There's sumthin i heard alot over the course of my childhood; Stand & Fight. It didn't take long for me to learn what that meant. When its ugly, when you have no choice, when there's no other option...you Stand & Fight. But over the past couple of months this statement has come to mean a bit more to me. The past couple of months have been rather trying; a stalled education, moving, employment upheaval, personal failures...etc. But through all of this there have been a select group of people (mainly women) who have been there for me consistently and unwaveringly. Not-a-once have these people let me down. And when I was already down they made every possible attempt to pick my sorry-ass up. When I've wanted to give up they've never let me. They Stood next to me and Fought through it with me.

Stand & Fight means something new to me now. When its ugly for those you love, when those who you love have no choices, when those who love have no other options, you Stand & Fight with them.

These people know exactly who they are. I don't have to name a single name. They have been there and will continue to be there. And for this I pledge My Undying Allegience.

I can feel it. Through and through. Down to the bone.

I(t) just got colder.

Someone told me last year that 2008 was gonna be my year. I trust this person more than can ever be explained but when someone tells you something like that you can't help but say, "yeah, sure. My year. Right." But so far that someone has been very very correct. New apartment on the horizon, new outlook on my education, new outlook on "romance", a bit more wisdom....everything. But the best, most conclusive evidence of it being my year has been my birthday celebration.

In typical Philly fashion I've celebrated for an extended period of time, as opposed to just one day. Over the past 9 days ( yea thats right, 9 motherfucker!) I've had more fun than the past 9 weeks. And because I've been celebrating me, I've been thinking about me a great deal. I've come to the realization that I like me. I think Me is a pretty ok dude. And Me deserves nice things. Like relaxation and the right to say, "Hey, I deserve nice things 'cuz I'm an ok dude." And even the right to celebrate Me. I've never celebrated my birthday before for a myriad of reasons. But now, I think it's ok.

These past 9 days have showed me how much people really care. And who really cares and who just care enough to make the effort to seem as if they care. To everyone who joined in the celebration I say thank you and congratulations. Give yerself a high-five. You've earned it. You guys rock!

My birthday celebration had a bit of a rocky start. And if I were to say I'm not still feelin' it I'd be a goddamn lying sonofabitch, but I've learned that the best lesson a woman ever taught me was when she left.

So, yeah...2008. Or should I say 2000-Great!! HHHHiiiyyyoooo!!!

Dear NYC,

......You’re not that tough. Just wait untill i figure out your transit system. THEN we’ll see whats up.

Oh, and i can’t say I’m too fond of your women. Yes, they are absolutely stunning. But to be honest I can’t say I’m too fond of their attitudes. Please, do me a solid and remind them that their shit does, in fact, stink.

Sexfully Yours,
Andre

P.S.
I like your food. Its varied, cheap, and disgusting. Nice denim though!

sleep,sleep,sleep while you can...catch all the z's you can. You'll need them. As soon as the ball drops and its 2008 you'll lie awake at night. Staring at the ceiling, restless. Restless cuz you can't stop thinking about me. I'll be on your mind, in your dreams and everywhere you look.

I've been hearin' a lot of rumblins' and sidetalk. Lots of classic philly hate floatin' bout these days. And I couldn't be more pleased honestly. They talk about you cuz thats all they can do...talk about you. They damn sure ain't gonna run up on ya and make you switch ya stance up. They can't. They won't.

I've got it figured out now. Finally I get it. Its all at my fingertips. And that very realization is what puts it at my fingertips. the signal is strong, the readings are clear and true. the phase couplings are holding strong. Its gonna be more of a snowball effect than anything else.

Life is full of harsh, unflappable, undeniable truths. And one is that we all have to choose: Wolf or Sheep. And suffice it to say, I am not a vegetarian. And in my humble opinion most of you are meals to be eaten when and how i like. Sorry. undeniable truths and the like.

I've stood in the shadow of giants. watched their movements, studied their tactics, analyzed their motives, understood their mindsets, mimicked and adopted their strong suits and discarded their failings. I have stood and continue to stand in their shadows. But now there'll be a lot of movements made in the shadows; where most fail to see. decisive moves; flowing and crashing moves. moves you'll feel but can't quite grasp. like a cool gust of wind in through a moonlit field.

