Richard,

We were invited to participate in our first radio interview, which went anything but smoothly. Initial excitement was quickly dampened by a series of events which will, to put it lightly, harm our reputation as a pop group.

The first set of questions were easily answered, and everything moved well except for one caller who verbally abused Renee on the air - this was, of course, water off a duck's back. Things really started downhill, however, when Tony made a number of volatile statements centered around ethnicity, not realising that he was on the air. David had a lot of trouble with the fact that he had to share a microphone with Renee, who he refered to as the white Yoko Ono and a primadonna, and the situation was reduced to a momentary struggle during which he attempted to pry the microphone from her hands. On top of everything, Renee had showed up heavily intoxicated, and had to excuse herself twice during the interview to "use the bathroom".

It is safe to say, Richard, that we will not be invited back.

***yoome.

Richard,

I was concerned that the band would not get it together for the show they had on Sunday the 27th. David was cleaning out the bar and Renee was nowhere to be found, having ventured south down Elston Avenue in search of cigarettes and pixie sticks. Tony Trimm was dressed in an elaborate matador outfit, yet the look on his face before the performance was expressive of sadness and imminent failure.

Despite all my predictions, Tony Dave and Renee pulled off a pretty fair first show, Renee having to be helped back to the microphone only twice, and David preventing a scene by vomiting descretely into a plastic cup. The audience were appreciative of the fact that the band members were more like real people than they had expected. One audience member pointed out that Renee's satin jumpsuit was very much like one worn by the female villain character in Superman II. Another viewer describes: "both of them were swirling their bodies in similar motions".

All in all everyone made twenty dollars, with which they bought taco bell dinners.

***Yoome

Richard -

Renee has been overly worried about a small red mark on her left shoulder. She has felt it neccessary to limit her outings from the house, and to avoid lifting of even small household items. We are strongly urging her to ease up on her anxieties, because it appears in our opinion to be a simple rash, perhaps from the dryness of winter and airconditioning. She won't be swayed. You have had some natural medicine training - does this look like anything at all to you? [photograph attached].

Yours, Yoome.

Richard,

David has made a heat-of-the-moment purchase of a parakeet which he keeps in our livingroom. We are attempting to convince Dave to relocate the birdcage to his own bedroom, to save our having to wake at extreme hours of the morning. Tony has had some reservations about asserting his personal boundaries, but I have learnt from you, if nothing else, the importance of voicing our issues before they create catastrophes.

***Yoome.

Richard,

we are enjoying this brief break from our day to day. Orlando is an unusual experience... Dave has started selling Noni juice and we are all here to support him while he attends a convention. I fear he has become involved in a pyramid scheme, Mr R, and you know how Dave gets. He won’t listen to our reasoning. Perhaps you could call and pretend like you were just checking in?

***yoome.

Richard,

Our mutual friend Tony has been transitioning to a new job in the food industry, and is enjoying his hands-on career choice as a way of blocking out old feelings of despair. He says to tell you "remember that discussion we had on the walk back to your place? Well she said no, and now I feel like I’ve made an ass of myself." Between you and I, I don’t know how he keeps his momentum up, Mr R. Such endless hope despite the concrete world we live in.

***yoome

Richard,

I left the cat food in a small container to the left of the sink.

Could you also send David a letter for me saying, and I quote, "I apologize for the rash things I said to you at the hotdog stand. I was hurt by the way you and Tony called me a coward, and I was also very drunk."

Dave has been going through a pretty rough divorce, Mr R, and I am sure you will understand he is getting his life together, and his finances. Expect him to pay you back shortly. Why do I continue to speak on his behalf? It is a habit I need to grow out of.