Yeah, I know it is an crazy election year right now, I realize that in the background settings of my life. But it just seems like the choices are very few and far between anymore. So this means, all the more reason to stay in and draw comic stories for Radio Comix/Antarctic Press! (Hey, at least it is more worthwhile then that political drivel that plays out on your TV set every damn day! Whore-ray!)

I saw that Republican National Convention about a week or so ago. Dammit, if it didn't look like some weird cult to me on my HDTV, with the way they were ranting on and on on how they were going to win the election! Rudy Giuliani, Mitt Romney and all of those dorks were just being loud-mouths in high-definition clatter-trash. Some days, I cannot believe people really bought into this thing, this churning media machine. But they did, unfortunately because they could be imbecile followers who will possibly follow anything for a gimmick and a free t-shirt.

I was not impressed with John McCain at all during these weeks, shooting his mouth off like he was some new-aged Nazi in a football pep rally like the rest of those Republicans do. He said he hated war, but at the same time, he still wants the war to go on in Iraq after Bush gets out of office? I don't think he really cares about those soldiers who's limbs are being blown off by landmines, he just wants the wars to go on so America goes down the tubes even more. McCain's butt buddie is George Dubya, and I am pretty sure they hung out a lot together...in the bedroom of course.

And Sarah Palin does nothing for me either. She is just on the bill now because McCain's committee said he had to have a vice-president running mate at a certain date and time. Cause what the fuck? Who really gets a job in this day and age after 48 hours and a small interview of a few minutes....nobody in this crap economy I bet? She had to be a last-minute choice for more approval ratings. I think it was that advisory committee that selected her, not really McCain. The only reason she is there is to appeal to some of the female voters anyway. McCain's ratings were dropping until she stepped into the picture.

But yeah, I don't really get that whole Sarah Palin thing. (Tina Fey's stunt double!) I think she is there just for media attention.

They said there was like 8000+ people in Alaska on the news. Because I bet there is nothing to do in Alaska then have pre-marital sex in the snow during the Aurora Borealis! Lee's Summit (That Jesus Camp Helltown where I live now) has a lot more people then 8000 in the city population! Come on now, that is like a cake-walk to us over here...my high school had more people then that! There is nothing in Alaska except for 6 to 9 months of daylight and a gas station or 2. Saying your from Alaska is another way of saying to people: Yes, I live in the US version of friggin' Hoth world, so I can sit at home and watch the Rocky Horror Picture Show on snow days!

I had no desire to even see the McCain-Palin ticket come to John Knox Village in Lee's Summit. It was pretty far from my mind anyway. There were people camping outside the John Knox Pavilion a few days in advance in U-Hauls and vans! Like it was some anticipated concert or a Star Wars movie? Why man? I had no desire to drive down the damn street and see those people in a standing room only atmosphere. And this was their first stop for preaching the insane madness.

(It was only like 4 minutes away from me....and I didn't feel like wasting my over-priced foreign-imported Iraqi gas on this pep rally crap!)

I don't know, I guess I was not in the mood that day to see these people in their propaganda-like ways...sporting off their 5 kids each or crap. Those people are spoiled anyway.

I am sure I was probably sleeping till 4 to 5 in the afternoon that day. Flipping the television and watching those weird attack ads they always run during an election time, in between Judge Judy and the Bernie Mac Death-a-thon. (Those ads are set-up too....another tool of the advisory boards for these candidates. They pre-record all of that stuff ahead of time, while the candidates are on tour.)

Screw the Republicans man, all those political figures suck nowadays....sometimes I like to buy pork barrels with my food stamps you senate slime! It makes for good luncheon meat, ye bastards, so what do they know about it?!

Anyway, jumping the gun here, I thought it was funny when Joe Biden told some Missouri governor to stand up in the crowd. Then he realized: That dude can't stand up cause he is in a wheelchair! LOL, talk about amusement for my sick mind! This is going to be Obama's running mate....a guy who tells the paraplegics of the world to stand strong one day and attack people with their gropers! LOL!

Next thing you know. The Democrats will have an endorsed political art show for the legally blind! Trust me, those educated idiots will come up with it sometime, you watch!

See, this is why I never vote, cause you don't get but 2 to 4 choices anyway every 4 years. (The bad or the worse one, they are all tied into one another anyway to mess up America.) Because they only give us one or the other and there is no middle ground for any outside parties. Otherwise, they consider it as wasting your vote!

I think it is more like wasting your time and gasoline to go to some Evangelical church or school that morning and vote at some booth somewhere. You know what I am saying? Your better off to drive to a comic book store and get some kick ass comic books/graphic novels to read that day! That seems like a more worthwhile thing to do then going to the polls. The voting polls are rigged!

And see, you know the media trys to gear these young kids to vote, even in college. Like it is some sort of hip cool fad and crap. Screw that crap!

It's like they say to you on a daily basis: Either vote for the old-fart warrior and his Alaskan hockey mistress or vote for the semi-tanned guy and his senile running-mate on the ballot. They try to pound in our heads that you need to vote for the fossil who still wants us in a war or the other brother who will raise taxes. But the way government is set up, is no matter who gets more of the votes, Democrats and Republicans are pretty much in the same pool as one another.

If I would vote for somebody in my imagination, it would probably be Ronald Reagan's corpse. (Hey, it can be a secret write-in vote!) I am pretty sure he is not doing much at the moment! A corpse in the Oval Office chair, hey, that sounds awfully death metal to me man! LOL! Or you could just vote for Yoda.....he may be old, but at least he has more Midichorians then these other tripe bastards!

But you know, all of these political people are either tied into these Freemason cults, lobbyists or secret special interest groups. They got lawyers to sway the votes in recalls if they wanted to. They even got people who vote in Guam and The Dominican Republic...and those are not even in the 50 states! See, that shit is messed up beyond any control you think you have...I guess your vote really don't matter...at least to the office whores who run government! I claim nobody on any sort of ballot whatsoever, cause it is rubbish anyway.

I could really care less about these commercials that tell me to vote: Fuck those media bastards, I ain't doing it!!!! They ain't giving me anything in the choices to want to vote for anyway. (And I am still a registered voted, as far as I know.) So yeah, I feel as if I can gripe about that part, in a fair sense to the lack of limited bad choices. Then when America gets further into debt and chaos because of somebody's past vote of a president/vice-president, down the line, they can't come running to me and whining about it later on! I kept saying it didn't really matter anyway....

And people wonder why I never get out of the apartment half of the time, other then to check my email, Myspace or DeviantArt? Hey, at least Star Wars is more entertaining then these political fights. I would watch a Jedi battle any day of the week though!

At least Han Solo made the Kessel run in less then 12 parsecs at one time, which had nothing to do with politics! Mace Windu had to fight a politician once, but then he got dropped out the window by Palpatine. Apparently, Windu was not the voting type either after he had his hand lopped off! Who the hell is going to vote for someone when he gives electrical shocks to elder Jedi's on the top flight of a building? LOL!

Now where the hell is my invisible animal-tested lipstick?

It is so strange for me man. I think I do my absolute best artwork when I am on the brink of psychosis. When the insanity becomes just as strong as the flashbacks I suffer from, this is when and where I do my best artistry. Creativity at it's most wretched and vile on good old bristol board.

Where there is no bounds or restrictions on me, and I am free to draw whatever I feel inside of me that day. Not what the places tell me to draw, but what my instinct guides me to construct that day. When I can let my imagination go to a place that nobody else can, go except for me and only me. It is at these moments when I can share my visions with people in this world.

When it is just me and that drawing paper, some Micron 03s and the endless little details of my crazy imagination. I mean, it is just amazing what you can do when you can map it all out like that. Yet, with some of the techniques in this stuff I do, there is just so many possibilities to it.

I don't tell everybody every single one of my techniques into what I do. Because if I did, it would either bore people to death or they would just try to steal it from me somehow.

But yeah, I studied art for an extremely long time, even subconsciously in my mind from a very early age. I remember when I was forced to go to the principal's office in grade school, just because I found a color art book with nude artistic paintings in it that was sitting on a shelf for me to reach at. I remember just looking at this art for about a minute or so, and it was so wonderful and beautiful, till this bastard librarian lady took it from my hands and punished me for seeing it.

I thought about some of my artistic influences the other day. People that came before me like Richard Corben, Robert Crumb, Daniel Clowes, Sam Kieth, Robert Williams, Frank Frazetta, Simon Bisley, Juan Giminez, Will Eisner, Kevin Nowlan, Vincent Van Gogh, Thomas Hart Benton, Wes Benscoater, Moebius, HR Giger...there is just so damn many to name though. But that is just off the top of my head. And believe me, there are a lot of good ones out there. Some need more credit where it is due, I think.

I guess I am fortunate to come from this Kansas City hub of so many talents of comic writing and art. Cause lets face it, we had Walt Disney as a small animator here, till it gave way to the greedy suit bastards and sold out. (Disney would be rolling in his grave if he saw how vile Hannah Montana was? Or how Disney sold out with a suit called Michael Eisner. At least Tron had Moebius, dammit!)

But you see, I am the true visionary outcast of all of those people, and I still claim way to being a ex-Comics Creators Network person of being in multiple comics. Some of them are in awe, envy...sometimes even jealous as the day they let me go. But hey, that is the rough background of the scene for you....I went on and they didn't. Even if some still choose to ignore what I have done with comics, I still my own way into endurance and imagination.

Seems like everytime I am let go of some publisher in Kansas City, my comics stuff goes more into a cult status anyway.

My heritage in art come from both the sickness and the gifted world of true comic book creators. My focus on certain days can be so dead on, that some days you would not believe it. The clarity and the crisp, clean edginess of it all. Art is a language to me, that I get better a speaking with, every day I do this.

I became a cult phenomenon on my own terms, with my own skills and expertise to bring to the table. Every time there was some strange shift in the Kansas City scene of the want-to-bees, it always seemed as if my art grew more from all of that mess. Against a backdrop of these boring people who knew how to glimpse at a masterpiece temporarily. But see, it is another thing to live the masterpiece, to have it replicate in your mind arbitrarily! To draw or paint with every squiggle or structure from your own background and skills. This is what it is all about.

I never came up from a place like New York or California, where being a comic artist or writer is a lot more commonplace. Where art studios and shows are a lot more abundant on both coasts. I guess the Kansas City art scene can either be really open or just very harsh. But Kansas City is always humid, so I think that plays a part into creating with me.

Fuck dude, I never even visited either of these places during my life so far. And I am 35 now, still stuck in the Midwest. I am afraid that if I go there, the people would act too snobby. Like they do on the internet at times. See, that don't impress me either. I guess I stay away from that.

I remember when one of my old teacher/counselors told me this....

If you were not such a prodigy in art, I think you would have been a serial killer in prison!

Looking back on that, he was probably right, because I do tend to shut myself away when I do a masterpiece. Being just some high school punk-ass in the system, that could not been closer to the truth. But then again, I had to work my way through school too, to prove that I was just more then a thrash metal freak of nature with a jean jacket and a backpatch!

When I saw little cheerleader girls getting knocked up and doing their illegal substances at wild parties with the football team, I was the misfit in a middle-class town. I was the underdog who they never thought would make it with comics, because I was the absolute last one they expected. I was the one they ignored the most. I was also the one who had a tremendous amount of imagination to carry me to places I never traveled to.

Boy, did I ever prove those little punk bastards wrong in the long run! So be it!

When the so-called popularity contests in high school died out, I went onward beyond that scope. I saw a better place for myself, in the cheapo field of comics. When the former members of drill team dropped out of high school to have 6 left-over children, I went to art school to learn the artistic secrets of then and now.

Sure enough, I have that Associates Degree of Commercial Art and Industrial Design to my namesake. Whether I wanted it or not certain days, it was a really difficult and stressful degree to get. What do some of these people have now that never even got a GED? Misguided offspring with hyperactive fits of rage? Alcoholism and plagues with heavy drug problems in the background? Screw that, my creative mind is much more orderly then that!

Some of those loser bastards don't even know how use the internet! But dammit, do they know how to abuse being drunk every other night! They know how to be uneducated trailer trash with no future or background in education. It is sad, really, but sometimes you do write your own scripts in life.

I don't know, I always thought humility played a big part into getting noticed. I should know, I had every possible rejection letter and letdown you could imagine by certain comic companies in the 90s. Including Verotik, Boneyard and even Image. But somehow, I overcame that obstacle and stayed true to myself. I even had to stop doing album covers for metal bands just to get that raw creative freedom I only get with doing the comics stuff that I am doing.

But right now, it is a totally different story with my art! I am well on my way to surpass being in 30 comics before the end of the year of 2008! I am working on it....

(Keep in mind this, that they considered me a has-been artist at the age of 25! What a difference 8 years can make!)

I remember a comic show when I saw one of my old Lee's Summit High School alumni. He said to me this very thing.....

Wow, I cant believe you had done 25+ comic projects with both Radio and Antarctic! You amazing and always have a driving desire to draw and write!!! That is not me now. I had a kid and lead a yuppy drab lifestyle with my lady and kid! I went to school with the greats like Jim Mawfood and Mike Huddleston.....now I can say your in that league as well!

Then all of the sudden, he walked away for me out the door! He was so ashamed and embarrassed that he was one of the ones who picked on me in high school. He just could not believe I was sitting there at Mo-Kan Comics Conspiracy 2007 with Michael Golden in the room. As far as I remember, he didn't even buy a comic book from me at all. (That Jason R., what is he doing nowadays? LOL!)

