The following piece is one man's view of the "Appetite for Distraction Tour" featuring Rhymesayers artists Eyedea & Abilites and VeriZum salesmen Educated Consumers.

First and foremost, big shouts to Eyedea & Abilities for giving us the opportunity to be lyrical miracles in front of new fans. Thanks are also due to James Da Tour Manager and Merch Master O'Rourke (if that is indeed your real name) for making sure the shows went smoothly. Sean from One Viisiion also deserves an extra-crispy Matzo cracker for filming, photographing, and drinking. Finally, thanks to hotel finder extraordinaire <3 Kel for pimping Priceline.com. (Product placement is fun and easy!)

May 27 @ The Rock and Roll Hotel (DC)

For all intents and purposes, we are a D.C. Hip Hop group. We get write-ups in the Washington Post. We get food from Ben's Chili Bowl. We get Cognac with Marion Barry. Kicking off the tour in our backyard was a dope way to get retarded in here, and it also ment the home crowd was on-hand to make it seem like we actually have rabid followers who know our music inside and out. My mom said, "Wow, everybody knows the words to your songs!" I assured her that all of our shows are packed with adoring fans who beg for our approval. She seemed convinced.

The Rock and Roll Hotel is a great venue because the staff knows the deal and the space allows sound to fill the room effectively. The Food Chain Collective was in full force as Math Panda set the table with a great set. Since we had been filled with the nutritional goodness only Subway can provide, t..E..C..K! and I proceeded to tear down the proverbial house. Eyedea & Abilities then tied up the loose ends and fried up the goose eggs with an amazing set of older songs, newer material, and freestyle raps and scratches. I've always been a big fan of their music, so it was especially cool to know I'd watch their set evolve over the next few nights. (Or should I say intelligently design? Whatever, Jesus used to politik with dinosaurs.) I got to sleep in my own bed and hang with my dogs for one more night, then it was off to Philly the next morning.

May 28 @ The Barbary Saloon (Philly)

Philadelphia, land of cheesesteaks and Icon the Mic King. This was a very early show (7:15!??? that ain't Hip Hop!!!) so I wasn't sure what kind of crowd to expect. Speaking of expectations, I sure as hell wasn't expecting the green room to be 40 degrees, but it was. Eyedea and I chattered our way through a conversation about stolen RSE banners, different cigarette brands, and what it's like be on HBO before turning 21. I didn't have much to say except that I smoke Marlboro lights.* Abilities saw me drinking a Yeungling and said, "He's seezin our beer!" I laughed, then made a mental note to pull him aside later and explain that making fun of someone's name can be very hurtful.

Anyway, the crowd was extremely young since it was an early all-ages show. I was nervous at first because I am now a grumpy old man and didn't know if I could still relate to today's youth. I was pleasantly surprised, however: they were very recpetive and said "stolen" at the correct parts of the song. We didn't sell much merch, but many of the youngsters appeared indoctrinated with the Educated Consumers way of life. You know what the Catholic church says: "Get em while they're young!" Wait...

After the show, we did an interview with a girl who goes by the name "3" in the meat locker green room. Hopefully the interview will be available shortly. We then made our way to a venue up the street to watch a rock band and pay $6 for draft beers. I did not watch the rock band or pay $6 for draft beers, but instead talked to Eyedea about The Flaming Lips, performing when extremely drunk, and what it means to be in love. Some Australian chick gave Eyedea her shirt. While I enjoy random Aussies derobing as much as the next guy, it was time for ol' SeezMeezy to get to grubbin. I had not eaten since lunch and it was about 2 in the morning, so I beelined to Wawa for a world-famous Meatball sub. Sean claims that at one point I passionately said, "I would have sex with this sandwich." Whatever, Sean. Anyone who knows me understands my amorous relationship with food does not go beyond making sweet, sweet love to more than one sandwich a year and I had already been to Quizno's in March (case still pending.)

*I'm quitting. Not so much for health reasons, but I'm tired of t..E..C..K! telling me I smoke sissy cigarettes.

May 29 @ The Knitting Factory (NY)

I was pretty hungover when I woke up, but it was a beautiful day so I went to shoot some hoops at a park near t..E..C..K!'S crib. The sun and exercise were a refreshing way to spend the day, so I was all hydrated and amped for the NY show.

I have a weird relationship with NY. Big cities are not my gig, but they obviously offer more advantages than some spread out suburb. I used to force myself to like cities because of these advantages, then I had an inner-struggle and developed a "I don't like em cause I don't like em!" attitude, and eventually settled on my current perspective: I like to visit, but I wouldn't want to be kidnapped and dropped off in a Brooklyn sewer. Which is unusual, I know. Anyway... Sean, Eyedea & I grabbed a bite to eat at a diner before the show. Nobs came through and gave t..E..C..K! some records because crate diggers are a generous bunch.

The Knitting Factory is a very cool venue, not only because of its historical importance but because the sound people know how to maximize every inch of the space. I usually need an earplug in my bad ear because the bass is too heavy or the snares are too piercing, but these cats had everything figured out. My friend Deep from high school DJ's for the openers and it's always nice to see him and his Hungry Bro Ben Boogie. Stoney Ashes of Rosetta Stoned was also kind enough to come through and take these dope pictures. Here's my personal favorite:

Our set was well received because we're the shit, but Eyedea & Abilities completely owned the stage. It was by far their best performance of the tour, and this isn't to say that the others were bad. It was just the energy of the crowd, the third time through the set, the sound being perfect... everything came together and they showed why they're Eyedea & Abilites.

Sean and I joined the superstars for a night on the town. We ended up in a Manhattan bar with unisex bathrooms. El-P eventually came in and was buying shots for his friends, among whom Sean is one of. Sean asked El-P to get one for his friend Cole, to which El-P responded, "I don't know Cole, but here you go." I've finally made it.

