Just a quick post entry...I've started work on a new metal music blog, yes.  As mentioned, it's reviews of albums I own or have listened to.  So far I've reviewed Venom's Black Metal and Motley Crue's Too Fast For Love and they appear pretty well reviewed...of course that's me speaking.  I started it on Blogger to keep it seperate from my main blog here and easier for you to find entries since Blogger is strickly blog based and not a blog tacked on (like here) so if you're looking for something, it'll be easier the find.

Anyway, check it out there'll be new reviews sometime next week.

Hail and Fucking Kill Reviews

I don't consider myself that much of a social person...if I was one I wouldn't be bothered by other's simple annoyances.  The reason I bring this is up is a prior situation earlier this week.

Oh yeah, I was there...

Of course you were...so, I was on the bus on my way to work (in the morning) listening to my MP3 player.  Now, when you're listening to a MP3 player usually you're minding your own business and not bothering anyone, I mean only a dick would bother someone and listen to their MP3 player at the same time.  A mildly talented dick, but still a dick.  Anyway, I was minding my own business when today's annoyance was this guy probably in his late teens--most likely 20-something who sat behind me.  He had a CD player and was listening to his stuff--minding his own business when his earphones stop working.

That's bad for him.

Of course, it's an unexpected annoyance when your earphones stop working, just as annoying when the energy runs low on your MP3 player or the batteries give out on your CD play, just...bothersome, really.  Anyway, he taps me on my shoulder and asks if I had any extras...I said "No."  Usually I'd rummage through my back satchel and check, but seriously I could careless if this guy needed earphones today, just...didn't give a shit really.  Soooo I resume listening to my tunes when he asks "Could I use yours?"

Hm.

Yeah.  I answered, "I'm using them." Which was stating the obvious and he started the whole "I just wanna use them for a moment."  Not wanting to be bothered any further I told him "Three minutes." and gave them to him.  Once three minutes were up (I played a song on my player to clock it cos seriously, I wanted to listen to The Sentinel again) I told him to hand them over.  Of course he said, "Just one moment, just one moment!" Then I said, "Now." he continued listening and kept saying one moment.  I'm thinking he's listening Freebird or At War With Satan or some other long song well over five fucking minutes.  Highly annoyed I reared back and punched his ass in the nose.

...no you didn't.

Tch.  I know, I really wanted to though.  Instead I said, "Give me my damn phones...now." Reluctantly, he gave them to me and had some words.  He actually had something to say about me demanding my earphones back.  Can you believe this shit?!

I believe it.

By this time, he were turning the corner at some TV repair shop in North Birmingham.  I scowled and told him he was fucking welcoming for using my earphones.  He continued on with how he was going to kick my ass and snatch my earphones and MP3 player.  Highly unfuckinglikely...I'd fucking...cave his nuts in just for this slight.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not a violent person by any means...just easily annoyed by trivial nonsense that can be easily avoided.

Understandable.

To end the story, he got off before my stop at KFC (I had to stop at Carraway Hospital), he was still mumbling when I told him to have a "blessed day"...granted I didn't mean it and was actually hoping for his batteries to die and his CD player to fall apart.  I'm quite sure he didn't hear it because he had his nonfunctional earphones on and shit.  Looking back on that day, it was stupid of me to address him anyway...it was equally stupid for me to give him my 'phones.

Brothers and sisters, the moral of this story is two-fold. Some people are easily annoyed.  Gauge their reactions with low annoyance questions to see how easily annoyed they are.  Also, some people are better ignored.  Thursday's dick was one of them.  I could've easily taken my shit and just resumed listening to my music, but instead I prompted to return the favour and piss with him...

All that could've been avoided...and I could've skipped a suck ass story.

Shut up.  Anyway, just think about it.  We all have daily dicks and annoying assholes each week, by taking the time to look over the situation, you'll probably end up saving a headache and not decking someone. 

Have a great weekend everyone.

