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You can only reply to the blogentries here if you are a registered 'MYSPACE' user...' Go to www.myspace.com and click on 'sign up' This blog will involve issues of a 'transgendered nature' If you feel offended by this theme, then i advise you to PLEASE leave my blog!



Zohra

Zohra Boelhouwers


Last Updated: 5/12/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: Single
Age: 38
Sign: Leo

City: Rotterdam
State: Netherlands
Country: NL
Signup Date: 10/14/2005

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Thursday, November 24, 2005 

Current mood:  annoyed
For those who  visit my profile and blog and DONT know what it actually is TO BE TRANSSEXUAL this explanation!!!

What Transsexuality Is:
Definition, Cause, and History
 
INTRODUCTION:

Transsexuality, also termed 'Gender Dysphoria' is now reaching the point of being reasonably well understood, though many myths and general foolishness about the subject still abound. This document concerns the classic definition of transsexuality, as defined by Benjamin, Money, Green, and so forth. Intersexuality and transgenderism will not be addressed other than obliquely.

IN A NUTSHELL: This is about standard, classical transsexuality.
 

SUMMARY DEFINITION:

Gender Dysphoria, literally a misery with regard to gender, is the condition of being in a state of conflict between gender and physical sex.

A transsexual is a person in which the sex-related structures of the brain that define gender identity are exactly opposite the physical sex organs of the body.

Put even more simply, a transsexual is a mind that is literally, physically, trapped in a body of the opposite sex.

IN A NUTSHELL: Transsexuality means having the wrong body for the gender one really is.
 

GRAND OVERVIEW:

Gender and Sex are very separate things, though the terms are often considered interchangeable by the less aware. Sex is physical form and function while Gender is a component of identity. There can be considered to be some legitimate overlap in that the brain is structured in many sex-differentiated ways, and the brain is the seat of identity. However, with regard to the dilemma of the transsexual, the difference between sex and gender are at the very core of the issue.

A transsexual person, born to all appearance within a given physical sex, is aware of being of a gender opposite to that physical sex. This conflict, between gender identity and physical sex, is almost always manifest from earliest awareness, and is the cause of enormous suffering. It is common for transsexuals to be aware of their condition at preschool ages.

This agony can and does lead to self destruction unless treated. The incredible difficulties that surround achieving treatment are themselves often agonizing, the sum total of which can play havoc with the lives of the gender dysphoric. Indeed, it is apparent that some fifty percent of transsexuals die by age 30, usually by their own hand. This morbidity is known as the
 

50_font> Rule
 
Being a transsexual is not something that can be ignored or suppressed forever. Unlike the facinations of  the crossdresser or the partially altered transgenderist, the absolute compulsion of classical transsexualism is a matter of life and death. Social oppression, culturally indoctrinated shame, self loathing, and bigotry slaughter transsexuals. With treatment and support, comes survival and a successful life. The success rate for the treatment of transsexuals is among the highest in medicine.

Transsexuality occurs roughly equally in both physical males and physical females, and is caused by factors (such as a critically timed hormonal release caused by stress in the mother, or by the presence of hormone mimicking chemicals present during critical development) which interfere with fetal development. Transsexuality occurs independently of sexual orientation, and occurs in humans and in other animals, such as apes, monkeys, dogs, cats, rats, and mice, among those studied.

The standard treatment for a diagnosis of transsexuality is to reassign the transsexual to a physical sex congruent with their gender identity, a process involving the administration of appropriate hormones and surgery. The success of this treatment is exceedingly high, and many transsexuals go on to live successful lives. 

Although transsexuality is not the same thing as homosexuality, the two can sometimes occur in conjunction with each other, and there is evidence that both are created by the similar mechanisms, in utero.

Transsexuality differs greatly from the commonly - and erroneously - associated terms "Crossdressing" or "Transvestitism", as well as "Transgenderism".

