I don't know where or how to begin, but I know I need to just write.
It seems to be about that time that I'm just not happy with anything. I just can't get no satisfaction, you know it? haha.. There are spurts of awesome that happen every now and again, but I just know I'm not where I should be in life. Or maybe I am, and I should be learning from the situation, but I'm pretty much hating it right now..... But I suppose that's how the best lessons are learned. They're never easy, eh? But, then again, I don't know what I'm supposed to be looking out for. I'm not sure which chapters to take notes on.
There are a few things I have figured out just recently.. Say what you mean, and mean what you say. My dad always said it, and it always made sense, but I never really lived by it. Just last weekend I bailed on my best friend (for somewhat of a good reason but still uncalled for). And I feel nothing but regret now. Stupid.
And for the past little while, Kyle keeps saying things... promising the world more or less, and I've yet to see any type of change in him either. "I'm gonna get a job. I'm gonna help pay bills. I'm gonna start saving money. I'm gonna, I'm gonna..." Yeahhh, not. I just don't see that happening in the near future.
Over that.
I'm over a lot of things at this time.. But I do have some things to be thankful for. There is always something to be thankful for.
The person who will love me and do anything for me they can until they're no longer here.
The person who I like to call best frannn, that lets me bitch, piss, whine, moan.... and still calls me.
The person who makes me feel somewhat important and awesome, even if they don't know it. (I'm almost certain they have no idea.)
The person who calls less than every blue moon, and we see each other even less than that, and we can still be best friends. So much love.
And tons more..
But, I should probably get off this thing.
Love<3

the saddest piece of shit right now, I can't even begin to tell you.

My birthday was on Sunday and I was out of cell phone range. I assume once I did get service there would at least be like... 10 texts. Happy Birthdays. Maybe a few voice mails. There were about 4 people total who gave a shit at all to send a text and/or voicemail. Even a card.

Swear to god best friends don't mean anything anymore.

Maybe that's life at 19. No candles or cake.. just a happy birthday margarita (that someone else drinks =P) and a "wow, you lasted this long." Haha. No presents.. No specialness about anything.

And after getting a little twisted, I was gonna drive an 1/8th of a mile of the lake road to Ken and Karen's because I was bored with who I was with... and I happened to ding Derek's fuckin bumper. Which fucked my car up because it was his big diesel truck... And he freaked the fuck out and made me absolutely hate him. For about a day and a half I thought he was the biggest douche bag out there. I still haven't talked to him about it, but I'm sure he realized it was a dingggggg and not the end of the world as he knows it.

It's summer time that makes me miss my dad the most and my birthday just happens to kick all of that off. He made me feel like the most important person in the world. He made me feel like it revolved around me, even when it was just him and me. He would do anything to make me crack a smile and tell him that I loved him. He wanted to do whatever it took to make memories.

They say daughters marry their fathers.... I'm not sure I've found my dad yet.

I do know that I have this super cute dog that makes me hate her and love her no matter what...

Get at me, loves.

2008 AWARD..S

1) DRINK..ING BUDDY.. OF THE YEAR
Not gonna.. lie.... have to go with Nick B on this one. haha.

2) LIFET..IME SERVI..CE AWARD.. (..longe..st frien..d)
Kaley..y.

3) NEWCO..MER AWARD.. - COOLE..ST NEWES..T FRIEN..D?
Wow.... I made a ton of new frien..ds. I canno..t name just one.... Haha... Lots of peopl..e at schoo..l that are fanta..stic.... Kyle'..s frien..ds. Frien..ds of frien..ds. haha.

3) HIGH POINT.. OF THE YEAR?
Summe..r was prett..y good.

4) LOW POINT.. OF THE YEAR?
Janua..ry - Febru..ary was rough...

5) BEST HOLID..AY?
New years... haha... Anndd.. yeah... That'..s about.. it. I don'..t reall..y love holid..ays.

6) YOUR SONG FOR 2008
Oh man, there.. were so many... haha... Lolip..op I'm gonna.. go with.

7) MOVIE.. FOR 2008?
Pinea..pple Expre..ss? I think.. it was the only one I saw in a theat..er.

10) WHO DID YOU SPEND.. VALEN..TINES.. WITH?
No one! haha.