But then again, I always thought I was a better quality artist then Kelley Seda in the KC art scene, who had ties with Mawfood and Huddleston. I don't know, her art is just too artsy-fartsy nouveau for my tastes...her stuff was way too off-beat for me. I always thought that Mike Huddleston and Jim Mawfood were a testament to the Kansas City art scene here, and quite a bit better.

(Even though Huddleston moved to Chicago and Mawfood went to LA, I could very well be one of the few holding the comic forts up in Kansas City.)

My art comes a different part of the psyche then all of those other artists and writers. And that is alright by me! Cause you see, I have no intention of being a Jim Lee or Rob Liefeld clone. I could be the better person for that.

I do try to mix it up with stuff that I am doing in art. To me, that is just good diversity at it should be.

I don't really want to be quite like anybody else in comics, all I want to be is myself. With my original approach to storytelling. That is all I ever strive to be, in the first place.

Sometimes, when your striving to be the best that you can be, it can be lonely at the top of your game. Like that song from Iron Maiden: The Loneliness Of The Long Distance Runner. Some days, it can be like that. Being alone with your thoughts and visions from post-traumatic stress disorder, but then, creating out of all of that.

But then again, this is why I am here. To achieve and to go about it in my own, distinct way. And if they don't like it, then it never mattered anyway.

That is what art and comics are to me....this document into my own life, in that time or place.

Hell yeah, white honkys!

Oh yes, and if you so desire to bug your comic stores about my future comics projects....here is a list of them in no particular order that I will be in! There may even be more then this....but you can always get back issues as well, if need be. Look out for these comics....

Pirates Vs Ninjas Annual 1: Antarctic Press

Hit The Beach 14: Radio Comix

Ninja High School Yearbook 2008: Antarctic Press

Gold Digger Annual 14: Antarctic Press

Gold Digger Swimsuit 16: Antarctic Press

Furrlough ???: Radio Comix

Genus ???: Radio Comix

Just keep your eyes peeled for my stuff! Hound your local comic stores for Radio Comix and Antarctic Press releases and put them on your pull list!

(Or just search for them somewhere online, and order them on www.radiocomixstore.com or anywhere online...us indie dudes are way more awesome and always need the support!)

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Also: I will be included in some way or form into doing a signing, as part of Lawless Comics at Mo-Kan Comics Conspiracy on September 20-21:2008. (My friend on Troost who specializes in indie comic books in Kansas City is helping me.)

This is one of the better known shows in/around the Kansas City area. (That means I will be getting some table space and helping out with the Lawless Times thing like last year! Along with a crappy dealer's badge on hand, if nobody decided to kick me out like they did many years ago! Ha ha, pray that don't happen to me again. I just want to plug some comix dude!)

Yes, I will be there with Furrloughs and Gold Digger Specials at the ready. Representing Radio Comix and Antarctic Press like I so often do! This will be my 7^th comic book show if everything goes according to plan....

So if you feel like you have the gas tanked up in your car and want to meet me, Stan Sakai (Usagi Yojimbo and an old Furrlough Cover!) and Sergio Aragones (Groo and Mad Magazine!) in the same room...this could be your chance!

Just visit www.mokancomics.com for more information, if your in the Kansas City area for where it is! This one should be a total blast, like it was last year!

(If you are looking for me. Look for the dude wearing a death metal t-shirt, ugly long red hair and serial killer glasses!)

Thank you so very much for your continual support!

Gosh, I don't know about Bob Ross man, he had to be a closet maniac with an afro back in the day! Then his ultimate revenge was to bore some of us advanced artists to death!

I mean, I was cool, I learned how to paint from him a bit when I was younger....much younger, when the television had really crappy reception! But that was then, and this is now.....the low-def analog days are over for now and I graduated from art college a long damn time ago....

Then I discovered the miracle of high-definition television and the extra hidden channels that I never knew about before. Then they sort of started to show The Joy Of Painting again on the Kansas City Public Television Create station.

It is usually on in the afternoons before that station closes off for the day. 19-3 only shows from 6 in the morning till 6 at night here. Usually after the cooking shows like Lidia's Italy, The Piano Guy and whatever else they just happen to show on Thursdays.

And of course, I sat there, watching his creeping madness seep in me once again. Cause lets face it, The Joy Of Painting with Bob Ross was rather weird. Him and that mellow monotone voice that he uses, with him sitting in a pitch dark room, painting crappy scenes with a putty knife, his dripping pallet in his hand and his art lessons on crying canvas.

Gosh, Bob Ross is really neurotic, like he was sniffing mushrooms before the broadcasts. What the hell is a happy little tree man? Was that like a metaphor for Bob Ross's secret pot habit? LOL!

Happy little clouds had to be a metaphor for smoking the Mary Jane, you know I ain't lying about that! I know Bob Ross was around during the Cheech and Chong days, so that would explain a lot! He did look a bit out of it when he gazed into the camera.

But yeah, once Bob Ross got to going, he was there that entire solid half hour painting and talking about his happy little clouds and trees! He probably never had to pay for his art supplies since he got his Public Television gig and got endorsed by Hobby Lobby and Michaels. So of course, that made him a lucky and fortunate bastard.

But then I started to wonder this: Did Bob Ross ever just snap before he passed away? Like did he ever have this raw fit of cussing and breaking stuff behind the scenes? He probably did.

I mean, think about it here, he was probably tied to a lucrative contract. His only media competition was probably Captain Kangaroo, Sesame Street and H.R. Pufnstuf back then! You think this dude would be worried about the Telletubbies or Barney in this day and age? He could have kicked their sorry little stuffed asses!

Bob Ross, he had the bellbottoms, the mellowed out sniffing of paint thinners, the unlimited supply acetate and all of that time to paint the same damn mountain/tree scene over and over again. Just in slightly different ways. I bet he was secretly crazy some days or nights, trust me on that dude!

Cause as far as I know, Bob Ross never did a single comic book! His style would have been to mediocre for that, I bet....

He was all like, in his mellow dirge of madness: Now we got the contest winners today who watch my show! They like my show, and then they can see the beautiful scenes that I paint here! The grand prize was this scene of a lake and flowing river and happy little trees! Awwwww.....and here is a happy little rock formation that I am painting! Just dab it on with your brush and paint it back and forth, up and down. We don't know where it's going, just be mellow with the yellow ocher and indigo blue paint!

Right away, I felt this huge urge to slap my white trash television set. But I didn't. I should have sent something to that damn contest man back then, but I never knew about it! I was too busy listening to thrash metal at an early age. LOL!

But I just think that Bob Ross should have had at least 1 show where he was body painting some nude hot chick! From the Playboy Mansion or something, I don't know, anything for sweeps! Just for ratings back then, cause they showed a lot more nudity on Public Television anyway. (remember those African Tribe specials and those Monty Python episodes?) So it would not have been a big deal! I could just hear it in my crazy head now with that mellow voice of his....

So here we are on The Joy Of Painting again. Instead of a canvas today, I got this hot nude lady right in front of me to lay acrylics on! So lets paint her happy little perky nipples and creamy skin, so it is like a beach scene on the front! Oh, there it is!

Remember to be soft at first, then get a bit harder at it goes along! Smudge the white on her boobies and where ever you like to start, you can make the white if you like from your own lower being! It is all up to you, just be creative with it! Aha!

Awww, she has a happy little bush, so lets just paint a simple little house over that! There we go, try to be fluffy at times. Awww, look at her, she is smiling back at me and looking at my happy little bellbottoms in the lower canvas region!

I guess my happy little Bobby Junior down below woke up after a few minutes from that. Oh joy!

She must be ticklish when I paint this on her neckline, that is her happy erogenous zone! So lets just get into the art thing there...aha, there we go! Beautiful!

Well lets go for the purple mauve and red crimson paint here, and just mix that in with the feather brush. There we go, nice and easy! Easy does it...easy....EASY! Yes....you can paint like this at home, if you have a hot chick who is willing and some imagination, there is no telling what you can do kids.

Now we are going to turn the girl around, and then we will use her ass for some sort of mountain scene. Just to complete what I have already, because her real mountains are right there! We already painted the bush and house scene when I was staring at her breasts for 15 minutes straight! That was wonderful!

But for a change of pace, we will just rotate her around like so. Ahhhh, there you have it, another canvas of lust!

So we may not know what is going on here at first, but it will all come out at the end like it always does. She don't mind, she has a happy little vagina when bent over. Wow....there it goes!

She is rather tight and firm on your local PBS station....ahhhhh-ha! Will you just look at that hot ass? Nice!

Yes, happy little perked-up mountain boobies, tight healthy little packages, joyous beavers of joy and happy little mustache rides! Yes....join us on your station again. When we bring you part two.....

Bob Ross finally gets laid and has happy little sex with the model girl painting with the art brush! Brushes do have more then one use, folks! Even the battery powered eraser ones that are at your local art stores!

Keep on doing that art. This is Bob Ross...and God bless you happy little bastards! Do come again, I know I will cause I am paying extra for this pleasure!

LOL! Hell-arious! I think I watch too much television anyway, look at what it's doing to me man? All of my strange thoughts at work again, in the gutter like they usually are. Yeah, go figure! LOL!

Oh well, so much for these obscure painting shows.....

You know, I was thinking about it the other day? About the great expanse of art in the field of comics, and some days, it can be just really hard if you don't have the right kind of support. I thank goodness that I do, and this is what keeps me going. Comics are very very hard to break into if you don't have the right sort of structure, patience and perseverance to endure it all. But to make it, you do have to endure it all. All of the pains and rejections of striving to be your best in each and every page and panel. It all has to fit together in a cohesive whole.

Yeah, it is tough, and you do get a lot of ideas thrown your way. But if you use the best ones, you will be successful every single time.

To grasp the concept of doing comics means you have to grasp quality and storytelling, all in one.

I had fond and harsh memories of college art school and high school advanced art. One harsh memory of it all, was having a fellow classmate tell me that I would never make it in comics. But as of this blog, I had gotten into my 13^th Furrlough with another Death Metal Bunny Brigade story. (My third DMBB story to be exact with Radio Comix! And if your looking around your local comic stores, it is Furrlough 184.)

And then later in the month, Pirates Vs Ninjas Annual Number 1 will have 2 of my illustrations. I will be in there with Fred Perry and a lot of other top-named indie talents. (Hey, better Antarctic Press payed for the publishing tab then me! Thank goodness for that. LOL!)

Hopefully by the end of the year, I will be close to or at 30 comics in 3 years time as a freelance creator. (Right now, I am on 26 and counting when the Comics Creators Network left me hanging.)

So bug your stores for any/all of the Radio Comix and Antarctic Press titles that you can get your filthy hands on! (Even if I may just happen to be in the titles!)

Gosh, I came such a long way from the torments of art school and old broken-down car hell. (I do not miss that 1200 dollar cheerleader-mobile that broke down on me numerous times on the highway.)

Paying for some of these snooty teachers salaries at Longview Community College who didn't really give a damn after they got off of work. I remember it well, paying my way through school, just to hold a part-time job and to keep on learning to perfect my art style on a cheaper and more practical level. Some people didn't get it, because they were snobs anyway. My art had to be another level to get noticed. But it took lots and lots of practice for me, lots of time and pure sacrifice. I remember, there was a time when I had to be the most underrated artist in my college and I could not get a single publisher to even look at me cross-eyed. Despite almost getting into Pi Theta Kappa (That was the honors society at Longview), but not getting in cause I really sucked at math.

I also recall this ploy by some teachers, to keep me away from certain classes. So I didn't even learn Photoshop till after I got my degree and I took it as an audit course. After that, it just seemed to go uphill in my art learning.

But then I went and regressed into further thoughts about the past and learning about comics art....

In art school, there is a unwritten law they never tell you: They never teach you that a lot of the higher-ups in Image Comics are closet alcoholics! I am not kidding, that is the honest truth, cause I had some of them tell me about it! And I think that is why they choose not to publish me or even people who are/were related to them, because I am out of their league and I don't really want to listen to bland-ass alternative music that makes no sense to me. (For instance: Cellar Door Publishing was giving me the runaround for many years, till I just had enough of it and left! I want to do comics first and then get the girls later, LOL! I refuse to sleep with anyone to get a publishing deal, period.)

Then there is another unwritten rule related to that: Did you ever wonder why Image never had a mature readers or adults line in comics? I often wondered that myself....DC has Vertigo, Dark Horse has themselves and Marvel has Marvel Max....what does Image have, Hawaiian Dick? LOL!

But then I thought about it some more, I suppose you have to be to get pushed into perfection times infinity for The big I! Heh! It is so odd, every time I see these people in conventions or whatever, they are holding some large-ass cup of beer! Like one day, I was browsing the net, and Eric Larsen had this big-ass thing of beer at some pub somewhere with a ironic frown. (Now I know why they call the Savages a Draggin'! Damn, man!) And Bee-Klay drinks a lot too, so I seen the evidence in those pics, but I just assume the wife could have been giving him the runaround again. (Even though, he is one of Images better writers, I would still refuse a drink from him for a good Cola! LOL!)

Then when you go to these conventions to meet some of these Image guys, they just seem really out of it come Sunday morning! Sometimes they do not bother to show up for the damn comic book show! That is because they were drinking that Saturday night before, because that is just the Image frat way, yo!

If this is the case, I bet Todd MacFarlane and Rob Liefeld are just a keg houses then! Liefeld draws them with keg chests and drinks them too....then there was that weird phaze where MacFarlane was buying expensive baseballs and showing them off on TV. He either was not thinking or he was just a drunk who was spending way too much cash on a stupid baseball! (Those things are like 2 or 3 dollars at Dicks Sporting Goods! Come on now, Mister Spawn! Just forge the damn name already, your an artist!!!)