Whereas transsexuality is concerned primarily with gender identity and the correction of physical form to fit that identity, transvestitism is primarily a sexual fetish that occurs after puberty, and the transvestite has no desperation to redress a physical incongruity. The transvestite gains satisfaction from appearing as the opposite sex only, and the behavior is apparently not rooted in a biological, pre-natal basis, but is learned. Transvestitism, unlike transsexuality, primarily is the activity of males.

A recent term in usage is "Transgenderism", essentially an empty word conjured up as a neutral label for any individual not conforming to common social rules of gender expression. The term was created to help unite very disparate individuals under a vague commonality of interest in gender, in order to provide a basis for mutual benefit and support within an often violently antagonistic society.

Transgenderism can refer to those who crossdress, those who are intersexed, those who live in the opposite societal role of their physical sex, those who play with gender expression for any purpose whatsoever, and transsexuals as well. While there is potentially great survival benefit in this mutual association labeled as 'transgenderism', the primary function is social and political, and not clinical, despite the efforts of some to legitimize this essentially meaningless term.

The exact number of transsexuals in any given population will probably never be accurately known (the best current estimate is one per 30,000). Because transsexuality is most commonly caused by stress-related hormonal changes in the womb, the number of transsexuals in any society would logically flux, based on the current state of affairs within a generation. There is evidence that more transsexuals are born during times during or following war, for instance. Even so, the condition is fairly rare.

Several interesting physical and mental indications have been statistically shown to occur in relation to transsexuality. One factor is intelligence, the transsexual is on average two standard deviations in intellect greater than the base population, and one standard deviation higher than those defined as homosexual.  This probability of high intelligence is currently not explained, though there are suggestions that it may be the result of the unique and somewhat mixed brain 'wiring' of the transsexual, who may benefit from a combination of male and female structures or functions.

Another curious correlation is creativity, transsexuals tend to possess a high degree of artistic and general creative ability.

Transsexuals commonly show some physical indications of their condition that may cause trouble for them from parents or peers.
The male-to-female transsexual may be slow to develop male sex characteristics such as body hair, voice change, and overall physical development compared to the general population. The Female-to-Male Transsexual may display evidence of masculinization of bone structure, hair, or voice. These traits are generally very subtle, but often present.

There is tremendous social bigotry -and often outright violence- expressed towards the transsexual, and this often makes the life of the transsexual very difficult. Some transsexuals who have completely successful in transition to the appropriate sex therefore choose varying degrees of secrecy about their state and history. Other transsexuals never succeed in transforming physically to the point of being undetectable as transsexuals, and tend to suffer accordingly.

Transsexuals suffer many hurdles to achieve their required correction of the error of their birth. They must face society, the medical establishment, the common loss of all family and friends, the cost of treatment, the extreme difficulty of the required 'half-way' phase of transition which may last up to two years, and the inner turmoil of self-doubt and conditioned self loathing of their condition. It has been estimated (in 1981) that about 50o not survive the malady, ending up dead by the age of 30, usually by their own hand. Almost all of this morbidity is attributed to the additional burden caused by the violent unacceptance of society, the rejection of family and friends, and the inability to find decent care.

The drive that motivates the transsexual is essentially a matter of life and
death.
 
IN A NUTSHELL: Transsexuals suffer because they are trapped in a body of the wrong sex. This hurts so much that they are driven to fix that problem, or die trying. Transsexuality begins in the womb and occurs in many animals besides man. Transsexuality and homosexuality seem to share a common prenatal causality, but are not the same thing. Transsexuality is sometimes associated with things it is not really related to, such as crossdressing, for social or political reasons.
 

The Natural History Of Transsexuality:

Since transsexuality is caused by hormonal alteration of the nervous system of developing fetuses, and occurs in perhaps all mammalian species, it would be reasonable to infer that it has been around for a very long time. Indeed, since birth defects in general are just part of nature, it would be unthinkable to imagine an era of Man devoid of transsexuals. We have always been, and from time to time, history has recorded that fact.

