“Why bother? Why care? Why even try? What is the point in making an effort if nothing ever works out anyway?” These are things that float through everyone’s mind from time to time. We all go through moments of doubt. They are necessary in our deducing the best options to take from the ones that we find ourselves presented with. The problem isn’t that we doubt the outcome of our choices. The problem arises as a by-product of our weighing the odds. It occurs for a number of reasons depending upon the individual, but it most certainly sounds the same regardless of who it is coming from.

Pessimism is all about negativity. The direct definition of the word states something along the lines of, “an inclination to emphasize adverse aspects, conditions and possibilities or to expect the worst possible outcome.” What this basically means is spelled out in the latter portion of the definition; to expect the worst possible outcome. What causes people to do this? A good many things. Bad past experiences, fear, lack of self confidence or trust, uncertainty, a history of abuse and negative environments can cause a trend in thought that becomes purely pessimistic. We surround ourselves with the negative aspects of life until we actually forget the balance. Some spend so much time in a negative state of mind they begin to prefer that way of life as opposed to others. They become unhappy with their lives and see no point in trying anything to stop this downward spiral they brought upon themselves. They legitimately feel there is no hope. Their own dominating negativity has become just that, the dominant force in their lives. This produces a great many by-products; the two most prevalent being hate and the more universal pessimism.

Pessimism causes consistent negative outcomes. The individual is sometimes unaware that this is taking place. They cannot understand why things won’t get better. They see others around them who seem to be happy and content and they wonder why they cannot attain such feelings. They continue to doubt themselves and the world around them in a manner that drives them further into negativity and depression. There then comes a point of awareness and rationalization.  They believe themselves to be different than the others they see. They begin to see themselves as unfortunate and almost a scapegoat of some sort. They actually begin to believe that this is how life is meant to be for them. Such rationalization causes them to shut things out. People with a different mindset might notice their plight and make helpful suggestions or offer some sort of encouragement. The pessimistic will instantly shut them out and some will actually think that person ignorant to “the way the world works”.

I think many of us have our own way about things. We have our own ideas, thoughts and dreams. We each have our own world where we know the rules and we must be cautious. Yes we must be aware of the chance of something negative finding us and ruining our plans but we mustn’t let such things in our past dictate our futures. We must learn from our mistakes and carry our lessons with us in order to obtain the happiness we seek. We cannot base our futures on pessimism. Planning for the worst can enable it to seek you out. We must never lose our hopes for without them we are nothing. We cannot let ourselves become a slave to the negative. We must hold our heads high and work towards what it is we desire. For if we look towards our lives with a pessimistic point of view; we will be depriving ourselves of the thing that drives us.

Be positive and love your life.    

How can you let them get away with it? Why do we give people second chances after they have hurt us? How can you possibly give them the benefit of the doubt? Why can’t you forgive me?

Forgiveness is not something that can be done easily. When someone hurts or betrays you, for a span of time, it is impossible to forgive them. You feel hurt when they spread lies about you. You feel betrayed when the repeated what you told them in complete confidence. People we hold close do things that can bring us down, down to a place where we question ourselves and those around us. Make us question why we even bother surrounding ourselves with such people. We feel bad as time passes, and then one of two things tends to happen. We either forgive them or we don’t.

Not forgiving someone, especially when they have asked for forgiveness, can be very trying on a relationship. That is assuming the relationship survived at all. Seeing them at family functions or social gatherings proves to be awkward and annoying. You try to avoid them and inevitably avoid the problem. Even worse is saying you forgive them but not actually doing it. You then pick apart everything the person does, become untrusting and eventually hurt the person in return.

Some speak of revenge, vengeance, getting even and making them pay. They dedicate their time and energy going after anyone and anything that gets in their way. Others say that they simply refuse to put up with such behavior and expect more out of people. I implore you to have standards in your relationships. Stand up and live for what you believe in. Learn from those that have hurt you and never let yourself be put into a situation like that again. This does not mean pushing every person that ever wronged you away. Soon you could find yourself alone. Use your head! But you must also remember to use your heart. We must learn to discern between the people that mean harm and the people that do not.

Forgiveness takes strength. Being hurt by someone, a stranger or a loved one is never easy. Some of us never get over it. We lose hope in people and begin to be generally untrusting and mean towards others who are undeserving. It becomes hard for us to get close and open ourselves up to others. We then become alone, simply because we were too stubborn to see what is all around us. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone. Yes sometimes you can’t just simply forgive them for what they have done, but you have to try. We have to. By at least talking with the person about it and questioning their actions, we can at least find some form of closure if not determine whether or not they are deserving of forgiveness. It can also help us practice that one trait that can set us apart. Compassion.

