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[01 Jan 2009 | Thursday]
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LOL. 
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[31 Dec 2008 | Wednesday]
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Current mood:  disgusted
Thank you, nameless victim, for saying what thousands of voices can never manage. Thank you for taking a courtroom that was putting you on trial, a courtroom whose sole purpose was the trial of Amos Busby, and for one moment (as fleeting as it may have been) putting this system, this society on trial. Stay strong, sister. ------------------------------------ It's a story that repeats. Everyday, every year. A woman went to the bar with her friends to celebrate. After the bar closed, she went outside to use her cell phone and call the friends who had left her there. She was grabbed from behind and choked and raped for 3.5 hours. She fought back, she tried to make her attacker empathetic toward her. Miraculously, he let her go at 7 AM. She went to the police and fully cooperated. Took them to and through the crime scene, spent four hours with detectives to develop a composite sketch. And lived through that hell every minute, I'm sure. Her resolve was so strong, it was lauded by a detective working the case. And yet, at the trial three years later, three years after the suspect, Amos Busby, was arrested and jailed awating trial, despite a mountain of physical evidence (including the DNA evidence used to identify and apprehend Busby) the trial turns on this nameless victim. A pathologist for the defense "acknowledged the woman was covered in bruises, scratches and scrapes but said there weren't sufficient injuries to her genitalia to support a rape conclusion." During defense cross examination of the victim, it was asked why she called her friends and not the police when her cell phone was returned to her. Her answer? She was ashamed and scared. "And I've seen too many movies where people like you yell at people like me." Sadly, like the many of these stories, it ended in a way that happens everyday, every year. After enduring 3.5 hours of assault, over four hours reliving it in detail with the police, and 3 years awaiting trial, the victim watched Busby leave the courtroom a free man. An innocent man. Please take a moment to consider: If a man like Busby is declared an innocent, where does that leave the victims? What judgements are being passed on them? If we are to trust the bifold conclusion of this system (innocent and guilty) and place trust in the decisions of this system, a man like Busby is innocent. A man, who without a shadow of a doubt forcibly had sex with the victim. A jury of his peers chose not to believe it was rape. They chose to believe the victim was guilty of lying. That it was consensual. That she wanted it. This woman was guilty of nothing more than being a woman out having a good time, and then stepping outside by herself. The system is flawed, people. via Echidne of the Snakes
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[25 Dec 2008 | Thursday]
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A very moving message: Imagine, just for the sake of discussion, that you had a few hours a week and a few dollars a month to donate to a cause – and you wanted to spend that time and money where it would have the greatest impact in saving and improving lives. Where would you spend it?
For Melinda and for me, the challenge is the same: how can we do the most good for the greatest number with the resources we have.
During our discussions on this question, Melinda and I read an article about the millions of children who were dying every year in poor countries from diseases that we had long ago made harmless in this country. Measles, malaria, pneumonia, hepatitis B, yellow fever. One disease I had never even heard of, rotavirus, was killing half a million kids each year – none of them in the United States.
We were shocked. We had just assumed that if millions of children were dying and they could be saved, the world would make it a priority to discover and deliver the medicines to save them. But it did not. For under a dollar, there were interventions that could save lives that just weren't being delivered.
If you believe that every life has equal value, it's revolting to learn that some lives are seen as worth saving and others are not. We said to ourselves: "This can't be true. But if it is true, it deserves to be the priority of our giving."
So we began our work in the same way anyone here would begin it. We asked: "How could the world let these children die?"
The answer is simple, and harsh. The market did not reward saving the lives of these children, and governments did not subsidize it. So the children died because their mothers and their fathers had no power in the market and no voice in the system.
But you and I have both.
We can make market forces work better for the poor if we can develop a more creative capitalism – if we can stretch the reach of market forces so that more people can make a profit, or at least make a living, serving people who are suffering from the worst inequities. We also can press governments around the world to spend taxpayer money in ways that better reflect the values of the people who pay the taxes.
If we can find approaches that meet the needs of the poor in ways that generate profits for business and votes for politicians, we will have found a sustainable way to reduce inequity in the world. This task is open-ended. It can never be finished. But a conscious effort to answer this challenge will change the world.
I am optimistic that we can do this, but I talk to skeptics who claim there is no hope. They say: "Inequity has been with us since the beginning, and will be with us till the end – because people just … don't … care." I completely disagree.
I believe we have more caring than we know what to do with.
It has all the ingredients of a holiday worldview. Equality. Caring. Hope. Charity. Except, this isn't a holiday message. It's an excerpt from the commencement address Bill Gates delivered at Harvard in 2007. Giving, charity, hope, equality and charity should be on our minds all year. So, my wish is you take that warm fuzzy feeling that manifests this time of year, and bring it with you into the new year. Look for those opportunities, big and small, where your hands can bring change, difference. Invest in the humanity around you. Wishing the best in 2009, Jenn
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[24 Dec 2008 | Wednesday]
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And your husband will leave you.  It simultaneously fascinates me and grosses me out that this used to be the norm in advertising.
