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~*~Sami~*~

Samantha Moore

Last Updated: 11/21/2009

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Gender: Female
Age: 25
Sign: Libra

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Blog Archive

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February 10, 2008 - Sunday

Celebrity Morph™ by MyHeritage

www.myheritage.com

1:24 PM

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January 17, 2008 - Thursday

Disney’s Desperate Housewives

3:45 AM

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January 16, 2008 - Wednesday

9 words women use

9 WORDS WOMEN USE

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' ... that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying ____ YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to 3.

* Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.

* Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know it's true.

2:52 PM

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January 14, 2008 - Monday

Stop-Loss Movie

6:24 AM

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January 14, 2008 - Monday

*sigh*

so....i was checking my myspace page and i see that someone that i've been trying to get to know better, even tho' she's blood, having fun at my fav. bar, that btw i have tried to invite her & her husband to go to with me before. and it just hurts. I know that we've never really been close, but i've always wanted a better relationship with her. but i guess its just not going to happen.

3:57 AM

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January 6, 2008 - Sunday

Should children witness childbirth?

Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked.

Heidi pushed and pushed and after a little while, Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry.

The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.

Kathleen quickly responded, 'He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place......smack his ass again!'

If you don't laugh at this one, there's no hope for you!

5:22 AM

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December 16, 2007 - Sunday

Snow!!!!

8:40 PM

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December 3, 2007 - Monday

A GUN....just a story

She sat in the corner, on the hard wood floor, and cried. She didnt know why she was crying. Except that it was impossible not to. What reason did she have to cry? What reason did she have to be depressed, and suicidal? She had a happy life at home, and lots of friends. She was never beaten and almost never yelled at. But still something was always wrong, nothing was ever right. For what reason was she even alive? What was there to live for? She thought of killing herself. She had thought about it before, and would think of it again, and again. The thought never completely left her mind. The thought of putting a gun to her head, feeling the cold, black, metal in her hand, pulling the trigger. She dreamt of feeling the light headed dizzy feeling that came right before everything went gray, then eventually black. She dreamt of a relief from her meaningless existence. She dreamt of having her own blood run like chocolate syrup over her fingers and drip to the floor, leaving a stain the size of a twin bed on her Moms nice wood floor. But most of all she dreamt of the expression on her Moms face when she found her like that. Lying there dead, covered in her own blood, with the gun laying beside her. The expression would probably be something of horror, then of crushing sadness. But not genuine sadness, just a sadness for show. Something she could show off to her cotillion friends, just to seem sad. In reality she wouldnt care at all. She might actually be a bit relieved. Relieved to not have to deal with her anymore. Relieved that she could party all night long, and not have to worry about her poor little 14-year-old at home. She thought about the revolver that was kept locked away in the gun cabinet. She thought about smashing through the glass and grabbing the gun, of loading it, her fingers trembling. She would hold the gun to her head and pull the trigger.The girl got up and ran to the gun cabinet, before she knew what was happening she smashed her fist through the glass, the shards putting a long cut along the side of her hand. Some blood dripped onto the carpet. Her hand closed around the gun, she felt the cold black metal in her hand. Her fingers trembled as she loaded it. She put the gun up to her forehead. Sweat ran off of her body. She pulled the trigger.She fell to the ground instantly. Blood dripped on the nice wood floor, staining it. She felt dizzy. Then everything went from gray to black.

3:23 AM

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November 28, 2007 - Wednesday

Army Wedding Vows...

"Dear Family and Friends, We are gathered here today in the sight of God and the Department of the Army, to witness this exchange of vows, and see the love that these two dedicated, loving people have for one another.

"Wilt thou, _____________, take _________(who shall henceforth be referred to as "Dependent WIfe"), as your Family Member, to dwell together in so far as the Department of the Army will permit?

"Wilt thou love her, comfort her via the Postal Service or over the phone, make sure she knows where the Commissary, PX/BX and church are, and what time she is scheduled to use the laundry room the day she arrives, wherever you are stationed?

"Wilt thou attempt to tell her more than 24 hours in advance that you will be leaving for two weeks, beginning the next morning? This especially applies to the years you will live in a foreign country!

