nothing.... im done crying over bull shit i have been though im tire everytime i take things so serious it gets fucked up and it hard to believe that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me.
Andrew told me he was and ass hole and he treats girls like shit and i just brushed it off like nothing i feel like i am always wrong always i do some really amazing things that i do for no one and i do things for him to get him to smile
i hate fucking being tore up into pices and hurting for this guy who clearing isnt working as hard as i am for him to be happy yea i am happy with him but i never know what is on his mind or even what he is doing he gets so mad at me if i want to spend tiime with friends i see every day
he goes to school too he sees hes friends all the time too and i try to work around his scedual to fit time for him in and i get no thanx for talking to me no sorrys for hurting me ya know i am a girl and i cant help i am a little emotional and i cant help it i have a life too i cant help it that i try so much to make you happy and obviously your not if you need weed i should be your fucking drug i quit poping pills and
ya know you told me you would stop smokeing week a week before i told you i would stop doing pills. you lied to me and thats that yea i lied to you too we are both at a cross roads here but for sometone who is right all the time this time i am right and i have put up, brushed off, and tried to forget everything he has done to make me cry, scream, hit things break things ugh im just fucking done you dont feel special well robb baby nor do i not now and probibly wont!
i love you and sorry i had to vent like that but i had to get it off my chest some how!
I Love you.
Jesse Lee 

For this polt of the life i live the book thats living proof. i'd like to say .... how do i put this nicely? FUCK ... well lets just say i have never been more happy with anyguy but robb there are somedays where he drags me down and completly squeses the shit out of my heart but see heres the bitter and quite selfish part i have done the same to him more than once. ... welcome to my world!

So the plot... My Mom, My Step dad [who i could careless about], and My Friends well some of them HATE robb. Now dont get me wrong i love them [well not michael] but they want me to be happy .... DUH i am. everyone fights. everyone hurts, bleeds and has something tragic or amazing that has happened to them to make them who they are to change them for the good or bad wether it is both or one.

The Objective of ones life is to be happier... ha ha once again i am i am learning and my mom doesnt want to share me to her robb is not only hurting me but she is also keeping me all to herself she dosent want anyone to take me from her. so my objective. to show her how good robb can be to me. telling her everything good he dose for me even the smallest little things. Even if she dosent want to hear it. he is good for me. He is. I dont care who thinks he isnt. I DONT GIVE A FUCK. if i want to be with him and he wants to be with me then why the hell do i care if you like him or not. because you dont deal with him you dont have to see him love him be with him or even like him. I do.

He makes me happy. deal with it. you dont have to like or agree with my decitions. but if your my friend at least be there for me even if everything i wanted falls apart. be there if you dont like my decitions then you can tell me but i shouldnt have to change them because your life your mind dosent approve of my decitions. im 17 now i have to learn things on my own. i have to experiance things for myself. even the worst of thing. heartbreaks, deaths, love and life everything happens for a reason. and life is hard already i cant even imagin how hard its going to be with out my highschool buddies, and my parents. but i hvae to lear on my own. and im very stubern so ill prolly try all the wrongs before i find the right but if it gets me to where i want to be then thats that. IF IF robb isnt the guy for me let me lear this on my own. dont tell me what you think i should do because honestly i could care less. i know robb is right for me. and if im wrong [which i know for damn sure at this point in my life he is right for me] then rubb it in my face later. but at this point in my teenage life of hormons and life long lessons of let downs and turn outs this right here... this mission is where i want to be, who i want to be, and exsacly what i want to be. so let me live my fucking life the way i want.

I know that every one dies but after about 5 funerals last year

i dont think i cant take another death. my grandma is my world i love her

i mean you cant help she is such a caring and faithful person

she is smart toght me how

to sow and incureged me to sing as much as i could

she told me storys that wont exscape my mind

she hants me dreams of her death it kills me inside

and i love her oh so much

i would never want to see her in yet another hospital bed

nor would i want to see her on her last bed.

i saw my papaw for the last time on that bed

i dont call it death bed anymore

i call it the last bed because thats the last bed you see them in

its the last bed on earth they will lay and decaye on

and every time i think about i cry and its so hard to show

people there is nothing wrong but now days my sleve is on my sholder

and my grandmas loss of thought and memories sometimes

i think to myself should i ask her if she remembers the times

before i go to sleep her playing with my hari as she tells me

of her amazing history of her long lived life

of almost 80 years. i love her so much she has always been in my life

and when she is gone where will i be???

what will i do???

how will i react???

these are the questions that linger in my mind

but the most important question...

what will my mom do, and how could i help her???

could i help her???

Remeber, Remeber ther 5th of november the gun powder teason and plot

i no of no reason why the gun powder treason should ever be forgot!

no one should be afirad to come forward about how they feel and no one should be scared that someone might want to change them and no one should change inless its for a good reson there should never be surpizes because you should already exspect them and be ready for wen they come and be amazingly happy and comforted all the time and fight lots but at the end of ever fight there should always be a look that exsplians how sorry both ppl are in the realtion ship truthfull i want to fight have disagreements and arguments it make the relationship stronger and i want things to not only apper as they seem but deep inside they always have a twist! i want something like that  as a relation ship!