I wrote this a few months ago, and I’m just deciding to share it here. I recommend reading it twice for complete comprehension. Enjoy.




"She Wants It"

She had a burning desire for it, an ever growing need for it.
She would get down on her knees and plead for it
She said that she would love it if she had him in her life
The air would be much fresher and better days would be in sight

Often she would beg for him to make it rain on her head
She didn’t care when she asked, during the day or at night before bed
Sometimes she would lie on her back, ready to receive it
He didn’t come like she wanted him to, but her pleas never receded

She wanted him to come and put her in the best positions
She wished that he would do his thing, and put her into submission
Her friends had always told her about the things that he could do
But she started to get impatient, and wondered if they were even true

She got back down on her knees again, begging him to feel it
Saying that she wanted to feel everything, forbidding him to conceal it
She reaffirmed her belief in him, there was no more second guessing
He finally gave her what she had been praying for, he gave her a...blessing

©2008 E. Christian Wallace

It’s been forever since I’ve posted one of these, but I was tagged by Mo Hotness to list ten things that people may not know about me. Let me try this.

1. I’m currently addicted to Snickers bars.
2. I like to eat cold oranges.
3. I have a cat
4. I like to take pictures
5. I like to write.
6. I am not an only child.
7. I can’t swallow pills.
8. I have a slight addiction to sesame chicken
9. Judge Mathis is my favorite tv judge.
10 I have a blog that you should visit at http://www.mannywallace.com

"Impatience"

I'm tired of standing at the door and knocking politely
Only for no one to answer, I think that they don't like me
It might be...that they do all this just to spite me
Everyone was all loud at first but now they're talking so lightly
That's okay, I'll knock once more before I put my plan into action
To make a way for me and mine, and get some satisfaction
Lets make it happen, I got my black gloves and my black hat
A black jacket, beat up black boots, and a black bat

I guess you can say that I'm dressed for the occasion
Armed with my desire and a few tools of persuasion
I rang the bell this time, instead of knocking on the door
Someone came to check the peephole and I kicked it to the floor
"I'm in", I thought as they scattered screaming in fear
I came with an agenda and I had to make it clear
They offered me a few dollars, hoping that would be the end of it
But no, I'm here for stock options and the benefits
I sensed a bit of resistance, so I start taking some swings
With the bat, ruining so many of their precious things

I'm usually not like this, blame it on angst and a little bit of frustration
Plus a feeling of hopelessness and a lack of motivation
Maybe if I cut back on my intake of libations
Then I could be back on my way to finding inspiration
I'm like a martyr, dying for the world to accept me
At times it feels like everyone is living except me

Well who am I? I'm just a brotha with dreams
Who's been pulled and tugged so much I fall apart at the seams
And it seems...that when I even get close to these things
A strong wind comes by and blows it all to smithereens
So again, I'm sorry for damaging all of this property
But I have a goal in mind and nobody is stopping me.

©2008 E. Christian Wallace 

I wrote this a few months ago, but I just decided to post it for no particular reason other than to just post something. I hope you enjoy it.

"I Used To Be Important"

I used to be important, never thought I'd be a flash in the pan
But I don't get paid for thinking, so here is where I stand
Abandoned, alone...no longer worthy of a special ringtone
This was something that I'd thought I have and now that some thing's gone
My mind's blown

This newfound existence is so bland
Especially considering I had the spice of life right here in my hands
And although I can not say that I truly understand
I do try to respect the move, as part of being a man
They say without a struggle, there will be no progress
Yeah, I guess
Alls I know is that my thought process is a mess

So, yeah it's a struggle..between my desire and common sense
She hit me with that fire and I ain't been common since
I used to atop of everything, on top of the list
Nowadays, I have to wonder if I even exist
It's the pits...
Sometimes I wanna holler and throw up both my hands in a fit
But that ain't gon' change a thang so I pour up and I sit

Then I sip
On something straight with a proof no lower than ninety
I'm off in another world, where not a soul can find me
To consequently remind me, of how I haven't been treated kindly
Perhaps I need to keep moving forward and put those memories behind me

Maybe not two-day, but one day you will see
That the most important thing on your docket should have been me.

frame /fre?m/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[freym] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation noun, verb, framed, fram·ing.

1.  a border or case for enclosing a picture, mirror, etc.
2.  a rigid structure formed of relatively slender pieces, joined so as to surround sizable    empty spaces or nonstructural panels, and generally used as a major support in building or engineering works, machinery, furniture, etc.
3. a body, esp. a human body, with reference to its size or build; physique: He has a large frame.
4. a structure for admitting or enclosing something: a window frame.

