[Julie] my roomates smoke tabacco pipes! i encourage it because it smells nicer than cigarettes
[Julie] they think they are so classy
[jrph] mmm pipe tobacco
[jrph] i should just keep a jar of it here in my office
[Julie] it is not classy when they sit in the stairwell
[jrph] the only time a pipe is classy is if you are sitting in one of those big ol' chairs reading a book
[fruitkat] hehehe
[jrph] and you are british
[jrph] and old
[Toba] with your tophat on your knee
[Toba] and your cane against the arm of the chair
[jrph] and a hunting dog at your feet
[Toba] and a grand fire crackling in the hearth
[jrph] shotgun over the fire
[fruitkat] some sort of dead animal hanging on the wall?
[jrph] glass of port on the small table to your left
[Toba] fruitkat: no, just the head of a dead animal
[fruitkat] and as a rug
[Toba] oh yes
[jrph] servants quietly going about their business, taking care not to disturb you
[fruitkat] thats what i mean. PFFT
[Toba] a bear rug
[jrph] one of your grandchildren runs in and demands to hear the story of your time in India
[Toba] and you look at him severely
[jrph] but then you tell him the story
[jrph] he passes out on the rug halfway through
[Toba] oh yes.
[jrph] and you KICK HIM INTO THE ROARING FIRE
[jrph] cackling madly
[Toba] and then you go through the turning bookshelf
[Toba] and into your gleaming white lab
[Toba] full of mysterious instruments
[jrph] still smoking your pipe, of course
[Toba] of course.
[jrph] but now it is ALCHEMY TYME
[Toba] a proper gentleman never stops smoking his pipe
[Toba] even while asleep
[Toba] okay, maybe not gleaming and white
[jrph] your search for the philosopher's stone will be aided by the sweet smell of pipe tobacco
[Toba] lit by torches.
[jrph] jars full of bizarre deep-sea fish along the wall
[Toba] sealed jars.
[jrph] your deformed assistant helps you put on your lab coat
[Toba] with light glowing from behind them, softly
[jrph] "thank you, Ivan" you say
[Toba] no no, he's not ivan
[Toba] he's james
[Toba] this is BRITANIA.
[jrph] he is delighted that you deign to refer to him by name
[jrph] no no, you rescured Ivan from the Cossacks
[Toba] you brush aside his complements
[jrph] james was your OLD deformed assistant, but he got mouthy with you one day so INTO THE ROARING FIRE with him
[Toba] you call for the servants to bring you another bottle of port
[Toba] oh right, forgot about that bit
[jrph] Amelie, your favorite housemaid, traipses in with a bottle balanced on a silver tray
[jrph] "'allo Ivan!" she squeaks. Ivan blushes and takes a few steps backwards
[jrph] you are aware of their flirtations, as you are aware of all inter-mansion servant politics, and you smile inwardly
[Toba] you ask amelie to leave the port on the mantlepiece and withdraw
[Toba] (even labs had mantlepieces in those days)
[jrph] she'll break ivan's heart, one day, but for now it is a harmless thing

I'm going back to the mothership that is New York in 2 weeks. I'm in the process of documenting Tennessee; it's oddities, inhabitants, and otherwise interesting happenings, to share with my fellow New Yorkas. Soooo, if I randomly whip out a camera, don't be frightened. I'm planning on doing the same thing in NY during my trip. I'm in desperate need of more pictures of my friends and hopefully this will result in more recent shots of me as well to share with all you weirdos.

So far who did you talk to the most today? Mickey, damn it Mickey

What is the best name fore a butler? Bobs

What is the thing you are picked on most about? The way I walk

What was your last weird encounter? Being hit on while working as a bill collector

Whats the weirdest story of one of your scars? I scared my dog while she was sleeping and she tried to eat my face (scar next to my eyebrow)

Do you remember the part from Bambi when Bambi learns to say bear? I remember the butterfly part

What color is your toothbrush? Orange

What is your middle name spelled backwards? esiuoL

Can you eat well with chopsticks? Not even a little

What odd things creep you out? Ladybugs, nail files, girls who look like barbies, things that bite

Have you ever felt an earthquake? A little one

What do you do with the hot grease when youre done cooking bacon? Sometimes put it on my dogs food

How many good friends do you have? ummm 5

Whats the weirdest thing you have ever eaten? Elk

What color are your sock today? No socks, barefoot!

