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The Gas House Gorillas God's Favorite Rhythm & Blues Band!

The Gas House Gorillas



Last Updated: 11/17/2009

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Status: Married
City: BROOKLYN
State: New York
Country: US
Signup Date: 10/23/2005

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Friday, November 20, 2009 

Category: Music

The Gas House Gorillas are in need of a tenor/baritone sax player . We need a honker who can swing. That person would have to be a solid musician, performer and team player. We have gigs on the books, that include a West Coast trip that would begin with Viva Las Vegas this Spring. We are not looking for a sideman. We are looking for someone with talent to spare, who is willing to be a part of something larger than himself.

http://www.gashousegorillas.org/

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=34411236
 
 
Friday, November 20, 2009 

Category: Music

The Gas House Gorillas are in sudden need of a bass player. We need someone who plays stand up, primarily in a Rockabilly/Jump vein. That person would have to be a solid musician, performer and team player. We have gigs on the books, that include a West Coast trip that would begin with Viva Las Vegas this Spring. We are not looking for a sideman. We are looking for someone with talent to spare, who is willing to be a part of something larger than himself.

http://www.gashousegorillas.org/

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=34411236

 

Tuesday, November 10, 2009 

Category: Music
There have been many great musical acts that have secured a hallowed place in the annals of music history.  There were The Prognosticators, Slim Peter and his Pedophile Three, Rusty Sanchez, Pork Roll Sam and the Frequent Fryers, The Hock-A-Loogies, and of course, who could forget the King of the Polkas Slowek Shwzxtwkjhfdgski and his Existential Squeeze Box?  You remember him.  The guy with the chaps.  I digress.  We here at Gorilla Headquarters think that you would agree that these are some of the greatest artists of all time and that they deserve our respect, admiration and gratitude for their unique amazing contributions to our collective vocabulary in the field of popular music.
 
We also feel, with all due respect, as great as these ground breaking artists may be, there is one band that stands head and shoulders above the rest.  One band that sets the standard by which all other bands should be measured.  One band that can bring joy to the dreary monotonous lives of all the little people who will read this MySpace post. One band that can make the blind speak and the mute see.  That band is THE GAS HOUSE GORILLAS.  In the name of all that is sacred, should these other so called artists be permitted to breathe the same air as THE GAS HOUSE GORILLAS???  “No!!!” I say verily unto thee.  As a matter of fact I will go on record and suggest that if any of these hack no account loser has-beens even cast their gaze in the direction of THE GAS HOUSE GORILLAS they should be hunted down like dogs by an angry mob of Gorilla Fans, beaten to death with pointy sticks and ceremonially disemboweled with a warm spoon!!! 
WE ARE THE KINGS OF THE WORLD!!! BOW BEFORE US, SWINE!!!  RAAAAAAH!!! YOUR FEAR MAKES US STRONGER!!!
 
I mean, am I right?   {:8())-
Wednesday, November 04, 2009 

Current mood:  aroused
Category: Music
Is daylight saving time starting to get you down? Does the prospect of another dreary Winter make you want to open a vein? Can you feel your brain cells dissolving into a pasty goo as you vegetate through another mind numbing episode of some stupid VH1 reality show in which Eric Estrada wades his way through a plethora of bubble headed low rent sluts in hopes of finding his one true love? Have you viewed so much Internet porn that it now seems like little more than a Disney cartoon and you have now reached a point where the only way that you can get turned on is by immersing yourself in Jello Pudding while the object of your desire shows you the bottom of their feet? Yeah, we've been there. There's only one thing left for you... THE GAS HOUSE GORILLAS! STAT!!!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009 

Current mood:  impervious
Sitting in my office after going nine rounds with my nemesis Johnny Walker the night before, I had a queer feeling kind of like there was a midget in my pants with a cattle prod and a box of matches. While laying my pounding head on the desk next to the photo of my ex-partner whom a year ago that day had gone to his maker after being pushed in front of a street car by a stranger wearing a bowler hat and smoking an El Producto Cigar there came a knock on my door. “Come in,” I slurred in a voice that could best be described as the sound that a garbage disposal makes when it’s filled to the brim with the carcass of some sort of dead fish, tilapia perhaps.

In walked a vision of feminine pulchritude. One part Lana Turner and three parts Ray Bolger, she was loaded for bear at five foot nothing with legs like a table and a giant mustache. I was smitten.

“What can I do you for, Sweetheart?” I cooed in a voice that could best be described as the sound that a cat makes when its belly is filled to the brim with the carcass of some sort of dead fish, sardine perhaps.

“I’m looking for a band,” she said seductively as she fingered her giant mustache, “The greatest band on the face of the earth.”

“Billy Budd and his Nudniks?” I queried.

“NO STOOPID,” she replied, “THE GAS HOUSE GORILLAS!!!”

So I shot her. {:8())-
Thursday, September 17, 2009 

Current mood:  bouncy
Category: Music

This week's newsletter is entitled
"WHAT'S SO GREAT ABOUT YOU?"
Here is our top ten list of the things that we, The Gorillas, find so captivating about you, our very favorite fan. Ready? Here we go!

10. Your little laugh.
9. The way you make those fart noises with your armpits while dining with family and friends.
8. Your third nipple.
7. The fabulous things you've done with your trailer.
6. The way your left eye droops a little lower than your right.
5. Your hump.
4. The way you keep saying "like" between every other word.
3. The way you take your teeth out at parties.
2. Your chronic halitosis.

And finally, the numero uno reason that the Gorillas think that you are the bees knees (drum roll)!!!!

1. YOUR SPECTACULAR TASTE IN MUSIC!!!!

Eh? See what I just did there? {:8())-