Whatever you value in life pray to your God I don't want it. And sleep while you can. There'll be none of that in the new year.

Greatgooglymoogly!!! I went to Fabric for the second time last night. Just so you know Fabric is a MEGA club. I think its half a city block, just hollowed out and separated into three rooms. Most of the naitives "in the know" rarely step foot in that place cuz, to be honest its a tourist trap. Think of Old City on a Saturday nite, only in a club. Its like that. But on the other hand it features world class dj's on a regular basis. I'm talkin the DJ and bands that we pay 30 bucks to see and who only come around once a year, they see almost every weekend.

I couldn't get any of the girls I'm stayin with to come with so I rolled dolo...which turned out to be pretty damn nice cuz i didn't have to worry bout losin anybody. Honestly, I can't say im a big fan of fabric. Too many damn people, none of which really even know what they're listening to and haven't the fogiest idea how to dance. But I went cuz the lineup was fuckin bananas. Here's a run down:

1) DJ Mehdi...Ed banger repped to the fullest in there. The man is a FUCKING BEAST. AND he showed up to dj in a pink cashmere v-neck sweater and fresh pressed pleated khakis. He slung tracks like it was a basement party but looked like he was playin in the hamptons. True class...His game is on a level most cats can't even see.

2) Chromeo...Ok so I just saw these cats in Philly not even a month ago. They fuckin ripped it at the TLA. So I was siked to see them again at a better venue. They get better and better every time. They brought the energy, the subtle wackiness, the clever banter, the crowd interaction, everything. One of the better bands I've ever seen live. Cuz they're fun. they don't take themselves too seriously. Good fun.

3) Yo! Majesty...Um...wow...All I can say is wow. The group consists of a hefty white guy with dreds, and two female MCs. I'll sum their perfomance up this way. One of the MCs just took her shirt off. Not cuz it was hot, not cuz the set was wild, but just cuz. She just walked out on stage, started yellin and spittin, and just ripped it off. I'm talkin two minutes into their set. Straight National Geographic titties all over the place.

4) Chase & Status...for all my DNB heads last night was pure heaven. C & S laid a beautiful set. A healthy mix of liquid, neuro, and straight club bangers.

5) Ed Rush & Optical...Goddamn these two are loud. Every time I see them they make my head hurt. They push that BOOM. Their basslines are thunderous.

6) Andy C...Man I don't even have to explain this one. It's Andy C for fucks sake...he's a DNB God.

7) TC...to be quite honest I didn't think that TC could actually spin...Till I saw that shit happen. The Young man laid it down. He will be a legend. Quote me on that.

8) Van She Tech...holy tight-ass jeans and cardigans!! It was like making time in that bitch!! These cats are fuckin whacky...They brought the heat tho...so much so that I'm gonna see em again on tuesday. Good electro fun.

9) Duke Dumont...Another cat I didn't expect to be able to spin. He played a good set but I didnt get the feeling that he was really feelin it. That shit translates into a emotionless set. Good, but not as good as it coulda been. I'd have to see him again to really make a judgement. Sucks cuz I was hyped to see him play out.

10) Clipz...more DNB...Yikes this kid is good. Pretty technical for a drum and bass dj. lots of little tricks and some double drops in there. I wasn't even dancin no more I was just listening to him play. DAMN good stuff.

11) Annie Mac...I know she's the shit over here and all but to be quite honest I wasn't feelin it. I felt like i was listening to a pre mixed Ibiza club cd or sumthin. not my cup of tea. It sounded like a car commercial. You know that whack-ass car commercial techno. 90 minutes of that. Yikes.

So...yeah. All that happened in one night. I think i lost some weight in there. when I left i was completely pissed and drinched from head to toe in sweat. Mostly mine but i'm sure i had plenty of other peoples sweat on me too. To my suprise I think I've masted the art of dancin' hard and not spillin' a drop of beer. Kinda like a mexican when they pass out at their kid's birthday party. Not a fuckin drop touched the ground. I took a shit ton of pics but most of em are shit. Hopefully one or two are of use. Ok Im gonna take a shower now cuz I smell like livestock.
ONE.

