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Joe Smith is God!



Last Updated: 11/17/2009

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Status: Single
City: Shea Stadium
State: New York
Country: US
Signup Date: 3/3/2008

Blog Archive
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Thursday, December 11, 2008 
In the worst example of backstabbing since Brutus stuck a knife between the shoulder blades of Caesar, the New York Mets have traded away the greatest player in their history in exchange for some talentless bum. Joe Smith is no longer a New York Met.

Fans wept openly across the tri-state area as the news began to sink in. "It is catastrophic. I believe the world as we know it is now over," said one dazed Joe Smith fan. "I will never again utter the name of the Mets General Manger who has betrayed Joe the Blessed One and all of his believers. For all of eternity this swine of a GM will only be known as He Whom We Name Not." Another was heard to mutter, "We lose the best pitcher in team history for a putz named Putz. Good grief!"

Many young fans gathered outside of Joe Smith's home, puddles of tears gathering around their feet. When Joe went to try to console them they began to cry, "Say it ain't so, Joe! Say it ain't so!" He could only reply, "I'm afraid it is."

Widespread apocalypse is now expected across New York. Many soothsayers believe the Mets have damned themselves for all of eternity. They deserve no better.
Friday, July 11, 2008 
Apparently being the best pitcher in the history of the Major Leagues is not good enough to get you on the All Star Team! It became official today that Joe Smith would once again be snubbed and left off of the team.

"I guess the National League wants to continue being beaten like a bunch of nancy boys," said one unnamed baseball official. "Joe Smith would have been a lock to throw the first perfect game in All Star history. Instead it looks like the American League will beat them again like a whining group of sissy mama's boys."

Thousands of fans gathered outside of Shea Stadium wept as the final All Star roster was read aloud. David Wright, refusing to play on an All Star squad that did not include Joe Smith, asked that the millions of votes he received in the final moments instead be given to Corey Hart of the Brewers. "The All Star team be damned," he said to reporters as he lit a poster of Chase Utley on fire using only his burning glare.

Joe Smith, who last night left the San Francisco Giants standing in puddles of their own urine, was unavailable for comment.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008 

Wow.  Los Angeles punk gods TIME AGAIN are the latest to fire a musical salvo in support of Joe Smith!

They were recently at the XM Satellite Radio studios in Washington DC when for some unknown reason they launched into a "Louie Louie" style ode to Number 35 of The Metropolitans!

Be sure to add it to your MySpace profile.

Let's Go, Let's Joe!

Sunday, March 30, 2008 

The Mets have named their Opening Day roster of 25 players and the final pitching spot has been snagged by...JOE SMITH!!!

Choruses of angels were heard to sing.  Rainbows appeared in the sky.  Dogs frolicked with cats.  Bartenders poured free beers.  Fighting across the planet stopped momentarily and everybody hugged.

Let’s all wish Joe the best and when you see him on the field let him know, "JOE SMITH IS GOD!!!"

Please be sure to put us in your Top Friends and help spread The Word of The Joe.

See you at Shea!

Sunday, March 30, 2008 

Striking a blow for the NY Mets and all of God’s creatures, Joe Smith was the winning pitcher in the annual Civil Rights game in Memphis, TN yesterday.

Chicago White Sox players were seen to weep like little school girls at their inability to match up against the finest pitcher in the history of Major League Baseball.

One unnamed Sox player, his face lined with tear streaks and a look of horror in his eyes was heard to say, "It’s not fair that a pitcher with stuff like that is allowed to throw against lowly mortals like ourselves.  Joe Smith is truly The Chosen One!"

Tuesday, March 18, 2008 

Is this article blasphemy?  MLB.com pundit Marty Noble weighs in on The Messiah of the Mound here.

Saturday, March 15, 2008 

It began with Steve Popper of The Bergen Record calling attention to this very site in his Amazin’ Stories blog here.  It quickly spread throughout the sporting world as Joe Smith starved fans began to make their voices heard.

The great Matthew Cerrone picked up the story on his seminal MetsBlog.

The Star Ledger’s Jeremy Cothran showed some love on Ledger on Mets.

Adam Rubin of the NY Daily News hits it here.  He mentions that Joe Smith does not want you to go there.  This, of course, proves that Joe is the Holy One as only the divine deny their divinity!

Steve Feitl’s Citiblog checks in here although we find his "some-what disturbing" comment to some-what blasphemous.

What began as a trickle will become a flood of support for His Most Holy Joeness!

Please forward us any links or articles relating to our sacred struggle.

Friday, March 14, 2008 

Incredible but true, infamous Danish psychobilly band THE HORRORPOPS were recently soundchecking at XM Satellite Radio in Washington DC getting set for a live concert recording.  Someone shouted out to them that they should make up a quick ditty about the greatest pitcher in New York Mets history and...viola!  Musical history was made.

You can hear this soon to be legendary audio opus on our MySpace page.  Be sure to add it to your own MySpace profile to help spread The Gospel of Joe.

To learn more about HorrorPops go to www.myspace.com/thehorrorpops.

As fate would have it Seattle punk sensations THE CUTE LEPERS were down the hallway at XM the very same day.  Were they cowed by another band doing daring dittys about the Diamond Deity?  They were not!  They felt it their duty to launch into their own soundcheck ode to the holy number 35!

This is now also available for listening oin the MySpace player.

If you wanna check out more from The Cute Lepers hit www.myspace.com/thecutelepers.  

Ya Gotta Believe...in Joe Smith!

Friday, March 14, 2008 

Fight Joepression in the press!

There is some loose talk from sportswriters and so called experts that Joe Smith may not be with the New York Mets when the season starts.  This is the foulest sort of blasphemy and will be punished!  A pox upon the unbelievers!

Say NO to N’Orleans!  Say Yay to Shea!  Keep Joe in The Show!

For those of you at Spring Training games be sure to let the Mets know that Joe Smith is the Truth and the Light.  Joe Smith will lead us to the Holy Land of World Series Championships...but if we deny his divinity we shall be cast into a lake of fire to burn with the sinners, the harlots, the unholy and the Yankees fans.

In Joe We Trust!

Friday, March 14, 2008 

Are you a worshipper of Joe Smith?

Send your pictures of Joe Smith for us to put on the page.

You can also share your thoughts on Joe’s divine goodness in the comments section.

In Joe we trust!