I've been meaning to do a new blog for sometime since it's been well over a month since the last entry.  So, what's happened so far?  Legend of S'z vol. 2: Skullfucker was released last month--think I stated that already.  I've been working on vol. 3: Acid Queen: In League With Lilith and it's almost done.  I'm on story six which will end that volume.  Next will be in the saga will be called Amon Drillfuck (the new title instead of Legend of S'z) and the subtitle of Drillfucked--think of it as an band and album title.  While I won't give spoilers on vol. 3 I will say that the new title has something to do with an event in vol. 3.  I'm looking into a way to get the comic out to those who want a copy.  Once I figure that out, I'll be sure to tell everyone.  I would scan the damn thing, but oddly enough the drivers on the scanner are outdated compared to the new computer.  So...yeah.

In other news, work has been going mehingly...I'm getting worn down with it and pay is drying up so I could be seeking employment elsewhere.  Aside from that, I've been listening to alot of black metal (Darkthrone is sooooo growing on me) and I'm looking forward to the new Venom album Hell coming out soon...as a matter of fact, next month.  Fuck yeah!  Oh and the free PC version of Guitar Hero--Frets on Fire has been owning my free time as well!  You like to rock?  You should check that out...like Google it or something, cos as I said, it's free and unlike Guitar Hero, you have a choice in what songs you want to play as you can download them from the Frets on Fire community.

So that's it... April 2008 in a nutshell.  It's been pretty fucking uneventful...at least tomorrow is Freyja's Day so I can't really complain, yeah?  Anyway, everyone have a great day and a great weekend.

Well my fucking tooth hurts...it’s like the whole side is just--fucked.  Throbbing.  It does that when it’s either cold outside (which it wasn’t), when it’s cold and I put something warm on that area (which I haven’t), or when I’ve eaten alot of candy (which I did).  There was a thing of jelly beans at work yesterday and like Ronald Reagan I couldn’t resist them.

"Oh, why thank you.  I love jelly beans."

Yeah, I ate those motherfuckers up.  Then I ate some butterscotch...alot of those...some soft peppermints...an Airhead.  If I had eaten them on the side I had my tooth removed on, this wouldn’t have happened--but I was eating on the bad side so yeah, I deserved it.

"Heheh...dumbass."

Hrm.  Anyway, working on three journals at the moment and plotting a fourth.  All three are on SSS too.  The fourth--I dunno what it will be.  It’s gonna be surprise, let’s say that.  Anyway, back to moping and nursing the tooth.  It should stop before the evening since it’s not as bad as it was before.

Seriously considering starting a webcomic of some sort.  I was supposed to be doing one then I just got lazy and was like "Fuck it."  However, since a few people like my MS Paint abilities, I’ll have a bang at it.  Might put one up every week and see how it goes.  I should get started on it now, but I have a serious case of the bubbleguts and I just can’t be bothered.

...supposed to be teaching class right now as well, but no student has entered.  Hrm.  Lately, I’ve been have a whack at black metal and blackened metal genres.  I like what I’ve heard from the three bands I tried out and I may get more.  Here’s the black metal albums I’ve been listening to:

Bathory - Under the Sign of the Black Mark
Bathory - Blood Fire Death
Immortal - Diabolical Fullmoon Mysticism
Immortal - Pure Holocaust
Dragonlord - Rapture
Dragonlord - Black Wings of Destiny

Dragonlord and Immortal have proven extremely good listening, but I have to get into Bathory a bit more.  I loved the song Blood on Ice, so I’ll be sure to give Bathory another go.  Gorgoroth is another I may try listening to...Unchain My Heart is a good song...very good song actually.

Oh well, I believe there’s a student here so everyone enjoy your weekend and make it to next week safely.

On a warm summer evening in a meadow outside of the river village of Drowning Swan, a warrior and his companion, a young cleric are hiding in the deep brush.  Moments early, a small orc party invaded the peaceful village and Rotwar--our warrior--was injured attempting to defend them.  With an arrow in his shoulder, he managed to stagger out of the town while many were slaughtered.  His companion Aegis led him to a thick growth of bush where they are currently in hiding, hoping the orcs don't approach them.

"OK, sit still.  I'm gonna pull the arrow out."

"DON'T!  Just leave it, Aegis!"

"Don't be such a pussy, Rotwar.  The orc shot you in the should with a fucking arrow!  You can't leave it there!"

