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Nightshades Shadow



Last Updated: 11/17/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 25
Sign: Aquarius

City: BATH
State: Maine
Country: US
Signup Date: 10/11/2005

Blog Archive
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Saturday, August 16, 2008 

Current mood:  disappointed
Category: Life
Ok so I'm sure that some of you are wondering where I have been and what I'm up to. Quite frakly Im hiding under my rock and trying to get through day to day life at this point. My whole life has changed and I'm trying to learn to live it. Not that the changes have been bad, actually rather the oppisite. Matt and I have been split for like 5 months now and being a single mother is DEFFINATELY not easy. Not that he was that much help in the first place. I have moved out of my apartment and I am renting a couple rooms from a great friend (thanks Dar). I just couldn't realisticly afford it any more. Matt has turned into a real loser. Yeah deadbeat dad to the MAX! And his new girlly is a real model citizen, someone I really want my child looking up to...HA.....I knew I left the fucker for a reason. Through out this whole thing I feel I have been more than fair and not  a bitch at all. But I have an incling that thats going to change real fast. I am going to be forced to deal with this countrys fucked up judicial system (something I am really not looking forward to). Due to certain curcumstances I feel that Aftyn is no longer safe in his care so I will do what I must to keep her in a safe environment. Honestly I really dont think he will even care. I am only sorry about this whole for Aftyns sake she deffinatley deserves better and I wish I would have seen it earlier. I am so sick of being the bad guy. When hes not around its my fualt. She doesnt understand what a POS he is and Im not going to be the one to tell her. Ahh the trials and tribulations of a single mother. Put all of this ontop of having to work, pay bills, and buy parts for a crappy car (with no child support) and WOW Im surprized Im still sane...lol. I start school again in two weeks and I am really looking forward to it. It makes me feel like its all worth something and that someday things WILL be better. And things will be better, I WILL NOT allow it to be any other way. So anyway thats whats up with me. To my GOOD friends and you know who you are.......I am sorry I havent been around and as soon I get my life somewhat back in check I'll be paying you a visit so consiter yourselves warned...hahaha....LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!
6:20 AM 
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Thursday, May 22, 2008 

Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Music

So I have finally got my band list mostly in order.......

AC/DC

Alice Cooper

Amon Amarth

Anthrax

Arch Enemy

Arsis

As I Lay Dying

Babes In Toyland

Bad Company

Billy Idol

Biohazard

BLS

Black Sabbath

Blind Melon

Blue Oyster Cult

Bolt Thrower

Brutal Truth

Bush

Candlebox

Candlemass

Cannibal Corpse

Carcass

Carnal Forge

Carnivore

Celtic Frost

Cinderella

Clutch

Coal Chamber

Collective Soul

Corrosion of Conformity

Cradle of Filth

Crowbar

Cryptopsy 

Danzig

Darkest Hour

Darkthrone

Days of the New

Death

Death Angel

Dethklok

Deeds of Flesh

Def Leppard

Deftones

Deicide

Dismember

Dissection

Divine Heresy

Dokken

Dying Fetus

Dystopia

Entombed

Everclear

Exodus

Five Finger Death Punch

Flyleaf

Foghat

Forbidden

Full Devil Jacket

GWAR

Glenn danzig

God Forbid

Great White

G n R

Hatebreed

Helloween

Hole

Iced Earth

In this Moment

Iron Maiden

Job For A Cowboy

Judas Priest

King Diamond

Krisiun

Lazz Rocket

Lacuna Coil

Led Zeppelin

Lita Ford

Machine Head

Manevolent Creation

Marilyn Manson

Mastodon

Megadeth

Meshugga

Metal Church

Metallica

Moonspell

Morbid Angel

Mortician

Motorhead

Motley Crew

Napalm Death

Nightwish

Nile

Nirvana

Obituary

Opeth

Otep

Ozzy

Pantera

Pearl Jam

Poisonblack

Prong

Queensryche

Quiet Riot

Ratt

Scorpians

Sepultura

Seven Mary 3

Silverchair

Six Feet Under

Skid Row

Skinless

Slaughter

Slayer

Slipknot

Sodom

Soundgarden

Stone temple Pilots

Suffocation

Ted Nugent

Tesla

Testament

The Berzerker

The Cult

The Faceless

The Haunted

The Red Chord

The Smashing Pumpkins

Theater of Tragedy

Through the Eyes of the Dead

Tool

Trivium

Twisted Sister

Type O Negative

Ugly Kid Joe

Unearth

Van Halen

Veruca Salt

Vital Remains

Warrent

White Lion

White Zombie

Whitesnake

Winger

Yngwie Malmsteen

Zakk Wylde

 

 

 

7:37 PM 
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Friday, February 22, 2008 