11) BEST RELAT..IONSH..IP?
Charl..ie and Keelo... haha.

12) WHAT WERE YOU FOR HALLO..WEEN?
A black.. fairy... It was splen..did.

13) RESTA..URANT.. OF THE YEAR?
DUBBS..! Still.. Dubbs... haha.

14) KISS OF THE YEAR?
Hahaa..a. There.. were cops invol..ved? Long story... Not sure.... haha.

15) BEST DECIS..ION MADE THIS YEAR?
I'm not sure.... haha... Oh! Going.. to schoo..l. :)

16) WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS.. FOR NEXT YEAR?
Being.. on top of my shit more or less.

17) MOST STUPI..D IDEA WHEN DRUNK..?
Hahah.... It was a must-..ish at the time but ridin..g on the back of Nick still.. drunk.. back from Glads..tone.

18) TV SHOW OF THE YEAR?
The Hills..!

19) MOST LOYAL.. FRIEN..D(s)
Kage,.. Sean,.. Dusti..n.. My "..boys."

20) BIGGE..ST CHANG..E OF THE YEAR?
My hair?.. haha... Maybe...

21) BIGGE..ST douch..e bag AWARD..?
Spenc..er!?

22) BEST PURCH..ASE OF THE YEAR?
Truck..kk. Snowb..oard... Doggy... haha.

23) FAVOR..ITE CONCE..RT OF THE YEAR?
Rockf..est! haha.

24) NEW YEAR RESOL..UTION..?
Remem..ber that life it too short.... be aweso..me. Love lots... Give too many hugs.

Well. I was gonna write an update on my life. But now all that's coming to mind is random lyrics of songs I don't listen to anymore. Haha.

Ohhh well. haha.

I gotta pack for the weekend. Snowboarding with my loves tomorrow then driving down to Sand Lake with K Lee after that. Meeting Derek, Jodi, the girls, Ken, Karen, Matt, Mike, Jesse, John, and Misty. And Scott and his girls. Should be a dope weekend. =)


Your best bet to get ahold of me is def via phone. haha. I'm not on the space too much anymore.

Love!

have random moments in time pop into you head?

There is this one time at Glen that just keeps coming to mind. Idk why. It’s just odd. And it’s always like once a day. Geeeeeze.

Do you remember what happened? I do.
I remember the weather. I remember where I went, what I did, who I was with, and how stupid I felt.
I remember where I spent most my night, what I drank, who held me up on the way to Safeway and how my aunt insisted I drive home.

This last year has been a gahd damn roller coaster. The apartment, the boy, the single brother, the crew that's moved away now.. even the surgery and all that bullshit. And I must admit I'm really sad it's over and know nothing will be how it was this last year. There's lots more that that entails.. But wow. I'm growing up. Almost 18. Almost graduated. Almost, man.

Maybe this year will be as exciting and great. We shall see...

I miss him so much. Gahd damn 2 and a half years of healing gets pwnd in half an hour of driving down a certain road.
Honestly.
I love the memories. I love the man. I love that I can look back and smile while holding back the tears.
Life is toooo short.
Man.
I didn't have nearly enough time with him.
I swear.. everytime things seem alright in all aspects, something pops up and is like, "Oh, remember? You're not supposed to be able to hold on to anyone for more than a couple years."
Hmm.
I have amazing friends. I'd be in such a downward spiral, if not dead, if it wasn't for them. Special note to my best friends, Sean and Kaley. You guys rule more than life.
Anyway.. I'm tired. And it's getting hard to focus due to that and tears blurring the screen so I'm gonna wrap this up.
Daddy, I love you and miss you more than anything... you were my everything. You made me who I am today and I will never forget that. I will never look back and wonder why you didn't do something for me.. you did it all. There couldn't have been a better match, you and I. Peas in a pod. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you and pray that I'm making you proud.
<3

Horribly random.. Monkey sent it to me tonight and I found it hilarious.