As you can see, the word "frame" has many definitions. What I've listed above represents only a fraction of definitions for the word. I wrote this one day while reflecting on a series of unfortunate events that have happened to someone close to me. Trouble always seems to rear it's ugly head at the most inopportune time. I trust that things will work themselves out, but I was compelled to write. So, henceforth...

"The Frame"
I was staring at her frame, she's a pillar of persistence
I've always admired the way she handles things with seemingly infinite resistance
It's seems as if she has butterfingers...and can hardly catch a break
And as soon as she clears one hurdle, another one takes it's place
Despite minor setbacks, I knew there was no stoppin' her
Even back in the days when I did my thing on top of her
She was always driven, making the best of what she was given
Doing what works for her as she tried to carve out a living
It seemed like if everything felt right, then something had to be wrong
Time after time, this became a recurring theme song
But she managed, continuing to move ahead at full steam
Carefully maneuvering around any obstacles trying to derail her from her dream
I'm taking another look at her frame, and to me..what it represents...
Is a desire, a goal, an objective, hard work, and time well spent
Butter pecan ice cream sometimes takes away the sting and leaves some of the pressure alleviated
She's managed to juggle so many things, at times it's hard to believe that she's even made it...
As far as she has come, she could have quit a long time ago
But that's just not her style, she's always moving..and still has time to go
She's on her way to the bar, but not with the intent of drinking
But moreso to prove herself and to test her ways of thinking
She's persevered through many challenges and a myriad of woes
A couple of bullshit associates and a few not-so well wishing foes
She's gone now, but from here to there my support remains the same
I know that she'll be okay, and I know this all simply by looking at her frame.

Two weeks from today will be my 26th birthday. I'm not too excited about it or anything like that. I never really do that much for my birthday, nothing extravagant anyways. I'm not even big on gifts, although they are welcomed. The past couple of years I've gotten nice presents that I've appreciated and still use. I'm not looking for anything this year, but if someone has some cash burning a hole in their pocket--I'd like an iPod or a tripod. I'm not a well man nowadays. I find the greatest comfort in my music and taking pictures..along with my writing.

So yeah, I'm getting older..and unfortunately a bit disgusted. I've never really lived up to my expectations, mine or anyone elses. It's beginning to eat away at my psyche--just a smidge. I'm becoming a bit more lethargic than usual. My attention span is rapidly waning. I find myself being a little more irritable nowadays as well. I really don't care for these feelings at all, so I guess I'm going to have to do something about them.

Sometimes I feel like I'm doing things I should have done and making mistakes I should have made when I was 21 or 22. Time to be a bit more mature and adult about things. I know that seems like a redundancy, but it really isn't. I think I have all the tools I need, I just have to figure out a way to assemble this scattered life of mine. The directions are lost somewhere, so I'll have to play it by ear. It might take me a few tries but I'll get it together.

I have to, right? I mean...I will be 14 days older, after all...

Last night, I went to Black Pearl Poetry at the Brownstone on Main, here in Columbus, Ohio. While I didn't initially have any intention on reading that night, a few folks suggested that I should. What I ended up reading was a short piece that I wrote called "Medicine Cabinet". When I initially wrote it, I was simply referring to a person who's not in my life as much anymore. However, as I continued to read over it..I started to see a few other things in the piece. It was almost as if I was saying that I was developing an alcohol dependence or something. That's not the case, just something I picked up on. Perhaps you will, perhaps you won't...in anycase:

I'm so sick, congested with the mucus of life.
I'm trying to bring it up and I've been coughing all night.
Actually, I've been sick for months…some days good, some days bad.
But nowadays, it seems like these are the worst days I've ever had.
Things used to be much simpler, and even though I can't swallow pills…
I'd take a sip of this elixir and away went all of my chills
But that's not the case anymore, my headaches are strong and persistent
And it seems like no matter what I take, the pains are still resistant
I find myself sulking in disgust….and writhing in agony
I'm hiding from the world because I don't want them to laugh at me
But it's okay, I'll deal with things the way I usually do
I'll hide out until I feel better, and no one will have the slightest clue…
Of how sick I truly am; it's more than a common cold but nowhere near the flu
I'm somewhere in the middle and I'm not really sure what to do
I used to have a physician of sorts, seeing them made it so easy
But nowadays it seems like the physician rarely sees me
To even get an appointment, I would have to cross my fingers and knock on wood
Only for me to find out that my HMO is no good.
But I understand…the practice is in process of shutting down
The operation's ceasing and moving away to another town
New patients, new office…bigger and better facilities
I'm all for the improvement, but at the same time, the shit is killin' me
I really miss my physician, sometimes I start to call out of habit
Just to see if there's an open spot and if so...maybe I can grab it
All these other physicians keep showing up, but I'm just not havin' it
I guess for now, I'm stuck with what's in my medicine cabinet.