Sean, Eyedea and I eventually wondered into the rising sunlight and decided it was time to grub and catch a cab to our respective crash spots. We found a pizza spot, and Sean ordered 3 slices because he thought he'd be a nice guy and spot me and Eyedea.Eyedea and I must not have realized his generosity because we ordered our own slices. Sean wondered around while waiting for his pizza, and eventually approached the register with a bottle of iced tea. He must have had one too many PBR's because the register guy said "That'll be $13" to which Sean said "COLE! ARE YOU COOL WITH THIS??? $13 FOR A BOTTLE OF ICED TEA???!!!" I started laughing my ass off as me and the register dude tried to explain what had happened. Sean simmered down na' and we grubbed, then took a cab to the crash spot. Good times.

I spit a hot 137 the next morning.

May 30 @ The Living Room (Providence, RI)

Took us 90 minutes to get to I-95 from Brooklyn. Word.

This was the first city where we had a hotel and I was anxious to see what kind of accomodations we'd be dealing with. Fortunately for us, <3 Kel was on the case and booked us a dope room on the cheap. We chilled for a bit, soundchecked and set up merch at the venue, then broke out to get some food.

Providence is a lot like D.C. in that you go from rundown industrial graveyard to bustling urban sprawl in a matter of 500 yards. A Mexican spot did us lovely and I was amped for the show. Unfortunately, the Celtics were eliminating the Pistons (sayonara Flip, keep playing the other team's best scorer straight up!) and the crowd was more into the game than my bad jokes. Such is life. I got to build with Storm Davis of the Oakland A's Poorly Drawn People, and hopefully we'll be trading shows with them soon.

Manhattan had drained the party out of us, so we weren't in the mood to go out. We were in the mood to take some pictures with the venue's graffiti wall as the backdrop and do an interview in front of a Dunkin' Donuts (the interview footage will be posted shortly ahem Sean ahem.) Here are some of the pictures:

May 31 @ Harper's Ferry (Allston, MA)

Sometimes irony is too delicious for even the most cynical audiences. Try not to drool on the screen.

We usually do "Minor Celebrity" during live shows because it is one of our most user-friendly songs: several transitions, neck-breaking beat, and visually stimulating lines which I can act out by punching myself in the head. However, there is a dead spot between verses that I've tried to fill with different jokes or stupid dances. No matter how much I practice my knee-slippin' punchlines or killer moves, it's a pretty awkward pause that needed some fixin'. I had a grandiose idea to create signs which I could hold up during the dead spot. The signs would passive-aggressively bully the crowd into buying merch by pre-empting any bullshit excsues they might have. I then extended such brilliant thinking into, "Why not also make a sign to put on the merch table? In fact... WHY NOT MAKE SIGNS TO PUT IN EVERY SQUARE INCH OF ALL THE VENUES!!!" Rationality took over and I decided to stick with 3 signs: 2 for the stage, 1 for the merch table. I figured out how I wanted to word the phrases, then got them printed up at Kinko's after spending several hours trying to write them out on my own. (Note to self: being left-handed is not condusive to spatial understanding.) Basically, I spent a lot more time/energy/money creating these signs than most people spend on their children.

The salivating amongst you ask, "So where's the irony?" So just as I have forgotten to mention these signs until now, I forgot to grab the merch table sign from The Living Room. Storm Davis was kind enough to offer grabbing the sign and bringing it to the Allston show (on his birthday, no less!) but ultimately it was unnecessary. Special shout to Mike (the promoter) for leaving the sign outside and to <3 Kel for picking it up on her way home.

So a few lessons learned at this show: don't eat fried rice and drink 2 Sierra Nevada's before going on stage, then act surprised when your breath control sucks. Don't hold one of the signs your dumbass actually remembered to bring upside down. (Before we went on, my homey Blaksli jokingly said, "I'm going to hype you up and start wyling out in the front!" During the part of Minor Celebrity when I hold the sign, he's animatedly telling me to "Flip it! Flip it!" I'm all like, "Yeah man, I'm about to flip the lyrics!" He ment "Flip the sign, it's upside down!" Well played, Seez. Well played.) Don't apologize for calmly asking people not to try selling cd's to the people in the front of the stage. Don't let passive aggressive and petty attempts at insults slide. Well, the last one I already knew.

Many thanks to <3 Kel, Blaksli, and Rachel for coming out. 

June 1 @ Higher Ground Lounge (Burlington, VT)

People who have toured extensively told me Burlington, and specifically Higher Ground Lounge, is a diamond in the rough. They were very on point: the city itself was dope, and the venue was the nicest one on the tour. That's not to say places like Rock and Roll Hotel or The Knitting Factory weren't awesome; if anything, it's a compliment because the other venues had set the bar so high. But Higher Ground was exceptional because the staff went above and beyond to make us feel comfortable (thanks for the sweatshirt), the food was insanely dope, and the sound was great. Our greenroom even had the good Doctor!

I wasn't happy with my performance in Boston, so I made sure not to eat too much and went through a few vocal warm-ups just to make sure I was ready to rumble. It paid off because this was by far our best set of the tour, and the packed crowd let us know by buying lots of merch. Someone even bought a hat!

After the show, we joined the E & A Party Squad for some post-tour celebration. We partied at a park bench and discussed the upcoming election, Ishamel, old rap, new rap, best tour stories, worst tour stories, sports, religion, why O'Rourke has 37 names, and eventually said our goodbyes in the midst of mankind's greatest intentionally-bad freestyle cypher.

All in all, it was an incredible experience. I'd personally like to thank Eyedea, Abilities, James, O'Rourke, Jason, Sean (see his pictures here), and <3 Kel for making it such a great time.