(Then again, I think about it, Steve Niles may also be a total booze hound as well, as I deducted with my detective skills! He never really gives me the time of day either...he is just too damn busy being Mister Hollywood Horror writer who ignores the Mickmo!)

Damn, I am so glad I do not drink, smoke or do smuggled drugs. Trust me man, if you read these blogs that I write, you know I don't need any of that crap like that to make me more insane! It just comes natural to me anyway. I would be drawing a lot less if my judgment was impaired by some bastard alcohol. I think there is enough alcoholic morons out there who want to be mediocre from excess beer and vodka. I know I am better then that, cause alcohol is for the fools who want to be impaired and slowed down in judgement.

But another unwritten rule that art schools may not teach you is this: People who try to suck you into bogus Tokyopop publishing deals are heinous to begin with!

Yeah, I heard these really wild things about Tokyopop. How they try to tie you into a evil contract, and then they don't stipulate that you may have to help them pay for the publishing later on! Then if that is not bad enough, you are at the mercy of some power-hungry editorial board that may stand you up for months on doing graphic novels. But the worst part of it that I heard: Tokyopop may not even plug your books when they travel at major comic book shows! What the fuck is that nonsense? When a major publisher conspiracy is so much of a wussy-ass, they won't even bring the actual books for a plug? Gosh, they are not even worth my time, so they should not be worth your time either. STAY AWAY FROM TOKYOPOP! They could just very well be a bowlful of suck for a very long time to come!

I am almost positive some Tokyopop person will tell you some horror story about it, in one form or another. I am pretty certain that somebody else will fight them in court in another lawsuit. Now you know!

Another unwritten law of comics is this: IDW or some other publisher has yet to publish a House MD comic! Okay, I admit, I am not really into Ghost Whisperer but I like the Doctor Who Comics. But not having Doctor House in comic book form, after all of those brilliant shows of being a dramatic lupus doctor with a cane is just freaking blasphemy!

If there is a petition floating around to start up a House MD comic, I will sign my name multiple times on an online petition if I could read House insulting Cuddy's breasts, make fun of a dying patient or flirting with a bisexual hottie: Doctor 13. House could screw with the younger doctor's minds, to scare the living crap out of them for a correct diagnoses. Perhaps fire a few upcoming doctors. Then discuss it later on with Foreman, Wilson or Cutthroat Bitch! LOL!

I want my House MD comic books, dammit! Hugh Laurie is an acting god with a flame cane!!!!

Is this asking too much? I don't seem to think so, it would be a huge hit if IDW or some other publisher woke up out of the fog and printed that! The House MD comic is an Eisner in the wait, easily! You know this, man, it would be huge!

Yeah, tell that to those publishers man.....please spread the word on House: The Comic Book! Thank you.

And the final unwritten rule of comic books: Don't bring a portfolio review to a local comic show, send a copy of it to the publishers snail mail address instead! The reason I say that, is because many publishers are half-asleep and blurred from the endless roadtrips of trying to make it to the shows. Plus, they like to see a grasp for what you do artisticly. Just ask around, through email or snail mail if they could use a spot in a publication. It is less hassle and a publisher will be more then likely to remember a reply from email. Rather then if you just show then some stuff at a show, they may forget.

Then if the publisher can't use the stuff, then you just move on to the next publisher who can back a project for you. An indie is a lot more likely to give it a chance then the big 4. So try that first, don't get your heart set for a heart-break, but if it does happen, keep testing the streets for other avenues. Look for a publisher that will cater to your style, even if it is erotica or whatever else. But keep an open mind about it, flex your story telling skills and try sending it in to various publishers.

(A correct way is to go to a local comic book store, see if they have any Previews catalogs that they can give to you, then just go down the list for website contacts. There is a lot of publishers out there if the first few don't pan out.)

And this, my friends of the art forms, is what the art schools may not tell you! But I am telling you, cause you may wind up with a great publisher, the thing is, you just can't give up without a fight or art practice. I should know, I have fought some comic places, but on the way, I learned who the legit people were as well. I learned who I could get along with, as opposed as who I couldn't.

Keep creating and never give up!!!!! Perfect yourself in the comic books sense, then somebody will notice you to go pro!

And now, more blog for you to read!

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Yeah, going back to my babysitting rants again, so as to piss off the masses again. Oh freaking well, nothing I can do about it, right? What happens, happens!

But some of you may laugh, even if you just happen to report me for bad humor to some local donut-eating cop out there! LOL!

(That has happened more then once to me, mind you!!!! Cops have better things to do, like sending bully-ass Swat teams to Dunkin Donuts affiliates...but anyway....)

Alright, Tantrum Girl is alright at times, but once she throws her little sissy-fits of endless misery. She just goes to town, man! She makes everybody know in a circular radius of her angry being! There is like, no way to stop it, cause she goes off like a damn car alarm in an empty parking lot! Like she will start crying, and then she will get on the floor, face first and start screaming and banging the gawd-damned floor for hours! (Yes, like an fruity epileptic seizure!)

I am convinced that her anger mode ensemble, is just to show off for attention!

She is always like: Noooooo! Momee! Aaaaaaaaargh.....aaaaaagh! Then this scenario happens....

"Stomps, kicks, screams endless bloody agony, rolls around, sometimes hits her face against the wall...then wets pants till it Terra-forms a small pond on the floor!"

And all I can really say at the time is: Shut up girl, Mommy is not coming back till she feels like it! Get a grip already! She may never come back if you scream and yell like that for days! Then what will the fits do you if she is across town?

Then more of the crazy fits go onward.....

Then if that is not bad enough, then she cusses at the tender age of 2! Dammit Mommy! where are you, I want mom-aey!!!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaagh! MOM-EEEEEEE!

Then one day, I found something that made her sort of snap out of it. One night it was totally dark and creepy in the house. And for some reason, Tantrum Girl got really startled from staring at my belly for prolonged periods of time. She got scared cause of its rotund attributes. If I lifted my shirt: She thinks my belly is some sort of man-eating belly that gets evil and eats people! Ha ha ha!

So one day, I was all like this in being pseudo-serious.....

If you don't behave, the man-eating belly is going to get you!

"Grumble, rumble, grumble...."

Then right away, she was all like: Oh no, not that! I will be good girl, I don't want the belly to eat me! AAAAAAARGH, me scared of bell-ay!!!!! Waaaaahhhhhh!

5 to 10 minutes later, the girl gets tired and runs to her room. (In no particular order.) She gets so worked up, she ends up either taking a nap or watching some thing on the pathetic Disney Sadist Channel. Either way, her behavior gets better over time.

Then she is good for the rest of the night, because of the power of my fat-ass belly that supposedly talks to people! She gets so damn freaked out when the bellybutton lint drops out, that becomes icing on the cake. Cause then she just thinks that Mr. Belly is puking or some crap and then she runs the high road to the other room! LOL! It is really funny, except for her I guess!

God, she may be tormented by my belly for life. But then again, the solid memory in a child's mind doesn't really form till it's 5, sometimes they are lucky to remember to last week....so that is that, you so called science experts!

Oh, your probably laughing at that, I know you! Except for the feminists, then of course, they probably hate me now! Look at what I done, why did I do this? Me bad boy!

LOL!

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One day, I told the kindergarten and first graders girls I do sitting for at times. I said to them this out of the blue cause I was just really frustrated....

You know what I think, girls? I think Deicide and Slayer could win against the feeble Jonas Brothers!

And right away: These crazy little girls followers were not having that crap! Man, you talk about sacrilege in the big household and human zoo! The flesh of the house was all up in arms over that shit! These little girls got brainwashed by the stupid ploy of the Jonas Brothers!

But you know I am right here, it wouldn't even be a contest man if that was on pay-per-view! 3 pre-pubescent lackey no-talents against a few devil-worshippers who are clearly 300 pounds each of muscle and metal music! I would pay to see that, more then once, mind you! I would even rent the DVD!!!!

I told these girls: Don't even mess with the Deicide/Slayer! They command hellfire, cattle prods and all things of the barbecue realm and will just waste the Jonas Brothers to oblivion!

Then again, screaming and yelling ensues of the indoor Disney cults.....

Glen Benton, Kerry King and Tom Araya would not only wipe up the map with these 3 brat bastards in a triple tag-team. The Jonas Brothers would beaten up, down, into a damn bloody pulp and possibly in the burn ward from all of that demon-fire that was hurdled at them!

(I may be the only one who cared to notice this....that guy on Deicide's Stench Of Redemption. That has to be a doctored-photoshopped Will Ferrell man! Look very very closely at it, it has to be the same guy! Like that quote from Talladega Nights: I'm on fire, i'm on fire! Glen Benton, help me, I am on fire! LOL!)

But that would be a good thing They may not record crappy-ass albums anymore after that torchy-charred mess. This modern day abomination of pop music would be taken down, stomped and sacked! Good Lord, I hate the Jonas Brother bastards....they suck large gay cocks!

Johnny Depp could take on all 3 Jonas-ii with pirate swords man! Dani Filth from Cradle Of Filth could destroy them with projectile face-paint...cause you know the Jonas Bastards bruise easily anyway!

He he he, I think Deadly Kristin from Dreamlike Horror/Ancient fame could take on Hannah Montana or one of the Jonas Brothers! Ha ha, I would desperately try to find footage of that on YouTube and bookmark that, just to embrace it in some metal victory of greatness and show a few of my buddies!

(I am almost certain it would be a Deadly K-KO to Hannah Montana's head in less then a minute, ha ha! That would be, like, totally awesome!)

The Jonas Brothers have to be like, what? 70 to 85 pounds each, tops? Even if that, cause they are small rodent fucks! Dude, I got paperweights that weight more then these dancing fool morons who can't sing!

Bandit the cat could take a single Jonas Brother out by claws to the balls in one fatal swipe! Nobody messes with Bandit, he is wildfire feline! LOL!

I mean, it is not like the Jonas Brothers are sparing for loose change here? They can't possibly fool me with their larcenous lip-sinking like-ways to please these little girls! The oldest brother gets laid by Hannah Montana, so even if they do get low on pocket change, they can borrow allowance money to compensate man!

Let these big-ass dudes of the metal community just beat the crap out of these Brothers of Jonas. Members of Origin, Vital Remains or Cannibal Corpse can wail on them, I don't care man! Then The Jone-Ass can call it a hiatus when they are in the intensive care unit! But then the alternate media would call it: Well deserved punishment for the sappy crap that plagues the mainstream radio waves of ass! ASS I SAY!

ASSY DAMN FREAKIN' LARDY LARD ASS!!

Oh well, I guess the Jone-Ass Brothers will be somewhere in the world, performing their asshole-like medleys to the brainwashed ones and ripping off our future youth in ticket prices.

All the while, I will be in hiding in some war bunker, staring at hot girls online in awe somewhere I will never get with, listening to my death/black metal and drawing while House or Doctor Who comes on my digital television screen! Somewhere in the dead of night, in my little apartment...away from Hell's Children and the screams of broken Popsicle sticks!

Yes, this is my life, for better or worse! Oh fucking well!

Hah! Where is my George Carlin CD when I need it!?

Well, it has been awhile since I wrote a blog. Cause I have been busy with life, unlove and the vast scopes anti-psychotic drugs from behind a pharmacy somewhere. Well, at least I do try man! But what the fuck do I really know man? I just lurk underneath the surface for those whom dare to admire and gossip the made-up crap of our society. Either way, I still don't really give a damn at all, so deal with it!

Well, it goes like this. Do you ever have one of those interesting weekend where nothing is going right and everything just seems like it is a playbook from pure hell? And no matter what good you try to do, it just seems like it is all for nothing? This weekend was my weekend of pure and unadulterated stress, beyond compare.

I was helping a friend of mine who is related to one of my relatives. They got 6 kids! I sometimes get caught up sitting when the parents decide they want to go a bar and get wasted out of their damn minds.

Well one of these kids is autistic. So, as you expect, he is not always there when he needs to be. Mentally that is. Deep down, I think the kid could have some sort of breakthrough. But believe me, it was definitely not going to happen during that weekend or anytime soon!

The kid is something else, a rare breed of psychosis, and most babysitters can't seem to handle him, cause he tends to drive you nuts and he swalks like a freaking parrot! He literally jumps on your back too and tries to remove my glasses. I mean, the kid can repeat things like a broken record sometimes, if he is wired enough. (Which tends to be a lot!)

Well, this weekend, he was totally wired! Sometimes he can say semi-normal stuff, other times, it comes out in pure Arabic gibberish. Your sitting there, like saying to yourself: What the hell is this language that he invented?

Again to the semi-normality here, the kid was sitting near me one day, and says the strangest thing that Mickmo ears can ever hear....

"Druggie Rugs!"

And he kept on repeating it to oblivion. What the hell is a druggie rug man, some throwback from the 19-freaking-60s? Will somebody tell me what the hell this really is? I mean, of all of the odd things to spill out of one's mouth, it was this? What the fuck was this little dude saying?

I remember it man, he was jumping off the couch and acting so wild for hours. Then if that was not enough: He was totally nude doing it! I mean, this kid got into birthday suit mode and just had at it like he was galloping on a damn horse. No wonder the sisters call him naked-boy. Heh!

Oh yes, not to mention that when he was in the raw, he would sometimes goe to the toilet and show me thaty he didn't wipe his ass. Like, why the hell would I even want to bother seeing that? Go get some toilet paper dude!