A few nights ago, I was sitting here, eating at my desk. The environment was a bit more quiet than usual. There was no television on, no music playing, and I wasn't even paying attention to the computer. It was just silent..a man and his meal. It reminded me of times when I would see my mother, father, or uncle eating at the kitchen table. I'd always watch from a distance, and it would always seem as if while they were eating..that was all that mattered. All prior worries were put on hold, and there were no concerns about what the future would bring. It's something so simple, but yet so amazing. To me, anyways...I'm weird like that sometimes.

Anywho, this moment reminded me of just how much I can pick up just from watching others interact with their surroundings. Not to sound like too much of a bigot or anything, but the effect is usually the greatest when I watch older Black people. I remember one time being back home, at a grocery store. I just watched how everyone went about doing things in the store. Some people hobbled around, with grimaces of pain accompanying every step that they took. Others seemed to be determined to get the best value for their money as they appeared to compare products to each other. Some people were dressed in what society would deem as "old" or "cheap" clothing, while others were dressed a bit fancier. It showed me that some people were less concerned with image or perception and more concerned with protecting their bodies from the elements.

I don't really know where I'm going with this. Perhaps just to say that watching others gives me a deeper appreciation for the more primitive things that we give little or no thought to at all on a daily basis. At least that's what I get from it..but we all know I'm a bit off center.

On this day last year, I observed the five year mark since the day my dad passed away while out on Lake Erie by a rather lengthy piece describing the events of the day on which things happened and also the day after, which is when I found out. It was entitled, "Everybody Hurts..." and you can view it here [Everybody Hurts...].

This year, six years to the day. I'm doing okay for the most part. I just finished my second degree, for the most part I've stayed out of trouble, and I do my best to make myself and family proud on a daily basis. This year, I think I'll share the short poem that I wrote for the obituary. It was the only poem that I can recall ever writing in ink..green ink at that. I can't really think of too much else to say at the moment. I have a few other things on my mind this year. I miss love and miss my dad, I know he's proud of me. It seems like people make sure that I never forget that.

"In Pursuit Of Passion"
You lived your life to the fullest, as if each moment was your last
Hardworking and dedicated, truly a throwback to the past
You showed us that we are all equal and instilled wisdom in all of your children
And it wouldn't make sense for us to suppress all of our feelin's
We'll never forget you...in pursuit of your passion, you perished
It's so obvious that we love you, and you always will be cherished
Individually we may falter, but together we will make it through
And of course there's nothing in the world that can take the place of you
So many things make me think of you..practically twenty-four/seven
It's as if God has casted out his rod..and reeled you into Heaven
When you did the things you did, you were truly at your best..at least
We accept what has happened, and we know that you'll rest in peace.

This past Sunday night, I went to Sticks N Stones Slamwords, a poetry showcase here in Columbus, Ohio. I've been there before..listened to pieces from a few local poets. Tonight was a little different though..a team of slammers were practicing for an upcoming competition, and after flirting with the idea, I finally took the stage and nervously read some material of my own. Just like that other first time, I was nervous and finished no sooner than I had started...and I wanted to go again immediately afterwards. I didn't give my best performance by any means, but it was an interesting experience and the applause I got from the meager sized crowd--made it all worthwhile.

 

"Why I Write"

Sometimes life can be a struggle, sometimes life can be a plight
Some people like to question me, and ask me why I write.
See...I'm not writin' for a deal, I'm writing for my sanity
I'm writing for the love, and I'm light on the profanity
Usually
But sometimes shit just needs to be said
Like fuck George Bush, and I wish the Administration was dead
Never mind that, I could ramble and rant all night
But then I'd lose sight of exactly why I write
Sometimes I find myself writing to let out my frustrations
Other times I write in hopes that I can be a source of motivation
To someone
Perhaps comforting them during troubling times
It makes me feel good to know that someone found solace in my rhymes
Sometimes I tell the tales of a lover thrice scorned
Other times I write in remembrance of loved ones that I have mourned
Sometimes I find myself thinking back on passion packed nights
And I brought the house down like big packs of termites
But yeah, I'm married to my notebook, and I know I love my wife
And I don't always give her my best, but she still stays in my life
And as long as she's around, I know my future will be bright
And these are some of the reasons why I write….