"Wilt thou ____________, take this Soldier as thy Sponsor and Wedded Husband, knowing that he is depending upon you to be the perfect (well almost) Army Wife, running the household as you see fit, and being nice to the Commander's Wife?

"Furthermore, you understand that your life with your husband (little that you may have together) will not be normal, that you may have to explain to your children, not once, but twice, and even often in the same day, that Mothers do have husbands, and that Children do have Daddies, and that the picture of the man on the refrigerator is not the milkman, but the same individual who tucks them in at 2200 hours, long after they are asleep. This Soldier is their Daddy, who loves them very, very much.

"Wilt thou love, respect and wait for him, preparing his favorite cookies and pictures of yourself and the kids, so he can remember what you look like? And last but not least, put on the outside of your door his "Welcome Home" sign when he's due to arrive?"

"I, _________, take thee ___________, as my Dependent Wife, from 1900 to 2200 hours, or as long as allowed by my Commanding Officer (subject to change without notice), for better or worse, earlier or later, near or far, and I promise to look at the pictures you send me, maybe not when they get to me in the field, but before I turn the lights out. I will also send a letter, if time permits - and if not, to somehow, some way, make the time."

"I, ___________, take thee, ____________, as my live-in/live-out husband, realizing that your comings and goings and 0330 staff meetings are normal (although absurd to me) and part of your life as a Soldier. I promise not to be shocked or taken by surprise when you inform me that, although we've just arrived at your new Duty Station, we will be leaving within the month. Yes, I'll have you as my Husband as long as while you are away, my Allotment comes through regularly, and that you leave me a current Power of Attorney and the checkbook at all times. I am a Family Member and proud of it, dependent upon myself and my resources. Although I will miss you when you are away, I know I can handle whatever comes across my path."

"Now then, let no man or woman put asunder what God and the Department of the Army have brought together. The Army hereby issues you this lovely, dedicated Woman, knowing that she'll be an asset not only to your marriage, but also to the Mission of the United States Army, which is, as you all know, to remain in a state of 'Readiness'.

By the authority vested in me, elaborated in the Regulations and subject to Current Directives concerning the aspects of Marriage in the Army, I now pronounce you Soldier with a Family Member. Best Wishes, and Good Luck."

9:59 PM

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November 25, 2007 - Sunday

The Dump-A-Man Form

..>..>

Dear _______________,

I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further
contention as Mr. Right. As you are probably aware, the competition
was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as
yourself also failed to make the final cut.

I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening come available.
So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors,
please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified
from the competition:

(Check those that apply)

1. ___Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine taking it,
hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.

2. ___Your first name is objectionable. It's just not something I can
picture myself yelling out in a fit of passion.

3. ___The fact that our first dining experience to date has left MY
wallet a little lighter, and YOUR pants a little tighter!

4. ___Your inadvertent admission that you "buy condoms by the
truckload" indicates that you may be interested in me for something
other than my personality.

5. ___You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions
about yourself before you asked me more than one about myself.

6. ___Your constant emailing, shows me you have TOO much time on
your hands!

7. ___Your legs are skinnier than mine. If you can FIT into my pants,
then you can't GET into my pants.

8. ___You're too short. Any son that we produced would inevitably be
beaten up repeatedly at recess.

9. ___You're too tall. I'm developing a chronic neck condition from
trying to kiss you.

10. ___You have a hairy back.

11. ___I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing.

12. ___The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals an
inherent slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.

13. ___The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often in
conversation.

14. ___You still live with your parents.

15. ___Although I do enjoy the X-Files, I find your wardrobe of Star
Trek uniforms a little concerning.

16. ___Your frequent references to your ex-girlfriend lead me to
suspect that you are some sort of psychotic stalker.

17. ___Your ability to belch the alphabet is not a trait that I am
seeking in a long term partner.

18. ___Your height is out of proportion to your weight. If you should,
however, happen to gain the necessary 17 vertical inches, please
resubmit your application.

19. ___Somehow I doubt those condoms that I found in your overnight
bag were really necessary for a successful business trip.

20. ___I am out of your league; set your sights lower next time.

Sincerely,

_______________________

5:08 AM

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