But the ones that can be pure hell were the younger sisters. The 2 youngest are like hellions on 2 short legs. And the are not autistic, but just as crabby at times and sometimes really mean. Like one throws these really bad tantrums, the other just can be downright annoying.

So one day, the mother checked up on me. She was saying: Are you alright? I know you had been having flashbacks about bad stuff and I just wanted to make sure you were okay.

And I was more less like: Yeah, those kids were rendering my flashbacks cause of all of the stress. They were going totally crazy half of the night.

So then she says: Hey, I got an idea.....

She then tells me in another room: If you want to get them to sleep you have to mix in some of this sleep cold medicine with some Kool-Aid, trust me, it will work if you want some peace!

And right away, I began to see some hope in my wretched and twisted little mind. My sorrow somehow filled up with some sick victory as I would take part in the perfect Kool-Aid Cult. Yeah, I felt a little like Jim Jones at the point in time, and these kids were like the People's Church and lined up one-by-one for their fucking downfall. But it didn't kill them, it just zonked them out for a good 6 to 8 hours. These kids were drinking a lot of that crap, but they liked the minty taste of it all.

(By the time they did wake up the next morning, they were very sleepy still, like it stunned them real good!)

Naked-Boy was the hardest one to sell it to, he was so damn stubborn at first. He was all like: Noo-hoo-hoo! Doing what he does best, the art of fake crying and and bouncing off the damn walls like some Asian monkey. Just to get some sort of attention. (When he is not repeating the word: dinosaur or buddy about a billion times in my ear!) But after a few minutes, he was swigging on the stuff like there was no tomorrow.

Whatever was in that stuff, took effect rather quick, like in a ½ hour.

He started to get dizzy, and the other kids who drank the stuff were passing out first before him. At first I felt a bit guilty about it. Then part of me said to myself: These little bastards are going down and I can watch Doctor Who, yeah!

What a night man! The night before of child care was really insane. I mean, it was like a human zoo full of angry animals who were at their wit's end. When one of the kids got really freaking homicidal and pulled out a decent sized kitchen knife on the older sister and tried to slit her wrists. (A 8 year old, mind you who just snapped!) That was a little freaky for me, I think that was another factor that rendered my flashbacks to it's most visual and painful.

Then after the walks home after all of those nut-job nights, what did I do after that? I worked on some more of my serial killer series. It is a collection of the darkest souls who ever lived and died in this world, and I am depicting them in their element. For which, if you are curious, you can see it at http://mickmoart.deviantart.com

That seemed to be the best time to work on those sorts of drawing for me, at my most neurotic and suffering during the darkest parts of night. When I was totally on the brink of insanity when I was coming up with some of my best works of visual madness, after a long night of helping with child care insanity. The best can only get better, at least I think so.

The peace I feel, away from these screaming and hostile kids, is second-to-none. When you see and witness these rampant kids, it is enough to make you sterile for months on end. Some days, it is just easier to break away, where freedom seems a little bit more free and calm. Within a tiny apartment where I have my digital television, art supplies and death/black metal at hand.

Where I don't have to tell a silly damn child: Yes, really! Hannah Montana is just a rich 15-year old slut who got a lucky break, just cause her father is some mainstream suck-ass country star who sings "Achy Breaky Heart" and has connections. And why is her drummer in some damn boxing ring, he can't drum worth a damn! I can drum better then that over-payed bastard, and I don't even have a drumset!

Or if I tell them....

Raven Simone is just a 2-bit whore who got it lucky with Bill Cosby, because she looked adorable then and couldn't act! Okay, maybe an 8-bit skank if she still plays her Atari! LOL!

Anyway: Confinement always can be a plus when you do not have to deal with the screaming Children Of The Corn on a semi-daily basis. Trust me, you don't know the fucking 10 miles till you have walked it in my shoes. I got to these points, where I just could not handle the stress anymore. It was way too much for me and my psychotic disorders.

Fukk it, deal with that, folks! I know what the hell flashbacks really are, a sad reenactment of powerful and bad memories that never seem to end. They put them away for awhile, but they always come back like a bastard uncle. Yeah, that part of it really sucks! The psychosis and the longing....

But there I am, a unique cog to the world.....

Well, it has been awhile since I wrote a blog. Cause I have been busy with life, unlove and the vast scopes anti-psychotic drugs from behind a pharmacy somewhere. Well, at least I do try man! But what the fuck do I really know man? I just lurk underneath the surface for those whom dare to admire and gossip the made-up crap of our society. Either way, I still don't really give a damn at all, so deal with it!

Well, it goes like this. Do you ever have one of those interesting weekend where nothing is going right and everything just seems like it is a playbook from pure hell? And no matter what good you try to do, it just seems like it is all for nothing? This weekend was my weekend of pure and unadulterated stress, beyond compare.

I was helping a friend of mine who is related to one of my relatives. They got 6 kids! I sometimes get caught up sitting when the parents decide they want to go a bar and get wasted out of their damn minds.

Well one of these kids is autistic. So, as you expect, he is not always there when he needs to be. Mentally that is. Deep down, I think the kid could have some sort of breakthrough. But believe me, it was definitely not going to happen during that weekend or anytime soon!

The kid is something else, a rare breed of psychosis, and most babysitters can't seem to handle him, cause he tends to drive you nuts and he swalks like a freaking parrot! He literally jumps on your back too and tries to remove my glasses. I mean, the kid can repeat things like a broken record sometimes, if he is wired enough. (Which tends to be a lot!)

Well, this weekend, he was totally wired! Sometimes he can say semi-normal stuff, other times, it comes out in pure Arabic gibberish. Your sitting there, like saying to yourself: What the hell is this language that he invented?

Again to the semi-normality here, the kid was sitting near me one day, and says the strangest thing that Mickmo ears can ever hear....

"Druggie Rugs!"

And he kept on repeating it to oblivion. What the hell is a druggie rug man, some throwback from the 19-freaking-60s? Will somebody tell me what the hell this really is? I mean, of all of the odd things to spill out of one's mouth, it was this? What the fuck was this little dude saying?

I remember it man, he was jumping off the couch and acting so wild for hours. Then if that was not enough: He was totally nude doing it! I mean, this kid got into birthday suit mode and just had at it like he was galloping on a damn horse. No wonder the sisters call him naked-boy. Heh!

Oh yes, not to mention that when he was in the raw, he would sometimes goe to the toilet and show me thaty he didn't wipe his ass. Like, why the hell would I even want to bother seeing that? Go get some toilet paper dude!

But the ones that can be pure hell were the younger sisters. The 2 youngest are like hellions on 2 short legs. And the are not autistic, but just as crabby at times and sometimes really mean. Like one throws these really bad tantrums, the other just can be downright annoying.

So one day, the mother checked up on me. She was saying: Are you alright? I know you had been having flashbacks about bad stuff and I just wanted to make sure you were okay.

And I was more less like: Yeah, those kids were rendering my flashbacks cause of all of the stress. They were going totally crazy half of the night.

So then she says: Hey, I got an idea.....

She then tells me in another room: If you want to get them to sleep you have to mix in some of this sleep cold medicine with some Kool-Aid, trust me, it will work if you want some peace!

And right away, I began to see some hope in my wretched and twisted little mind. My sorrow somehow filled up with some sick victory as I would take part in the perfect Kool-Aid Cult. Yeah, I felt a little like Jim Jones at the point in time, and these kids were like the People's Church and lined up one-by-one for their fucking downfall. But it didn't kill them, it just zonked them out for a good 6 to 8 hours. These kids were drinking a lot of that crap, but they liked the minty taste of it all.

(By the time they did wake up the next morning, they were very sleepy still, like it stunned them real good!)

Naked-Boy was the hardest one to sell it to, he was so damn stubborn at first. He was all like: Noo-hoo-hoo! Doing what he does best, the art of fake crying and and bouncing off the damn walls like some Asian monkey. Just to get some sort of attention. (When he is not repeating the word: dinosaur or buddy about a billion times in my ear!) But after a few minutes, he was swigging on the stuff like there was no tomorrow.

Whatever was in that stuff, took effect rather quick, like in a ½ hour.

He started to get dizzy, and the other kids who drank the stuff were passing out first before him. At first I felt a bit guilty about it. Then part of me said to myself: These little bastards are going down and I can watch Doctor Who, yeah!

What a night man! The night before of child care was really insane. I mean, it was like a human zoo full of angry animals who were at their wit's end. When one of the kids got really freaking homicidal and pulled out a decent sized kitchen knife on the older sister and tried to slit her wrists. (A 8 year old, mind you who just snapped!) That was a little freaky for me, I think that was another factor that rendered my flashbacks to it's most visual and painful.

Then after the walks home after all of those nut-job nights, what did I do after that? I worked on some more of my serial killer series. It is a collection of the darkest souls who ever lived and died in this world, and I am depicting them in their element. For which, if you are curious, you can see it at http://mickmoart.deviantart.com

That seemed to be the best time to work on those sorts of drawing for me, at my most neurotic and suffering during the darkest parts of night. When I was totally on the brink of insanity when I was coming up with some of my best works of visual madness, after a long night of helping with child care insanity. The best can only get better, at least I think so.

The peace I feel, away from these screaming and hostile kids, is second-to-none. When you see and witness these rampant kids, it is enough to make you sterile for months on end. Some days, it is just easier to break away, where freedom seems a little bit more free and calm. Within a tiny apartment where I have my digital television, art supplies and death/black metal at hand.

Where I don't have to tell a silly damn child: Yes, really! Hannah Montana is just a rich 15-year old slut who got a lucky break, just cause her father is some mainstream suck-ass country star who sings "Achy Breaky Heart" and has connections. And why is her drummer in some damn boxing ring, he can't drum worth a damn! I can drum better then that over-payed bastard, and I don't even have a drumset!

Or if I tell them....

Raven Simone is just a 2-bit whore who got it lucky with Bill Cosby, because she looked adorable then and couldn't act! Okay, maybe an 8-bit skank if she still plays her Atari! LOL!

Anyway: Confinement always can be a plus when you do not have to deal with the screaming Children Of The Corn on a semi-daily basis. Trust me, you don't know the fucking 10 miles till you have walked it in my shoes. I got to these points, where I just could not handle the stress anymore. It was way too much for me and my psychotic disorders.

Fukk it, deal with that, folks! I know what the hell flashbacks really are, a sad reenactment of powerful and bad memories that never seem to end. They put them away for awhile, but they always come back like a bastard uncle. Yeah, that part of it really sucks! The psychosis and the longing....

But there I am, a unique cog to the world.....

Well, another blog of doom for you all....the fact that you did not ask for it, just makes me want to write a bit more here. So embrace your toilet seats of hell, cause it a cometh!

You know, it has been about a year and a half since the Comics Creators Network and the reinvention of a true creator like myself from the let-go. I remember it well, as if it was another flashback of yesterday. Going from the most underrated creator in a small Kansas City group to becoming one of the most talked about cult-creators in the Kansas City area since Jim Mawfood, Richard Corben or whoever got big out of this town. After all of the times that I got endless rejection letters for 10 years, I think I made it in a really big way. But believe me, it was a really long road into the pits of Earthly hell. Yeah, comics have their rewards to me here.

I thought about it a lot today, as of this blog. My support group for comics is better and broader now then it ever was, online. But I had to really walk my own path to get to some sort of greatness. I knew that if I followed the CCN path of wishful thinking, it would have took me to false thoughts and hopes that would have never been fulfilled. I knew it was self-defeating after awhile. But like I say, I took the longer path to being a legend.

At one time, I would have given my right leg for the CCN. Nowadays, it is quite the opposite for me. I listen to more death and black metal then ever before.

I always said before, and it got quoted endlessly on a few websites. I am here to be a kick-ass comic book creator, not a damn boring weatherman! Well over time, that stood up as being the catch phrase I was known for.

I knew that I was kicked out of Comics Creators Network for the lack thereof of justice of a cop who did not support my ideas or viewpoints. Even though, my viewpoints come from so many years of pain, agony and expertise. Stinson was the complete opposite of me, and that is probably a good thing for him. It was even better for me, because I discovered more creative control over what was right.

I suppose the Mark Stinsons and Duane Cunninghams of this world had superficial dreams of comics as well. (At one time...) But apart from my dreams, I had to go that different direction to achieve true greatness. It took a lot of sacrifice for me, a lot of loss and endless years of being put down for my visions. But I did it!

In my heart, I believe these are the same people who still check out my comic efforts in local comic stores....and I realize certain members of the CCN are envious of me, even though they do not admit to it on the surface. Fuck them....I am doing better drawings and writings now then I ever did. Stinson wrote me the derogatory letters a long time ago, and for that, I exceeded him in every way possible. That was the best sort of revenge I could have had, in the long run. While Stinson was going ghost hunting and Duane was being the voice of some weird rollerball club....I WAS STILL DRAWING AND WRITING COMICS!

How on earth can you have a Comics Creators Network and get rid of the one person who had the most expertise then the entire group? I swear, it was some sort of political ousting.

I don't really care if some of those guys do not have respect for me now. Because now, it really has no merit on my talents as a comic book pro. In the end, I did not need them, But I know there will be a treasure or 2 that does come from the CCN. It will be the cream of the crop though who makes it from the idle nobodies, and not these wishful dreams who don't act upon it. I believe it will be the people with true technical ability and good storytelling that will ultimately make it.