Forgiving someone can be hard, but it can make things better. You could become closer to others and make them more respectful of your feelings. By showing others in an indirect way that you are willing to be compassionate, you could in turn inspire the same in them. Imagine what that could do.       

Anger and frustration can be caused by many different things. Mostly it seems we get angry at one of two things; people or the world in general. Things happen to us that cause us to "see red" and do things that we either end up regretting or in turn cause more problems. There are times when we act out of anger that can in turn accomplish something, but these instances are so rare that we cannot count on them. We find ourselves getting frustrated and wondering what can be done.

The relationships we share with others can make us susceptible to conflict. Opening ourselves up to others leaves us vulnerable to situations that can cause anger and unhappiness. Gossip and arguments leave us feeling like people don't understand or thinking that they don't really care. We get angry when people don't listen or simply ignore our feelings. We shout and accuse when someone disagrees with our actions and opinions, or become desperate when we feel attacked. We experience everything from panic to an adrenaline rush towards the person's words or actions. Some want to fight and others want to just let it go and pretend it never happened.  Sometimes we become physical and worsen the situation. We say and do things that we never imagined or intended and afterwards wonder why such things happen.

The world around us can seem unfair and unjust. We look at the way things happen and get angry because we feel things can be better. We see things that we cannot stand for. We see groups shouting they know the way and condemning others.  Nature being butchered, people enslaved and slaughtered, groups formed on the basis of hate and corrupt governments are all things that invoke a feeling of hopelessness which causes anger and ultimately fear. We raise our voices in protest and riot. Destruction and death become tools we never intended to use. Sides clash with each other and we realize too late, or never at all, that there may be a different way.

Anger, quite simply, is a strong feeling of displeasure or hostility. Anger can leave us with regrets and depression. Many cannot control their anger and end up in a vast amount of trouble and seeking help. Many ignore their anger and bury their feelings until the cup runs over and causes a breakdown. Anger in turn is generally frowned upon by the whole of humanity. This does not necessarily have to be the case.

I have found in my life that anger can become a tool in itself. We do not need to submit to its byproducts. We can call upon the source as a catalyst. When we get angry there usually comes a point afterward where we calm down. We must practice coming to this point; a moment where the anger subsides if even for a moment and we ask, "Why?" The majority of the time we move right past this moment either simply not acknowledging it or thinking it futile. That moment is in fact our answer, our direction and the path towards a solution. If we expand on the questioning of our anger, we slowly come to conclusions or ideas that could in fact lead us to answers. Worldly issues can be solved by simply counteracting someone else's anger by using your own to focus your actions into, say; forcing a hate group to see your acts of compassion. Becoming angry over an argument or gossip can be used to show someone how much you really care. Stopping just for a moment to apologize or to simply ask the other person why it is the two of you are doing this. Anger can be thought of as your soul asking you to get serious and focus on a problem that desperately needs your attention. Anger can be a gift.   

I find it's easy to give in. It's easy to get depressed. It's easy to think about something until your opportunity has passed. We find ourselves wanting more and yet making no progress. Moving forward is only possible if you want it bad enough to go get it. You have to take a chance in order for something to be put into motion. The idea of taking the first step seems so absurd and difficult. In turn, our dreams remain just that, dreams. You cannot proceed down your desired path if you don't start walking. Fear of failure can keep us from even making an attempt. Fear can debilitate and hinder us from ever even believing it is possible. How can we possibly know what would happen if we do not try?

Taking chances is the essence of life. Without that, life has no meaning. People want meaning and purpose in their lives. They want to believe that something bigger than them is at work, and in a way they are right. Life is bigger than all of us. The experiences we have in our lives bring us to a level of enlightenment that never seems possible. Once we are made to see our lessons and accept them, we become the very things we have learned. We can then pass others advice that can give them direction and examples. Just one act of kindness can stay with someone for eternity, even after that person is gone. The others that knew of it will be affected. Some will learn, others will know and still some won't believe that such things are possible in their own lives. This is where some settle.

Fear causes us to settle. Settle for the idea that there is no hope. We believe that things just don't work for us, that something is just wrong with ourselves. Fear drives us to pine away in our own self loathing and let our lives slip away. We need to remember that things go wrong and are difficult for very important reasons.  If everything was handed to us, we would end up never being satisfied. If we never had to try for anything, we would never learn anything from our failures. And that's just it. Without "failing" we would never actually take away anything from any situation, whether we fail or not. "Failing" teaches us patience and drive: patience to learn the correct way to do things in order to better ourselves, and the drive to keep going until we learn. There is in fact no reason to fear anything at all. If we fear the lessons we are to learn, then we in fact end up fearing our very lives. It's easy to be afraid of our lesson. It's easy to back away from a certain failure. It's easy to give up and not even try. It's easy to let our lives just slip away.

