Gender: Female
Status: Engaged
Age: 31
Sign: Cancer
City: Cameron
State: Missouri
Country: US
Signup Date: 10/23/2005
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Thursday, March 22, 2007
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Sunday, October 15, 2006
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Current mood:  crushed
Category: Blogging
Since I lost him...
I hear you calling my name
in the whistling of the breeze.
The memory of losing you
still drops me to my knees.
Every new day I arise,
I see you in our son;
the tears form inside my eyes
knowing I have to raise him without you.
My birthday party; I cried and cried,
because you weren't there with me.
The biggest part of me has died
and I'm fighting like hell to go on.
Seeing the fireworks that day
brought back the memories of us;
sitting at the beach all day.
So much together and so much in love.
It's been hard to keep on without you
and even more so to raise our son,
but I keep going, just like you'd want me to.
Don't worry about us, we'll get there.
It hasn't even been a year yet,
the thoughts of you won't fade away.
I wish I could see you again...
if only for one last day.
I love you and miss you so much, Michael Dean Eggman!
~Aimee C. Hill
I miss him so much... his smile, his smart ass attitude, the way he was with all the kids... NOTHING seems the 'same' without him. :o(

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Wednesday, July 12, 2006
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Current mood:  annoyed
I "took" this from my friend Matthew.... But with permission.. I think more people should read this one. I definately wasn't about to let this go and not pass it on... so.. here you go..
Think about this: If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone
YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM !!!!
THIS WAS IN A TAMPA NEWSPAPER
Will we still be the Country of choice and still be America if we continue to make the changes forced on us by the people from other countries that came to live in America because it is the Country of Choice??????
Think about it!
All we have to say is, when will they do something abou t MY RIGHTS?
I celebrate Christmas...........but because it isn't celebrated by everyone..............we can no longer say Merry Christmas. Now it has to be Season's Greetings.
It's not Christmas vacation, it's Winter Break. Isn't it amazing how this winter break ALWAYS occurs over the Christmas holiday?
We've gone so far the other way, bent over backwards to not offend anyone, that I am now being offended. But it seems that no one has a problem with that. This says it all! This is an editorial written by an American citizen, published in a Tampa newspaper. He did quite a job; didn't he? Read on, please!
IMMIGRANTS, NOT AMERICANS, MUST ADAPT. I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Sept. 11, we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Americans. However...... the dust from the attacks had barely settled when the "politically correct! " crowd began complaining about the possibility that our patriotism was offending others.
I am not against immigration, nor do I hold a grudge against anyone who is seeking a better life by coming to America. Our population is almost entirely made up of descendants of immigrants. However, there are a few things that those who have recently come to our country, and apparently some born here, need to understand. This idea of America being a multicultural community has served only to dilute our sovereignty and our national identity. As Americans...... we have our own culture, our own society, our own language and our own lifestyle. This culture has been developed over centuries of struggles, trials, and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom.
We speak ENGLISH /SPANISH, not Spanish, Portuguese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society, learn the language!
"In God We Trust" is our national motto. This is not some Christian, right wing, political slogan.. We adopted this motto because Christian men and women.......on Christian principles............. founded this nation..... and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home.........because God is part of our culture.
If Stars and Stripes offend you, or you don't like Uncle Sam, then you should seriously consider a move to another part of this planet. We are happy with our culture and have no desire to change, and we really don't care how you did things where you came from. This is OUR COUNTRY, our land, and our lifestyle. Our First Amendment gives every citizen the right to express his opinion and we will allow you every opportunity to do so! But once you are done complaining....... whining...... and griping....... about our flag....... our pledge...... our national motto........or our way of life....I highly encourage you to take advantage of one other Great American Freedom......
THE RIGHT TO LEAVE.
It is Time for America to Speak up
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Wednesday, March 15, 2006
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Category: Life
Ok everyone.... meet my L.J.
This is my oldest son, L.J. (Lemar Antwan Hill Jr.) He's 7 years old...and I'm telling you what, this little boy has been through hell 10x over... I feel so bad, because he's so young. But you know what? He seems to me, like he's going to be one fine man.
Just a bit of history on this child of mine.......
L.J. was born in 1998 and since then... he's gone through some major life altering changes. The first thing he had to go through was losing the chance to get to know his sister (yes..I have a daughter too). When L.J. was 6 months old, my mother basically ripped my daughter from our lives. Longgggg story... and I'm not going into detail...let's just say that L.J. knows about her, wants to know her personally, and is saddened that he may not get the chance.