kendallliddicoat (6:27:24 PM): i guess not
kendallliddicoat (6:27:28 PM): wheres the sleeping?
kendallliddicoat (6:27:31 PM): wanna do my school work?
fulanifoo (6:28:02 PM): yeah, what is it
fulanifoo (6:28:32 PM) : (you're constantly trying to make me your secretary)
kendallliddicoat (6:29:49 PM): Well, yeah.
kendallliddicoat (6:30:01 PM): Is taht so wrong?
fulanifoo (6:31:28 PM) : i dunno. do i get vacation time?
kendallliddicoat (6:31:45 PM): Oh certainly.
fulanifoo (6:32:03 PM): hm..befifits? visual and dental?
kendallliddicoat (6:32:46 PM) : If by visual you mean you get to look at me and by dental you mean Rockstar and Snapple.....
kendallliddicoat (6:32:47 PM) : Yes.
fulanifoo (6:33:13 PM): shit son, you throw in 3 day weekends and you got yourself a bitch!
fulanifoo (6:33:20 PM): i mean... secretary
kendallliddicoat (6:33:23 PM): Hahaha
kendallliddicoat (6:33:34 PM) : Done!
fulanifoo (6:34:12 PM): (if you mean by visual you get to look at me) hahaha
kendallliddicoat (6:34:20 PM): Lol
kendallliddicoat (6:34:25 PM) : I didn't know what esle to say... haha
fulanifoo (6:34:44 PM): that was good, i'll give you +2 pts.
kendallliddicoat (6:34:54 PM): Yessssss.
kendallliddicoat (6:35:00 PM) : I'm gonna keep track.
fulanifoo (6:35:05 PM): save up enough and you can get a prize!
fulanifoo (6:35:10 PM): WHOODYY WHOOOOO
kendallliddicoat (6:35:13 PM) : Hahaha!
kendallliddicoat (6:35:16 PM): Whoooo!
fulanifoo (6:35:57 PM): never drink amp on an empty stomach
kendallliddicoat (6:36:10 PM): OMG no kidding.
kendallliddicoat (6:36:19 PM): Or anything with that much caffine.
fulanifoo (6:36:22 PM): im dyin over here
kendallliddicoat (6:36:25 PM): I bet you're about dyin
kendallliddicoat (6:36:27 PM): haha
kendallliddicoat (6:36:28 PM) : Well.
kendallliddicoat (6:36:43 PM): Im sorry.
fulanifoo (6:36:45 PM): why didnt you tell me!?
kendallliddicoat (6:37:05 PM): I tired!
fulanifoo (6:37:35 PM): stop speaking like a caveman
kendallliddicoat (6:37:51 PM): Hahahaha
kendallliddicoat (6:37:53 PM): I tried*
kendallliddicoat (6:37:57 PM): Hahaha lol
kendallliddicoat (6:38:05 PM): Me Kendall. Me hungry.
fulanifoo (6:38:11 PM): lol!
fulanifoo (6:38:38 PM) : shit, i really did laugh and almost got caught.
kendallliddicoat (6:39:06 PM): Hahah I did too!
kendallliddicoat (6:39:16 PM): My aunt was like, is school funny now? Weird...
kendallliddicoat (6:39:16 PM): haha
kendallliddicoat (6:39:18 PM): Sorry.
fulanifoo (6:40:25 PM): haha
fulanifoo (6:40:35 PM): what schoolwork are you doing anyway
fulanifoo (6:40:42 PM): whats the um... subject?
kendallliddicoat (6:40:54 PM): Chemistry.
kendallliddicoat (6:41:52 PM): It's not awesome. It's a lotttttt of reading that I don't wanna do.
kendallliddicoat (6:41:52 PM): haha
fulanifoo (6:42:16 PM): and with a distraction like me it cant be any easier.
kendallliddicoat (6:42:25 PM) : Yeah! I know!
fulanifoo (6:42:28 PM): its basically math though.
kendallliddicoat (6:42:29 PM): Maybe I'll do some math.
kendallliddicoat (6:42:35 PM): Nah, I just dont wanna read right now.
kendallliddicoat (6:43:08 PM): Waht time do you get off?
fulanifoo (6:43:23 PM): Midnight
kendallliddicoat (6:43:33 PM): Lies.
fulanifoo (6:43:36 PM): dammit
fulanifoo (6:43:40 PM) : 11:30?
kendallliddicoat (6:43:43 PM): Alright.
