Gender: Female
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 44
Sign: Taurus
State: Indiana
Country: US
Signup Date: 3/10/2008
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Tuesday, December 15, 2009
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Current mood:  inspired
Category: News and Politics
Man Allegedly Kills Ex-Boyfriend Over Breakupby Kilian MelloyTuesday Dec 8, 2009A North Miami Beach man was murdered at his home Dec. 3--allegedly by his ex, who police apprehended after a short pursuit, and who was reportedly covered in the victim’s blood.
Charles Brown and Gregory Higgs, both 54, had been together for seven years when Brown broke off the relationship, reported the Miami Herald on Dec. 7. Brown, a teacher at North Miami High School, did not offer a reason for the relationship’s end, according to authorities; Higgs then sent emails about Brown to school administrators and to family members, the article said.
According to authorities, Higgs chose a violent course of action after being rebuffed by Brown. Neighbors called police to report a man lurking in Brown’s building; later, they called again when the man stabbed Brown in his own apartment. Callers relayed the attacker’s position to police as he fled, and Higgs was apprehended a short time later.
The article said that the two had been friends in ..college.., and had been involved romantically over the last seven years.
The phenomenon of Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) is driven by similar motives, regardless of whether the couple involved is mixed-gender or same-sex, according to Sharon Staple, the executive director of the Gay & Lesbian Anti Violence Project. According to Staple, "the desire of one partner to control the other" is one major factor in all such dysfunctional relationships.
For same-sex couples who may already face shaming and hostility from sources outside the relationship, additional weapons are available for an abusive significant other. Staple noted that, "the tools that a batterer might use in a same sex relationship [include] threatening to out someone; things that are distinct to sexual orientation or gender identity that can be used to control.
"In LGBT relationships, it can be more about invoking some sort of shame as a way to make one feel small or powerless or helpless," Staple went on. "If you are in the closet or are young and don’t have a lot of resources or people you can talk to about your sexual orientation, that becomes a tool the batterer can use."
In many such relationships involving partners of whatever sexuality, "Threats are often used to control behavior or denigrate a person’s identity," Staple told EDGE. "That makes it a particularly insidious form of violence" that the abuser can use to "control... who you can see, talk to, what you can wear; even what kind of medications you can take." That last point is especially pronounced in gay relationships where at least one partner is HIV-positive; Staple told EDGE that, "One way the [abusive] partner can control them is to withhold medication or refuse to allow their partner to go to the doctor--or interfere with their health care generally. We see that frequently in a relationship where the victim is HIV positive."
Staple noted that the end of a relationship is especially fraught with the danger of abusive behavior, with one partner seeking to prevent the other from leaving through threats or violence. "In fact, statistics about intimate partner violence consistently show that leaving is one of the most dangerous time in relationship; the time when violence is most likely to occur."
Physical and psychological domination on the part of partner may well depend on the mental and emotional state of the other; Avy Skolnik, the coordinator of Statewide and National Programs for the Gay & Lesbian Anti Violence Project, told EDGE that, "our anecdotal sense is if somebody is equal in weight and size to the [abusive] partner, they may be able to defend themselves equally. But often, they feel like they can’t or shouldn’t physically respond to being assaulted." Skolnik also noted that although substance abuse did not cause abusive behavior, it could worsen instances of IPV.
Kilian Melloy reviews media, conducts interviews, and writes commentary for EDGEBoston, where he also serves as Assistant Arts Editor.
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Tuesday, December 15, 2009
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Current mood: inspired
Category: News and Politics
Not-so-happy holidays
 By AP Photo/Eric GayFloria Roberts holds a photo of her sister, domestic violence victim Evairene Flores O'Connor, at her home in San Antonio, Friday, July 17, 2009. Texas has joined 13 states, including Colorado, Massachusetts, Illinois and Michigan, that have passed laws requiring GPS monitors as a condition of probation for a convicted domestic violence offender. Missouri is also making significant strides in the fight against domestic violence.Maryville Daily Forum  Tue Dec 15, 2009, 07:41 AM CST
Maryville, Mo. -
The holidays are supposed to be a happy, fun-filled time for families and friends; however, for many women and children, the holidays will be a terrifying and sometimes possibly deadly experience. According to Charlotte Gunsolley, victim advocate for the Children and Family Center of Nodaway County, a 57 percent increase has been seen in requested services as there was during this same time period last year. "The holidays, economically stressful times, times of extreme heat and cold, seem to bring out the best in everyone," Gunsolley said sarcastically. "Families are together more, alcohol and drug usage increases. These become additional excuses for a batterer to escalate his or her physical and emotional assaults." Gunsolley said locally, she has been seeing many more young 20-30-year-old women with and without children who are swept off their feet by their boyfriend or spouse and then, isolated from family and friends, and subjected to emotional and physical violence. She said the violence many times begins with:
— intimidation and violence (bullying, pushes or shoves)
— verbal abuse (saying things that are cruel and hurtful)
— controlling behavior (not letting her work or take her medication, controlling all the money, making all the decisions about the house, her clothing, where they go and who they can or cannot visit)
— extreme jealousy (of anyone or anything that takes her time away from the relationship, requires her to account for all of her time, accuses her of flirting or having affairs, calls her frequently to see where she is and who she is with)
— rape or force in sexspiritual and religious abuse (misusing religious passages or beliefs to reinforce abuse –– emphasizing her forgiveness and not his repentance and responsibility or refusing to allow her to attend church or spiritual gatherings)
— use of privilege (beats her like a servant; makes all of the big decisions, withholds medical attention, uses social status or job status in the community to question her credibility).