"I'm telling you, don't touch me.  Last time you healed me there was dwarf fungus growing on my junk for a month.  Leave me alone!"

"OK...fine.  You sit there with an arrow in your shoulder bleeding to death.  I don't care."

"Fine."

"..."

"..."

"Just let me break the arrow off and treat the wound."

"NO!"

"...see, now was that so hard?"

"No, it wasn't.  That wasn't hard at all."

"Yeah.  Now let me treat it."

"...OK."

"..."

"ARGH!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!!"

"Dragon piss.  What, does it burn?"

"Chyeah it burns.  Holy shit...my skin's turning purple!"

"Hrm...I don't think you're supposed to just douse it on an open wound.  Hey, when you're an apprentice cleric, you learn by trial and error, huh?"

"What? 'Apprentice'?  You said you were a professional when we left Lillefoot!"

"Yeah who's going to hire an apprentice cleric to aid them on a quest?  Ha, I know I wouldn't."

"I fucking hate you, Aegis."

"Aw, you don't mean that Rotwar.  Now let me put the bandage on."

"THEY'RE AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE!!!"

"Oh no...orcs."

"You sounded a little too calm, Aegis."

"Yeah, I accidentally stuck myself with a hazebranch and I feeling freezy breezy, ya know."

"...if we die here, I hope I don't see you in the next life, Aegis."

"Aw, Rotwar...you're my bestest friend...in the world."

"Grr..."

"Rotwar...Rotwar."

"What is it, Aegis?"

"Rotwar."

"What?"

"...you're my friend?"

"No."

"Til the end?"

"No."

"Til I die?"

"No!"

"Stick a needle in your eye?"

"I want to disembowel myself here...fucking idiot."

"Ssh...ssh...sssssshhhhah!"

"...what?"

"The orcs are getting near...whissssssper."

"That's what I'm doing, asshole."

"If you don't whissssssper, they'll hear us."

"...I know that, Aegis."

"...ssssssh.  I think they're there."

"SPREAD OUT AND SEARCH, MEN!!!"

"Shit, this is it.  I'm gonna die with this dumbass of a healer."

"Hey...hey...hey...don't call me a 'dumbassssss'.  I'm...I'm a sssssmart elf.  I've got creditialsssssss."

"...hrm."

"You...you...y-you just wissssssh you had thesssssse creditialssssss."

"...oh god I hate you, Aegis.  I hope they kill you first."

"...I love you too, Rotwar."

"Grrr..."

Will Rotwar and Aegis make it out in time?  Or will the orcs capture and kill them?  Look out for the next installment of A Warrior and A Cleric!

A friend of mine, LARMORE recently put up his Pet Peeves...which you should check out.  I figured, "What the hell, I have pet peeves too."  So, here are my main pet peeves--things that make me want to pummel and juggle someone, stab myself in the eardrum with rusty scissors, or run right into on-coming traffic.  Id' say the first five are in order of most annoying.

I'll Call You Back:  Number fucking one.  Really, if you have no plans on calling back then don't say "I'll call you back".  If you say "I'll try and get back to you" or "I might" or even "Talk to you later" then fine, whatever...I actually prefer "Talk to you later".  No problem.  "I'll call you back" means "I'll call you back in the next hour-hour and a half--within the next three hours at the most" not next week, not next month, and sure as hell not at midnight.  Sure, I could answer the phone at midnight--I'm watching Ghost in the Shell and SC at that time--but other people are sleep in the house.  Besides, I have a policy not to call before 9AM and after 10PM and surely not around 7PM-8PM (supper time) as I think it's rude...which it is.  You wouldn't believe when people call and want to talk while you're trying to eat dinner...the best meal of the day.  Call at breakfast, sure no problem.  Lunch?  OK let's chat.  Dinner...hell fuck no.  You know, that's going on the list as well.  Plus if you're just forgetful then don't say "I'll call you back."  I don't buy the "It slipped my mind" bullshit.  It especially annoys me when someone says "I'll call you back" and I fucking know they're not.  My eye jumps and I start grinding my teeth.