What is your favorite word that starts with the letter G? golly

Who do you blame for you mood today? Tie between Will & Mickey

What is something scientists need to invent? Transporters

What is the closest thing to your left foot? Photo album

Who is your favorite golden girl? Dorothy

Do you have an inside joke that has to do with numbers? Yep!

What is the longest amount of hours you have slept in a row? Like 13

What story do you tell the most? Moving down here

How do ugly people make you feel? Ummmm prettier 

Where was your mothers hometown? Batavia, NY

Where was your fathers hometown? Binghamton, NY

What are the posters on your walls? One with the different names of God, dogs playing poker, pen&ink drawings of fairies, and a few Ive made myself

Say two words that rhyme. Cat, bat

Do you use online terms in real life? Ironically maybe

What do you think people think of you? That Im odd, and probably too quiet

Do you think this year will be better than the last? Sure

Who is the first person on your incoming call list and how do you feel about them? Will. Ive got no beef with him

Do you know who Salad Fingers is? no

What is the stupidest thing you have ever done? I dunno

What is your favorite commercial of the moment? The Nextel one where the guys dance around in the office

What does it take to make you cry? Intense emotional pain

What are you looking forward to? My trip back to New York!

Have you ever cried because you thought you were ugly? No

Who did you kiss today? My dog

What do you like to do when you are alone? Dance, read, pout

What is missing from your life? Love

Would you be ashamed if you wore hippie clothes? I do wear hippie clothes

Grab the closest book, what doest the 7^th sentence on the 23^rd page say? The closet book to me is a phonebook so, James Coffman

When was the last time you slept with a stuffed animal? Whenever I was sick last

If it was your last day on earth what shoes would you wear? Ass kicking boots

Do you own a Super Nintendo? No

What do you think of Law & Order? Criminal Intent is my favorite one

Can you name all 7 dwarfs? Yes, of course

Who is the hottest drummer you know? Well I know a couple personally, so I dont want to insult anyone

Have you ever pretended to be Jewish? No, but sometimes I think I look Jewish

What was the last thing you thought you lost, but ended up finding? My work I.D

What were you doing at midnight last night? Trying on new clothes

If you had a ball of clay what would you mold it into? A tiny teacup

What does your milkshake bring to the yard? I think Im too white to answer this question..

Do you have any famous relatives? Im related to a supposed witch killed during the Salem Witch Trials

Choose one and be sweet!

Doug or Rugrats? Rugrats  

Chicken nuggets or Chicken fingers? Fingers

Pirates or Indians? Pirates

Pulp OJ or No Pulp OJ? No pulp, none! Nada!

Drive or Ride Passenger? Ride

Regular Hot Dogs or Cheesy Hot Dogs? Regular

Beach or Pool? Beach, as long as theres nice clean sand

Renting or Going to the theater? Renting, SNUGGLING!

Have you ever been cool enough to... 

Pushed all the buttons on an elevator? Of course

Bake with an easy bake oven? Hell no, Im a real baker

Gone to school when you didnt remember you had the day off? No, but I was once an hour early to the bus stop because of daylight savings time

Jungle Boogied? Sure

Ever owned a Spirograph? No, but Ive played with one 

 

What was the last TV show you watched? Crossing Jordan

Food you ate? Pecan ice cream

Thing you bought? Bras

Things someone bought you? Medical tape for my broken finger

Thing you laughed at? My scaredy-cat dog jumping at thunder

Person that spent the night at your house? Jennifer  

Thing that gave you chills? Purrs in my ear

Song you sang out loud? Burning Bright-Shinedown

You ate ice cream? Like 2 hrs ago

 

Name 5 songs you have been playing a lot

1. Say Goodbye-Dave Matthews Band

2. Workers Song-Dropkick Murphys

3. Poco Allegretto-Brahms

4. Why Not Me-Genuwine

5. the entire Avenue Q soundtrack

Is it bad if it feels like your brains are oozing out your eyes? That can't be good. My brains are falling out, my skull is breaking in half, I got about 2 hours of sleep last night. Yep, this is it, I'm dying. My flowers of choice for my funeral are calla lilies and irises.