Fuck these critiques, fuck these grades, fuck these due dates and deadlines. I'm sick of it. All of It. I am no longer going to allow these things to lord over my education. I pursue higher education for one reason and one reason alone: to better hone and understand my craft. Thats it. Not to obtain a degree. Not to be rich. Hell, i dont even do it to make things that other people like. I do this for me. Its my education, im running the show, its goin down how i say so.

I feel so isolated. Is there anyone out there that does what they love just because they love it? Not to make a buck? Are there any true students left? Students who revel in their own ignorance and the pursuit of further knowledge? Does anyone want to be better just for the sake of being better? Or are we all so driven by a homogenized sense of "success" that we forego our own happiness in order to make a quick buck? A buck that doesn't even cover all that we've lost in the pursuit of said buck?

I'm fucking over it. I'm not gonna be stressed out by the very thing I've loved all my life, the only thing I've ever been good at, the only thing that, at the end of my story, has ever really made me happy. I refuse to make a commodity of my craft. If i can get paid to do what i love, great. Fucking awesome. If not, so fucking what?. I'll still do it. There are plenty of ways to make money, none of which have a damn thing to do with who i am as a human being. I will not be defined by what i do for money and i will not let myself become another white rat in the maze, searching tirelessly for a small bit of cheese. I don't like the rules of the game so I aint playin no more.

Its my education. Its my life. Its my story. I'm writing it the way I see fit. Fuckit.
I'm doin it MY WAY.

Ok so who else went to the Mad Decent vs Unruly night last night? Ok...now who else was really disappointed last night? Be honest....Just me? Fine. Just me then. So i thought this was gonna be a Bmore night. In Philly. I was hyped as shit!! But Diplo couldnt have played more than 45 minutes, Blaqqstarr played maybe 15 and Scottie B played maybe 3 or 4 tunes. Maybe I'm wrong about this, and if i am call me out on it. Please.

First off why was the party billed as a Mad Decent vs Unruly party if these cats were the openers? The cats that took over after Scottie B all played the same dirrrty souff shit that we've all heard a million times already. If i wanted to hear that i coulda gone to fuckin Tragos. In my mind, you have the Top 40 Djs open, get everybody loose, then you unleash the big dogs to fuckin tear the place up. Honestly if i knew that was gonna happen I prolly woulda skipped the party. Secondly why the hell was the party $20 at the door when, as far as i was told, it was 'sposed to be $10? The only reason i paid it was because i stood in that long ass line.

One more thing...People in this city just dont know how to party. Why on earth would you be in the middle of the dancefloor and stand completely still? I FUCKING HATE THAT!!Dont just stand there Dummy!! and don't get pissed if you get bumped or pushed by someone who is actually dancing! All people do nowadays is Bounce to that souff shit. And thats cool but please, step outside yer comfort zone for once and just dance. yes you look stupid, everybody does. and no one cares...

Finally, its become painfully obvious to me that the city of Philadelphia just doesn't appreciate Baltimore Club music. It just doesn't. Besides myself and a select few other heads, it goes unappreciated in this town. I was sooooo sad when diplo was layin down the fuckin law last night and the only people who were rockin were me, two groups of drunk yuppies, and a few music nerds. You know, people who really know their shit. Everybody else seemed like they were waitin for Lil John and Jeezy to show up...

Now I'm not faulting anyone in particular for this night. Simplefly and Paperstreet are fuckin powerhouses and they throw THE parties in this city. They do it big everytime. And everytime is a banger. I wanna make it clear im not callin anyone out on this.

So if anyone disagrees with me or experienced something completely different please lemme know sumthin...I'd like to discuss this wit other heads
...Talk about a disappointment...

Oh natural selection...where have you gone? Why have you forsaken us? What did we do? I promise, we can make it up to you...what? was is the industrial revolution? we're sorry...sometimes, things seem like good ideas, but turn out kinda bad...
I promise, we can make it right...please come back...

I know that if you come back it probably means the end for me but thats O.K. I know i won't go before them. 'Cus I'm better than them. They don't know you like i know you...

Please come back...Let's work this out...

come home.Idontwannacomehome!!! I don't wanna come home. I don't wanna come home. I really, really don't wanna come home..