"When clients finally realize what has happened to them, it takes a while to get the courage to leave or learn to survive safely if they decide (for many reasons) to stay in the relationship," Gunsolley said. "There is a measure of embarrassment and fear of the unknown. Many times they do not have jobs, money or affordable housing. Gaining the tools to learn who they were, what they want to do with their lives, how to like and then love themselves again, regaining their faith in their ability to make decisions ... It is a process that takes time, resources and support from their families, friends and community –– and from domestic violence shelter programs such as the Children and Family Center of Northwest Missouri.
Executive Director of the center, Muriel Zimmerman, said victims are behind the statistics –– women and children in our communities — who often need help and protection they never receive.
"It is vital we take the time to raise awareness of domestic violence and the need for additional resources to ensure help is available to all who need it," Zimmerman said.
The Children and Family Center of Northwest Missouri brings people together to provide a safe and nurturing place to learn and grow through abuse prevention. Services include a 24-hour crisis hotline, court advocacy, shelter, crisis management, case management, support groups, counseling and parent and community education. The center provided more than 2500 direct services to 498 clients last year.
Source: http://www.maryvilledailyforum.com/news/x1479446587/Not-so-happy-holidays
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Monday, December 07, 2009
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Current mood: inspired
Category: News and Politics
Written by Robert Waddell
| One of this past summer's blockbuster films "Wolverine" continued the comic book saga of mutants living among humans, metaphorically representing the "other" or "outsider." Interpretation of the first 3 previous films, characters struggle with society's intolerance, bigotry and xenophobia. In the first "X Men" movie, villain Magneto says, "There is no land of tolerance or land of peace....women, children, whole families destroyed simply because they were born different than those in power." This same metaphor can be applied to today's young Gay Hispanic living in the inner-city whose fight for acceptance in the Latino community involves both entrenched prejudices as well as financial viability to make ends meet. Too often homosexuals are thought of only as affluent as in television shows like "Will and Grace" or "Sex in the City." No one in the hood is ever thought of as Gay. And poor Gay Latinos have the added struggle to contend with of deep rooted homophobia in the Latino community. Gays are also thought not to experience domestic violence, which is not true. According to Lamba.org, "Domestic violence in the GLBT community is a serious issue. The rates of domestic violence in same-gender relationships is roughly the same as domestic violence against heterosexual women (25%). "As in opposite-gendered couples, the problem is likely underreported. Facing a system which is often oppressive and hostile towards queers, those involved in same-gender battering frequently report being afraid of revealing their sexual orientation or the nature of their relationship." http://www.lambda.org/DV_background.htmTake for example, the 19-year-old Dominican woman, who asked not be identified for this story. She remembers kissing a girl when she was a child and came out to her parents when she was 16. D.G., lets call her, said that her father said he knew it but she lost half of her friends in high school. When she came out to her grandparents in Santo Domingo, they said she was living against the will of God.
D.G. graduated from high school last year and short after her father threw her out of his apartment, not because she's Gay but because she couldn't help with the bills. She's not intending on going to college any time soon and says her job at a Bronx fast food restaurant is her only stability. Now she lives with a friend since leaving her former lover's home where she had been staying. In many ways, D. G. lives in a world of acceptance where she doesn't have to hide her identity. Her story, for the most part, sounds idyllic.
However, in mid-April, D.G. was walking home from work and was attacked by muggers who wanted to steal her cell phone. Her assailants cut her hand then ran off when they saw blood, she said. This is what she told her family, friends and co-workers. In fact, D.G. was attacked by her former lover after a violent jealous argument over the lover's previous girlfriend. D.G. threatened to leave and her girlfriend pulled out a kitchen knife slashing D.G's hand. She received 50 stitches at Jacobi Hospital. "Domestic abuse is always about power and control," writes http://www.rainbowdomesticviolence.itgo.com on their website, "One partner intentionally gains more and more power over his/ her partner. Tactics can include physical, emotional or verbal abuse, isolation, threats, intimidation, minimizing, denying, blaming, coercion, financial abuse, or using children or pets to control your behavior."