The only clues we have of paleolithic transsexuals would be by considering the societies of aboriginal peoples still living with stone age technologies. The few left remaining on the earth, in the rain forests of South America, or the remaining unspoiled lands of Africa, all have reverential positions for the transsexuals that are born to them. In such societies, Transsexuals are considered magical, kin to the gods or spirits, and possessed of shamanic powers.

Every society in history has had some name, role or way of relating to the transsexual, from ancient Canaan and Turkey to India, even to the present day.

Examples abound. For instance, in ancient Rome existed the 'Gallae', Phrygian worshipers of the Goddess Cybele. Once decided on their choice of gender and religion, physically male Gallae ran through the streets and threw their own severed genitalia into open doorways, as a ritualistic act.
The household receiving these remains considered them a great blessing. In return, the household would nurse the Gallae back to health. The Gallae then ceremoniously received female clothes, and assumed a female identity. Commonly, they would be dressed as brides, or in other splendid clothing.

In India, ritual practices for transsexual individuals continue to the present day. Called Hijiras, this sect also worship a Goddess, and undergo a primitive sort of sex reassignment surgery. The Hijiras are treated in a rather hypocritical fashion within Indian society however, in that they are both despised and revered at the same time. Hijiras often are paid to attend a bless weddings, and to act as spiritual and social advisors, but are also shunned as less than worthy eunuchs. Yet in other circumstances, such as social situations, they are accorded the status of true females.

The Dine, or Navajos of the southwest United States, recognize three sexes instead of only two. For the Dine, there are Males, Females, and Nadles, which are considered somewhat both and neither. While those born intersexed or hermaphroditic are automatically considered Nadle, physically 'normal' individuals may define as Nadle based on their own self-definition of gender identity. The Nadle once possessed far greater respect before the Navaho were conquered  and their culture all but obliterated by the forced assumption of Catholicism.

Among the Sioux, the Winkte served much the same function, and individuals could assume the complete role of their preferred gender. Physical females lived as male warriors, and had wives, while physical males lived their lives completely as women. In Sioux society no special magic was associated with this, it was just considered a way of correcting a mistake of nature. Winkte would also perform primitive reassignment operations of a sort, and history records the process used by physical males: riding for days on a special hard saddle to crush the testicles and thus effectively castrate the individual.

Being transsexual in ancient cultures took a special form of courage too, even if society may have been embracing of the Transsexed!

Whether it is the Sererr of the Pokots of Kenya, the Xaniths of Islamic Oman, the Mahu of Tahiti, or even the Sekrata of Madagascar, the story is essentially the same: transsexuality was a fact of life, and a place in society was made for the gender dysphoric to be themselves.

The modern classification of transsexuality and the medical intervention of sex reassignment  was first attempted in Germany in 1930. Einar Wegener sought treatment and was operated upon. Afterwards, she lived as Lily Elbe, but alas not for long...the surgery had tragic complications. The first well known, surviving post operative transsexual was American ex-G.I. George Jorgensen, who became Christine Jorgensen in 1953. Christine became the center of a whirlwind of publicity despite an effort to avoid it, and had little choice but to capitalize on the misfortune. Christine became the first 'Media Transsexual' - or as some transsexuals put it 'Transie Martyr' , and suffered both the benefit and curse of fame. Christine starred in several hollywood movies as a result, and became celebrity enough to bring transsexualism out of the closet and into view of post-industrial society.

For decades only the rare individual physician dared treat the transsexual, while the mainstream medical community considered transsexuality to be a mere mental disorder without a biological basis. The first professional to truly try to help transsexuals with compassion and scientific study was Dr. Harry Benjamin. Dr. Benjamin carefully treated and studied the cases of transsexuals, essentially devoting most of his career to the project. The results of his carefully documented studies were published in 1966 in his book "The Transsexual Phenomenon". This work led directly to the benefits that we modern transsexuals enjoy, for it opened the door to serious study of the condition. Currently, the worldwide Harry Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria Association continues his work, and helps to set standards of care for the treatment of transsexuals by the medical establishment.
 