Some people are extremely busy.  I can understand that, I'm somewhat busy...however, I still call someone back as soon as I get the time.  If I don't say "I'll call you back" then hell, can't particularly hold it against me right?  Exactly.  It sucks worse when you take the time out to call someone and they tell you they'll call you back.  BULLSHIT.  Very rarely does someone call you back in essence they're saying "Call back later".  As a matter of fact, they should say "Call back later" maybe I'll be less pissed.  Maybe you won't be 9 on the douchebag meter that goes to 10...hell, you could be just a 5 or 6 just by giving an answer that I know isn't shit.  So, to reiterate, my biggest pet peeve is people not calling back when they say they will or calling back within the three hour period. 

...hell, why the fuck should I have to call you back when  you said you'd call back.  Ass.

Cigarette Smoke:  I don't particularly care if someone smokes or not, that's their business/pleasure...just don't do it around me.  I hate the smell of fresh/stale tobacco smoke as it makes my head hurt and puts me in a very irritable mood.

...if I wanted to wreak of cigarette smoke, I eat a carton of cigs, shit them out and lock the bathroom door, bathing in crude vapors.

Dripping: Faucets, saline drips, rain off a gutter...whatever.  It's both seeing the drip and hearing the "plunk-plunk-plunk" that annoys me.  Even at work or in other people's houses, I have the urge to turn the water off or empty it.  It's just that damn annoying.

...oh god, that's annoying.

The Sound of Styrofoam Squeaking: Ugh!  Shit...next, next one.

People Sitting Next Me (While I'm Eating and They're Not):  I would prefer that someone have something to eat while I'm eating cos it just seems as though they're waiting for me to share.  If you ask, I'd say it's 50-50 I'll give you some.  If you're waiting around for me to offer you some, it's like a 10% chance...so get something to eat.  In this it includes asking me what I'm eating and discussing how you used to love to eat it or why you can't eat this.  I don't particularly care and you're wasting your breath by talking while I'm eating. 

...seriously, it'd be like talking to a brickwall while I'm eating.  It's like, go somewhere, nuisance.

Calling During Supper:  Seriously, this is something telemarketers do--not reasonable human beings with common sense.  No one likes to be interrupted during dinner.  Some people are tolerant and to you I say you are a fucking trooper.  Truly, you have the potential to be a fair and just ruler.  I on the other hand am not so tolerate.  What would possess someone to call during the standard dinner time of 7PM-8PM.  If you don't know then fine, I'll tell you and call you back in 30 once I'm done--but if you attempt to hold a conversation while I'm chewing and would rather not have to stop chewing, speed swallow my food just to answer you, then you made the douche bag list at a level 8.5-9.  You hang up, then I'm the one who has to call back, you don't make the douche bag list.

...besides, there's something called etiquette and you're being rude.

Oogling: I stare at people if they're grody...my sister once said it's like looking at something ugly.  You don't want to look at it, but you can't stop.  Guys who glance at women or sneakily look at them, no problem  I do it.  If you're obviously looking at a woman--meaning completely turning around in your chair or turning your neck to ridicious degrees to look at this chick then you're oogling.  Now it shouldn't bother me, I'm not the one being oogled, however I'm quite sure the chick who catches a guy oogling them is highly annoyed...sometimes they might not be.  The thing remains, dogs look and oogle when food is coming.  Leave the oogling to dogs and cats and use some fucking restraint.

...yeah, get some fucking couth.

Asking Questions (Without Reading the Directions): I hate reading directions...it's a bother.  Honestly, can't be buggered to do it 40% of the time.  In that case I just deal with whatever it is meaning I've accepted that by not reading the directions to something I am in no position to ask questions and bother someone else.  If I (or someone else) ask questions while reading the directions then fine, maybe I (or someone else) don't understand the directions.  Maybe the directions are written shittily, in which case that's a pass. 

If you walk up without looking at something clearly or reading the directions and ask me a question, you just made another list...the dumbass list.  I'd say you'd be at number 9...cos I really hate answering simple questions where you could've read the directions or looked at the entire thing to find something.  If you have poor eye sight there is a very, very slim chance at exemption of being added to the dumbass list.  Overall, asking questions without reading the questions--it's like the wheel is turning, but the hamster is fucking dead.