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[19 Dec 2008 | Friday]
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Two blogs: Queer Eye Candy & We Are Not the Enemy. Check them out. And send them to your favorite homobigot.
 | Currently listening: Midnight Boom By The Kills Release date: 2008-03-18 |
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[17 Dec 2008 | Wednesday]
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From Alas, a Blog: 
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[12 Dec 2008 | Friday]
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Seriously. Just knock it off. You are no good at it. In fact, you are so terrible, so arrhythmic that it took me three hours to realize that it was drumming and not someone trying to escape confinement in a closet. I'm not joking. I almost called the police.
Me: Officer, I think my neighbors are harboring someone against their will. I think that they have someone locked up in a closet. Possible, the storage space under the stairs. All I can hear is erratic and desperate pounding!
Officer: Are you sure it's not a video game or loud movie?
Me: No, sir, it's neither. It's lasted for three hours now, and it has gotten louder and more desperate and panicked. Officer, you have to help them!
Officer: Thank you for being such an extraordinary citizen, ma'am.
Me: Just doing my civic duty, sir.
But, just as I was about to pick up the phone, you started experimenting with the cymbals. It was a new noise, and I figured that if it had been locked in the closet with you, you would have utilized it earlier. And if you had freed yourself from the closet you would have called the police on your own or run screaming down the street. But no, you commenced with your shitty racket again. It was really hard to make myself realize that there was no captor, no locked closet or no potential heroism on my part. There would be no news crews and no letter of appreciation from the mayor. Or the president (I skipped the governor because...well, because if you've been paying attention over the last few days you know my governor is a total douchebag).
I will not be saying "They seemed like such normal guys. They kept to themselves, really," on the evening news. Just shouting "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" through the walls again.
Oy.
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[10 Dec 2008 | Wednesday]
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Type your name in my blog comments. Once you do that, this is what I'll do for you...
1. I'll respond with something random about you. 2. I'll tell you which song or movie you remind me of. 3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle you in. 4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me. 5. I'll tell you my first memory of you. 6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of. 7. I'll ask you something I've always wondered about you. 8. If you play, you MUST post this on yours. You MUST.
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[09 Dec 2008 | Tuesday]
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Sunless Nick posted a guest blog up at Shakesville last month (I'm still catching up on GoogleReader) taking on Men's rights activists douchebags who claim that being falsely accused of rape is just as demoralizing, traumatizing and horrible as being raped. Here's a taste:For instance, if a victim of false rape accusation was really treated like a victim of rape, then the accused man would be held responsible for it. He'd be asked why he was alone with her. He'd be lectured on everything he coulda woulda shoulda done differently, then or otherwise. He'd have his whole history dissected,looking for other women he might have annoyed, thus justifying this woman's annoyance. He'd be asked if he agreed to the rumour, or secretly liked it? He'd be pressured to drop the whole thing because it was a mistake, not really a serious allegation, she's not really the lying type(heck, she might even be called plucky), and is it really worth ruining her life over this?
And that'd be from the people who believed him and claimed they were on his side.
Otherwise of course, he'd be called a liar (or even a sinister conspirator)—and were he ever to smile or date again, it could be advanced as proof of it. And he'd be called the male equivalents of slut, whore, tease, and bitch (or would, if the male equivalents of those words weren't compliments). And he'd be asked if he can really remember what happened, and is he sure she said yes?
There would be long earnest diatribes about how men could avoid being deservedly' accused. (Not by just by disgruntled women either; the mainstream media would weigh in on the 'MRAs false-accusation fallacy'). Of course they'd include disclaimers of how, 'No man deserves to be falsely accused of rape, BUT'—before going on to explain how so many case of false accusation are indeed the man's fault, and how men should ensure that they don't happen.
For instance, it might be trotted out how women are hardwired for intimacy, security, and long-term commitment, and are you sure you didn't say or do anything that implied you were willing to marry and start a family with her? No? But you had sex, and that could have been construed as a promise for those things, so her anger at you breaking that promise is quite understandable really. Did you made it clear you were only interested in a casual hookup? Well why didn't you make it clearer?
Along the way, it might be compared to property crime say identity theft. After all, we know the stories now; we're careful about letting information about slip into other people's hands, and we know how hard it is to prove the truth if false purchases are racked up in our name. So it's not much of a stretch to parallel that to false accusations and tarnished reputations, right?
There'd be PSAs on how parents can prevent their sons getting into situations where they might be accused of rape, with the women who might do it mysteriously disappeared from the narrative. Men would be told to take false accusations as compliment—you know, you're so hot she'd say anything to make people think you'd been together—or maybe she thinks the accusation makes you sound more manly. At the same time, they'd be told the claim must be true because they're too old or ugly to have been with a woman any other way.
Normally, I'd post much less a taste in my own blog, but I think Nick makes a stellar point. False accusations are not okay. Ever. They are demoralizing, potentially traumatizing or horrific, but they are no where near the level of being raped. Not even close (not to mention how rare these false accusations are. Especially in light of how horrifically prevalent rape is). And the sort of rape-apology that weaves itself through media, society at large, and is the bulk of the MRA's argument/foundation creates a secondary demoralization and trauma to a rape victim. This is when you hear things like 'I had to relive the rape' or 'it's like being raped twice.'Read the whole thing (including tons of links backing up Nick's post) here: The MRA Mirror.
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[18 Nov 2008 | Tuesday]
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This commercial came on today: and it made me think of when Austen and I were chilling out watching TV, and it came on. Austen turned and said, "I want to see that movie." This event may have been Ambien induced. I don't remember.
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