17th December 2007
5 o’clock in the afternoon, Lupen Crook has just finished sound checking and we’re ushered on stage for ours. We’re just nervously finding our way through "Other Boys" when the fire alarm explodes. A burly bloke who might be the manager storms towards the back stage area. There is some sort of altercation and various members of Lupen’s band; the Murderbirds tumble out of the back stage area arguing with the manager. All this time the alarm continues to ring as Sam and I are stood on the stage waiting.
The manager threatens to ban Lupen and his Murderbirds from the venue. Of course I jump to the conclusion that they were probably smoking crack as they look like a pretty decadent bunch. Or at least something similiarly illegal to upset the manager so much.
"We’ve had no problem at any other venue on the tour" screams a murderbird in the managers face.
I wonder if we’re ever going to get to play at all, let only sound check.
The manger screams something about getting it all off the premises. The Murderbirds head back into the back stage area. I crook my neck, curious to see what evilness they’ll return with. They walk out, reluctantly carrying a small gas stove cooker and some half cooked burgers.
We finally get a sound check and then play our set. There are a fair few people there by then, which is frankly a bit off putting. We’re more used to playing to an empty room or to people who have the decency to talk through our set and not to draw attention to us by staring at us like these folks do. How can we be expected to perform at our best under these conditions?
Nevertheless I think they like us and we spend the rest of the night drinking too much and enjoying the the other bands set.
Lupen Crook and his Murderbirds pull off an impressive performance.
Everyone thinks Carina Round is amazing, expect for my girlfriend who rolls her eyes throughout and mutters to herself in French.
Once outside we’re accosted by various Murderbirds. One of them takes one look at my "Steve Malkmus" badge and screams "I’m going to do you a favour". He rips it off my jacket and throws it across the road. He explains in great detail why exactly this is favour and not an annoyance, claiming that Pavement were one of the best bands in the world, he goes on to make an almost convincing case for Malkmus being some kind of evil mad man by breaking them up.
As we wait patiently in the cold for our cab to arrive another Murderbird staggers into view and asks if one of us will write on his penis, we politely decline. He finally persuades one of his band mates to write "Water Rats sucks" on it for him. He then strolls triumphantly into the venue to show it to the manager. Apparently it isn’t legible and after a few attempts the murderbird has to explain to the manager what it says before staggering back outside proudly.
Our cab arrives, we load our gear and head for home. As we drive away I watch while various Murderbirds climb on top of their van screaming into the night.
The suspicion that perhaps we’ll never be a true rock n’ roll band slowly dawns on me.