Reply to this blog with your name, and I will fill out whats below on you ;]

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me. (if possible!)
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wondered about you.
8. If you do this you MUST post this on yours. You MUST. It is written.

I know this is cruel of me... but I have the comic finished. And I'm holding out til tuesday to post it. Mainly because I want to give Michelle a chance to do the fan art (if she's got time) but also because tuesday will mark the 3rd monthaversary of the original story being written. It's really cool, though. And worth the less than three days of waiting. I hope.

My next project is to make some fan art for Michelle because I've been meaning to do that for a couple of months and I totally missed getting it done for her birthday.

Then TMNT fan art for the website.

Then... I dunnoh. Chut up!

So Yesterday and today (or the day before or whatever since it's after midnight) I went to the Dr. Martin sale that they have every year. I only ended up getting one pair but that's quite alright. I already have a pair from last time I've never worn except to try them on and two pair that are still in great condition. Anyways being around all those shoes I guess put me in sort of a one-track mind because I ended up thinking about how I've always wanted to design my own pair of shoes. Not just choose which color combinations I get but really design my ideal shoe. Or get pretty close. So I did just that. And here it is:

Well not those colors exactly. I call this one the blank canvas. See I want to actually make a bunch of these and I think I might be able to. This is the first pair I'm gonna make. So far things look good. I've found some helpfull videos on youtube about shoe repair and I even made a paper and cardboard version of it that nearly looks like a real shoe. All I need to do is get some styrofoam for the sole and then I'll take pictures and post up here. Heres another design... this one's a little cheesy, though:

I know, I know. They look like chucks ripoffs. But I really like chucks. I just don't like how they fit. I've always been dissapointed with the toe part for one thing. One of my goals is to make a cooler and much larger toe part. Also, I'm adding that back part, making the soles out of tires, putting carpet on the inside (for reals), cutting the shapes on it sharper (less curves) and most importantly making them fit looser than chucks. So they fit but don't suffocate your feet. All around I'm hoping to make a chunkier shoe that makes you just feel cool as hell when you wear it.

Who knows when I'll get this going, though. I know I'm going to have a lot of stumbling blocks but I think I can pull this off. First things first, though. I have to make the template and then learn how to sew. 

Th comics blog doesn't even get this one... here's the first page. I'm most likely going to make a lot of edits but just so you get the general idea of how awesome this thing is gonna be:

So Matt informs me that he and Terry no longer trash talk eachother. Let's just get that clear. I made it seem like all they do is bitch about eachother but that's not what I meant. Infact they actually do other things like watch degrassi and draw cool pictures. They are not bad people. Even if Terry took me offa da list.

PNCA isn't the hell hole I make it out to be either. It's just that I wish I could just take what I want to take because I don't really care as much about the degree at this point. I just want to learn. I felt like I was stuck in all these beggining classes that I had already taken and that I was getting overwhelmed by all the assignments. And then all the teachers would tell me I'm not working up to my potential. It doesn't seem right to me to have to pay a lot of money to fail out of beggining classes because I just have too many boirng and uninfluential assignments. But really my problem is I'm lazy. I always feel like shit so I never want to do anything. I haven't even written my pen pal in Japan yet and it's been over a week. I'm even having trouble in my Japanese class now because of it. I get enough sleep. I just... I guess maybe I don't excersise enough or something. Anyone want to buy me a treadmill? Or maybe a stairmaster?

I'm still in a slump. Thank you to Nate and Marcy and Kyndra for cheering me up. I just need to stop reading into everything or whatever. Or actually go back on paxil or something. I don't really fucking know. All I know is I feel like shit and I really don't want to be just another friendless boring unfulfilled deadweight slacker. Anyways, I need to finish getting ready to go to international cllub and be too shy and socially akward to make any friends.

I'm thinking about visiting PNCA soon. Maybe Saturday. I'm going to let them know I'm not coming back. I feel like almost everyone either doesn't know me or doesn't like me there. I actually feel that everywhere I go. But I also feel like a handfull of people, the people I would have been friends with, resent the hell out of me. I'm guessing it's because of this comics anthology. A couple of those illustration kids have taken me off of their friends lists. I know it's just myspace but considering I used to think of them as friends really sucks that they would do that. I messaged one of them and he says that he still considers me a friend. I'm sure after I left and after I got in to the anthology they all sat there complaining about me. Mainly because Matt always complains about Terry and Terry always complains about Matt. Matt and Terry actually just spend a lot of time complaining about people. Bryan is still cool to me and my first year friends don't hate me. But there were times even we didn't get along. Mostly because of a stupid project where we had to rely on eachother for a grade. It'll be nice to see Yoshi and David if they are there. They are still my favorite teachers. I just feel so out of the loop in the portland comics scene. Apparently there was a comic book show that of course I didn't hear about until today... the day after it happened. I mean thank you Sam and Jeris for clueing me in and all. I just hate that if I would have spent all my money on gas and tuition and strained my relationship with Jenni by continuing to go to PNCA than I probably would have heard about it ahead of time from all those kids who can't stand me in the illustration department. I also hate how PNCA never gave me the same opportunities that BT has gotten. Thanks for accepting my anthology submission (no thanks for not getting back to me about it) but why is it that all of a sudden, after I leave that they decide to host student comics on the front page? I mean good for BT, I may not always like his craftsmanship, but I still think he's dedicated to what he's doing, usually has some good gags and jokes and deserves all the breaks he gets. I just wonder why I pretty much got ignored. I mean even Matt told me it sucked that I was leaving because I was super talented or whatever. So why didn't the school seem to care.

I had a nice cry in the shower because of all of this. Because I feel like I'm missing every big chance I can get to do anything with Comics. I mean yeah, BT is like 30 or something and it's taken him a while... but I guess I just wish I don't have to wait that long. I guess I just wish that I didn't see a boring suburban house in my future. I wish I didn't see myself always talking about my dreams but never fucking fulfilling them.

And I wish I had some friends. That actually like it when I'm around. I feel like if I were to get hit by a car now.... only a couple of people would care. I saw the yallow banner Mrs. Rice made for me when I got hit back in highschool. A lot of kids came from outside of that class and even from Evergreen (thanks Conner) to sign it. Now I just feel like I bother people. Like if I fell off the face of the earth the most I would get (aside from Jenni and my family) is "Hey where'd that Jordan kid go?"

Thank god for Jenni, though. If it weren't for her I probably would be at absolute rock bottom right now. And thank god for my brother too. It really means a lot that he actually pays attention to me. Actually reads these boring ass things. And the fact that he wants to make comics and kids books means a lot too. Even with my parrents around I'd probably feel completely invisable.

I really need some help getting out of this slump. I might go back on paxil. I just... I can't keep goin on like this. No job, no friends and nothin goin for me except the fact I can draw pretty good.