Officer McCrea,
On the night of November 4th, after you put me into the back of your police vehicle, I started crying. You- seemingly shocked to see a grown man cry- asked me why I was crying. With a state of desperation drowning my Consciousness and my throat being choked by tears, I was unable to answer your question. I could only shake my head at your blurred haze of an image. I cried all the way from the 7/11 on Darbydale Avenue, to where you let me out of your vehicle, at 14344 Westminister Lane, in Dale City, Virginia . I was still weeping an hour after you left, sprawled on the floor in my room, as my friend knocked on the door trying to see if I was alright. No! I wasn't alright! And you, Officer McCrea, along with the two policemen sent as back-up, triggered this emotional eruption.
It all started as I was leaving the 7/11, eating a burrito and you approached me saying I fit the description of someone trying to steal a vehicle parked on Westmont Drive in the Dale Forest apartment complex. I denied the allegation, saying that I had my own vehicle and had decided to walk to the 7/11 to get some food. I asked you what time the incident occurred and you told me around 7 pm, yet it was between 9:30 and 10:00 pm when you stopped me. I told you that I was at home during that time and that you could dust the vehicle for fingerprints to see if any matched mine. I assured you none would.
At that time I noticed two police cars pull up next to yours. You then asked me if I had any weapons or drugs and I told you no. Obviously my word wasn't good enough and you told me to put my hands up against the wall even though I was using them to eat my burrito. I was searched, while people entered and exited the 7/11. After neither weapons nor narcotics were found, you accused me of being drunk in public. I told you I had some beer a while ago, but in no way was I anywhere close to being over the legal limit. I even requested a breathalyzer. The request was denied and you told me you were going to give me a ride home. I specifically told you I wanted to walk yet you insisted saying I was too intoxicated to walk there. I know you would have "arrested" me if I ignored your allegations and started heading home, so I ended up in the back of your cruiser, a prisoner apprehended by your unproven accusations. That's when my sinking Soul submerged into a salty state of sobbing.
Normally, I would never cry around another person, but for some reason, I just couldn't hold back my tears; and, all you could do was ask me why I was crying, obviously unable to consider my pain of being humiliated for something I didn't do or even able to consider the grief I felt when you took away my human rights to liberty and the pursuit of happiness, just by you forbidding me from walking home.
The worst part about the situation is that I sensed you really didn't care why I was crying- you just wanted me to stop because for some reason it was bothering you. My intuition tells me my sobbing upset you because deep inside your heart, you knew you were wrong in your treatment towards me, yet you were unable to apologize due to the desensitization some in law enforcement have in regard to degrading and dehumanizing citizens under their authority.
You weren't there to comfort me through my emotional pain. You can't fathom a molecule of how I felt. Your relationship with me ended the moment you let me out of your cruiser and watched me ascend the stairs into my complex. You didn't sustain any blows to your character, nor face any negative side-effects like I did when I went to the 7/11 the next day, and the cashier asked why I was arrested. In shock, I just shrugged numbly, collected my change and left the store. On my way out, I felt the uncontrollable urge to cry again, but I maintained composure through God's Grace.
Officer McCrea, I know this letter can never change the past, but I feel deep within my heart, these words will make a positive change in the present. They already have, even though the change is only in this minute microcosm that I call my Life. It has given me the opportunity to address a wrong, while simultaneously relieving a stressful burden. Officer McCrea, I pray this letter will also make a change in your Life, starting with you acknowledging the fact that if you were wronged by me, you would expect me to at least admit it and also apologize for it. How can a wrong be righted if it's never brought to light? Hopefully, these words will cause you to slide your feet into my shoes and stir you to walk a mile in them- your empathy reaching its fullest height right at your very last step. Suddenly, your Soul jerks back into its body. Abruptly you awaken, knowing you wouldn't want to be treated the way you treated me. With that epiphany, now it's time to heal, as the winds blow, spreading seeds of Compassion.
Sincerely yours,
Sid Solo