...the moral here, kids is to READ.  Sure reading sucks sometimes, but it could save you from a near 300-pound black man caving your nuts in for bothering him.

Bitching and Moaning:  Minor Threat's Sob Story really reminded me of how much I hate to hear someone else's problems.  Let me clear that, I hate hearing someone who complains all the time's problems.  If you have a problem, OK, let me hear it.  Sometimes it really helps to tell someone even if they prove little to no advice.  Just having someone who is either indifferent or won't judge listen to your problem--it can be a good feeling I bet.  However, you have that group of people who piss and moan, bitch and groan about the same problem or they always have a new problem and really, it gets old and it gets annoying.  It's like no one's as miserable as this whiny twat, you know?  If like they roll of out of their miserable and hard bed, take a lukewarm, brown water miserable shower, eat a shitty misery and torment egg sandwhich and go into the world to complain about their morning or their life.  Seriously, I don't care to hear it.

Simple problem, relationship problem, a new problem from someone who is usually either doing fine or on the up and up?  OK.  You rarely have issues, but if you're constantly "This has been a horrible day." or "Last night was awful...just dreadful."  Then save it.  Bottle it up and go bother someone else.

...and quit bitching all the time.  Chicks hate whiners.

There's plenty more, but I'm running low on computer time here at the library.  I'll put some more up in a bit.

Venom's 1981 Release: Welcome To Hell

Released: January 1981
Label: Neat
Line-Up: Cronos (vox, bass), Mantas (guitar), Abaddon (drums)
Album Time: 39mins 45secs

Venom is a NWOBHM (New Wave of British Heavy Metal) band that formed in the late 1970s and played speed metal (and later thrash).  At the same time, they also helped pioneer both black metal and thrash metal...actually, some NWOBHM bands (Iron Maiden, Diamond Head, etc) helped pioneer thrash.  Personally, I usually see NWOBHM as a movement in metal and not a specific style since most bands from this period (late 1970s to early 1980s) played either heavy metal or speed metal.  Also that influence of punk music is pretty noticable in NWOBHM as it was in earlier thrash.

Anyway, enough with the history/genre lesson.  Let's get down to the album at hand. Welcome to Hell is Venom's first release--right before their landmark, legendary status making 1982 release Black Metal.  You could say it's biased since Venom is my favourite metal band overall, but the album is great from one end of the Hall of Hell to the other.  Let's take a look at the tracks, shall we?

Sons of Satan is our first song and starts WtH off very nicely.  Fast paced, and infused with hellfire and poison!  I really enjoyed this one as--with all tracks on here, Cronos' vocals are just fucking amazing.  He's no Halford, King, or Adams but he gets the job done with his pipes as they are more than appropiate for the song.  It gets 8.75

Welcome to Hell the title track on is pretty good.  It's no Sons of Satan, but it doesn't suck at all.  Good job by all on this one...but I can't say it was a favourite, still it's a memorable track.  7.5

Schizo is solid, not a particularly memorable track as I listened to it twice and moved on.  It didn't suck, but it didn't actually stand out at all. 6.75

Mayhem With Mercy...eh, I don't really review instrumentals, but it's here so I might as well.  Not bad at all.  Very good by Mantas and Abaddon...that's all. 8.0

Poison is about a promiscous woman--at least I gather she was promiscous--who can perform sexual feats great enough for Cronos and gang (all two of them) to write a song about...you know, let's assume this is a prostitute we're talking about here.  That'll make the review go easier.  Like Teacher's Pet from Black Metal...only the teacher in Teacher's Pet was obviously hot whereas this could be a ugly pro that's good at what she do...in anycase, it's a kinda catchy song that will stick in your head after awhile.  That's not a bad thing in this case 8.0

Live Like An Angel (Die Like A Devil) is one of my favourites off this album!  Cronos once again hits one out of the park with this one.  On first impression--if you're not familar with Venom that is--you might be like "...ehhhh", but this is actually a very good tune.  9.0