If that wasn't enough.... when he was about 2 yrs old, he witness his father trying to kill me. I was seconds away from death and I had to look into my child's eyes..... you just don't know what that does to me, everytime I think about it. His father was choking me to death, throwing me around, running me into walls..etc. All this, in front of L.J. After that mess... we left, never seeing him again. We moved to Missouri to get away...to start over... to live our lives again. I met a guy... he was great!! Or so I thought... seems as though he had problems that he obviously couldn't deal with. Major anger issues. He beat L.J. for stupid reasons. Things that you just don't beat anyone for...let alone a child. I too, got beat for protecting him. There was no way I was going to just stand around and watch it happen. Once again, we left.. got our own home and we were loving it! The one thing about L.J. though... he still loved that man, to him...that was dad...he just couldn't figure out what he did that was so wrong, or why he didn't love him. Try explaining that to a child....
L.J. and I find out that his dad...his biological father had murdered a man. Tell me that's not a shocking blow?!
Ok.. a long while later... L.J.'s 5 yrs. old....I met another man... over the internet, and yes people.. it does work. I guess it all just depends. Anyway... L.J. had fears at first, of mom getting with another guy. He told me he didn't want me to be with anyone, cuz they would hurt him or me. He didn't want to see mommy hurt anymore. Isn't that just HEARTBREAKING?!!? So.. on with Mike (the one from the net)... we got along Great.. better than I ever expected!! L.J. and I ended up packing up and leaving the world behind us. We moved in with Mike and his children. We loved them all... each and every one of them. Mike took L.J. as his own and wanted him to call him nothing by Dad, cuz to him... L.J. was all his. Life was awesome, I finally felt like I had "the one". God had heard our prayers and finally gave us what we wanted and needed. Close to 3 years go by... which.. let me tell you.. we had become engaged, Mike and I, and all the kids were looking forward to the big day!! We also had a baby, the happiest baby I've ever seen, which is where my Austin comes in. Anyway... life took one hell of a sharp turn...and very unexpected. Mike passed away one day, out of the blue, with no warning. If you don't know what that's like... let me try to tell you in a short description..... it's as if the world stopped. I lost the love of my life....the father to my kids... the best friend I ever had....
And now??? The family (the other kids) barely get to visit with L.J., Austin, and I. L.J. gets excluded from MANY things, because Mike's ex wife states "He's not Mike's son". L.J. has heard that be said so many times... the poor kid is at a loss. Me.. being the mom that I fight so hard to be.. is left with this. I try to be strong, but Lord.. how much more can we take?!?!
Ok.. I just had to share my L.J. with you all. He is a total #1 in my life... so.. since you're all friends, it was only right that you knew him too. Some here know his personality and can vouch for me when I say that he is ONE OF A KIND. Yes, he has his hellacious moments.. but you know? This kid rocks my world. He's awesome! And I love him to death.
 | Currently listening: Face to Face By Westlife Release date: 03 November, 2005 |
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Wednesday, March 15, 2006
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Category: Life
How do I tell this face.... that his daddy is gone? How do I tell him that he'll never see his daddy (who he loved sooooo much) again. How do I help him to know his daddy?
This is Mike.
An awesome father!! He raised all of his children by himself. He had 6 biological kids, and One "step", my son... L.J. One hell of a man, I tell you!! This is about Austin, though... so lemme continue..
Austin was born May 22, 2005. He was the pride and joy of Mike. I swear.. there wasn't a thing that would stop him from playing with his "aussie". They were too cute together, it always made me smile. Austin could tell when dad was home... his eyes would light up and he'd move his head all around until he could see his daddy. Mike also made a certain noise that nobody has been able to duplicate. I don't even know how to explain the sound... but Austin KNEW that was his daddy.
Mike passed.... and even though I didn't want to, I took Austin (and L.J.) with me to his open casket. Ok.... I know what ya'll must be thinking... why in the heck would you do that?! I agree that maybe I shouldn't have taken them, because that way they could remember him the way he was....not letting him lying there in a box being the last image of him.. But on the other hand, I feel that they (more so L.J. cuz he's older) needed the closure. Well... this is what happened...I was too weak to hold Austin, so his aunt did... she held him by Mike... Austin saw him and wanted to play. He started jumping and laughing and reaching for his daddy. Then...it all went awfully sad... Since daddy wasn't playing with him, reaching for him, or talking back to him... Austin started crying like he's never cried before. Which was NO easier on me!!! That's when Austin said Daddy for the first time, actually he cried out "Daddy". Now... I ask you again... How do I tell him about his daddy, when do I, how can I explain to him about his daddy?? I always wonder if I'm strong enough to handle that task... all on my own. Now mind you... I have been thru my hell alone, I have fought alone, I have raised my kids damn near alone, and without any help. But for this one?? I think I'm actually going to need it..... so how do I?