Surprising, D.G. said that she enjoyed the drama of seeing her lover become violent at the thought of her leaving. She said she thought the attention was a sign of love. D.G. said that she like provoking her former lover so she could see her emotions erupt as a sign of affection. D.G. said she loved the drama. Evidently, even in the Gay community, domestic violence is as prevalent as in the straight community. And D.G's idea of love can be as convoluted as in the straight community
Understanding the nature of domestic violence and how it can effect any relationship is always important as well as knowing one's rights. "Although much advancement has been made in the provision of services," writes http://www.aardvarc.org/dv/gay.shtml on their website. "The enforcement of the law, and the equality of protections available to those in GLBT relationships over the last decade, it is important for you to be aware of your rights and options as they relate to your attempt to escape an abusive relationship." Source: http://www.mylatinovoice.com |
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Friday, November 20, 2009
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Current mood: inspired
Category: News and Politics
The equality of abuse
by Dawn Griffin Published Thursday, 19-Nov-2009 in issue 1143
In September, Pennsylvania State Rep. Daryl Metcalfe (R – Butler) temporarily derailed a resolution in his state’s legislature to recognize the month of October as “Domestic Violence Awareness Month” in the Keystone State. His reasons? According to Metcalfe, the resolution supported a “homosexual agenda” because of language in the resolution that mentions that “one in every four women and one in every nine men will experience domestic violence,” and that “one in six women and one in 33 men have experienced an attempted or completed rape.” Metcalf later told the Philadelphia Inquirer that the resolution “had language woven through it that brought men into the situation,” and that he doesn’t “support the resolution or funding for groups that go beyond helping women.” Few people would argue that domestic violence against women isn’t a serious problem. However, we need to fully acknowledge that victims can be anyone (men, women, straight, gay, children, elderly, and pets). Last year, an estimated 1.5 million women in the U.S. were victims of domestic violence by an intimate partner. Every 20.9 seconds, somewhere in America a woman is battered. Six children in every classroom witness domestic violence and four of these six children are direct victims of abuse and/or neglect. In 2008, San Diego County had close to 17,000 reported incidents of domestic violence and 14 known domestic violence-related deaths, according to SANDAG and the San Diego County Domestic Violence Fatality Review Team. Metcalfe’s actions sent a dangerous message that overlooks a sobering reality: 835,000 men – straight and gay – were domestic violence victims in the U.S. last year, too. It means that every 37.8 seconds, somewhere in America a man is battered.
Unwanted equality Sadly, ignorance about same-sex domestic violence is widespread. Most people don’t know that GLBT couples experience domestic violence at about the same rates as their straight counterparts. Between 25 and 33 percent of gays are victimized by an intimate partner – rates that are consistent with estimates of heterosexual ..relationship.. violence, according to statistics compiled by the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs, a leading advocacy group that reports annually on domestic violence trends in the U.S. If you ..apply.. these rates to the latest census data, one can estimate that more than 215,000 of California’s GLBT residents and as many as 60,000 of San Diego County’s GLBT community may be experiencing intimate partner abuse. By this measuring stick, the GLBT community has actually achieved a sad form of equality with straight people. Unfortunately, when it comes to assisting victims of same-sex domestic violence, equality appears no where in sight.
‘Double closet’ The truth is that straight or gay, most victims suffer behind closed doors and in a shadow of isolation created or sustained by their abusers. This shadow can be twice as dark for GLBT victims of domestic violence. Some researchers have compared same-sex intimate partner violence to coming out of a “double closet.” According to several studies conducted over the last 20 years, victims in the GLBT community are often even more isolated and underserved than their straight counterparts due to legal bias, sexism, and homophobia. In addition to the typical stigma associated with abusive relationships, GLBT victims of domestic violence are already dealing with the reality of living within a community that is smaller and more isolated. Sadly, ignorance about same-sex domestic violence is widespread. Most people don’t know that GLBT couples experience domestic violence at about the same rates as their straight counterparts. GLBT victims have added vulnerabilities that can be exploited by an abuser. Perpetrators often threaten to “out” the victim to friends, family and coworkers. In some cases they threaten to make reports to authorities that might jeopardize a victim’s child-custody, immigration, or legal status. Services for GLBT victims make the picture even bleaker. First Responders often lack training or experience in dealing with same-sex domestic violence cases – particularly those involving transgender people. In some cases, such ignorance has resulted in transgender victims being thrown into the same jail cell with their abusers, according to the New York Lesbian, Gay, Transgender and Bisexual Domestic Violence Report 2003/2004. In many states, laws are written to protect legally married spouses to such a degree that a felony criminal charge is needed before an unmarried battery victim can obtain a protective order. To further complicate matters, alcohol and drug abuse affects an estimated 20 to 30 percent of the gay and lesbian population – a rate that is two to three times higher than the general population, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. And while alcohol and drugs don’t cause abuse, health and safety experts know they contribute to its frequency and severity. Facts like these (and Rep. Metcalfe’s sorry demonstration of logic and common sense) remind us how important it is to fight for equal services for GLBT victims of domestic violence. And now that California has cut funding to 94 domestic violence shelters by approximately 30 percent, while San Diego County has seen a 40 percent increase in domestic violence related deaths – as of June of this year compared to the same time period last year - the fight against domestic violence in all communities is even more essential.