Recent study of brain functioning has shed important light on the causes of transsexuality, and surgical techniques as well as overall treatment continue to improve. Society is slowly becoming accepting once again of the inevitable transsexual in it's midst, and it may well be that the future will hold even greater help for the transsexuals born into future ages.

IN A NUTSHELL: Transsexuals have always existed. In the ancient world, transsexuality was both accepted and respected. Throughout the ages, transsexuals have attempted to correct the error of their bodies, with varying results. The modern, technological world at last provides a real chance for the transsexual to finally, truly correct the errors of Nature.
Tuesday, November 22, 2005 

Current mood:  content
Category: Romance and Relationships
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Two hearts in love...


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For those men who try to approach me via my MySpace profile and are hoping for some 'romantic contact with me' 'Sorry guys i have to dissapoint you all!!!', because right now i am EXTREMELY in love. The man i am in love with is so special and so gentle and so polite... even though he lives far from me, in another country, i believe our souls will be together soon and we will close eachother in our arms soon. I am so desperately in love with my man Bachir, the person who wrote the poem you see right under this entry.

My love Bachir, i am so desperate for you that i just can't wait until you come over to me in January, i am desperate for your kiss, i am dieing in your  arms, drowning in your eyes and warmed by your soul. I need your love so much and i want to give you al mine too...

I truly believe you are the ticket from the lottery, my love... my heart is with you, forever in flames. Burning like fire!

I know, I am terrible when i am in love... when love strikes me, i go mad... i want to be with the object of my desire. Inchallah hobi, we will be a couple forever! God will guide us! Hayati, omri, rohy, alby, habibi ana... ana Bahibak Omri!!!

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Zohra

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Monday, November 21, 2005 

Current mood:  cheerful
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The Sweetest Thing!!!

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See what my sweetheart wrote for me above. He wrote me this lovely poem and i edited it in Paint Shop Pro and made a nice creation of it!

Now i need to figure out what these french words mean

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Sunday, November 20, 2005 

Current mood:  excited
Category: Religion and Philosophy

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Being a Transsexual in Jordan!!!

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I've met a really sweet person from Jordan. Her name is Diana. Diana is not an ordinary woman, Diana  was born male in the Kingdom of Jordan. Jordan is an islamic country, though it is one of the most liberal countries with muslim religion. But, Diana is not able to go through her transition in Jordan because in the Middle-East transsexualism is not accepted (yet) because most people still consider transsexuality the same as HOMOSEXUALITY wich is 'HARAM' (TABOO) in The Qur'an. Muslims consider homosexuality as forbidden by Allah. Some hadiths tell about 'men who act like women should be banned and punished'. But in my point of view this hadith is referring to transvestites and crossdressers and NOT to transsexuals - At the time the Holy Qur'an was written, there wasn't even a thing such as 'transsexuality' - rather then Transsexuals, Cuz, for transsexuals it is not 'acting' but 'being' woman. In the view of the Qur'an people are born as SOULS. The soul decides the 'GENDER' of a person and NOT the body. The body will be just 'the shell that surrounds the soul'. In this way, men are allowed to have a sexe-change and become women and live according to the rules of 'being a muslimwoman'.  When a person is BORN as a MAN and ACTS like a woman, his GENDER is not FEMALE but MALE, because it's just ACTING, but with transsexuals the souls (and genders) are 'FEMALE' and not MALE compared to TRANSVESTITES and CROSSDRESSERS who mainly dress up for the fun of it and many times just for some sexual fetish or some other need to dress up.

