heinekin is "the good stuff"

people drinking sparks from a wine glass

trans am in the front yard of a trailer

dad still has the christmas lights up in the trailer

the indoor pets consist of a snake, goldfish, rat, ferret, dog, and cat

the bar in the the same parking lot as your house

everyone knows you by first name

busch is the everyday beer

im in a trailer park

"step on it... ford power"

"the ford crown vic is a cadillac in desguise"

all the furniture is from the 70's

no family car that runs

"wanna go beat the fuck out of the neighbor... he is used to it"

when the neighbor comes over at 3am to show you a video on youtube

a bottle of wine causes the neighbor to dance with everyone and attempt to get naked

"we only drink busch when were broke, see i usually get budwiser" 

the neighbors met through an online dating service

more to come...

j/k

TO THE GIRLS. FR0M A GUY

Don't assume that guys won't care where you are, because we do. It makes us feel secure to know that our girlfriends aren't off flirting with guys we've never heard of. Also, don't talk about your ex-boyfriends.We never have, nor never will respect or like them. Nor, do we want to hear about them. When you do, you're asking your boyfriend to be jealous. You're asking your boyfriend to lose trust. On that, don't hump everything that walks into the room.We don't care if you talk to other guys. We don't care if you're "friends" with other guys. But, when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off. It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there. Also, when we tell you you're pretty, beautiful, gorgeous, cute, or stunning, we freaking mean it. Don't tell us we're wrong. We'll stop trying to convince you. The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence. Yeah, you can quote me. Don't be mad when we hold the door open. Smile, and say "thank you". Let us pay for you. Don't "feel bad". We enjoy doing it. It's expected. Smile and say - everybody together now..."thank you". Kiss us when noone's watching. If you kiss us when you know nobody's looking we'll be more impressed. You don't have to get dressed up for us. If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have, put on every kind of make-up you own. We like you for who you are not what you are. Don't flirt with guys when we're not around. We'll find out. Trust me.We have eyes everywhere. And when we find out, we're pissed. Not nessecarily with the guy you flirted with, more-so with you. Don't take everything we say seriously. Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it. Don't get angry easily. Stop using magazines and media as your bible. Don't talk about how hot "Tom Cruise" or "Brad Pitt" is in front of us. It's boring, and we don't care. You have girlfriends for that. Whatever happened to the word "handsome"? Why does everything have to be "hot or sexy". I'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me with a "hey handsome" instead of a "hey baby, stud, cutie, sexy" whatever you can think of. Claiming girls or guys to be "hot" shows immaturity. Girls, I cannot stress this enough, if you aren't being treated right be a guy, don't wait for him to change.Ditch his sorry, disgrace-to-the-male-population ass, and find someone who will treat you with utter respect. Someone who will honor your morals. Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest.

Thanks