http://vimeo.com/5021642

A video of my last trip to the Occupied Territories. I hope you enjoy this. Everyone should have the right to go home.

So, some of you might be like, what is the deal with the title. Happy Hardon Harry. Who is that? Well to all you young people in the world of the Angry Happy Arab, it's the main character that Christan Slater played in "Pump Up the Volume." Awesome fucking movie. A shy kid by day, a pirate disc jockey by night. Saying what's on his mind to free the people in a small Suburban Arizona neighborhood.

Yeahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! I say it again "Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! Hold on people....I just got to the scene where Samantha Mathis takes her shirt off. Amazing tits. Count to 10 for me ladies and gents, it's all I really need. (Sorry ladies.) Ok, done. Back to my point. HHH is a representation of what we should be saying to the world.

The politics today, it feels like we never left high school right? Always trying to figure out what is next in our life. The world still has it's camps. Democrats on the stairs, Republicans hanging out by the lockers. The Independents smoking joints in the bathroom stall. So which camp is the voice of the people? We are all worried, we are all in pain. But can't getting any fucking worse, cause it only gets better, right? Maybe I am just spouting some shit, but maybe I'm making sense to someone out there.

I came home today and got things done in my everyday life. I paid my bills and made sure the rent was in. I wrote, just cause I need to do it, even if it uninspired. Practice. But, I still have a emptiness in my stomach. Not sure what that is. Always hungry, always want more. But that is a good thing right? We should all want to aspire to something. That thought inspires me. I love the Republican swinging there shit out there, because they want. I love the Democrat for that too, because they want. I love the crack hustler on the Brooklyn Street corner, cause they want. Why aren't artists that way? They want, but it's a different type of want isn't? The ones that make it, other artists go and say," oh, they're commercial. Not keeping it real" What the fuck does that mean?!?!? Hustle baby. You paint, figure a way to sell that shit. You sing, figure away to have someone give you a dollar to hear you sing. You act, shit, figure away to be a star. But here is the thing...don't fucking suck! Cause then you're wasting our mother fucking time. HAH!!!!!!!! Ok...come on baby, come on baby ringing in my ear like Saigon's new track. Love life, love death, love it all.

Well, it has come upon us here in California. Super Tuesday, the day where we go out and officially nominate a delegate. You all must be wondering, well who is Mousa gonna vote for. I thought that myself how do I figure this out Hillary slept with our last cool president so must of learned a thing or two in the bedroom. Obama is a brother and looks like he can have a mean game on the basketball court. Ron Paul, well the man loves Palestinians so that is a big plus and McCain reminds me of that cooky old man living next door to me that threw beer bottles at us when we was growing up in Brooklyn. But my favorite so far, Huckabee. Now, some of you might say, Huckabee?!? Mous, is you crazy you muthaf$4er? Come on America, show me a delegatethat has Chuck Norris scratch and sniff stickers at the voting booth. Does Obama, does Hillary? No, my man Huckabee does. He has good ole Norris standing behind him in every campain. The man fought Bruce Lee. If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, guess who has more money, Chuck Norris. I'm not saying all these cool facts about Chuck Norris to dissuede your vote...well I kinda am, but come on America, do hate freedom?!?! So go a vote, make a selection, and know that, again not trying to influence the vote, but a scratch and sniff sticker is a rare thing these days. And so is a good canadate. (Just in case there are people who take this too seriously, my vote is Obama. Hope people.)

"In the name of the best within you, do not sacrifice this world to those who are its worst. In the name of the values that keep you alive, do not let your vision of man be distorted by the ugly, the cowardly, the mindless in those who have never achieved his title. Do not lose your knowledge that man's proper estate is an upright posture, an intransigent mind and a step that travels unlimited roads. Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it's yours."

 

When I am happy, I'm sad. Isn't that an oxymoron. When I am happy, I am sad.

Maybe, that is hand in hand. I just had a beautiful and great fourth. I made some new friends who introduced me to croqeut.(if that's how it spelled.) I had good drink, food and conversation. And then I got a chance to drive home. This is where the happy/sad comes in.

Driving home, I played some music. I played iron and Wines "Trapeze Swinger." There are beautiful lines that run parrelll with that melody. One point, he sings' "I hear that you're still pretty." Fuck, that gets me. Some things still stay inside you. And, it's not a good or bad thing...at least not at the moment, it is just...there. Lying in a hammock holding my hand in memory.

My life is moving forward. I mean all of our lives are. It's simply life. But how many of us can say that the past has been fulfilling? I mean, think about your life and say at what point did I really start living?

I have always lived. But I didn't start living, I didn't start taking it in till the past couple of years. I didn't start becoming aware until I let myself be. It's wierd that we have to give ourseleves permission for the littlest thngs that could frighten us.

I'm writing this jus becuase I am in that place and I felt like writing. It is what i do. I feel something, i have to go with it, good or bad, but never with regret. Those who know me, or are beginning too, that is who I am, and will be.

Fuck. There is so much inside us. So much...

my thoughts,

Mous

I'm alone now. Sitting in my cabin like studio a few block away from the Hollywood Blvd. Im alone now and felt like writing. Modest Mouse plays there mellow tunes in the background and I sit here and I write. I think.

