Some exciting developments of late, I guess.  I met Jonny's kids. I was nervous about that. Really nervous. They don't seem to hate me, which is nice. I was not terribly happy about meeting my parents' "friends" when I was their age.

We'll see how things go.

I never think of myself as being good with kids, but we have played frisbee and had dinner together a few times. We went bowling this weekend, played Monopoly and generally horsed around and CHRIST ON A RAFT I AM TIRED.

Otherwise, mostly there is work and getting used to new medications and so, so, so happy to be finally sleeping through most of the night for the first time in years. This seems to be helping with the fibromyalgia stuff... I now feel like I'm about 70, instead of 80. This is generally held to be an improvement.

I've been at Java for two years (the longest I've been at a job since I graduated from college) and am now eligible for benefits & vacation days. I am so excited that I might actually be able to afford to take days off. I can hardly contain myself.

Getting ready for the big move. For the record, State Collegites, I will buy you a case of whatever beer you want if you come move furniture for me.

Seriously. I will be your best friend.

The last couple of months have been pretty rocky, and after some encouragment from Jonny & my therapist, I enjoyed a brief vacation at the hospital last week. Which was good, I guess. It's the first time I've had doctors seriously taking a look at me...and after much group therapy in which we were told not to label ourselves, they labeled me bipolar (which makes me think of polar bears who swing both ways). I am also not sleeping well, and haven't for years, so they think that if I start sleeping better, my pain will be less severe, which will lessen the depression, which will lessen my anxiety (I have a lot of anxiety).

So I am sleepy & moody.

But at least I am on medications for bipolar (sometimes, the bears are wearing leather chaps) disorder, as opposed to being on anti-depressants which never worked for me. It's going to take a while for everything to really stablize, but it's nice to have something to look forward too.

That's all for now. Happy spring.

I am now officially a burden of the state. Technically, I count as a worker with a disability. I suppose that is something to be happy about. But at least I can go to the doctor's now. I am excited.

In other news, I am considering moving back to the big city. And by big city, I mean State College. Bellefonte is pretty and quiet, but it is far away from everything. There are a couple of apartment complexes that are relatively inexpensive in town, so I can afford a place on my own.

I do not want a roommate.

Josephine is roommate enough.

And by roommate, I mean malignant black ball of feline fury.

Also, I would be able to ride my bike to work. I need to be exercising more. I don't go to the gym often enough, especially when I am depressed. Blah...

I think I'll feel better when the weather gets better.

Tomorrow will be 15 years since Kate died. I'm the same age this year as she was. I can't begin to describe how weird that is.

In defiance, I'm going to go draw a huge, hot bath tonight.

And read Master & Margarita.

**NERD ALERT**

I can't wait till the new translation comes out. I found the 2006 translation on amazon, plus a brand-spanking new version. So as soon as I have some extra cash, I will be ordering those. Right now I am reading the Penguin edition, which is a very literal translation, so certain turns of phrase (turn of phrases?) don't make as much sense in the English version. The Vintage edition is still my favorite, but it's very free with certain things.

The nice thing about reading both version at the same time is that sometimes the literal translation actually adds to the freer translation. There's a bit where a telegram delivery woman arrives at the office of Rimsky and Varenukha... in the Vintage edition, she is just very short with them and you get the impression that she is in a hurry but not sure why. In the Penguin edition, she announces that she is deliverying a "super-lightning telegram," which the footnote explains is Bulgakov's parody of the lightning telegram, which did exist at that time.

So it's not just that she's a messanger, but that she's supposed to be a super fast messanger. That doesn't come across as clearly in the Vintage edition.

It's not important, but it does make for a better understanding of the story.

And a better understanding that I am a nerd.

HUGE. NERD.

Sorry. If you've read this far, congratulations. You get a gold star. And now you know that you should totally be reading the Vintage edition of one of the greatest pieces of literature of the 20th century.

Dad & Celi had to put Annie down last Wednesday. This has been as sad couple of months for greyhounds at our house.

I miss my puppies. :(



Annie, Omar, Celi & the Garden.

GEARRINGS! ha ha. I am hilarious sometimes.

Pendant in process. Not sure that I'm digging it the way I want to though. Drat.
 

Eyeball necklace.

I used the eye from a portrait of Elizabeth I. The blue-ish ones are from a Mark Ryden painting. Cause he does super creepy eyes... well, OK, super creepy EVERYTHING. Google him.

Slightly less creepy, but still weird... I have boxes of my grandfather's fishing flies that he used to make. I thought the poppers were cool. And therefore, I put them on jewelry. With the hooks still attached. Hooray tetanus!

Vintage erotica with gears!

The censored versions...

Bettie Earrings... *sniff sniff*

Look! I make normal stuff sometimes!

The divorce was finalized on November 14.

I am officially Joslin-Jeske again.

So there is one stressful thing that is done. It's for the best... I am sad though.

On the lighter side of things, I received a 25¢ raise today.  So things can't be all that bad.

So I was turned down again for health insurance. Privatization sucks it.

Fortunately, the company sent me a very nice form letter with a link to state programs. Supposedly, my "chronic condition" qualifies as a "disability." I know that some people are disabled by fibromyalgia, but I'm lucky enough that this hasn't happened. So it feels weird calling it a disability when I am rarely disabled by it.

Oh well... if it means I can visit a doctor when I get strep throat, I'll be happy.