Faith.

Faith is confidence or trust in a person or thing.

Well that happens to be a very dry definition for something that means so much. We must have faith. Without faith what is there? Only hopelessness, depression, discord, a feeling of emptiness and a lack of drive. So many people will either reject the ambition to live, or they will accept it. Accepting this desire will drive people to search for something. We contemplate our lives, our situations, our dilemmas and eventually our actual existence in order to set a goal towards this something. We simple find something to yearn for and attempt steps toward it.

It is during these steps that we sometimes lose this drive. Fear and the doubt of fulfilling our search cause us to lose the ambition we had. Setbacks and problems cause us to feel that the path is hopeless and we become depressed and sometimes angry. We then tend to hope and take faith in the fact that through perseverance we will actually obtain our goal. Now as it so happens a lot of the time we cannot find a reason for this hope. Lots of people don’t even try to be so optimistic. The problems we face on our path can be so disheartening, so intimidating that we doubt our very ability as a person to even take steps towards our goal. Having faith in something can give you the courage to get passed all of this. But what should you have faith in?

Religion and spirituality can give us comfort and examples to live our lives by, which give us a sense of being and oneness. Politics and economics can put us to work on issues that can give us direction, a sense of accomplishment and make us feel like part of the group. We could focus on family and friends who bring love, happiness, anger and sadness into our lives, giving us emotions and sentimental experiences that stay with us forever. Having faith in something can change your life. But it really has nothing to do with what you believe in. The point is to simply have faith. Something! Anything! Hope for something in your life and work towards it. Even if you never actually touch you r goal, the path you have traveled along the way is priceless. No one can ever take that from you. Have faith in everything around you. Have faith in your life because you exist. Be the personification of existence.

i am with you always

So what now? What comes next? I hear people from all walks of life having the same problems. So many different people, with all the same questions. What are we to do? Everyone can acknowledge that something must be done, but what? So many have different standpoints on so many different topics that finding a common ground seems hopeless. Humanity strives to fix itself. And there in lies the problem. So many believe that humans are defective, that we cannot achieve the level of perfection we desire. And at the same time others believe that humans are an example of perfection and that the world we live in is in someway broken and needs our help. Many wait for the day when Mother comes to fix everything. Countless people have yet to claim their own lives. Born into a world where illusions of grandeur are fed to you from day one. People spend their entire lives trying to find a level of contentment that couldnt exist. Feeling let down and frustrated, many lose all hope and simply fall into a routine, expecting that feeling to go away.

So what now then? With such misdirection, why not throw in the towel and admit defeat? What could we possibly have in common that could bring us together and still celebrate our differences? Simple. I ask you to think of the one thing that everyone has in common. The one thing that if approached by the individual, would give him or her a meaning and a purpose. The one thing that if accepted by humanity could give us a dearly needed new perspective. Most people spend much of their time straining themselves looking for the answers to these questions on the horizon. Far off distant answers that could take months of deduction and research to obtain. But this is never the case. The answers we seek are right in front of our noses, out of focus. The one thing that all humans have in common is that they are all human.

But how could that possibly save all of humanity? Simple. By accepting the fact that we are all human we accept the fact that we all suffer in our own way. And if anyone reading this has ever suffered you know that a lesson can be learned from that suffering, if you accept it. Human beings have suffered from the beginning of time, whether it be personal or as a whole. A simple point can be learned fro this like any other problem. In order to be happy you must suffer. It is impossible to contemplate one without knowing the other.

If you have gotten this far I must apologize for the rambling. Let me put this simply. We are all human beings. And being human has one guarantee, death. We must remember that while things seem hopeless they are in fact not. By living your life and spreading compassion to all around you, we can find purpose in a life that seems to be without.

i am with you always    

When thinking of Death, it is important to remember the story of the little caterpillar:

"There once was little caterpillar. The little caterpillar loved to eat leaves and bask in the sun. When the caterpillar started to become an adult, the other caterpillars told him how one day he would have to enter the cocoon. This came as a surprise to the caterpillar. He didn't understand why none of the other caterpillars knew what it was like in the cocoon. This scared the little caterpillar so much that he lived his life in fear of that day, as did all the other caterpillars. And then finally the day came, it was his time to enter the cocoon, he didn't want to, but he had to, for this was the natural cycle of all caterpillars. So reluctantly, he entered the cocoon, and became a beautiful butterfly."