Strategic prevention steps The GLBT community could benefit from a strategic action plan incorporating the following: Factual community education campaigns that increase public understanding of domestic violence prevalence and challenges within the GLBT community. Increasing awareness of how alcohol and other drugs exacerbate domestic violence incidents, and achieving community changes reducing their availability and misuse. Advocacy of policy changes at government levels necessary to insure equal legal protection for same-sex partners being subjected to domestic violence. Assuring that First Responder training includes sensitivity to same-sex domestic violence cases. Advocacy of sufficient and equitable support services for GLBT victims of domestic violence.
Resources: • All victims of domestic violence should call 9-1-1 in case of an emergency. • San Diego Domestic Violence Hotline: 888-DV-LINKS (888-385-4657). Staff is on call 24 hours-per-day / 7 days-a-week for confidential support, DV shelter bed availability, counseling referrals and more. Bilingual (Spanish/English) services. • San Diego LGBT Community Center, 619-692-2077 / Hotline 858-212-5433. • For more information, see San Diego Domestic Violence Council’s Web site at: www.sddvc.org. Dawn Griffin, a forensic psychologist, is President of the San Diego Domestic Violence Council.
Source: http://www.gaylesbiantimes.com/?id=15855
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Tuesday, November 17, 2009
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Current mood: inspired
Category: News and Politics
Tue, 17 November 2009 at 12:20 pm Halle Berry Hosts An Evening of Awareness
Halle Berry shines on the red carpet as she hosts “An Evening of Awareness” at New York City’s Crosby Street Hotel on Monday (November 16). The 43-year-old actress hosted the event, which benefited the Jenesse Center, a domestic violence .. intervention.. program, and the Trevor Project, a 24/7 suicide and crisis prevention hotline for gay and questioning youth. Also pictured are celeb photographer Mark Liddell, Jenesse Center’s Karen Earl, stylista Bobbie Thomas and Today Show co-host Natalie Morales. Halle is a huge supporter of the Jenesse Center - you can tell she’s passionate about the cause! Source: http://justjared.buzznet.com/2009/11/17/halle-berry-hosts-an-evening-of-awareness/
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Monday, November 16, 2009
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Current mood: inspired
Category: News and Politics
South Boston arson deaths highlight domestic violence in same-sex relationships
by Peter CasselsEDGE ContributorMonday Nov 16, 2009The tragic deaths of two children in a Boston house fire last year shined a spotlight on a subject about which LGBTs often don’t like to talk--domestic violence among their own.
An ..investigation.. into the fire in a South Boston triple-decker that killed 14-year-old Acia Johnson and 2-year-old Sophia Johnson in April, 2008, alleged the cause was arson. The children died holding each other in a closet. The fire burned them so badly the medical examiner needed dental records to make positive identification.
The blaze also seriously injured their mother, Anna Reisopoulos, but Acia’s twin brother, Raymond, escaped unharmed.
The investigation revealed Reisopoulos and her girlfriend, Nicole Chuminski, had argued hours before the fire. Police arrested Chuminski after they discovered an accelerant on her clothing consistent with fuel investigators found on a door frame in the dwelling.
At her arraignment, Chuminski pleaded not guilty to two counts of first-..degree.. murder and one count of arson. She remains in jail pending trial because she was unable to post $1 million in bail. Each murder charge carries a mandatory life term without the possibility of parole, Jake Wark, a spokesperson for the Suffolk County district attorney, said. He told EDGE the trial will begin in January.
The children’s deaths are among the statistics in the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs’ 2008 GLBTQ Domestic Violence Report. The report showed a 125 percent increase in fatalities, from four in 2007 to nine in 2008. Coalition members reported 3,419 instances of domestic violence in the United States last year.
Two Boston organizations, The Network/La Red and Fenway Community Health, provided data for the report. The Network/La Red offers a hotline, support groups, an emergency shelter and other services. It also lends education and technical assistance to organizations and community groups. Its staff provides services in English and Spanish. Fenway Health has a support program for LGBT domestic violence survivors. And both organizations prefer the empowering word "survivor" to "victim."
