Hey, you guys. I just got the sickest new gold boots to wear in Battle For Milkquarious (my new rock opera masterpiece.) I don’t want to take them off. You know what? I’m not going to. I’m sleeping in them. One quick glass of milk, followed by 8 hours of super-slumber. I’ll bet I have dreams about the highest high kicks and rocking my moves on planets that haven’t even been discovered yet.

Check out the Battle For Milkquarious trailer and have some sweet rock dreams of your own.

Nighty night

What's the one thing I love more than a shredlicious solo on the One Gallon Axe followed by a restorative glass of the choco milky? Playing video games, of course. And I couldn't be more amped to let you know about one I just created for you to sip and rip upon.

I call it Thrashteurizer and get this: you get to be me. Your main man, White Gold. It's a killer music game where you try to rack up as many pints as possible by playing my songs. You can even score some cool prizes (including a pretty killer Gibson electric guitar I wouldn't mind having as my own).

Play Thrasteurizer Now 

They can't seem to get enough of me and the twins down in Rio. Warm beaches and sold out coliseums aren't bad either. Love the feelin' of some warm sand on my glorficatious toenails.

A few months ago, we headlined this amazing benefit show. And during my "Is it me or do you love my hair?" solo,I plucked a new note out of thin air halfway between A flat and G sharp. I called it the White G(A new note that hasn't been played in a millennium or two I bet).

Apparently, musicologists (Is that pronounced with a hard "o" or a soft "o") go nuts when you beat them to a new note. This one dude from Berkeley has been protesting my crib 24/7. I invited him in for a glass of milk. Talked it out.

Final word. Don't dwell on the success of others and find your own note dude!

I love hitting the sack and getting a taste of dairy dream time. Gotta recharge the White Gold Battery daily.

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Sorry, fell asleep on my computer.

So Check it. Last night, I dreamt that I was my hair, No body, No head, just a ton of hair. So I'm doing interviews, playing shows. Dating celebrity hairs two or three at a time.Yah know!?

So I am still my hair right? And I am hanging pool-side and I get this call. Hairweek Magazine’s editors need me for a cover shoot ASAP.

I rush to the set and the flashbulbs start popping. I got this feeling inside my roots that I'm entering epic mode. Say hello to the industrial fan. It's so on!. My hair is feeling it, flowing it. *ENTER INTO A FOLLICLE TRANCE* I finally come to and I'm lying awake in my bed.

I never did see the cover of Hairweek Magazine, but I guarantee my hair looked great.

So, I'm cruising down Sunset, some dude says, "Yo man, you look just like White Gold." My mind says "In the flesh", but my mouth says, "You think so?" Anyway, I shake my lustrous main, flash my milky whites and make his dream come true.

Sure its just another day, nuthin' special. But then my brain starts buzzin'. Dairy Doppelganger time. What if someone did look like me? Could he paint a story with the One Gallon Axe like me?

It made me ponder, Am I even White Gold? Course. And I realized I'm more than just chiseled features and flowing hair. What I'm trying to say is, my milky me-ness comes from within. Deep trip man. Check out these pics of dudes that look like me.

We're on the set of "Is it me or do you love my hair?" I'm stretching the musculature. Flexing follicles. Tuning my teeth off. Pretty standard stuff.

We're filming next door to the set of Jungle Ruckus III. And I hear a knock at my trailer door.

JRIII's star Nicky Biscuits is at my door. He's wearing a leather vest, aviator sunglasses and he's scratching his butt. Did I mention he's an 8 yr old orangutan? Puffy face, scraggly red hair, you know the type. So I offer him a hand and he climbs in. We're watching the latest cut and he goes bonkers. pouring milk everywhere. Berserker. By the end of the video he's hanging off my flat screen. He gives me a high five and we chill. Opposable thumbs rule.

Check out the new video.

Great news friends, fans, and nappers – I just put our hit single, "Dr. Dairywiggle's Luxurious Lullaby Ride into the Creamy Cave of Wonderment," up on our page for you. For me. For free. To download for your bad self. Seriously. Before I change my mind and take it back. Nah, I couldn't do that to my fans. I'm just paying it forward. Or backward, depending on which hemisphere you call home (the toilets really flush the other way down under.)

It's a funny story actually, how I channeled this little diddy. I was campin...I had just put back an entire canteen of the white stuff under the starry skies of Bakersfield and I dozed off. As usual, I was dreamin of unicorns and sashimi. I woke up the next morning well-rested and buzzin from all the fresh air. I look down, and the complete lyrics to "Dr. Dairywiggle's Luxurious Lullaby Ride into the Creamy Cave of Wonderment" are tucked under my pillow. In my handwriting!

There's a power greater than me behind this song. MILK. Or else the tooth fairy has been taking guitar lessons and forging my handwriting. But most likely, it's milk.

I showed the lyrics to Skimberly and Wholena, we wrote some beats, and two days later the song was recorded.

So, yeah. I know I've been a little MIA these days. Well, I know where I am, because I keep good track of myself. Usually. But you don't know. Unless I tell you. Or you're a spy. Or you read it in the tabloids. (But don't believe everything you read. Last week they said I was dating nine girls at once. Nonsense. Who do they think I am? It's way closer to eleven.)

So let's see… Recently, we've been in Des Moines, New York, Vancouver, the Milky Way and your eardrums. Phew. And NOW, in addition to iTunes, we're also on Amazon.com! And a bowling team. Called The Incredibowls. My teammate wanted us to be called "Split Ends," but I was like, oh hellz no. Nobody knocks these locks.

So I bet you're wondering how we're able to be in all these places at once, right? Simple, my friends. With milk, all things are possible. Even telekinesis. And personalized bowling balls.

Rock Fans,

White Gold, the man, the myth, the milk legend, me, had a little sweepstakes thing going on my fan page. I'm sure you heard about it, but if not, the deal was if you sign up and become one of my California Fans, you might win a prize. Win the One Gallon Axe? - you wish. But the prizes were pretty sweet. An iPod Touch (worth about $325 bucks, or tons of milk), a $100 Apple Gift Card or $50 Apple Gift Card.

Well my friends and fans, more than 1,100 of you joined and had a chance to win but I had to choose just three. It was hard to choose, harder than pouring out a glass of milk gone sour, but I did it. These fans loved seeing me on TV, and they loved me even more online. A hearty glass of 2% to you.

iPod Touch Cheyne Ellette Pomona, CA
$100 Apple Gift Card Melissa DeHaas Los Angeles, CA
$50 Apple Gift Card Marcos Amezcua Long Beach, CA


Keep rocking in the fat-free world!

WG