Witching Hour pretty much a critically close second for best song on this tome.  Everyone are at their best on this spell and that's the damn truth.  It's a song about a virgin sacrifice...which is always a favourite subject of mine.  Sacrifices that is...for some reason using a virgin gets maximum results, but honestly you could use just about anything.  In anycase, it's kind of the direct relative of S.A.C.R.I.F.I.C.E--which was an unholy BADASS SONG.  Witching Hour passed on it's genes in violently Satanic thrusts.  9.5

One Thousand Days In Sodom...what do we have here?  Another good song in a row?  That's three up, motherfuckers!  One Thousand Days...is basically as the name says, or as the first verses tell us:

"Unholy city a sinners delight
No-one was spared out of mind, out of sight"

So yeah, it's basically about Sodom...you could liken this to To Hell and Back...only slightly better.  I was mixed on To Hell and Back, but One Thousand Days... does come off better in all honesty.  8.75

Angel Dust is eh...it's a decent song kinda thrown in there.  The name is explains itself.  Acid Queen was better though...much better. 7.0

In League With Satan...HOLY SHIT!!!  Honestly, the album should've been called In League With Satan!  Hands down, best song on the album.  It's the tribal fucking drums through out that take this fucker over the top.  The reverse speaking opening really lights the fire under this keg of sulfur and it comes off like...a rallying call for Legions.  Cronos' wicked, torturous voice mixed in well with the drums and that damn evil axe ripping it's way through the song.  You'd never guess what it gets...10.

Then there's Red Light Fever, another sleazy track about a prostitute...or hook--probably the same one from track five--and how skilled she is.  I liked this one alot, but it's a weird way to end an album with this much badassery in it.  Then again, this is Venom's first album...each one after that just audio fucks you relentlessly with songs placed in proper order.  What?  You don't like audio fucks?  ...well...too bad, that's what Venom is in the business of doing.  8.5.

TOTAL:  8.34

VERDICT: I'd say the first three Venom albums are MUST HAVES.  Do you need the first Venom album?  Eh...not really.  Black Metal?  HELL YES.  At War With Satan?  Hell fuck yeah.  I'd suggest picking this one up after you've heard the second and third just to see where Venom started.  Although the first three don't have much different amongst them--well, maybe At War With Satan, the title song is pretty badass--it'd still be a nice addition for the NWOBHM fan.

-I stand 5'10 and weight 225lbs.
-I reside on one of the US Minor Outlaying Islands.
-I posses the ability to travel through time and space.
-I can play three guitars at the same time.
-I can also play guitar while playing the drums.
-I can do both backup and lead vocals at the same time.
-I don't suck.
-I've wrestled three 10 star matches.
-I've wrestled one 13 star match.
-I've wrestled 200,531 5 star matches.
-I am worth QUADRILLIONS!
-My lowest rated match was 4 stars.
-I've headlined every pay-per-view since 1985.
-I get paid not only in dollars, but ownership of planets.
-My first name starts with an R.
-My finishing move would cause your face to melt, brain to explode, eyes to pop, and leave you feeling you've accomplished nothing in this life.
-My genetic parents are two of the greatest wrestlers in their weight class...ever.
-I am genetically engineered and my parents still wrestle today.
-I am the reason for WWE's resurgance in the mid-late 90s and for WCW kicking their asses in the early 90s.
-My middle name starts with an F.
-I have NEVER b-bo--see, I can't even say the word...I am flawless in execution.
-My bridges are perfect and can't be kicked on or kicked out of.
-I allow opponents to get a 5 count to kick out instead of a 3.
-I lock in my submissions close to the ropes to give my opponent hope.
-Instead of typing "lol" I type "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!"
-I could shotei your ass right out of your seat right now.
-I graduated from Oxford in the late 70s with a masters in law and music.
-I can speak Spanish, Japanese, Mandrin Chinese, German, Italian, Danish, French, Swahili, and Punjabi fluently.
-I am still learning English though.
-My last name starts with an F.
-I will rock you like a fucking hurricane.
-I was NWA World Champion, WCW World Champion, WWE World Champion, WWF World Champion, WWWF World Champion, ECW World Champion, IWGP Heavyweight Champion, and Triple Crown Champion.
-All my title reigns have lasted longer than 10 years and I have held World Titles while in rival promotions.
-I taught Matt Hardy how to wrestle.
-I once destroyed a dragon with a Boston Crab.
-I can shoot fire from my palms.
-I have laser eyes.
-I have NEVER been injured and I have NEVER injured a wrestler.
-...well I did injure that one guy.  However, that was on purpose...because he was an ass.
-I own my own island that has a population of 100.
-That's 99 females and 1 male (me)...my harem is made of women from around the world.
-...and three women from Saturn.
-I have my own television show...
-But it comes on during the 25th hour, so no one here on Earth can view it.
-I am the only person who can perform a Figure 8 Leglock.
-My Brainbuster can shatter stone.
-My Shotei (palm strike) can melt steel.
-My German Suplex causes 120 MPH winds.