Beth Leventhal, The Network/La Red’s executive director, says LGBT partner abuse can be just as lethal as it is among heterosexual couples and, as the South Boston case illustrates, devastating to children.
Leventhal maintained in a phone interview with EDGE she feels domestic violence often remains hidden among gays and lesbians.
"This is an issue that has been with us forever, but we don’t talk about it," she said. "It mirrors what happens in the heterosexual community. We only hear about it when there’s a murder. In the straight community you hear people say, ’I had no idea. He was the nicest guy’." People may know such individuals as control freaks, but fail to make the connection with violence. "But it is," she emphasized. "There may or may not be physical violence, but the point is someone will do whatever they can to control their partner."
Leventhal added there are many ways partners use control as a weapon. An example is taking advantage of a partner who is undocumented and for whom English is a second language by forbidding them from speaking in their native tongue or threatening they will call immigration authorities and have them deported.
She said it remains hard for LGBTs to recognize and acknowledge partner abuse, in part, because they don’t want to confirm stereotypes.
"People already think that we are sick, violent, can’t be trusted in bathrooms and are predators," Leventhal explained. "No one wants to potentially have their experience used as an example in the community."
Another reason is because partners don’t want to let people know they are in a relationship where domestic violence occurs.
"They have to prove that they are a poster child for their community," Leventhal contended.
Compounding the problem is violence against LGBTs, which is now a federal hate crime.
"People want a place where we know we are safe," Leventhal said. "It’s clear that often we are not safe in the straight world. Where we are safe is in our communities."
Statistics show about 30 percent of couples--gay and straight--experience domestic violence. It’s a phenomenon that knows no boundaries, whether sexual identity, orientation or geography. Incidents occur in urban, suburban and rural areas.
Leventhal further explained domestic violence is not only physical--it is also emotional, sexual, economic or identity-based.
"For example, they might use their own or their partner’s identity as a weapon," she said. "A lot of people are abused in their first relationship. Without a lot of healthy role models, it’s really easy for a batterer to say, ’Now that you have come out, you can’t go to parties and hang out with friends. Now your attention must be on me’."
The isolation LGBTs sometimes experience also can play a role.
"If you are not out to your family, friends, clergy, co-workers or medical providers, you can’t talk about the fact that you are in a relationship, much less the way in which that relationship doesn’t feel right," Leventhal said. "Most people don’t know what domestic violence is. What they do know is that it doesn’t feel good."
The troubled economy also further exacerbates the problem.
"I think it’s having the same impact as among straights," Leventhal continued. "Although stress and economic crisis do not necessarily cause domestic violence, it’s often an excuse that batterers use. And more people are unemployed, are at home and have more time to monitor, stalk and abuse."
As the economy negatively affects government and non-profit organizations, resources to help domestic violence survivors dwindle.
"The safety net is just decimated," Leventhal acknowledged. "People looking to leave the abuse have fewer places to turn."
Often survivors need a place to stay to get away from their batterers. They can use it for a cooling-off period before they find places to stay with family or friends, move out of state or find a new place to live on their own--if they can afford it. The Network/ La Red provides a safe place, but that’s only available from a few nights to no more than two weeks, Kaitlin Nichols, director of organizing and education, told EDGE in describing its limited resources.
There are few alternatives available to LGBT survivors. Other shelters for domestic violence survivors are not accommodating to their unique concerns and even those are always full.
"Many people are being turned away across the state," Nichols reported. "There aren’t enough services and people are struggling to make ends meet."
Among the recommendations the NAVC included in its report was funding more programs specifically for LGBTs; a challenge in hard times.
Another is increasing law enforcement sensitivity training. Police often don’t know how to deal with domestic violence among same-sex couples, even in a progressive state like Massachusetts.
"There have been horrific stories where people have been falsely arrested and their batterers have been set free," Leventhal reported. "Standard conduct is that there shouldn’t be dual arrests. Police have told people, ’If I have to come there I will absolutely have to arrest both of you, so don’t make me come.’ People also have experienced police anti-LGBT comments and violence."
The Fenway Health program helps domestic violence survivors cope.
"A lot of the work we do is based on trauma recovery," program coordinator Kelcie Cooke told EDGE.
For example, health care providers are clinically trained to treat post-traumatic stress disorder.
"We also go to court to help survivors apply for restraining orders or find pro-bono lawyers," Cooke explained. "And, we work with the Boston Police Department’s civil rights unit and do a lot of advocacy."
Peter Cassels is a recipient of the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association’s Excellence in Journalism award. His e-mail address is pcassels@edgepublications.com.