 | Currently listening: I Will Stand By Kenny Chesney Release date: 15 July, 1997 |
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Tuesday, March 07, 2006
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Category: Writing and Poetry
With open heart and hands that care I wish to offer what I can You know I too, have dealt with loss Not so long ago I know just what you're feeling Lord knows I felt it too You were there for me To help me through the tears... Now it's my turn to be here for you Upon my shoulders, you can cry And think of all the times of past That make you warm and make you smile And keeps her soul alive I swear when I heard this news I thought of losing my love I couldn't smile, I couldn't laugh I wanted to sit down and cry I hate that you have to feel the pain Of losing someone you love Though I'm not in any shape To be uplifting to you As I still have not forgiven myself Of what I've had to go through All I can offer up Is the knowledge that I am here Though I have been missing You still mean so much to me You both have shown me so much love That I never knew could be So many memories we can share And know that there is peace Within our hearts so torn and blue Where our thoughts we can keep To help us get through Look for me, I'm always there To be right by your side Always and forever yours A friend that truly cares
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Friday, January 20, 2006
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Current mood:  confused
Category: Writing and Poetry
I Had To Say Goodbye
No more smiles upon my face, No more comfort when I sleep, No more beat left in this heart. I had to say goodbye to love, To happiness, and to you.
No more looking forward to That voice on the other end. No more passionate kisses. I had to say goodbye to love, To happiness, and to you.
You made the choice to end What I had grown to love. The way you made me feel, Was something that I've never known. I had to say goodbye to a love That felt so good and so right.
No more sweet morning wake ups, That always meant so much. No more times of laughter, hurt remains. I had to say goodbye to love, To happiness, and to you.
No more "weekend getaways" With me there in your arms. No more me, nor you, no more us. I had to say goodbye to love, To happiness, and to you.
Aimee C. Hill 1/16/06
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Friday, January 20, 2006
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Current mood:  confused
Category: Writing and Poetry
I Meant It
When I said, "I love you", I meant it. And now you have vanished, Ripped right from my grasp. Again, I am just lying here, My heart torn and crushed.
When I said, "I want you", I meant it. You made me feel what others couldn't. You shared such passion with me That I couldn't even dream up. I miss that, I miss us, I miss you.
When I said, "I need you", I meant it. I guess that was too much. You got scared and ran away From the one who'd always be there. You had my heart, I wish you'd have kept it.
Aimee C. Hill 1/16/06
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Tuesday, January 10, 2006
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Current mood:  okay
We Will Miss You PROD!!!!

I just wanted to share a friend with all of you....
By about the end of this week, my friend, Mike (aka PROD) will be heading out to Iraq.
He's going to be missed by many for the length of time that he's going to be gone. We haven't got any doubt that he'll be able to come back home soon and party with us. I tell ya'.. I for one, am looking forward to that day already!!! lol.
I had to put this lil blog in here, so that he knows that some of us do actually think of him, and wish him well. I also want to mention his wife, who is in the picture with him to the left.... she's going to be having a hell of a time. I think that those of us that know her, need to be there for her as much as we can.... Until Prod comes back home.
So with that I say...
Prod.. you make me even more proud to be an American... and my heart, strength, and thoughts go with you to Iraq. I'll be missing you.
Hugs.
Aimee


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Monday, January 02, 2006
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Current mood:  calm
R.I.P. Michael Dean Eggman
March 1, 1971 to October 15, 2005
Not only was Michael my boyfriend/fiance of two years, he was also an awesome father, and a true friend. He was one of those kinds of people everyone likes to talk about. Ya' know, the ones that would give and do anything for anyone that ever needed them? Yeah, that was him.
He was the best father I think anyone could ever ask for. He had 6 kiddos, 7 if you include my son, L.J. Let me tell you, I witnessed first hand, the love and bond he had for and with his children. You don't see many single fathers at all raising their children, let alone one that raises 3 of them all his own....and would do ANYTHING it took to make sure they were all taken care of.
I loved this man, and still do. Someone like him touches your heart and no matter how hard you try, you just can't forget him. Not that I ever want to.... I've overcome his death. I've come to face it... to realize it. The only thing that I've left to do now, is to raise our son, the best way I can, and try to show him and tell him all about his dad through pictures and what not. That, to me, is going to be even harder than dealing with the death.
Michael... I know you're watching all of us... We love you and miss you... and we'll see you again someday.
The video playing is the song that I had dedicated to him at his service. It strikes my heart everytime I listen to it. God, I miss that man. 
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