Anyway, Diana was visiting Holland for a workshop or traininig for her profession and we were supposed to meet up, because she is going to have her SRS in Thailand. She needed some pictures of her as a woman and she requested me to apply her makeup for her and style her to look at her  best as a woman! She needed to look passable and send her pictures to the clinic in Thailand! In Jordan, where she lives, it's impossible to live as a woman, when you are born male. This is what she told me. She would lose everything she has, her job, her house, her family, if she would proceed her transition in jordan, because most of the people overthere are very ignorant and not educated about transsexuality and transgenderism. She would be compared with homosexuals and would have to live her life in poverty and loneliness and being bashed everywhere she appears as a woman.

Unfortunately her schedule was too busy to actually meet me, but she told me, in about three months she would come back to Holland again for a funtrip and then we would have more time to spend some quality time. I really wanna help my sisters from the middle-east to look as good as they can. I believe we are in this world to help eachother and this is exactly what i plan to do. Diana has become a close friend of mine over the MSN messenger and i really feel like i should help her with her transition.

After her visit to The Netherlands she was so delighted about spending time here and the freedom she felt, that she plans migration to Holland. I really hope for her she will succeed and that it will be possible for her to find a job her and relocate. I will help her anyway i can. Soon her personal story will be placed her on my blog. I hope you will all read it and leave Diana a nice comment!!!

Sweet Sister Diana, i really wish you all luck and happiness with your transition...

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Saturday, November 19, 2005 

Current mood:  tired
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Tired!!

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Today i am very tired. I have been working my ass off the last couple of days to pimp my space, blog and group and now i am so tired i only wanna sleep. Last night i went to bed around 01:30 and got up at 12:00 but still tired. So i guess i will have a lazy day today and just enjoy myself in peace! Watching some videos, reading some books or comics and just "BE". I'm thinking a lot about my new love. I think i can call his name now. His  name is BACHIR and he is the most wonderful man i have ever met over the internet. Where most men just start to talk about my tits and ass, this man stays so polite and full of respect. I hate the fact that he lives so far away in algeria from me, but i wanna give it a try really. I wish to close him in my arms soon and that he closes me into his arms as well. I am in desperate need of love after being alone for 34 years (as long as  i live)  and being hurt by numerous men!

Finally i want something STEADY!!!

If you visit this blog and you are not registered at 'MSPACE.COM', where this blog is hosted, but still want to leave comments to the journal entries here, then leave your comments in the guestbook please!

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Thursday, November 17, 2005 

Current mood:  ecstatic
Category: Romance and Relationships

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Heart on fire...

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For a while i decided to give up on love. My past experiences with men didn't make me think really positive about them. So far i was nothing more then just a sex-tool in the eyes of 'admirers' and my heart was in love so many times and i always wished for so much more then only some hot moment. I never succeeded. Until now...

A couple of days ago i've been approached via the hi5-network by a wonderful and sweet man from Algeria. I won't mention his name here (yet) because i am not absolutely sure if he likes seeing his name here, but i feel like my heart is in flames and my body is trembling when we talk together. Compared to all other men, this man is a total difference. So sweet and such a gentleman Where others immediately tried to start 'hot sex-talk' with me, this man was only interested in my life and asked me so many things about myself. He was never experienced with Transsexuals or Transgender-women at all and i think so far he never even heared about the 'phenomenon'. He decided that he just liked me, because in his eyes i am a true woman, even though i haven;t had sugery yet... and in the days we are chatting and talking to eachother we have bcome closer and closer to eachother,  though he lives far away from me, i feel he is in my heart and close to me... but we can;t touch eachother yet cuzhe lives in another country. I am dieing to kiss him and hug him because i feel like we connect really well and i think we are both crazy for eachother. Next january he will come and visit me in my country and we will spnd some time together to find out how we connect in real life. 'B' is a muslim man with a sweet  and tender heart wich i feel i need to take care off.

'B' i hope we will stay in eachothers lives forever as lovers and possibly as husband and wife... and i hope you read this entry wich i dedicated just for you. I feel like you are special and i hope we will never lose our contact...

