Deaths in the family are hard times. Having a distant relative go is a loss, but sometimes easy to recover from. Mine is a little more severe.
Losing my grandmother is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I've been through deaths of my best friend and my grandfather which were both very hard for me. I was a child when I lost my grandfather, so dealing with that was a little different. When Geoff died, it was hard knowing that someone I had grew up with and have been through so much with was gone.
My grandmother was a mother and a friend to me. The people who were fortunate to meet her will all tell you that it was a blessing to know her.
I have been very lonely without her here. I walk by her empty bedroom every day and it hurts. I just want to go in and sit and talk to her about whatever is on my mind. I'm under a lot of stress right now, and have been. Being able to talk to her about things and getting her advice was priceless.
Having family members around helps some. Everyone trying to be helpful to each other. The ones effected more, walk around like zombies..i.e; me.
This all seems like a bad dream that I cannot wake up from. I keep waiting for her to yell my name and ask me to get her a glass of water. I get nothing but deafening silence. It has been almost a week since I've got to sit down and talk to her. I've gotten used to seeing and talking to her everyday. I worked hard to keep her alive and away from deaths hand. Unfortunately I dropped the ball on this. The ol' Grim Reaper's bitch ass has been on a wrecking course for a week here in middle Tennessee. We've had major storms come through and level homes in its way. I don't know how many people lost their lives because of it, and I guess Grams was caught up in Deaths plan.
Its going to be a long time before my head is straight.
Pray to whatever God you pray to and thank him, or her for your family, and the blessings around you. One day, it'll all be gone and there is nothing we can do about it.

I want to thank all my friends for their support. I'm not naming names, but if you have had any contact with me during this past week, then this applies to you. I appreciate what you have done. Offering your friendship, or your shoulder. It means a lot to me. I know I can't say I have no friends, because I do.
Some of you who know me and are afraid to call because of not wanting to get in the way, please, by all means, call. You should have my cell number, or if you don't, call someone and get it. I won't mind hearing from you.
Thank you also, to Kristen & to my boys in the Seedz for being with me through all this. Dave for being with me no matter what, and John for being with me at the memorial service. Joon and his wife for the beautiful plant, and Chad for his love and advice.

~KeMo~

YODA: Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force. Mourn them, do not. Miss them, do not. Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed, that is.

ANAKIN: What must I do, Master Yoda?

YODA: Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.