Current mood:  understimulated
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes
Man I am so bored with life in general right now. Thank god for my friends, I think with out them I would go completely INSANE. I need something more in my life. I mean I know that life is not all ways fun and games, trust me I do know this, But shouldnt there be something to look forward to. I find myself looking forward to getting drunk just because when im drunk im not quite so bored. THIS IS NOT GOOD! I need a hobby. That or I just need to get the fuck out of Maine. Yes I love my state, but I do not take well to bordom. The only thing keeping me here are my friends and family. I love my family and almost could not bare living away from them. At this point though "outside" is looking pretty god damn good. I know I would miss everyone terribly but I am seriously thinking of just taking off. Boston or surrounding areas maybe.....Some where I can go to school, get a decent job, and put Aftyn into a decent school. I need a change in the worst way. Well I guess Im just rambling now so thats it.
Currently listening:
Sin City
By Genitorturers
Release date: 07 April, 1998
2:13 AM 
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Wednesday, December 12, 2007 

Current mood:  adventurous
Category: School, College, Greek
So I have changed my major. Yeah I know "I" changed my mind, big surprize there. I have decided that I am going to follow a life ling passion I guess you could say, and go with Biology. Science was my best subject in high school and is still a major intrest of mine. Why I didn't start there in the first place I dont know. If I am going to put this much effort into a career it better satisfy me for years to come. I can not think of anything more satisfing than being outside everyday, working with wildlife, and protecting  their homes. Well besides being on tour with a kick ass bad, but lets be realistic here.
3:29 AM 
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Tuesday, November 06, 2007 

Current mood:  exhausted
Category: Music
So last night was my first Gwar experience...........it was completely fucking AMAZING! Who could have thought get getting drenched in blood (and various other fluids) could be so ummm........spiritual LOL.  I know one thing for sure I WILL NEVER MISS A GWAR SHOW! If you have never seen them and are into metal I HIGHLY recomend making it a point to behold their glory before you die.
Currently listening:
War Party
By Gwar
Release date: 26 October, 2004
4:21 PM 
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Tuesday, October 16, 2007 

Current mood:  disappointed
Category: Romance and Relationships

EVANESCENCE LYRICS

"Missing"

Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
Maybe someday you'll look up,
And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:
"Isn't something missing?"

You won't cry for my absence, I know -
You forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant...?
Am I so insignificant...?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?

[Chorus:]
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?

Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
I know what you do to yourself,
I breathe deep and cry out,
"Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?"

[Chorus]

And if I bleed, I'll bleed,
Knowing you don't care.
And if I sleep just to dream of you
I'll wake without you there,
Isn't something missing?
Isn't something...

[Chorus]

1:16 PM 
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Wednesday, September 12, 2007 

Current mood:Proud
Category: School, College, Greek
So I finally did it! I enrolled myself in college. Who would have thought 5 or 6 years ago that I would ever care that much about my self. My duaghter has alot to do with it to. I want to her to see a strong woman everyday. But its so much more than that. For the first time in my life I think, I am happy with me and who I am. Nothing else matters. I want to make a life for my family and myself and nothing will stop me. Who ever said pride is a sin was a fucking idiot.
Currently listening:
The New Order
By Testament
Release date: 25 October, 1990
7:11 AM 
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Monday, September 10, 2007 
What 80's Metal Band are you? (with pics)
Slayer
Slayer
You are Slayer. You love death, destruction and blood. Speed metal and screaming. Sweat and metal.

Take the quiz!
myYearbook.com
9:26 PM 
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Monday, May 07, 2007 

And in this world I seek the Unique

Take me Away

Make the Bland Fade

Open my Door

Turn on the Light

HOLY SHIT I think Im losing this Fight

As I step the the Left

And then to the Right

Front

And then

Back

I Wonder why my Favorite Color is Black

Blah

Blah

FUCKING BLAH

Each day is the same

BUT

At least every BEAT is not LAME

6:28 PM 
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Monday, February 26, 2007 

YEA!!!

All I have to say is "Its about Fuckin Time". I finally got my OWN place......Yes thats right all by myself. I mean my other half will have to help with expenses but other than that I got myself covered. The place is absolutley beatiful. I can see the river from the living room and my bedroom. There are lots of kids in the neighborhood for my duaghter to play with. The most important place is that she will have a Safe and Clean place to play. I cant wait to give her a cute girly room. I fell like things might be turning around for me. Like I said before "ITS ABOUT FUCKING TIME" I have been working my ass off (unfortunalty not litteraly, lol). Really I owe all this to one person other than my self. My boss. She has given me so much oppertuninty in the last say 2 months or so. She has put blind faith in me. I didnt think people like that still exsisted. Shes a great person and I owe alot to her. I want to get her a nice gift. ANY IDEAS? School is going good Ive had 2 quizzes and 1 assignment so far all of which Ive made 100% Woo HOO! Once again thanks to the Boss Lady! not the grades but school in general the grades are all me baby. Im just proud of myself and wanted to share that. There are still good people left in this world and hard work really does pay off.

3:45 PM 
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