...who am I?

RISHIN FUCKING FLIGER IS THE NAME AND MAKING YOUR WRESTLING ABILITY LOOK SUCK IS MY GAME!!!

I could've put this under Arts and Photography, but I never really considered myself an artist when comes to comics.  Maybe an entertainer since I'm moderately skilled and others have told me I've got creativity and nonsense to burn.  So anyway, this is about my recent comic work since April--two months away--will be my 14th year doing comics.

History of The Legend of S'z
Originally this was called Graphic Violence was was supposed be done in a mock format of a music album.  I even called it a CD (comic digest) I'd put the "song time" at the bottom after a "song" (story) is completed and on the back a track listing.  The main characters in the comic would be the band members of a thrash/death metal band called Graphic Violence.  These characters included myself (as Jimmy Swift), Charlotte Warlust (named after a friend of mine who wrote the first four parts of 2004's Vixen before I fucked it up), and Axel Borden. 

When February came around and I was looking through manga at the library (ended up getting the super bad ass TRASH and +Anima series) I decided a mini-graphic novel would do.  Once I finished the sequel to Graphic Violence: Necrophilia--which would've been called King Swift: Skullfucker (cause Swift went solo and ditched Graphic Violence)--I decided to make it into a regular series and changed the cover of Necrophilia to Necro Fucker and the name to Legend of S'z.

Legend of S'z vol. 1: Necro Fucker (backstory) October 2007, 36 pages (18 back and front) Action, Comedy - Mild Violence, Mild Sexual Content, Brief Nudity, Graphic Language, Occult Themes

Jimmy Swift is an immortal vampire hunter who killed his wife (who was a swan maiden) two years earlier for her immortality and powers.  He befriends neighbor Charlotte Warlust who may or may not be a vampire.  The two end up living together in an apartment in Central City.  On the night of October 30, 2007, zombies rise and begin taking the dicks of men without any actual reason.  Charlotte suggests they investigate which leads to them going to a known graveyard in search of the source.

Along the way, Jimmy and Charlotte meets Jimmy's brother-in-law, Axel Borden who wants him dead.  While the two of them are bickering, Charlotte is kidnapped...but by who.  The source and kidnapper ends up being someone known as The Necro Fucker who is gunning for revenge on people who made fun of his micropenis.  He has the ability to raise the dead and has been using the zombies to do his bidding.  He has also raised the hell demon Zombie Pussy to kill the powerful Jimmy Swift.  Axel and Jimmy team up to defeat Zombie Pussy with Jimmy blowing it up with a grenade after using Axel as bait.

The showdown between Jimmy and Necro Fucker ends with Jimmy busting NF in the face with a brick and ripping off his face.  After killing Axel--who tried to kill him--Jimmy is killed by a mysterious foe.  NF attempts to bitchify Jimmy's corpse, but is killed--probably by the same foe.  Charlotte, having freed herself shows up in time to see that Jimmy, Axel, and NF were killed--but their corpses are missing!  Who could've taken them...and why?

