So it is my second winter in New York.
This winter I have indulged in night walks, taking in the gold and green lights in shop windows, the garlands draped around way-older-than-me doorways, the cobblestone streets with lit up banners strung across them in the shapes of bells, snowflakes, star bursts- one after another after another.
I have watched the snow clump onto itself- sticky and stacking on the stoops, almost to defy gravity, white so white until the dogs get to it -melting yellow alien portal holes into its frozen face. I have inspected never-before-seen Christmas balls - a carved out Buddha, a smiley skull, a glittering octopus on top of the world. and have whistled along to jazzy Christmas tracks playing in the markets. I've bought hand made gifts on the streets under the open sky, stood in line for way too long at the post office, drank too many gallons of apple cider.
Something about Christmas feels richer here in the north. Older. Traditional. Tasteful. A turn of the head and I catch a Christmas tree through the glass of some random lobby SO beautiful that it makes me stop. to allow all of the details to come into focus.
I have to convince myself that i REALLY can not PROVE my love through material gifts. And jeopardizing my ability to pay my rent for the sake of showing some one that I really value there presence in my life is just. . . . silly.
Return to the core of the season. I love how complete strangers are repeatedly saying "Happy _______" from November through the first of January. What if we had other greetings that started in the word "Happy" throughout the rest of the year. Something like "Happy morning!" "Happy commute!" "Happy meal!" well, okay so McDonald's got that one. But you get the idea. Just hearing the word "happy" over and over makes me well, happy.
So it is a consumerist holiday. So we are all getting stressed out and dragging dead trees into our living spaces. So we are forced to sit with family. So we aren't successful in turning down high concentrations of sugar and butter. So our heads are spinning with blinking lights, Jesus stories, egg nog, annoying, ill-composed Christmas songs, ten foot inflatable snowmen sculptures, nutcrackers, pine.
But maybe in the mix of all this, we may just be lucky enough to experience a tiny fleck of magic. . .. a dose of that special, special. a whisper of divine love. This is all that I can hope for you. A single breath of peace.
night walks
gold and green
banners strung
bells, snowflakes, star bursts
sticky and stacking
white so white
playing in the markets
open sky
richer
stop. come into focus
Return to the core
Happy Happy Happy
living blinking lights
fleck of magic
whisper of divine love
breath of peace
Merry Christmas and watch out for those reindeer with lights for noses