens when it aired is I truly appreciate the vulnerability of the Buffy character in a way I never did before. Having grown up I truly appreciate the fact that despite its science fiction and mythology aspect Joss made a point to say, "Hey, growing up is hard- no matter who you are." In fact, rewatching Prophecy Girl was heartbreaking in watching a young girl who really has to come to terms with not only the pressures of the outside world constantly guiding you in directions you are not always comfortable with but her own mortality, and defining her moral code. Its beautiful that combination of fear and hope. Its something you don't need to be a Slayer to understand. So, my hats off the Buffy the Vampire Slayer the beginning of Joss verse and my second true tv love (because well, the X-Files was my first). I'd love to hear what everyone else has to say about Buffy (or even Angel) or any other television shows that really define your youth and helped you brave adolescence.

Guten Tag my dear friends, so I am back from a La La Land vacation where I lost all track of time. Honestly, I had no idea what day it was till I got dropped at the curb at the airport lol. It was wonderful though, I got to spend some quality time with my family, did a little shopping (thank you Dad), and a lot of thinking. Mostly thinking about the new year and all I want to accomplish in it and also thinking about the past (which is depressing so no more). Now, its back to real life and that yucky thing called work. Hope everyone had a great holiday!

So, although originally off to a rocky start on Christmas Eve I found the the holiday has really done me well. Although I pulled a shift at Michaels (were I have been pulling holiday second job duty) wasn't too bad and afterward I got to go home and see the family (except my sisters who were in Georgia), Christmas morning was shared with my parents, my grandmother, and my brother in law who was also alone this Christmas (with me being the only unattached sibling and my older sister being in Georgia for her ICE training). It was great though, we watched The Dark Knight and Mama Mia and ate way too much(as should be done on every good holiday). Made out like a bandit also- I have the DKNY watch I have been eyeing for months but couldn't get up the courage to buy myself and I love it. Now, I am just trying to fall asleep because I have a to get on a plane tomorrow and head to Cali for another Xmas with my Dad (which I haven't done in a while and can't wait for). Then after that I am just biding my time till the New Year. I expect great things to come! Hope everyone had an equally wonderful holiday, got all they wanted, and are wishing they didn't eat that last piece of pie. I will see you when I get back. 

Last night was Spring Awakening and well I am still reeling! As the tickets were a birthday present for my grandmother I was happily surprised to discover that the tickets I had purchased were in the 2nd! Row! As in one row from the stage! I could see the lines on the actors faces (as if 20 year olds have lines lol) and more importantly Kyle Riabko's  (what a lovely boy) bum during certain adult content scenes (what? what? He's legal). I have to say this play was a truly extraoridnary specticle because it really drove home philosophies I have been spouting for years, including the fact that I believe that the taboo nature of certain subjects weigh heavy on young minds who without education on sexuality, sexual responsibility, and quite frankly how to make the transition from a child to an adult are deterimental to our youth. It is because of this lack of comminucation that we find our children looking for their sexual education in dangerous and often embaressing ways (prosta-tots anyone?). With open communication and dialogue children one would not feel that sexuality is a form of rebellion and two would be better armed in the appropriateness of sexual acts and the pressures they face in regards to them. On a less serious note the music of Duncan Shiek was breathtaking, speaking to my grandmother after the show I asked her what her favorite song was and she replied with the simple candor she always has, "That fucked song." (BTW, Totally Fucked was also my favorite song) She explained that everyone has felt that way where you know you are totally fucked and wish you could just dissapear. I also feel that that actors were very brave for taking on such heavy subject and Kyle and the actress playing Wendela were very brave for getting pretty much naked on stage and simulating sex in front of a large house, I truly respect that decision for if nothing else the dialogue it opens about nudity (trust me my grandmother and I had a conversation and granted we are very open and candid about everything but I can imagine even the most conservative family would have to chat about that). I have seen many plays in my life but this play held me captive from beginning to end, I laughed, I cried- a lot, and by the end I just couldn't help but sit there and think, "Thank you! Thank you for getting it right and understanding youth." Bravo all around, next on my list Rent!

So, you now all you know the story of Delta and the awesome that spawned but you are not going to believe this but life continues to rock out. So, first there was me discovering my unnatural talent for purchasing designer fashion at ridiculously cheap prices seriously. I purchased a White House/ Black Market sequin skirt which retails for $128 for $23!!!! Then of course there was the Greatest Day of My Life, or as I like to call it "The All (Well, Most) Of My Dreams Come True I Meet My Idol and Film a International Commercial in HOLLYWOOD!" as you all have seen the pictures from, and now I fear a meteor may fall and crush me because for once in my life ASU was actually helpful to me. I know don't have a heart attack. I was on the phone with my mom talking to her about what we want to get my grandmother for her birthday on the 8th and both agreed we had no idea what so ever. Well, lo and behold outside the MU I noticed a table that had a Spring Awakening poster. Now I watched the Tony's this past year and was blown away by SA performance and really wanted to see this play. Guess what Gammage is discounting PITT SEATING to $50 for ASU students!! $50!! For the front row. I mean holy crap right. So, I bought two tickets and now I am psyched to give them to her, I think we will have a blast and I am happy to take her with me. I don't know maybe its the fact that I watched Gossip Girl til midnight (I love me some Chuck Bass) or maybe its the fact that I watched Breakfast at Tiffany's this morning and I love my outfit because Banana Republic is sooo comfy and I am wearing my grandmothers earings which look lovely with my Urban Outfitters double strand necklace but I am in a stellar mood. Plus, it keeps getting better. Thank you life for trying to be nice. I guess maybe its just me trying to lighten up, be happy, and do what I like and find what I love and its working so far. So, no more hiding from the world. I am back, and well its better than ever if I say so myself because I am ready to be fabulous. 

So here is my story on how Thursday progressed. I had seen the posting for the Delta meet and greet on the Myspace and figured, LA why not? Its only six hours away and for Delta hell of course I would do that, plus I wasn't going to win anyway. Then I did. Wasn't that a shock and then I realized that the next day I would have to drive six hours to Hollywood! So, I brought my friend Skye (who also did not have to work that day) and said lets do it. Long, boring drive short we did. Well, we had been operating on the knowledge that this would be having a meet and greet and she would sing us a couple songs. Wrong! We were going to be in her Proactive commercial which was going to air internationally!!! Holy crap right. Delta was amazing, actually to call her amazing is like saying being told you are going to be in an international commercial spot is just kind of cool. The only downside to the whole experience (including the six hour drive back to Phoenix at night, we didn't get in til 6:30 in the morning then I had to go to work at 11 and wasn't off till 9!) was that I am SOOOO SICK right now! I mean sick. Probably from sitting out in the Hollywood cold for six hours waiting for that last shot. But I am not complaining, I will take the misery for knowing I experienced the greatest day of my life. Honestly, I am a little delirious with sick and sleep deprivation here at work but I hope these sentences make sense on the page as they do in my head. If not I am sorry. Why don't I just quiet down and show you some pictures.

V.
(for the silhouettes)

Tread lightly and leave not but a trace
Be forgettable in ways and face
Build a wall around this broken heart
And perhaps we can make a brand new start

You have tasted deepest darkest pain
You have shouldered burden with wisdom gained
Retreat into stoned castle walls
Strengthen reserve for further falls