http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPnDGReYgmg

<3 hope you like it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fffum-YY7O8

was writing something last night in the wee hours... and found a video of my last trip to berlin... and for some reason, the mad and bumpy ride home just seemed to fit so well with how i felt...

Okay,

As i'm gearing up to release an album in the next 6 - 12 months * i know i know.. but albums are NEVER on time hehe*  i have tasked myself with a NUMBER of things to do and keep up on... so you'll have to nag me to keep me honest!  ;)
But of all those things.. i'm feeling like maybe these are the top for me.

1.  I want to start uploading some new clips of some of the tracks i'm working on... now i havent decided whether i want to do this in a regular blog, vlog, facebook, myspace, youtube or like.. 12seconds.com (which might be perfect for clips!) so... i'm totally open to suggestions?

2.  Need to beef up my Logic studio skills (why yes i DO <3 logic 8 even though we argue a lot and sometimes have little meltdowns).  I'm a former cubase user but with this new album... i'm really wanting to step out from behind the mic and work on the music side as well.  In a lot of ways, i guess as an artist you HAVE to keep growing or else... you cease to feel like you are making any progress at all...  I admit i get discouraged a lot since this part is really new to me... but i really do appreciate all the encouragement you throw my way.

3.  Holding off on touring for a while until my album is finished.  I know i keep getting a lot of requests, but honestly as an artist... i really feel like i want to bring SOOO much more to a performance than just a little PA with a few tracks in the middle of someone elses set.  After so many amazing live shows with Paul and the rest of the band... it is really impossible to think about going back to performing in any other way.. so i really hope everyone gets that and understands when i say no to a booking lol!

 I was talking to a good friend (and fellow musician) the other day about the albums we are both working on... and how its really interesting trying to capture a certain sound or feel while making the music open to all sorts of interpretations.  At the end i finally just said "as long as i'm writing music that is honest and truly reflects what i really feel... well.. thats enough for me"

At the end of the day.. i still think about that...

now to hope that you will all like it too ;)

Anyway, give me your comments and suggestions if you like!  What do you think is the best way?  Do you wanna hear some little ideas before theyre all properly cooked and on the table?!   : P

ash

Okay,

so it has been aaaages since i last updated anything, and i really should get a kick in the shins for that ;)

but to make it up to you all.... (drumrollllllll...........) i am working on my first solo album!

i know, i know... i have finally updated my studio and have been working industriously for the past month or so. i have to admit that some days it can be frustrating, others exhilarating, but i'm really excited to see what how all this is gonna turn out.

and i will TRY to keep up a little better on here for all of those who check up on me (you know who you are!)


best wishes to you all this week!

ash

how do you start again?

I just discovered that, almost all my music files... every tiny little idea I have created for.... god.... so many years...  everything is lost...

when you lose everything you were... how can you even begin to move forward?

I'm truly at a loss, with nothing to left to say....

ashley

So a glass and a half of wine and i'm working on a song tonight....

not feeling particularly eloquent where lyrics are concerned... but perhaps sometimes thats just the way life is... the things you don't want - you have in spades... and the things you do want.... are always just slightly beyond your reach... slightly out of your scope and sphere. 

unfortunately i guess i suffer from delusions of bohemian grandeur in my everyday life... i love the feeling of being somewhere on the fringe of that which is considered to be nice and normal, yet somehow i find my practical side always drags me under and i'm stuck with something a bit more mundane than i would prefer.

i've been thinking a lot lately about what i always dreamed my life would be a few years back, and i've been comparing it to what this feels like now.  although i have no complaints i really feel like there is so much of myself i am currently (and perhaps always will be) unable to express simply due to circumstance or fear or... maybe both...

but god some nights i lie in bed just thinking about all the things i want to say, and tonight is no different.

so this is a song for all the unspoken words... all the things that burn my heart that i cant bear to say... all the things i dream of that i fear will never come true.... this is for all the things we hold back though it breaks our soul to do it...

no words... just... a letter with all the ink smeared and words blotted out beyond recognition... 

So i've taken a week or so off from writing songs every night, and it has felt good to let a little time pass and let things start to build back up.

I think that is important sometimes when it comes to fueling the passion you feel for writing and creating.

So tonight i started out with a very simple little tune i was hitting on my guitar.  I have neglected my little guitar for a while now, so it felt quite wonderful to get back to her without worrying about much other than just letting my fingers slide up and down the strings.  And..... the first thing i heard in my head was the little bit about "i won't say im sorry anymore"

Its funny how so much of our lives and loves and relationships depend on this one single phrase.  Its the ultimate show of concern and connection when a person can honestly say they are sorry.  I have (many times) gotten myself into trouble because as soon as something goes wrong, those are the first words that spring to my lips, but by doing so, its almost like admitting ultimate guilt.

And in all truthfulness, i am always horribly sorry, sorry that things are hard, sorry i messed up, sorry that i caused any pain or sadness or discomfort.  So in many ways, this little phrase that popped into my head sort of surprised me.  To hear those words come to my lips was both a confirmation of my natural inclination to admit regret and assume blame, as well as a bit of self-reproach... reminding myself that in some ways, i'm such a fool for feeling such a need to make things better and make everyone happy...

Ahhh well.. in truth we are all such silly creatures.  Filled with any number of issues but always willing to add more.  But honestly, thats one of the most beautiful things...  the complexity we hold inside is what sets us apart... makes different from the rest

thoughts for the night ;)

ash

I guess I needed a few days off from music making this past week. 

I go through these times where I make something almost every night, but then I feel like everything has been drawn through me and out of me, and I need to let those emotions build up again.

I had a lot of fun making this one, mostly because I finally got to play my little classical guitar while doing it ;)

enjoy!

ash

I have to say I honestly appreciate the comments and messages all of you leave as a mark of support for me and what I do.

They are important to me, in the same way that it is important to me to weed out comments or pictures that honestly would make me feel uncomfortable if some of the younger members of my family were to see them (you know who you are lol!).

So out of respect for me, I hope you guys will understand if sometimes something you have posted doesn't make it on to my page.

Thanks so much everyone! 

ashley

 

So.... in a lot of ways I'm feeling like my old self again.

Insomniac extraordinaire, but even still, I can't help but feeling drawn each night to my little keyboard and mic... and I just feel this intense need to create something.  So I start with the basics... pouring through a multitude of soft-synths with my keyboard sitting in my lap as I search for the "perfect" sound.

Then all of a sudden, its as if the world ceases to be, and I start hearing music in my head.  But like any good girl, even fun things must be put away and I crawl toward bed only to find I'm staring at the ceiling above... and no matter how long I lie there, I can't seem to drift off.

But god knows this can't last forever....  let's just hope the creativity outlives my insomnia?

love you all...
and thank you so much for all your emails and support. 
it really does mean the world to me (even when sometimes it takes me ages to reply)

sweet dreams to everyone


ash