kendallliddicoat (6:43:48 PM): Ill buy that.
fulanifoo (6:43:53 PM): (haha, sucker)
fulanifoo (6:44:20 PM): actually i get outta here at 5.30
kendallliddicoat (6:45:08 PM) : hahaha
kendallliddicoat (6:45:11 PM): Oh siiiick.
fulanifoo (6:46:15 PM): yup yup
fulanifoo (6:46:27 PM): i wanna go see jackass 2
kendallliddicoat (6:46:34 PM): Ahh me too.
fulanifoo (6:46:36 PM) : but i might save that for tomorrow
kendallliddicoat (6:46:36 PM): I hope it's good.
kendallliddicoat (6:46:39 PM): And has some skateboarding.
fulanifoo (6:46:44 PM) : oh you know it does
kendallliddicoat (6:46:57 PM): Yeah, haha.
kendallliddicoat (6:47:02 PM): I wanna see it at the drive in!
kendallliddicoat (6:47:09 PM) : I haven't gone all summer.
kendallliddicoat (6:47:10 PM):
fulanifoo (6:49:20 PM): ive never been to one
kendallliddicoat (6:50:12 PM) : Ahh, they're neat.
fulanifoo (6:51:58 PM): thats what i hear
kendallliddicoat (6:52:57 PM): You've really never been?
kendallliddicoat (6:53:04 PM): I'm ever so sorry.
fulanifoo (6:53:27 PM): hey, i dont lie all the time
fulanifoo (6:53:45 PM): but alas... me have never been to drive-in theatre :(
kendallliddicoat (6:54:35 PM): Don't talk like a caveman.
fulanifoo (6:55:58 PM): hey!
kendallliddicoat (6:56:10 PM): Hayyyyyy is for horses.
fulanifoo (6:56:26 PM): yee fuckin haw then!
kendallliddicoat (6:56:36 PM): lol
kendallliddicoat (6:56:46 PM): ill cut you
fulanifoo (6:56:50 PM) : do it
kendallliddicoat (6:56:57 PM): *mean mug
fulanifoo (6:57:29 PM): *sticks tounge out
kendallliddicoat (6:57:39 PM): lol
kendallliddicoat (6:57:45 PM): *cuts tounge
kendallliddicoat (6:57:47 PM): HA!
fulanifoo (6:57:50 PM): oh shit
fulanifoo (6:58:05 PM): *grows another
fulanifoo (6:58:12 PM): haha, im from mars bitch
kendallliddicoat (6:58:13 PM): Now you're gonna talk like that kid from A Christmas Story whose tounge was stuck to a light pole.
kendallliddicoat (6:58:15 PM): Hahahahaha
kendallliddicoat (6:58:19 PM): DANG IT.
fulanifoo (6:58:36 PM): I love that movie!
kendallliddicoat (6:58:42 PM) : Haha me toooo./
fulanifoo (6:58:48 PM): "I triple DAWG dare you!"
fulanifoo (6:58:48 PM): haha
kendallliddicoat (6:58:53 PM): hahah
kendallliddicoat (6:58:57 PM): The sinister of all dares.
fulanifoo (6:59:05 PM): haha
kendallliddicoat (6:59:17 PM): Hahaha I always watch the marathon on Christmas eve...
kendallliddicoat (6:59:19 PM): ha!
fulanifoo (6:59:36 PM) : me too. when they play it like 12 times in a row
kendallliddicoat (6:59:45 PM): Yeah!
kendallliddicoat (6:59:45 PM): haha
kendallliddicoat (6:59:51 PM) : I watch at least 6 of em.
kendallliddicoat (7:00:03 PM): Wake up in the middle of the night... "OH! Duh. TBS."
kendallliddicoat (7:00:14 PM): Or... wait. I forget what station...
kendallliddicoat (7:00:27 PM): How much do you know about fractions?
fulanifoo (7:01:56 PM): i know that Fifth Third Bank is an improper fraction.. and i'd never trust a bank with a name like that.
kendallliddicoat (7:02:14 PM): Hahaaaa
kendallliddicoat (7:02:24 PM): Well, that solves all my problems. Thank you.
fulanifoo (7:02:36 PM): im just sayin
kendallliddicoat (7:02:36 PM): I just got a 100 on this assignment.
kendallliddicoat (7:02:47 PM): *sticks tounge out
fulanifoo (7:02:47 PM) : did you grade it yourself?