Source: http://www.edgeboston.com/index.php?ch=news&sc=&sc2=news&sc3=&id=99022
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Saturday, November 14, 2009
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Current mood: inspired
Category: News and Politics
Report of LGBT domestic violence finds 125% increase in fatalitiesby Hannah Clay WarehamStaff ReporterFriday Nov 13, 2009A new report on LGBT domestic violence has found that there was a 125% increase in domestic violence-related fatalities in 2008.
Boston has seen the real-life ramifications of the drastic increase. Nicole Chuminksi is alleged to have set fire to her girlfriend Anna Reisopolous’ South Boston home on April 6, 2008 after an argument, killing two of Reisopolous’ children.
"As seen in the national report, and echoed by the fire in South Boston, partner abuse in LGBT communities can be just as lethal as that in heterosexual communities," said Beth Leventhal, executive director of The Network/La Red, a local organization whose findings were included in the report. "And the effects of domestic violence on children can be devastating."
According to the results, police misconduct has become a rampant problem regarding the reporting of domestic violence. Reports of police misconduct in domestic violence cases increased in 2008 by 98%. According to the report, both the victim and the attacker are often arrested. Police officers often mistake victims with masculine gender expressions for the attacker.
Reports of domestic violence rose in certain race and ethnicity categories. In Latino/a communities, reports rose by 100%; in multi-racial communities by 91%; and in Black communities by 50%.
It was perhaps the immigrant community that saw the most startling increase of LGBT-related domestic violence, however. People with recent visas reported a 1,700% increase of domestic violence incidents, and refugees or asylees reported a 900% increase. The collection of immigrant statistics by the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs (NCAVP), the creator of the report, is a fairly new practice and unveiling disturbing trends of immigrant abuse.
The NCAVP’s annual report "addresses the pervasive problem of violence committed against and within lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer (LGBTQ) and ..HIV..-positive communities." A total of 3,419 cases were reported to NCAVP in 2008.
Along with the results, the NCAVP also released recommendations to quell domestic violence. The recommendations included an increase in "local, state and federal funding to LGBTQ domestic violence programs; support [for] community and non-profit based prevention initiatives;" and funding for the research of LGBTQ domestic violence. The report also recommended the enacting of LGBT-inclusive non-discrimination legislation.
The report’s inclusion of local organization The Network/La Red, a national leader on the issue of LGBT domestic violence, was unique this year. "It was an honor that the Network/La Red’s work was chosen to be highlighted in this year’s report," Kaitlin Nichols, the director of organizing and education, said. "Many people think of Massachusetts as an LGBT resource rich state. However, when it comes to domestic violence resources, LGBT survivors still face many barriers to accessing the same services and support."
If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, please call The Network/La Red’s bilingual crisis hotline at (617) 742-4911.
Source: http://www.baywindows.com/index.php?ch=news&sc=glbt&sc2=news&sc3=&id=99018
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Thursday, November 12, 2009
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Current mood: inspired
Category: News and Politics
Some warning signs of same-sex abuse or domestic violence include being afraid of your .. partner..'s anger or emotions, making decisions based on your partner's reacts, feeling threatened or blamed for all of the relationship problems, or any other forceful situation that makes you uncomfortable. If you've been a victim of domestic violence, here's how to get help: Time Required: Varies Here's How: If you're in immediate danger, seek a safe place and dial 911. Call 800.799.SAFE or email AVP@lambda.org. Your call is confidential and they will be able to assist you in this time of crisis.
Keep an overnight bag or emergency kit nearby just in case you need to leave your relationship. Include an extra set of toiletries, clothes and other essentials.