Since i know you

the dark paths of my life are light...

Since i heared your voice

the silence in my heart has dissapeared...

Since you stepped into my heart

it is forever in flames...

Dance with me, the dance of life...

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Tuesday, November 15, 2005 

Current mood:  content
Category: Blogging

Finally an update...

Since this morning been working to pimp my space, my group and my blog and the result may be there. I am very satisfied now with the look and feel of my online 'territory'. I hope lots of people will come to visit my places and leave me comments.

So far i haven't written a lot about myself here. Only posting some links and sites. I really didn't know what i wanted to do on 'My Space' cuz i have so many other sites already and so many people 'wanting to be my friend', BUT... i love to create and it's really addictive to create new sites, blogs, communities and so on and also to expand my global friends network. Actually i am on a personal mission for emancipation of the transgendered and transsexuals of this world. I am NOT LOOKING for hot lovers from every corner of the world. Believe me, my appointment scheduler is full already so for those who might be interested in dating me, please, don't try to. I am only interested in sincere people who want me for a REAL commitment and not for some 'bi-curious' guys or 'men who like to experiment with a T-girl'. I have only one body and dating the entire world would be a TOO BIG GANGBANG ! Damn, my poor ass and cheeks.

Anyway... if there is someone who visits my blog, and who is interested in the rest of 'MOI'. Please visit my other places on the net also:

:: Zohras Transsexual Realm  ::

My GROUP at MySpace

:: Zohras My Space Profile  ::

READ ALL ABOUT ME!!!

:: Zohras Tgirll Connection @ MSN groups  ::

The above MSN group is meant for DATING. For those who are TV/TG/TS/CD and for those who are interested in dating them. A complete MSN profile is required, with name, age, photo and a brief personal description about yourself!

:: Zohras Dutch Blog  ::

For the accidental Dutch visitor of this ENGLISH blog, visit the above link to see my official Dutch Blog!!!

Monday, October 24, 2005 

Current mood:  cheerful
Category: Friends

Today i started my own group here on 'My Space'. The name of my group is: 'Zohra's Transsexual Realm'. The adress of the group is:

http://groups.myspace.com/zohtrastranssexualrealm

Why have i created this group? Well, just because i wanna make it possibe for THOSE who are Transgendered and Transsexual, just like me, to find the love of their life. I have seen so many 'slick' and dirty perverted groups on the internet wich really made me VOMIT... i wanna make a difference with this group and make a safe place for those who are TG/TV/TS or SHEMALE to find a safe environment to DATE and find LOVE!

I also have an 'EVOICE'  messaging service:

If you feel like leaving me a personal message by VOICE then call the number: 0031-84.722.5501 to drop me a line. After speaking, click the'#' on your phone to send the message. Sweet messages are always welcome to me!

Visit my group please if you feel attracted to the TG-lifestyle!

Thursday, October 20, 2005 

Current mood:  annoyed
Category: Art and Photography

' I am cold on a bed of ice,

but like seasons i know it will pass!
It will always return again though... '
Monday, October 17, 2005 

Current mood:  bitchy
Category: Life

Hi there,

This will be my very first posting here. As you can see, this space is about my life as a PRE-OP transsexual woman. On this blog i will post stories about my life as a transsexual woman. It won't always be a happy blog to read, but many times it will be exiting also. Above all i hope you will enjoy reading my blog because it will be SOOO interesting to read about me

Being Transsexual is not always easy. I do so much my best to be a woman but most of the time people just see 'us kind of people' as 'transformed males'but this is not the issue.. the so called 'Tgirl admirers' make me sick They don't see me as a woman but just as some 'sexual fetish'. What it's like to be Transsexual, you can read here. This is it for now. When i get some inspiration, i will not hesitate to write about it!

Lots of love...

 

Zohra

PS: For my dutch visitors i have a dutch blog. Click here to visit it!