See, you tell the standard person you want to do comics out there, and of course most will not understand the terrain of it all. I knew how hard it can be in comics, but I understood it totally. I suppose that made me tougher and gave me more of a know-how of what comic companies wanted. I wanted to be more then a dreamer of comics....I also wanted to be a doer of comics. I wanted to be able to say to anyone: Yeah, they can talk the talk but do they walk the walk? I know I am walking the walk, but it was never an easy path for me at the start! I had something to prove to the world, but more importantly, myself and God.

I figured that life was too short to be with some bunch of ample guys in Kansas City who were talking a lot about when the next meeting would be, but were not really doing it as much as they should have been. My talent would have just gone to waste if I stuck with the CCN! In comics, you almost have to take this metal-headed approach to it, otherwise you will lose. Toughness has a way of sticking it out and surviving. Because then it makes you a leader, rather then a follower. You achieve more that way.

I suppose this is what separates me and the powers-that-be in the obsolete concepts of the CCN. What do they do now? They just go to coffee shops and have overdoses of beer on a drawing or 2, while I lurk behind the scenes and actually commit to drawing and writing! (I never claimed to drink, smoke or do drugs...and I kept sailing to my real goals). I churned out so much for those places that work on getting my stuff into actual comic stores. And it is the formula that works, it is a proven mathematical equation.

Radio Comix and Antarctic Press are extremely hard working, cause it does take a lot in this day and age to keep going with it. (They are both 100 times better then the CCN, in my opinion.)

I look back at it now with the CCN days, and I knew that the Lord and the spirit of my Mom were leading me the rest of the way after that. The rest were just secondary to the goal, if I just stuck with my guns. It was so strong, that I could feel it certain days. In all of the muck and crap, somehow, I got into 25+ comics that are actually in actual comic stores. As far as post-CCN records go....I am up there at the top as far as being published....one comic effort at a time.

Yeah, I know that Mark Stinson and Duane Cunningham were swayed by public interests every month or so. At times they were blaming me for their own mistakes. I knew that it was public interests that divided the CCN, because of a few control freaks at the top of the food chain. If you got to be a decent name in comics, they acted as if you were not with them in some context. It was a very strange thing. No wonder a lot of people left after me in disgust, because they knew the politics of getting rid of a fan favorite like myself. It was stupid, on their counts of it. Stinson got greedy, and this is where he failed.

But I took what I knew and I went to the better support groups of Radio Comix and Antarctic Press. I am sure glad I did. Between both, I made a lot of head-way.

But in the end with the CCN, the formulas were always changed up in inconsistency. And this is why I think the CCN went downhill to a bulletin board full of bland subjects and kiss-ass topics to please the so-called group heads. Because the formulas were never set in stone and they never worked. In the end, they lost their original sides to society and themselves. Yeah, I could see where Duane Kuntingham would get swayed by a crabby girlfriend like Miss Arkando or a Mark Stinson would get swayed by blandness from the outside. Oh well, screw them, I know who my real friends are in this world. They are the ones who keep me going in this day and age.

Where is the CCN now in all of this for me, in retrospect? I think it was a lost concept when they kicked me out and banned me from the forums. But it was happeing with the upheavel before I was turned into some scapegoat with other people. But it didn't matter, because I became bigger then most of them combined. Yeah, I don't like to fuck around when it comes to doing comics. I like to get it done and move onto the next mission. I never really had my heart set on the big 4 in comics, I just knew that I wanted to make comic stories in my own way.

But like Dave Mustaine, even a creative giant had to walk his own way to create and say "fuck you" to the people who let him down, like in Metallica. He got it together somehow, and started Megadeth...and they are still the better and more technical band and still doing great albums to this day. And like him, I had problems with my fingers and tendons as well, but still found ways to harness my technical sides. But I am still doing this comics thing, despite the put downs of the past, mentally and physically.

I know that I am proof that: If I can do it from the lowest points of opinion and post-traumatic stress disorder, then the opinions never mattered to begin with! It was just talking gasps in the polluted air. This is why I can continue on, this is why I do continue on. If I didn't, who would man? I have to leave a legacy of great works in this life.

Good comic book artists and writers are so few and in-between nowadays. Heh, I am not like Mark Stinson who kicked me out of the CCN at one time, just for jealous reasons. I knew the structure of comics and I knew what it took to get really really good. But I can recall when Stinson said at one time: You don't need to be a good so-and-so artist to be with comics. To this day, it still never made any sense to me, because part of comics is the artistic and visual process anyway. A bigger comic book company would not accept you if you half-assed a story? What was Mark Stinson thinking when he said this nonintellectual stuff?

So why they kicked me out, was purely out of the fact that Stinson was pretty much like the Rob Liefeld of comics (even in his drawing style, but I think it is a bit worse then that) and he was in cahoots with a circle of people who wanted my demise then. Some days I did laugh at the arrogance that got rid of me. Other days, I was just really pissed off. (Trust me, I went through all of the emotions of it all too, people know that.)

But instead of it making me worse, it had this backlash effect on Mark Stinson, I was better then ever before in sequential storytelling. Looking at Stinson and some of these other guys from an editorial standpoint, I doubt he would have been in as many comics as I was in, because of the knowledge that I have with it. Some of those guys were just rank amateurs as far as I saw it. They went to their meeting after meeting and discussed all sorts of crap, but it never actually drew the comics when I was!

All and all, I am grateful for it all anyway, because I realized it was all part of my path. You live and learn I suppose. I think, If I didn't come up from the CCN at the time, where would I be now? It was just another part of the comics road for me. It was my comeback to comics, before I went full throttle in some of those dude's ass! Sometimes I think the split from CCN did me that much better anyway, in the long run. Either way, it was really God's will to be drawn away from all of that crap. Anything that is pointless is a broken pencil, as far as I am concerned!

(If you knew how many days I went to that CCN Forum and said to myself: Boring! This forum sucks total ass! You would totally laugh your ass off!)

No matter how many of these superficial people are willing to admit it. I am forever going to be in the chronology of numerous comic efforts like various Furrlough, Genus, Milk, Hit The Beach, Gold Digger Swimsuits, Gold Digger Annuals and upcoming efforts like Genus Male and various Ninja High School books. I am expected to be in my 30^th comic by the end of 2008 and it will just keep going until it can't. But the more I keep going, the more it will embed in some of their minds anyway.

I know I have come a very long way from the mindless rivalries of the CCN after they booted me out, and I am always going to be a better person for it. They kicked me out, not the other way around, and I still kept true to myself no matter what. And for those who win me over, they will get my comic book secrets on how to win at this. I come from the old school ethic of: Produce comics, not more children! Then everything else will weigh itself out. So far, I think that I am living proof of that, the archives of comics in 100 years will remember me.

I only have the future to look forward to. Bigger and better projects during the long roads to being great. Some concepts I would not rather not share here, but just keep a surprise until it is time to reveal it. I still have some time to turn the industry on it's head again, in ways nobody thought possible. But I plan to do it in my own way.

You cannot achieve cult status in comics or any other field if you just simply talk about it. Sometimes it is all a matter of showing your stuff to the right people. But talking into action is what will get you further then the next person, only if you do it right. In the end, it is all about the doing and the right sort of support. It is all about somebody putting trust in your works, even if they do not know what all of it looks like. It is all about endurance from the mockery of these narrow minds of people who say you can't. (Either that, or they just didn't believe in your abilities to begin with).

It is all about meditation and using art as an exercise. Comics are about so many factors, that if you do it right, then you can use that to become great. This is one of the reasons I do it folks. Because honestly, I don't want to be another wannabe. I am fighting the bigger fight here to be true.

I want people to look at my art and comic stuff and say: That is a Mickmo piece! That is is really.

Thank you for letting me share this, onto more stuffings, turkey boy!

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What the fuck is really wrong with Barney the Dinosaur, anyway? You know, I was watching that shit the other day, and it was so damn weird, because he was doing this thing on foreign countries. Heh, and there I was, sitting there watching the purple insanity unfold before me. It sucked me in, dammit!

Barney was all there, talking about the Germans at one point. And then after he was telling those crappy brat kids to do this sing-along. I realized one thing about Barney: Barney is a Nazi Whorebag!

You know I ain't lying man! Because who else but the Third Reich would tell children to sing crappy-ass Barney songs anyway? Yes, only Barney would get away with this stuff. Just spraypaint a swastika to his belly, cause he is a bastard.

(Yeah, it would not surprise me if Barney was in charge of some concentration camps of boring camp-outs! LOL!)

It was like Barney was in this distant fantasy land, with these underage kids, just touching them at times. It was fucking creepy, and the kids were smiling and laughing at it! (Yeah, how do I know that Michael Jackson is not under that purple skin, anyway?) And in the background, it showed these old people walking around and toting boxes and crap. Like they looked deprived of food for a month as they were assembling German tanks and missiles. Of course one old guy was Jewish and some other lady was apparently Spanish. Right there, that told me something peculiar!

All those anti-semitic images in a children's show, what the hell did you expect me to do about it? Barney is an evil prick anyway!

But those kids were not doing nothing but hanging out with the Purple Pedophile in these world booths! LOL! Singing the crappiest songs of all time about North Korea and who knows what else. Then if that was not bad enough, Barney went to insult my intelligence and say that the Italians invented pizza? Huh?

Man, I thought they really invented pizza in China? That is what the Food Network said at one time. Barney is such a fucking screw-up of misinformation anyway, like I ever listen to anything the fat bastard said to me anymore! Barney don't even have a GED, dammit, to speak of! Not even a 6^th grade education. Just a stupid annoying presence on my television and some child porn on his internet. So yeah, why is he going to babble on about crap like a moron?

I think I just have this secret desire to beat the crap out of Barney the purple dinosaur for about a week. Like get up the next day and just hammer him with a pointed stick or something. That mesozoic asshole never gave me any money at all from public television programming anyway.

Not just that, but I would like to take some lighter fluid to his body and just torch the shit out of him. I can just see it now: I love you, you love me....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! MY HALF-INCH PENIS IS ON FIRE! AAAAAARGH! HELP ME KIDS! Oh crap, who am I really kidding....Barney is flat in the pants area anyway! You know that already, he has no schlonger!

I think the way they can make Barney more entertaining is to just have him porn Megan Fox for an hour. Damn, it is public television, so it is not as if they will get away with much if they do show some nudity! (They show those Africans in the bush who are topless, don't they?)

Megan Fox is a totally hot snobby lady and would have a chance with Barney's purple flatness anyway. Like it could almost be considered lesbian-androgyny erotica, but without the lesbians! You know what I mean, like some sort of friction thing for my adult rental entertainment to waste my time! LOL!

Oh well, as least I know for certain that the Teletubbies are up for porn. They have to be! I mean, look at those extra appendages on top of their heads. (Though, one has one that looks like a penis, I am not kidding! LOL!).

I watch way too much public television anyway, damn you! Moving on....

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Speaking of things from my past. I never told anybody about this till now. When I was in college, I had a friend of mine, at the time, she invited me to this public access channel on the Time Warner network. It was probably one of the first times that I ever recall encountering an acclaimed psychic. And it sort of stuck with me ever since really. (Cause, hey, it was free because of the commercial breaks!)

I recall walking in somewhat of a skeptic that night that were was a live taping. Not knowing if I would be ripped off or not or it would be a waste of time to go on a show called Mindprobe. But it ended up being one of those experiences for me that I carry on with a lot of wisdom.

I look back on it, and everything was so exact in this guy's predictions, it was almost scary but thrilling at the same time. It was just really strange for me, thinking back. They guy told me at the humble age of 22 that I would be this really famed comic book artist during my early 30s and that I had some psychic ability that was emerging in my mid 20s.

Back then, people tell you these things, and then your like: Yeah he must have been making it all up. But then time passes and things happen in your life, for good or for bad, they are scripted in time. But as far as things like that go, It was a pretty accurate chapter into my life now.

He must have told me a few times over during the course of a few sessions at Mindprobe: Yes Mickmo, you will be huge in comics! You will redefine comics in your own way. He told me at a time when I was just going to college in my second or third semesters, when I was just entering art college. He had this look like he could not believe what he saw in his visions and asked for my autograph at the time and a sketch. And would you know it, here I am talking about, it many years later.

Sometimes it is just extraordinary things like that that just blow your mind. Because I am by no means rich in comics, other then the grateful experiences I cherish from all of that. The guy told me I would not be rich, but it would be totally rewarding in it's own way. He was right. I always believes that being rich is more of a concept at times then just the measure of money. Here I am bros, talking about it!

I also recall having this dream that told me in remarkable accuracy that I would move out to a good apartment during the first snowfall and that I would have a cat. The dream was so vivid, I knew it was the right thing telling me at the time. It was a turning point for me, because at the very first snowfall in a freak November snow season, I was packing boxes and I moved out that very day.

Bandit came much later then that, about 4 months later when my friend, Mary brought him to me. He was an older cat and he has been my friend ever since. The tragedy of losing 3 cats was great for me. But Bandit is like a combination of all of the cats I had before. He is the only true friend I have in the feline world right now.

I am glad Mary got this cat for me, otherwise, he would have been dead somewhere. But the parallels are totally there. Bandit went through a lot but I went through similar stuff. That is where we connect. Bandit is a cool cat, he is pretty good to me.

I am so thankful for those little things that were right in my life. That I realize that anything can be temporary. Your life is scripted ahead of time, but sometimes you have to live it out under the banner of a perfect plan.

But hopefully my molecules will just go on forever in a field of light and joy.

Somehow, I believe it will! Somehow man....

:)

Yeah, here we are again, on the coveted blog of threesomes and pseudo-sexual lore. Yes, this is the part of the blog where you light the lights down and play that silky love music from the 70s. Oh shit, who am I kidding? It it just me rambling on again on the internets again! LOL!