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Wednesday, November 04, 2009
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Current mood: inspired
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes
A Brief Introduction: Hello everyone. :) My name is Dee and it is wonderful and an honor to meet all of you. The support for this page has been outstanding and warms my heart. But it is not just my heart, but also the hearts of the people who come here to feel safe. Thank you. There have been so many questions for me and I have not had a chance to answer them all. I hope that I can cover some of them here. OK...so who am I? I am a 43 year old Lesbian Woman. I have been "Out Of The Closet" since the latter part of 1984 (I was 19 years old). I came "Out Of The Closet" and 3 weeks later I found out I was 6 weeks pregnant with my 2ND daughter. It was a rare site at that time to see a pregnant Lesbian. Both of my daughters are grown women now. I am a multi level Survivor. Child Abuse, Domestic Violence when I thought I was a "Straight Girl", and Domestic Violence as a Lesbian. But I am not a Victim. I am a Survivor. It was hard for me to understand when I was a Domestic Violence Victim as a "Lesbian." I had "Thrown" myself into what ever "Straight Domestic Violence" issues I could through the years, (and was sure I had "broke the cycle") but some how I wasn't recognizing the Domestic Violence I was witnessing in the LGBT Community. Then one day it hit me. I was a "Same Sex Domestic Violence Victim". Hard Headed, Independent, Strong, Stubborn, Earth Momma, Save The World, Be a Counselor to Everyone, Surviving Me. And not with just one girlfriend, but somehow it happened with 3 different women, over the last 23 years. I have been emotionally, mentally, verbally, and sexually abused. I had been hit, punched, stalked (literally for years), tackled, choked, and threats concerning my children, family, and friends. I left each one as soon as I could. So I had one more "Cycle to Break". I couldn't for the life of me figure out how they were getting into my very guarded personal space. It seemed the sharper I got the better the liar that entered my life. How could this be? So I did the all of the work of "Protective Orders", "Court Appearances", Logging time and places, because of Stalkers, and got my self in some really great Counseling. (Thank you "Julian Center" in Indianapolis) As a witness in a "Same Sex Rape Case" in Indiana, with one of these abusers, (She had raped someone right after she had physically attacked me) I got a real feel for the "System" in regards to same sex issues in our State. In Indiana same sex rape with Women is called "Sexual Deviate Misconduct." That person is now a "Registered Sexual Predator." As hard as it is to tell this story and admit what happened, we all need to know that Same sex domestic violence laws and issues are coming up more and more every day. Domestic Violence can happen to any one of us. Now my life is so different. I spent some time alone through the years, did some healing from the Abusers in my past, and I am in a very loving and tender relationship with someone I have known since I was 19. (That is a very cute story to be told some other time.) However in the process of going through all of this I noticed that it wasn't just straight people learning from this, but the LGBT Community needed to work with this subject as well. Victims and Abusers alike in the LGBT community need to Value and Empower themselves. This has been a "Silent Epidemic." Get some help if you need it. Even if the Counselors or Organizations that you turn to has no experience in LGBT Abuse, Abuse is Abuse and there are people and organizations who can help even if it means they learn some LGBT stuff with you, and from you. Most all of the people working or volunteering in these fields just really want to do their part to help people.....all people. I have discovered that the "Domestic Violence" and "Stalking" Laws for the Internet also need some work. With time I believe Internet laws will be more clear and precise. So where do we go from here? As far as we can!!! With Education and Self Empowerment. With the help of all of you I hope to get the message out that ALL people matter! At a time when the LGBT Community is in the Media constantly and issues like "Same Sex Marriage" and "Domestic" Laws are coming up, I cannot think of a better time to get this message out. Some of the Laws that are in question could also have EVERYTHING to do with "Domestic Violence" Laws for the Straight and LGBT communities! So today it is myspace, tomorrow who knows. I only know that together we can do this. Together we can make a difference in the lives of other people and our own. Once again I thank you, and I thank "myspace" for helping to make this page happen. ~ Dee ~ "Under The Oak Tree" (talk group) http://groups.myspace.com/undertheoaktreeFeel free to visit my other page: http://myspace.com/moonlightmedia 
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Friday, October 30, 2009
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Current mood: inspired
Category: News and Politics
Howard Brown Health Center in the Uptown neighborhood is home to the Violence Recovery Project, where the numbers of people seeking help are steadily rising.
Domestic violence rates in same-sex couples increase
....In a community often portrayed as focused on the right to marry, there is a side to homosexual relationships with much less of a spotlight. October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and it’s not just about men beating up women. While data shows that in Illinois same sex relationships make up for just 1.5 percent of domestic violence cases reported in 2007, it is up from 0.2 percent in 1997, according to the Illinois State Police.