I think to myself, am I being who I see myself as. Im trying. I really am. It's fucking hard being truthful. Easy being truthful to others, yet hard being truthful to myself. I have no idea why I just wrote that.

I miss the essence of Brooklyn. I can sit on the stoop with my friends as we do nothing all day but watch the B11 pass by every 20 minutes, sometimes later which meant the busdriver was getting his dick sucked by the pier on 69th.

I miss the truth of Brooklyn. The fact someone can sit beside you and tell you there thoughts and without judgement, that is who that person is, yet we never tried to change them, we just excepted that. That is who that person is, we love or hate you no less. You are you. LA tries to strip that from me.

LA tries. Brooklyn doesn't let it. I'm proud of who I am. I where my heart on my sleeve but have a knife in hand if you try to hurt that heart. Fuck you LA. I love what you give me, but I am not your slave to your system and all you produce.

My eyes are open, and open eyes have given me open love with the people I'm surrounded with. Thank you for that LA. Thank you for that Brooklyn.

I hold your hand real tight because...well...I'm afraid of letting go.

I'm just writing my thoughts. I'm alone now.

It was Sunday. Early evening. I sat on the gray pavement against the brick wall that reminded me of an old Brooklyn tenament with my monitor in my hand. The sun started to set, the light was going away, and for me my heart started to race.

To the lft of me the crew just watched, no one said a word. It was the final scene. My Guiwi and Franky, words from a page, came to life right in front of me again for the last time. A Higher power gave me my over cast day and just put angels around me in each and everyone of my crew. Everyone was in sync.

Sean, the assistant to the director, yelled out and it began. The players were set. The crew just watched. Sound was speeding and camera was rolling and I said action for one more time.

Everything was gray. Franky looked at Guiwi for one last time and saw his friend across from him and asked him one last time, "What happened in the end of that movie, the one with Pacino." And the look in Frankys eyes said it all. He alrady knew. He got in the car and drove off. My Franky drove off for the last time.

And then it was called. Everyone shouted and gave each other hugs for a job well done. The clapped, laughed and embraced. And I, the boy from Brooklyn, sat on the gray pavement against the brick wall that reminded him of the Brooklyn tenament and took it in as my soul reminded of the bliss of my life again.

"You do what you do best, try and stop guys like me, I do what I do best, I take scores," is what Neal mcKauley (DeNiro) said in Heat.

I just took down another score. I ain't never going back.

love,

Mous.

So, my dream of seeing the script ON FILM has come to life. Behind me are some amazing people who stuck out the weekend for the first two days of the shoot and did some amazing work.

I have to say, I never show it, but I am a kid in a candy store. I have amazing friends, amazing family, and the oppurtuinity to see my work flourish come to life. Not many people get that. I want all to read this to get that, to have those moments, because that is what life is, isn't?

Really cool moments.

So ROLL THE DICE muth%#^%!!! I want to know that all of you are doing it your way...with a smile on your face.

Look for clips real soon.

with love, passion, and a huge hardon for creating shit,

Mousa

So, from a request of few, not many, I've been asked to write again. Inspiration has come back. My current thoughts are for my friends, family, loved ones who are in my life and to those who will be.

My mantra is this. "Fuck the world don't ask me for shit, if you want anything you have to work hard for it." Quoted by Biggie.

I found myself running on the treadmill and this thought just kept hitting me and hitting me. How do I survive in a world that keeps giving you licks. You get the fuck back up.

Man, this past year has been good to me. Really and truly has. I came out to succeed in something, to live my dream and I have. Up and down, I have. I got to work with some great directors, actors and writers. I've made some amazing friends who I consider family. I've made a promise to myself and have kept it. And, I've even had a taste at what love can be like. I can truly say...I can admit to myself that I fell in love. And in the end, with the broken heart, it was worth it. Real Love is truly worth doing it to myself all over again. Because it was her, her fear, or whatever she wanted to call it that had nothing to do with me. I loved, and no one can take that from me.


And that's the goal for me people. It is not to be in the movies and make films. I am already doing that. My true goal, my true pursuit of happiness is unconditional love. To be able to give it to someone and this time get it back just as true, with no regrets, no looking to our pasts to hide in. Think about it, isn't that the only thing that matters. To know that you are loved and someone loves you back. To me, that makes me feel invinceable, that is what makes me move forward.

Look, I truly don't have all the answers. There are some things in my life that I need to straighten up, but who doesn't. The evolution here though is the awareness. Knowing who you are and what you can become, what your minds eyes is seeing.

Be great my friends, my family, and the ones my heart truly loves. Do not go backwards, because that is not life. Life, to me... is moving forward. It's about to move forward.

Mousa Kraish

Never wait for it. Never expect it. Never disown it. Never fuck with it. (it will fuck you Never want it. (let it just come) Never get mad if it hurts you (just take it in) Never abuse it I write this after having a coversation with someone. I expected thes amazing things, but come to realize the thoughts above, the circle that come's about a little to often. Enough. Simply, enough now..