Well, I had some thing really funny happen to me the other day. On one of my little excursions to a distant internet to the library leading to my amusement.

Sometimes I get on messenger to see who gets on, cause even one like me gets a bit alone every now and again.

And then I realized, that the official cardinal rule of any messenger is this: For every 1 person you think your taking too, there is at least 2 others who may have that account! Yeah, you know who I am talking about, another word for this is known as.....

JBS: AKA Jealous Boyfriend Syndrome!

(...or jealous girfriend syndrome, reversed if you swing that way!)

Yes, I encountered this phenomenon the other day, as a matter of fact. There I was, surfing the shark infested hells of the internets like I sometimes do at times. All of the sudden, there it was before me, a person on the messenger I had not seen in ages, being somebody that it was not?

At first, it seems like I was actually taking to a lady I had not seen in months. I started in with the usual: Yes, the PTSD is getting better, things are leveling out again, so on and so on....

Then the crap all hit the fan when I offered an online hug! Not a real physical hug mind you, no dude, a virtual hug that was harmless to the all seeing eye of Mickmo!

So here is where I am gathering at here. The girl that had an account there, she was actually a he. He as in: Yes, I am the jealous boyfriend that is luring around her account again in the background!

Then the convo went something to the effect like this.....

(Trust me, you will laugh your balls off when you read on with the rest!)

Jealousy Man: (Posing as the girlfriend) What is PTSD?

Mickmo: post-traumatic stress disorder!

Jealousy Man: Oh?

Mickmo: Yes, you know they upped my meds a week or so ago?

Jealousy Man: They did?

Mickmo: Yeah, I am more stuff to calm me down....

Mickmo: >>hugs<<

Jealousy Man: (snapping out of the blue cause he is an idiot) don't touch my girlfriend you bitch!

Mickmo: LOL, is this the famous gus?

Jealousy Man: yup

Jealousy Man: stay away from my woman!

Mickmo: dude, just relax already, i live in missouri...i never even been to pittsburgh

Mickmo: and I barely get out of the house

Mickmo: your so damn paranoid over nothing! What is wrong with you?

Jealousy Man: screw you!

Mickmo: how can i dude, i am not even remotely a bi-dude? I live states away here! LOL!

Jealousy Man: I will fuck you up if i ever see you!

Mickmo: oh yeah? How are you going to do that?

Mickmo: Why bother going to the effort? Your 5 states away and you have no idea where i live....dumbass!

Jealousy Man: >>logged off at so-and-so time abruptly cause he is an ass...<<

Hah, people are so stupid in the world at times to the silliest crap! I mean first off, this guy was not following the proper messenger etiquette. To switch his girlfriend in with himself at that time? Shame on him, he sucks penis in hell!

Second, how the hell is a young dude going to compare an online hug to full-blown infidelity? LOL, what an possessive asshole! That right there tells me he is heading for a demise in the relationship.

Yeah, I can just hear it now when he or she left: Stay away from my girlfriend Mickmo.....online hugs are clearly infidelity! Online kisses....that means that is the sex and you are evil spawn!

God in heaven, where the hell do these dudes come from? They are always out there, sometimes lurking behind the scenes. I knew this girl even before this idiot joke of male flesh stepped into the picture in the first place. Like I said before, if they already got the trophy-girl, they get into some weird defense mode about it. All of the sudden, something in these kiddies-wusses gets overly paranoid of pretty much everything.

Trust me, if my penis was some sort of fire hose, that would get me tons of chicks anyway, man! I would not even ask for the latter. But it isn't, unfortunately, so I suppose I just have to live with my 3 damn inches of a squirt gun! LOL! But at least I can admit to my happiness. :)

Usually these kids who get jealous in the first place. Seems like they are either in high school or their first year in a college that mommy or daddy payed for. They got the cellphones and laptop computers, and are spoiled to oblivion. And then, once they get a sexy lady at that point and time, they just have to latch on! And then they are not with the girl forever anyway so what is the point? Do you know what I mean here? Like she is so sexy anyway, time goes on and a girl can swing from one extreme or another over the course of one life in a bipolar sexfest.

Like the girl (in this instance) is so hot anyway and flashing her boobs like it was some stop-and-go signal, of course she is going to have some affair somewhere down the line with somebody else. Some of these little girls even get knocked-up before hitting the age of 21. Like girls will say anything to a jealous boyfriend to make it look like some sort of candy-cane fantasy?

Either that, or there is some separation of the guy and girl. In a break up or a divorce. Then the girl moves in with their parents and bulks on 50 to 100 pounds! (Yeah, that happened to me as well! But I slendered up at the time.)

(So much for online hugs and the Mickmo, huh?)

See, some women can sometimes be the most vengeance-ridden creatures on the planet, if they know they can get away with it! If they got the looks and strategy set right, they can get anything they want. Riches, rings, nice cars, houses...trust me, I seen it more then you care to know. Most of those cookie-cutter boyfriends they get, they are basically pets to them anyway in the long run.

I am not saying all girls here, just the stuck up bitch-asses that have it all in the devious plans and they know they can get away with it. Yeah, like this one girl I had been talking about: Rogue from somewhere in Pittsburgh's Xavier Academy. She used to be a pretty nice lady. But I swear, as soon as she went out with this dude, she turned into a total ass and deleted/blocked my profile. Oh well, she is already getting her suck-on to the long road to pregnancy, so what can I really do about it?

If Rogue wants the Beast or Gambit, then dammit-shizzle if I want to get in the way of that crap? Go ahead, have some mutant children with three arms, see if I care!

And who in their right damn mind goes out with a guy name Gus anyway? Trust me, if that is your name, it is clearly time to pay the 250+ dollars to get a fucking name change, cause that name indicated shades of down's syndrome. Heh, every time I think of that name Gus, I now think of that goofy-ass black dude from the AT&T commercial. The one that makes the train go faster from a lever.

See, once a dude gets a trophy-girlfriend or wife. If they are possessive and controlling enough, they latch on as long as they can to it. I should know that first hand....I made that mistake myself early one, like so many of these naive high school and college kids. But it is different now.

And there are plenty of hottie girls out there anyway, but few are the sacred treasure that these dudes may claim. Even if you know certain aspects of them and stuff. The women are in the malls, the stores, on your television, living several towns away from you. I mean, it is so abundant now with the population growth, something I think certain girls are a dime-a-dozen! Beneath the boob jobs and the shape is a girl who is just totally evil. The good looks can nullify it. The beauty can be a shell of darkness and descent.

It is society in this day in age, it is 3 times more people on the planet then there was in the 70s. So yeah, that means there is more sluts and sleep-arounds in the world now! Imagine that!

But like I say, when a dude like that gets totally possessive. He does latch on as long as he can! I seen it so many times, it gets fucking ridiculous! I remember talking to a really hot girl in Myspace, she seemed really nice until you actually seen these pic comments of this really jealous boyfriend. Her name was Alexia or something to that effect. I mean, the nasty verbage was almost in every single one of her profile pics, just horrendous stuff to these other dudes with these sideways rapper hats.

(Then again, rapper posers are pretty much a dime-a-dozen as well. Rap is a bowful of suck, as you will see later on!)

I know the fake girls after time and tide, they hold back information from me to begin with. After awhile, I just know. Women, if they really have a dude, they sure as fuck will not tell me at first. They never say a damn thing about it in the beginning. Nor do they make it a known fact, till after the fact. They always hold back till the inevitable uproar. Like the girl gets into this: Lets sick the boyfriend onto him, cause he is my dog!

There really is no such thing as monogamy in this day and age, not in the course of one lifetime. Not if your young and approachable, but then some turn around and act like a total bitch in the end.

A girl who has someone, they usually have a decorated cellphone or some designer purse. That is a sign a girl has a dude. And yeah, I do my best not to get near these girls in public places.

Some of these young girls, they find me ugly cause I am not rich or have some slight pot-belly. But this is who I am to the eyes of the beholder. I don't live up to the standard ideals of a woman's fantasy. I really don't, cause they want Johnny Depp and I just happen to be Drew Carey. Plus, these naïve and artificial designer girls don't want some guy like me with a pot-belly and post-traumatic stress disorder anyway! I already know that.

Yeah, as you can understand, the jealosy of these shallow yuppie girlie-boys has come my way more then once to unleash some mild testosterone curse or 2 to me. I suppose this is the price you pay for being a really good visual artist. But this is where my intelligence lies.

But yeah, there are women are a pure enigma to me anyway. The jealous puppy-boyfriends are even more so at times. I just do not get a good relationship in this day and age, I don't think the exist, even in my mind. It is probably a rare thing. I think it can be a bonding union for some estate.

Trust me here, I will probably be single till my dying day now. And that is probably not far off for me. If I ever met the right one, it would totally catch me off guard. I don't need any JBS....or any jealously factor from anybody for that matter...but I should just apt for pizza rolls! At least they can never curse me a river of a dude's shallow forthcoming of diapers and bankrupsy hell.

And as far as that Rogue from Pittsburgh goes, if she gets knocked up or abused from this guy she is with. I hope, god willing, she gets the right help and gets her fucking head straight! But if she comes crying and whining to me over it somehow. All I can say is: See, I told you so! But you never listened to me, cause your a stupid fool with all looks and no brains.

And then of course, I can get upset and break some glass just to calm me down. The I can have those pizza rolls afterwords cause I am hungry! Weehoo cowboy!

:)

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So yeah, I am sharing a story here. Another short excerpt into my feeble life....

As people may know, I tend to use internet connections outside from where I live. Cause I simply do not have personal internet as a luxury anymore. There are some days when I find myself in the merry land of Blue Springs. Usually after a decent therapy visit, I try to use the Blue Springs library computers in town.

(They tend to give you a little more time there, then over a town away, from where I am...I love those libraries over there and the people there are a lot nicer about internet time.)

So, I found myself using the computer for a good 3 hours that day. Soaking up so much information and useful tidbits of graphic art and whatever else was available online. (Plus the helpful hand of endless array of bootleg MP3s! Horray!)

I do my session of the internet that day at the Mid-Continent Public Library: Blue Springs North like I do at times. Then walks some skinny black dude that I had seen before on occasion, and he just panics out of the blue as he says these very words to me as I was walking out of the library.....

What yoy lookin' at!? What you lookin' at!?

Then I say, out is intellegent banter....

What am I looking at? I suppose whatever is in front of me at that point and time! I suppose that is just clear logic, dude!

Then he says again, like he was in the mood for more of the stupid-ass jive-slang....

What you lookin' at?

Then I say something witty and offsetting at the time....

Are you paranoid or something, to yell at me like this? Are you prejudice?

Then the mother walks in behind this weird excuse for a son....

No, he is not prejudice....

Heh, Then I could hear the mother walk to his son to say: What is wrong with you, son! Why are you yelling at that guy out of the blue for?

LOL!, sometimes this is all of the social interaction I get certain days while I am out in the public. An angry brother out of the blue who yells at me about looking at him. Even after I went to my therapist that day, some angry brother yells at me for seeing him in some public place.

Yeah, sometimes I often wonder why I have these sorts of conversations with the ignorance of society. Sometimes they come out of nowhere just to plague me.

Who knows how dangerous this guy really was? Probably not as much as he lead on at the time. Personally, I just think the dude was both paranoid and sub-cultured to a point to where he wanted to act somewhat like a dumb-ass rapper. He had those baggy pants on and one of those rapper-type jackets on. No retarded sideways hat or any kind of gold chains or teeth to speak of. Knowing my luck, he left the corny hat at home that day.

But I could clearly remember that this guy was probably one of the uneducated and confused ones. He might have a kid, but I didn't even know the dude. So I was pretty unclear of that, at the time.

Rap music tends to appeal to the misguided and the younger people who have no real artistic or musical talents in society. The morons and the idiots who have no educational background. The ones that have kids at an early age. Rap has no redeeming identity like metal, classic rock, punk or alternative would have. Rap is not really an art form at all, just a bunch of stupid lyrics and that same stagnant beat with a obnoxious bass overlay. I hate rap, I think it sucks ass like many other people!

Most people who are reading this, with some form of good culture behind them, would agree with me. Even I know that the sole reason they made rap was this: It started out as a silly joke and then it became an enterprise for the less intelligent of our society who cuss in every other word!

But yeah, back to my black dude story in the library. As I was driving home, I was just quoting this guy and laughing for about 30 minutes. Cause I thought he was silly and stupid-ass like a rapper!

What you lookin' at sucka?

Those type who try to act like they just stepped out of the Jeffersons, Good Times or What's Happening! Do you know what I am saying? I don't even think that is a stereotype, that is just the way some of these people really act and live. Like there is no real identity there, other then the identity they try to imitate subconsciously in rap music.

My stupid-ass apartment neighbors are like that too. Stupid people who can't even hold straight conversation in regular English or raise their kids right. So what do they do to compensate for unoriginality and the general boredum? They talk stupid and they like to be obnoxiously loud when the managers are gone. Almost like in that primitive rappers dialect with every other word as a cuss word. Then they go cranking their stereo with that same stupid rap while they have objectionable sing-alongs and smoke their life away in the hallways. All the while, that same part of decibles is shaking my walls at certain nights, in a complete migraine.

Like damn! How the hell are you going to screw up living in a government subsidised place by cranking that monotonous rap crap, anyway?