But the coordinator of the Violence Recovery Project at Howard Brown Health Center in Chicago, Arryn Hawthorne-Jader, said there is a lot more shame among victims of same-sex abuse, which she said might lead to lower rates of reported incidents. “I think it’s a really taboo topic,” Hawthorne-Jader said. “We’re gay, and we have this problem too?” Hawthorne-Jader said homosexuals are just as likely as heterosexuals to be involved in an abusive .. relationship... Domestic violence is estimated to occur in 25 percent of all relationships. Howard Brown has been getting the word out about its services through advertising in gay magazines. The Center on Halsted is in the middle of a 16-week online domestic violence awareness campaign placed mostly with LGBT media Web sites in an effort to target people who look for dating or sexual partners through them. Hawthorne-Jader said she sees about 60 cases of same-sex domestic abuse in her office a year, a number that is on the rise. “The severities of cases we see are also increasing. But that could be because more people are aware of our services.” She said that in 2008, the number of people presenting cases to the Violence Recovery Project jumped by 40 percent over the previous year. Hawthorne-Jader, who is also a psychotherapist, said she receives calls from people far away as Florida seeking help. “Gay people are very isolated outside of big cities,” she said. “Sensitivities to certain issues are different in certain areas of the country.” While people generally seek help on their own, Hawthorne-Jader said sometimes police refer people to her office. Victims of domestic abuse go through initial free behavioral screenings through their therapists, who assess their four .. domains.. of safety: physical, emotional, sexual and .. financial... Domestic abuse is generally about power and control over one’s partner, Hawthorne-Jader said. “We want to assess whose life is getting smaller.” In some cases, even extreme abuse doesn’t end the relationship. A man stabbed by his boyfriend of five weeks continued to date him for a time after the incident. Warning signs in the relationship were ignored, according to a friend of the victim. Hawthorn-Jader said the explanation of staying in an abusive relationship is understandable. “Studies show it’s more dangerous when the victim does leave the relationship,” she said. “It’s a power threat to the perpetrator.” Although the stabbing incident is not an isolated incident, Hawthorne-Jader said she sees more cases in which financial and emotional abuse is more prevalent than physical abuse. While there is no way to totally prevent domestic violence, Hawthorne-Jader said it is important that more people are aware of this situation and know that help is out there. Who and when to call for help.............. Howard Brown Health Center’s Violence Recovery Project is open 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday through Friday. It is located at 4025 N. Sheridan Road, Chicago, Ill., 60613. Phone number is 773-388-8882. In the event of an emergency, Howard Brown says to call the Anti-Violence Crisis Hotline at the Center on Halsted (773-871-CARE) or the City of Chicago's Domestic Violence Help Line (877-863-6338 or 877-863-6339). These numbers are toll-free, confidential, multilingual and may be called 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Types of domestic violence that may occur in LGBT relationships.............. Physical Abuse: -anything that is physically hurting you (pulling hair, slapping, using weapons, shoving, hitting, restraining you) -depriving you of your sleep -using your disability against you -destroying property or hurting pets .. .. Emotional Abuse: -calling you names -making you feel bad about yourself -cutting you off from your family and friends -using jealousy, depression, insecurity, frustration or stress to justify actions -controlling what you do, who you see and who you talk to .. .. Sexual Abuse: -teasing you about your body parts -manipulating you to do sexual things when you do not want to / rape -videotaping without permission -coercing prostitution and sex with others -going beyond agreed-upon limits during sex .. .. Financial Abuse: -making you quit your job -controlling your financial resources -demanding control over household finances -not allowing you to have your own bank account, credit card, etc. .. .. Source: Howard Brown Health Center ....In a community often portrayed as focused on the right to marry, there is a side to homosexual relationships with much less of a spotlight. October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and it’s not just about men beating up women. While data shows that in Illinois same sex relationships make up for just 1.5 percent of domestic violence cases reported in 2007, it is up from 0.2 percent in 1997, according to the Illinois State Police.
But the coordinator of the Violence Recovery Project at Howard Brown Health Center in Chicago, Arryn Hawthorne-Jader, said there is a lot more shame among victims of same-sex abuse, which she said might lead to lower rates of reported incidents. “I think it’s a really taboo topic,” Hawthorne-Jader said. “We’re gay, and we have this problem too?” Hawthorne-Jader said homosexuals are just as likely as heterosexuals to be involved in an abusive relationship. Domestic violence is estimated to occur in 25 percent of all relationships. Howard Brown has been getting the word out about its services through advertising in gay magazines. The Center on Halsted is in the middle of a 16-week online domestic violence awareness campaign placed mostly with LGBT media Web sites in an effort to target people who look for dating or sexual partners through them. Hawthorne-Jader said she sees about 60 cases of same-sex domestic abuse in her office a year, a number that is on the rise. “The severities of cases we see are also increasing. But that could be because more people are aware of our services.” She said that in 2008, the number of people presenting cases to the Violence Recovery Project jumped by 40 percent over the previous year. Hawthorne-Jader, who is also a psychotherapist, said she receives calls from people far away as Florida seeking help. “Gay people are very isolated outside of big cities,” she said. “Sensitivities to certain issues are different in certain areas of the country.” While people generally seek help on their own, Hawthorne-Jader said sometimes police refer people to her office. Victims of domestic abuse go through initial free behavioral screenings through their therapists, who assess their four domains of safety: physical, emotional, sexual and financial.
Domestic abuse is generally about power and control over one’s partner, Hawthorne-Jader said. “We want to assess whose life is getting smaller.” In some cases, even extreme abuse doesn’t end the relationship. A man stabbed by his boyfriend of five weeks continued to date him for a time after the incident. Warning signs in the relationship were ignored, according to a friend of the victim. Hawthorn-Jader said the explanation of staying in an abusive relationship is understandable. “Studies show it’s more dangerous when the victim does leave the relationship,” she said. “It’s a power threat to the perpetrator.” Although the stabbing incident is not an isolated incident, Hawthorne-Jader said she sees more cases in which financial and emotional abuse is more prevalent than physical abuse. While there is no way to totally prevent domestic violence, Hawthorne-Jader said it is important that more people are aware of this situation and know that help is out there.
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