kendallliddicoat (7:02:53 PM): I was kidding.
kendallliddicoat (7:02:53 PM): lol
kendallliddicoat (7:03:15 PM): 5/8 divided by 2/5
kendallliddicoat (7:04:18 PM): 1 9/16 i thought.. but it tells me I'm wrong...
kendallliddicoat (7:04:37 PM): OMGGGGGG
kendallliddicoat (7:04:40 PM): I can't read. Heh.
fulanifoo (7:05:37 PM): wait i can do this...
kendallliddicoat (7:06:04 PM): I missed the whole... (enter as an improper faction) part.
kendallliddicoat (7:06:08 PM): I was putting mixed numbers.
fulanifoo (7:06:17 PM): oooh
kendallliddicoat (7:06:30 PM): 2 1/2 x 1 3/8 =
kendallliddicoat (7:09:18 PM): you can do itt.
kendallliddicoat (7:09:19 PM):
fulanifoo (7:09:23 PM): 3.29
kendallliddicoat (7:09:33 PM): as a fraction smart ass.
fulanifoo (7:09:50 PM): haha, fuck
kendallliddicoat (7:10:37 PM) : Haha
kendallliddicoat (7:10:43 PM): Nevermind. I'll give you some different ones.
kendallliddicoat (7:10:52 PM): I'm on a new assignment now.
fulanifoo (7:11:10 PM) : 2 3/4
kendallliddicoat (7:11:29 PM): Yeah, I think so.
fulanifoo (7:11:48 PM): well i know so.
kendallliddicoat (7:13:03 PM): Well then.
kendallliddicoat (7:13:12 PM): Add or subtract the following mixed numbers using the first method. (Add the whole numbers; add the fractions; combine the parts of the sum for the answer.) Be sure your answers are in mixed number format and reduced to lowest terms.
kendallliddicoat (7:13:19 PM): 2 2/3 + 4 1/8
fulanifoo (7:14:42 PM) : 6 3/11
kendallliddicoat (7:15:29 PM): i got 4
kendallliddicoat (7:15:29 PM): lol
fulanifoo (7:15:41 PM): what? lol
kendallliddicoat (7:15:41 PM): You gotta get the common denominator.
fulanifoo (7:15:47 PM): did you use the method
fulanifoo (7:15:49 PM): oh yeah.
fulanifoo (7:15:51 PM): thats right.
fulanifoo (7:15:55 PM): its addition.
kendallliddicoat (7:16:05 PM): And add the whole numbers to the fractions for improper fractions..
fulanifoo (7:17:04 PM): 6 1/8
kendallliddicoat (7:17:15 PM): Are you sure?
fulanifoo (7:17:20 PM): yup yup
fulanifoo (7:17:46 PM): the lowest common denominator is 24.
fulanifoo (7:17:58 PM): so it would be 3 over 24, then reduced is 1/8
fulanifoo (7:18:05 PM): at 2 and 4 and you get 6.
fulanifoo (7:18:20 PM): put em together, fuckin bickity bam! 61/8
fulanifoo (7:18:57 PM): and if you wanted to do it as a whole number it would be 49
kendallliddicoat (7:19:20 PM): Hahah
kendallliddicoat (7:19:21 PM) : Okay!
kendallliddicoat (7:19:30 PM): I got 20/3 actually..
kendallliddicoat (7:19:32 PM): I redid it.
kendallliddicoat (7:19:33 PM): haha
kendallliddicoat (7:19:48 PM): And even if I wanted to explain how I got that I couldn't..
kendallliddicoat (7:19:49 PM): haha
fulanifoo (7:21:26 PM): magic?
fulanifoo (7:21:37 PM): or you asked a  year old.
fulanifoo (7:21:50 PM): and theres supposed to be a 5 in there.
kendallliddicoat (7:22:06 PM): Haha
kendallliddicoat (7:22:14 PM): Magic.

i just got home.
and im in a mess. im drunk and stupid and im not sure how many people i kissed or layed on. but i am pretty sure that all the side kicks i know just signed off because their networl sucks.

i quot.

i think its bed time.

tonigt was fun. im done looking at the keyboard. 

time to eat

LOVES!


*Edit* Oh my goodness. Did I really post that last night/this morning? I rule.. not. Haha..