Lets face it, I am really unimpressed with rap music. It is a stupid form of subculture to me. It lacks the vivid imagination that I would hear in an Immortal, Samael or Emperor song. Hell, when I was doing music for a brief time to expand my creativity with Nemesis Star. I thought I was really onto something unique, doing moody compositions on my own in an ambient vein.

But no matter what I did creatively, it was still in better quality then any rap song out there. And I have to tell you, that is the honest truth. To cal rap an artform is the same as saying: Yes, I like to take baths in dumpsters and roll around in the maggot filth that is my soap!

And you really think about it here, how pathetic that really is, the entire thing with rap music! This is why I say: Thank goodness for the more imaginative death and black metal at my fingertips!

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Speaking of creative output in a wasted society. As I said in previous blogs before hand. When I was in comics, I had people who were just outstanding when it came to understanding production and creative freedom in comics. That was the entire reason I got into comics to begin with, but it all began with the last words that my mom ever spoke to me before she passed on. (Do good in school and keep working on your art.) Yeah, for me it was just important to make less or no money and to be totally creative in comics, then the other way around. I just wanted some happiness with comics. Some people want to be the next Frank Miller or Jim Lee, and I could still care less about that, cause I never wanted to be.

I wanted to be a unique contribution to the process of comics, both drawing and writing them on my own without any outside factors who would not see the visions the same way I did. This is why, I get along with certain editors much more then others. I do admit to that.

There are plenty of grunt workers in comics out there, the comics industry is like that too. Some are good, bad and just plain wierd! You meet all sorts of people from the entire spectrum of doing comics. Each of them have different motives for doing it or being part of the comics industry. Some got in by accident, others had a clear drive for their creations, right down to the hand-stapling.

But for me, it was always to have a decent part of creative control over my works. I wanted to step back and have some sort of legacy to what I was involved with. To be well rounded and to show that a true underdog can have some success in this thing. I already knew I created the stuff from the pits of true imagination anyway, once it is out there, then you try to move onto the next thing. You have to get better and evolve, but if you can do it on your own terms, than that is even better. Sometimes it is almost a calculated risk, but it can be worth it once you cross greener pastures.

But yes, leading onto my story here. I suppose there was a few lesser-known comic writers in Image who still have no idea how to treat or respect that entire production process. At lease I thought so. I had met a few, talked to a few, even went to the same schools as a few! But in the end, it was all the same thing. Diss the independent comics guy called Mickmo when he gets to be a comix god!

Here is an instance of what I mean....

I remember sitting at an old show with the Comics Creators Network in/around 2004. And sitting there with this old writer for Image, who just happened to write one comic book for Image! That was it! And I can remember when he was sitting there talking about how he write this comic called: Image Presents - The Believer. Now, he got a decent deal with Image. So that is good and well, so I don't knock that part of it.

He was a guy I kew from the early days of the comic scene. Needless to say, we did not always get along. It was probably because he percieved the world differently and had good parenting. But it was sort of like sibling rivalry. You know? He just had a lucky break and took off with it.

I remember: all of these people were at this writer's feet for advice, just because he published that one book under the big "I". And I just never got it really. All of the bragging and stuff on one project, when I didn't believe it would endure beyond that. The book was not bad at all, as terms of production, but that was it. I remember, he said it was the worst selling comic in Image Comics history. But at least those key issues were out there.

That was the same way I felt about another particular Image book. I won't say what it was, but the particular writer has entirely no concept of what a creative artist goes through, the hard rigors of cranking out page by page and making it look right. Like it is one-sided in any way you tend to bring it up with them. But yes, it was a great book, but I clearly give the majority of the credit on those books to both the publisher and the artist. That was very much the strength of this series.

This lady that used to be with Image, she has gotten so used to just writing a comic book and being a primadonna about it, that it got to this point where she didn't see outside the box of it. I got into some wordy fights and I still don't think it really did the trick in the long run. After awile, I think it taints these people to a point where they become stuck up and ignorant about the entire creative process. Then it leads their minds into dark and repressive places after they try to forget about you.

Trust me, Blondie probably never drew a damn page in her life. Anybody can write a half-decent script, if you can write. But yet, she insisted on doing comparison with every single piece she looked at, as if she did draw. It was almost pointless after awhile to get with this company, because I felt as if it was a lost cause. I admit, I got sick and tired of it after awhile. I was all like: Why the fuck is this girl telling me left and right about comic panels if she clearly never drew a damn day in her damn life? Yeah, it don't make a lot of sense to me either. Just shut up and let me create the thing already!!!!

It just felt like being stood up after awhile. No matter what I tried to do, I knew I was in for rejection.

If it is all about production, and I try to have a decent track record as to being with comics, then why not take a chance on me? Why not just have some faith in my abilities and go for it? I know what I am doing with it. Put some trust in my stuff and let me do what I can do best.

Oh yeah, I don't want to overlook the sheer fact that some of these people are apt to sleep around to get an comic book deal. I think some of them do, not based off of pure talent, but the fact that they look nice and they have a lot of followers after that because of charisma. Yeah, it sort of defeats the purpose I think.

They have their spotlight in the sun for awhile in Image, with the premier comic shows and comic deals. The Rob Believer-heads and all of them other people who played devil's advocate in the past. The Steve 5-Fistacuffs who continue to overlook me, even though, I recall complementing them in college for these amazing works in the past. But in the end, some other commodity in Image Comics rears it's head over the old. Only to have these former creators be left over and forgotten for some new thing. I seen it, it always happens. The elite sometimes just stay elite.

Even in the revolting and kiss-ass Image Comics forums. Where I really had to spell it out on certain days as to how I was treated with them, but of course they would ignore it. Then I have this feeling that I just got the cold sholder, because they consider me independent. It all gets back to that stuck-up thing with some people in Image, but not all of them....just the select few who decide to be. Oh well, fuck them too if they don't want me! I will just go my own way. Walk my own path and stay true to my visions.

Now, like I said, I have more respect for writers who understand the artistic process. But when they don't, I can usually see that as well. Then I get angry for the ignorance, because this is usually the game they try to play with you. Thank goodness for the honest ones out there. The publishers who have my back are usually the ones I tend to stick with. With good reason.

But on the flipside of this mainstream battle: I will probably always have a respect for Radio Comix and Antarctic Press. I believe these places that I did some stuff for, they respect the entire creative and production process. They were some of the first to discover my stuff, so I owe a lot to both of them. The balance is right for me, with both. And in turn, I give respect back in that way. Because I really do know how hard comics can be at times, and both are so hard working, that production is just second nature. But they stuck with me, so I am so very thankful.

But yeah, some days it can be really overbearing, if you tell people that your a comic creator, some respect you while others could care less. This age is just different for comics now, because we are far and away from this thing called the Golden Age. This is why I say to people: Break in any way you can but they like to see the entire package, in the end!

I just do my best to continue on, even if it entails me to walk 4 to 7 miles for art supplies. Some days, I did that, just to keep the creative factors alive. True art is in my soul and my body, whether it is a payed gig or not. My love is in art. Art is that document of my life that will endure beyond me. I know that if I keep doing this, then eveything will fall into place. That is my motive, that will be my legacy.

If people realised that, I bet more publishers and editors on the outside would be looking at me with a better intent. They would say: This Mickmo, he really works his ass off! It all gets to this factor for me: If I help you, then you help me. Then everyone can be happy in this!

Simple and to the point. I suppose this is what keeps me going. Even through the peaks and the valleys of doing comics. Somehow, I still find a way to keep going, sometimes just off of desire and love alone. It all works out. The support is the balance here.

Yes, and if I can ask you of any favors here, please check out my Deviant Art site....

http://mickmoart.deviantart.com

I am adding pieces whenever I can! But my best advice for anyone breaking into comics is this....

Keep going, keep submitting, keep a doing some more and KEEP TRUE TO YOURSELF!

Thank you so very much for letting me pass on my little stories here! It means a lot to me. :)

Well, here we are, my latest blog.....since.....well, the last one! Yes, I hope your sitting on your toilets in the firm and upright positions with those laptops, this should be a good one!

Yeah, I sort of get sick of the runabout of who I should vote for and who I should not vote for in a presidential candidacy. And a lot of times, I really do not care either! Personally, I would just rather stay at home and rot!

Yeah, people tell me: Mickmo, are you crazy? Those are the issues man...THE ISSUES! Yeah, I got some some smutty magazines underneath my bedside, those are the only issues I really need! LOL!

No, I don’t think I am totally biased when it comes to this election or any other. Personally, I think that voting is a lot like selecting a drive-thru meal from Burger King, Hardees or McDonalds. Yes, sure, it can be a quick fix for awhile to fill you up and one food chain may be better then the other. But then, after awhile, it makes you sick and you regret on ever going to the place for cheap food!

Yeah, I think that is equal comparison to compare presidential candidates to fast food! And why not? They give you extra condiments that you never wanted anyway, but they are there, whether you asked for them or not! But they are so much alike, that you find yourself going to Wal-Mart armed with food stamps later on! LOL!

See, I think that the votes that you cast now, they don’t mean crap later on down the road. It makes total sense to me. Look at all of those supporters who backed George Dubya back then. (The resident monkey puppet of the White House!). I mean, you look at how bad Bush really fucked up the economy and everything else in this world of ours during the past 7 or so years. How he basically lied about the government cover-up of 9/11 and everything else he is trying his best to cover up with.

Is it any wonder why I do not really want to vote for anyone? The selections are usually bad anyway, they give you so few to choose from! Then what is really the point of that?

It is like this, when they voted for George Dubya. You also got in that deal, Dick Cheney, along with that other stuff! It was like a combo-pack Happy-Ass Meal that you did not want from the fast food joint to begin with. But it was the only thing they had, cause the damn truck was stuck in traffic for beef patties! And Cheney is basically the one in the corner who is advising Bush what to do. All of the while, Bush has his finger on the button, screwing up our economy every day, he is not really helping with people in New Orleans, putting a housing crisis over people’s heads and sending troops to some war in Iraq that is much the same as Vietnam. Bush is just a puppet of the committee, but very much a part of the overall corruption.

And yet, these people who Bush tag-teamed with really messed up this economy, in the US and abroad! It is nuts!

Then of course, there is all of these kiss-ass media networks who play it up to "Act like we love George Bush Junior!" like NBC and even CNN. Man, please! No wonder CCN Stands for Crappy National Nonsense! LOL!

You never win by voting because your really just 1 person in the fields of millions of faces and minds. Your just another number in some jurasdiction out there, as far as they are concerned. See, I don’t care what nationality, race or gender you might claim to be here. In the end, it is all the same.

Then if that is not bad enough, nowadays you have the recounts and miscounts in certain states of the votes. So how do you know some person is not really slipping in an extra vote somewhere?

Then to make it worse, the ones that really decide the votes are these hidden super-delegates and these electoral colleges that can sway any vote they damn well please.

Then to top it off....those damn candidate lawyers who try to swoon money to rig the votes! Yeah, voting don’t make any sense to me, and I really don’t care how many times they try to pound it into my head that I am from America and it is some institutional right of the people. What it was 100 years back is not the same as it is now. In the end, it just does not matter anyway, when you really start to sit down and really think about it!

When you weigh in all of the factors, the democracy turns into some sort of enterprise of the system.

Think about it, it will probably be the most perplexing and curious elections we have ever had in a very long time anyway. Cause all of the candidates are so different anyway. It almost breaks down like this....

1. Barack (The Cock Rock) Obama: Yeah, if he gets in. He will be the first self-admitting brother we ever had for a president. But the thing is this, some black people still will not vote for him, cause they say he is too white! Which is strange anyway. Cause I thought I was the pale horse in the world? He has the Oprah Curve behind him anyway, so there is a good chance he will get in anyway from default? But come on now. I had seen black people already and Barack is not even that! He looks slightly tan, which don’t exactly make him all-of-the-way black. If and when he gets in, the White House will surely turn into The Black House! Yeehaa! Divided we fall, my brothers! (As Pierre Bernard’s Recliner Of Rage would say...). And what is up with this mans ears, anyway? It is as if Barack had his ears genetically engineered at birth to pick up ultra-frequency waves from the other running mates who talk bad about him? Ha ha, you met your match, Ross Perot!

2. Hillary (The Swank Butch Woman) Clinton: Now this one cracks me up. She decides one day: Okay, let me put out a slanderous commercial about how the first lady of Bill Clinton should run for president! Then it turns out, the girl in that commercial just happens to be a Obama supporter! LOL! I have to tell you, when I heard about that, I was laughing on my own puke about how silly that was. Yeah, I know, if she becomes the first woman in the White House...it will still be a first in US history. A powerful wife of a former president will be there and you know what this means? More of that damn Chelsea Clinton to bombard us like a plague and more of that gender reversal crap with Slick Willie, again! Yikes!

3. John (Insane In His Brain) McCain: A really old fart who has this primitive war-like mentality, cause he was basically in bed with a lot of the Republicans to press the red button of death in a case of war for decades. He is just really old, older then some trees in Yellowstone Park! I mean, the guy must be ancient, like the relics of Stonehenge or some crap! Clearly, the guy has some form of post-traumatic stress disorder from all of those years of serving this country. That is why he is so paranoid and crap, wanting to press the button! Yeah, I really don’t want this dude in the White House either. Because by the time he gets there, he might very well have some sort of cardiac arrest from a cheese sandwich!

Yeah, I guess I get sick of all of the mud-slinging and the barrage of insults at endless debates. You know what I am saying? This crap that gets on my airwaves just to interrupt my night of watching Biggest Loser or some other worthwhile show! I mean, come on now, these people that are running now, they literally spend millions on trying to get elected. Where do you think they get that money from? Rich people of course, but also, lobbyists and celebrities who keep them out on the road in some sort of popularity contest.