The Legend of S'z vol. 2: Skullfucker (backstory) February 2008, 32 pages (16) Action, Comedy - Adult Language, Blasphemous Themes, Mild Sexual Content

Vol. 2 takes place the day after Vol. 1 on November 1.  Jimmy and Axel are at a bus stop in the Hereafter called the Abyss.  Before them is a menancing swirling pool that neither knows what it does.  They are met by two beings, first an angel that tells Axel he has been granted entrance into Heaven.  Annoyed by Axel's overjoy over going to Heaven, Jimmy kicks the angel into the pool, killing it.  A mighty demon appears next, it's the Satan himself and he says that Jimmy is heading to Hell.  However, since he did kill the messenger and he has guts, he promotes him into his Army...which Jimmy could careless about.  Axel asks what is to happen to him and the Satan suggests he become his bitch.  Axel asks for Jimmy's help, but Jim declines.  The two travel to Hell.

Once in Hell, Jimmy is joined by a bald guy--whom Jimmy refers to as Baldie.  He is talking about STDs, the Devil notices that Axel is missing and orders Jimmy and Baldie to find him.  Jimmy threatens to kick Satan's balls in, but Baldie offers their services.  Meanwhile, Axel is hiding in an alley from Satan when he is encountered by a half-man/half-woman named the Skullfucker.  This person--extremely powerful--tells Axel that he killed Jimmy, NF, and him and that he has come to take up his skull...for the pushing.

After avoiding a Hex Arm blast (a Hex Arm is Hell given powers, usually given to someone who is a high officer in Satan's Army, it allows you to form weapons out of your soul.  Jimmy was able to use one since he was mostly evil and had the ability to manipulate his soul after killing Lisa Borden), Axel looks to be done for when Jimmy dives out of nowhere, headstomping Skullfucker!  Axel thinks that Jimmy and Baldie have come to save him, but Jimmy tells him they've come to take him back to Satan.  Skullfucker tells Jimmy he'd been waiting to take his skull after Jimmy beheaded him and took up a bounty a year earlier.  Jimmy tells Baldie to take the weaken Axel back to Satan and faces off against Skullfucker.  Meanwhile, Charlotte--who can transverse between Hell and Earth--is giving Satan a bj when a messenger tells the Devil that Baldie has returned with Axel.  Charlotte asks for rest which Satan reluctantly agrees to and heads off in search of Jimmy.

So, the fight never happens.  Jimmy spends most of the time trying to catch Skullfucker who was tricked, thinking Jimmy couldn't use his powers in Hell only to find out his powers are multiplied!  Satan steps in and saves Skullfucker, annoying Jimmy who insults him and his shortened arm. Jimmy vows to kill Skullfucker eventually and leaves against Satan's orders.  Charlotte (who can transverse between Heaven and Hell) meets back up with Jimmy and our hero asks who is in direct opposition of Satan at the moment.  Charlotte replies Queen Lilith, whom she is supposed to serve, but is in services of both Jimmy and Satan.  Jimmy demands to be taken to Lilith, but Charlotte advises against it saying that Jimmy is tired and the trip will take 10 days.  Jimmy agrees to rest for three days then they head off past the Trifecta Gate to Lilith's palace...for what, no one knows.

At the end of the comic, Axel is shown chained up in Satan's dungeon, left to the evil king by Jimmy.  He vows to kill Jimmy as soon as he is freed.
~~~

Whew...anyway, both comics took MUCH longer than they should've considering I didn't colour them, do actual lettering, didn't actually shade them, and I draw using a ballpoint pin (used the same one for both).  They shouldn't really have taken so long since I came up with the story as I went on...and it was very non-story, cos the comic moves at the speed of light...and the art starts out pretty good-then kinda bad-then decent.  The first one was better than the second one and if you've seen my work from 1998-2006 then looked at these two, you'll notice alot less sex, nudity, and violence and that there is actually more story than I usually do--but that the same style I've been using since 2002 (when I started with pen): mostly face close ups and dialogue--is the same.

In any case, I'm currently working on vol. 3 which will be entitled Acid Queen: In League With Lilith.  Yes, the title came from a Venom song (one of my favourite Venom songs) and even though I'm not doing the comic for profit, they will be credited...cos  they're a kickass band.  So far, the first page is OK, the backpage (2) is better, but the cover owns all.  I'll post the cover up sometime this week, it has a close-up of a half-nude Lilith chained up and dripping blood from her mouth and all over.  I'm quite proud of my sleazy brand of shotai (shonen hentai).   Anyway, thanks for reading and look out for the cover (black and white) most likely by Saturday.