That was just like when I was in high school in these pep rallys, and there would be these people who would be like: Vote for me cause I am smart, good-looking and have a sexy girl ass! And of course, she would end up on student council cause she was ultra-hot and had that extravagant 80s hair that stood over the top.

See, this is when I change the channel on these crazy and dumb people who want to get elected to office. George Dubya especially, he has to be the worst of the bunch! He has not had a damn good idea since the mesozoic era, so why does he want to insist he has any novel ideas at this point? He has already fucked up everything to the 10^th degree anyway! LOL!

I think If I ever get forced to vote one of these days! I think I will just make a write-up vote up somehow for a fictional character. So here is my idea! I think it is a good one that will suit everybody in congress!

Vote for a Star Wars character like Yoda! He has more wisdom then anyone in real life!

Yeah, even in spirit form, I think Yoda would do a much better job in the Ovum Office then anyone we got now! He would give us better advice like: The force is like 2, you have! Your crappy economy will get better, it will! Pissed off at the government, you must admit! Hrmmm?

Mace Windu can be vice president, dammit! Then that would be the dream team.

I would so vote for a governor from the Dagobah system, any day of the damn week! Yoda would be the perfect president!

People would truly be happy and Jedis would raise their light sabers like it was a victorious dildo of encouragement! Cause let’s face it, Yoda makes more sense then any Democrat or Republican!

Like if Yoda was running up against Jabba The Hutt. Jabba being the evil dictator and Yoda is the wise one, trust me, it would be a landslide of epic proportions....

I would totally vote for Yoda, cause he would just kick ass anyway as a US presidential candidate! Fuck the rest of those people running now, no, I want someone in the Ovary Office who can kick ass and who has ample amount of midicholrians that are almost equal to Darth Vader!

Heh, and people wonder why I never really want to vote. I got my priorities straight, dammit! You know I ain’t lying about that crap!

And see, some still wonder why I don’t even bother to vote anymore? Voting is for the sheep who try to follow the heard. Voting is an utter waste of time, even for a post-traumatic stress disorder survivor like me. Seems like, if you vote, these people still manage to mess things up from the inside. They don’t care about the small man in this world. So hell yeah, I think it is pointless to vote.

See, this is why I usually just stay home and just pop in some good quality thing like Star Wars, Dark Shadows or Classic Doctor Who! But see, I can’t do a write-up vote for David Tennant for president, dammit! The guy is British/Scottish!

(Prime Minister Tenth Doctor Who? Now there is a great idea waiting to pop! But yeah, I think he should be voted for in parliament at least, if the people in the UK are reading this! Hah!)

But yes, if you have to vote, just aim for any fictional character from any sci-fi adventure or any classic novel. That is what I would do! Vote for Captain Jack Sparrow or even Captain Jack Hartness, I don’t really give a damn anymore....

Then again, what the fuck do I really know here? I am not remotely into corrupt politics! LOL!

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Speaking of the apparent congressional fuck-ups that I keep seeing on the news in repeats. Well, everyone knows who Elliot Spitzer is by now? That New York governor who said he had this affair with a hot lady call girl?

You may as well put him in Jessica Hawn and Jim Bakker territory, at this point of the game!

When I saw him on the television, he looked like the most guilt-ridden dude I had ever seen in a long time! His wife was all pissed off and crap, cause of all of that scandal stuff.

Personally, I think that Elliot Spitzer has good taste in women! LOL! I just think the sordid media was ragging on him a little too much about it, really. They were jealous that he got a piece of good ass! Of course, this is what the media does anyway, they like to take something small, blow it up and twist it out of proportion.

When I saw pics of that girl he had an encounter with, she was just so totally hot anyway! (And yes, I heard she was in Myspace with some private profile! Yeah buddy!)

A really attractive escort who just happened to get her way into the spotlight, because of the angry wife and even more angry children! Just let the girl be a pop singer and nudist enthusiast already! LOL!

When Bill Clinton was in office. Trust me, Monica Lewinski was not nearly as close to hot as this one girl who Elliot Spitzer was with. When I first saw those pics of that one girl, I was like: Wow, why can’t I ever get lucky with some girl like that? This girl named Ashley Dupree, man, she looked way hotter then Princess Leia in a swanky Skiff bikini on the Sail Barge and sitting by annoying Salacious Crumb! (Yes, I know, yet another stupid reference to Return Of The Jedi! I can’t help myself!)

Yeah, Spitzer felt bad about it afterwards and is laying low from much of the media. Which is probably a good idea. I would be as well if I had some of that action! LOL!

But here is where the story gets really juicy, so I hope you got your oranges ready at the helm!

Alright! When Spitzer resigned, they had this black blind guy take his place, David Patterson. People were cheering him on in press conferences early on, even though he could not see what he was doing at the pulpit anyway! He just seemed like a cool dude at first.

Then a few weeks later, you find out that this dude actually had more affairs then Spitzer did! I thought that was hilarious!

Can you imagine some of the crappy one liners in some of those multiple affairs that David Patterson had?

Oh sorry, I am a little blind at the moment and I tend to feel around in the dark at times! But would it be alright to grope around your boobies like my braille presentations in the office?

Ha ha ha! Even when they try to get it right in congress, they still get it wrong! Story of my life, I never get this much action at all, which is both sad and pathetic to some and trivial to others.

Personally, I think these New York sleep-arounds should be at a 2 lady minimum, tops! Then the nice bottoms come as some sort of payed extra, afterwards!

John F. Kennedy was the affair maestro of the day and they respected him for it anyway! Think about it, he had Marilyn Monroe and people were still shaking his hands afterwards in respect! Nowadays, if these politicians even have one single affair, they are instant tabloid fodder for a good month or 2!

(Yo doe! Yo doe! Translated: Because he is holding a thermal detonator!)

Heh, lets face it....I read somewhere online that is 1/4^th of American women who are around their 20s have STDs. You would be best to bring more then rubbers in this day and age if that statistic is right.

If it were me, I would be bringing in riot gear and stainless-steel armor plating for my penis! Like aluminum plated and bolted down, so as I might be, just a tad bit more safe! Cause you can just never be too safe for the crap that is floating around out there! LOL!

That is what James Bond would of done....he was the king emperor of sleep-abouts for all of those 007 films. NOT ONE STD TO HIS NAME AT ALL! Nothing, not even a cold! Lucky bastard! No wonder why this world is such a fucked-up place now, cause when was the last time you ever saw a fictional character with an STD? Like, probably never....

(Okay, probably Kimberly from Different Strokes or Tootie from The Facts Of Life! But that was many centuries ago!)

Yeah, I guess I think about too much at once. No wonder I never get any action anymore....ha ha!

Depressing I am sure, I should just drink more coffee and watch more Star Wars! Hell, at least Han Solo got laid! Luke wanted some of that too, then the realized they were brother and sister! Oh god...no!

Horray for being a true patriot of nothing! Don’t vote for anybody, unless it is one of my Furrlough stories, then you will have an escuse!

Let’s face it. You don’t want to miss your favorite shows either on a cold and darkened night of prime time! LOL!

(Also, if someone out there is generous to sell me the Limited Edition Widescreen DVD of Empire Strikes Back for less then 5 dollars, just let me know in this blog? Okay? LOL!)

So yeah, dude! Another blog in the endless seas of mindless Myspaces, pathetic attempts to win you over and vast and watery internet voids, so here we go....

I was watching that movie Eragon, the other day. Yeah, again, if you have never seen this gem of a movie, then I will not hold it against you. (Cause truthfully, your probably not missing a whole lot anyway and would rather suggest to you watch classic Doctor Who anyway! Hah! Your also better off to see Grindhouse: Planet Terror or even Daywatch!)

Well, I am about to spoil this movie for anyone who has never seen this thing. So embrace yourself for some more reading hell on my selfish account! But I know some of you, you will read on anyway, cause of the temptation! Why? Cause some of you will say: No man, I want to hear Mickmo talk about it! Talk about it now, you silly artist comic fuck who draws bunnies and such! That Mickmo, he ALWAYS makes my day with that awesome insight! So here it is, in all of its Hindenburg-like glory....

Anyway, some kid in high school or some crap wrote these 3 books called the "Inheritance Trilogy", for which I never read at all. The classic computer geek who never gets laid, he decides to write 3 books. This kid (Christopher Paolini) was probably like stoned in-between class periods or some crap, and was like: Yeah dude, I will grab a fucking hall pass and write this Eragon in the bathroom in between breaks! Te he he!

I swear man, this kid looks like some sort of Jeopardy high school contestant gone wrong. Who got it wrong on the "Daily Double" and decided to take it out on everyone with explosives one day! This kid probably never gets out of the house or hangs out with chicks, cause I swear, he is as pale and alone as me! LOL!

Who knows man, the author was probably starting on the Eragon books when he was 10 or something during recess. How the hell do you expect me to know on that? I am not really up in the Eragon-ology at all! Personally, I thought it was some weird rip-off of Dragons Of Pern or Dungeons & Dragons, but I really do not know why the little kids scorn me now, in novels!

Anyway, again, I never tend to watch any new movies at the theater anymore. Cause I am a despised recluse in some circles of the popcorn industry! So again, I was there at the local library, and looking around for movies I could possibly watch. And there it was, staring me right in the freaking face! Eragon, a movie semi-worthy of my coveted library card and about 2 to 3 hours of time I would never really get back on a snow day, ever again!

(Hey, some patron had to give up his or her movie, huh? Oh well, so much for getting some top-notch Peter Jackson flick like any of the Lord Of The Rings films! Eragon was definitely not any of that! If you think it is as good as Dragonslayer or Krull, you are way off!)

What can I say, it was a decent movie if your into that sort of thing. (And yes, I push the term decent very lightly in this instance.)

The main kid in this movie was, of course, Eragon the resident farm runt. Who looks to me like some awkward coming-of-age Luke Skywalker on crack or something to me! I ain't making that up either, even his brother looked like secondary farm Jedi or some crap in the poor white-boy plantation.

He is wandering around a bit, then he finds this big-ass egg, that he thought was some blue stone at first. So then, he stashes it in his school back pack for later. Again, it is always the freaking lovely farm boys who find this crap lying around the place! Just ask Joseph Smith on a Ouija Board someday, LOL!

It is always the orphan Harry Pothead sorts who get into these weird adventures anyway! What the hell, man?

It turns out, he really got this egg-thing from some really hot red-headed princess babe who teleported it to his remote ass, her name was Princess Arya! (Her name was Sienna Guilleroy or something like that, whoa, she needs to be dorked as soon as humanly possible by somebody like me! She rides and works with horses for pete sake, LOL! Instant goddess upon my screen there with the right body, whoa!)

But anyway, she is in some lair with this older dude at one point, then she is running around the forest looking for Eragon in a dream just to get away from Durza. (The bad dude who looked liked he was out of a black metal band or some crap, who was a Shade!) All the while, in some scenes, Eragon is trying to feed the newly-hatched dragon with some milk or some crap. Perhaps it was some powdered-fictional water or some crap that had a white tone, who knows?

And then Eragon is in the barnyard ands get part of his hand melted by the dragon, so as he looks down at his hand and it has some big-ass "E" on the lower palm. Cause the dragon burned it there and stuff out of being bored or something, I don't know really? I guess the E stood for Ex-lax, cause I just put 2 and 2 together, dude!

This baby dragon grows up to be some larger feminist dragon, just from flying around the lightning bolts for a bit in the sky. Then the dragon swoops down again, and tells this corny kid later on: Yeah, I am Saphira dude, and you are my rider, you can get a dragon ride for about 5 bucks a pop, dude! But only if you pay in advance and don't fall off of my back, bitch grinder! (The voice work on that was by the lovely Rachel Weisz, another boner-like fantasy I should try to tackle one of these days! Meow!)

Eragon has this mentor named Brom (Played by Jeremy Irons) and he always seems a bit mad at poor little Eragon. Cause you know man, Eragon is some sort of future dragon-rider punk-ass kid, who may as well of stepped out of the high school during detention to get on Myspace to see how many friends he built up in a day! Yeah, you know what I am talking about there....the mentor dies and the kid still does not get any from Princess Arya in that entire film man! Not even a handshake, which left hope for my sorry-ass somehow!

All the while, these people are having flashbacks of the dragon wars and the hot flames. All these weird imp-like creatures were following Eragon around. They had these worm-things creeping around the body. Like the bad guy has herpes or some sort of strange tapeworm? That is why they run around, cause they were hurting for some medicine! LOL!

Then some other bratty kid and some brother of the fantasy-scape befriends Eragon. All the while, Princess Arya is suffering from some food poisoning somewhere I guess?

Galbatorix gets more and more irate at the Varden and everyone else, like some boring-ass insurance agent of the furthest lands of sanity? (Galbatorix is played by John Malkovitch, in one of the blandest acting performances since Tom Cruise in Eyes Wide Shut, minus the party cleavage in masks! Whoa is me for my future jerk-off fantasy! Hah!)

Galbatorix had like a "G" on his palm, towards the end of the film. Cause I suppose it was short for g-string acting ploys on my DVD! LOL!

Then if that ain't bad enough for words to describe, he then hangs out with this young Aragorn looking bratty kid. He probably was on lunch break or some crap from the high school, hah!

Yeah, it is a crazy movie dude. Which explains why I never saw it in the theater/popcorn-houses of the Midwest of the Kansas City Metro! Hell man, I don't even see movies at the dollar theaters anymore. I am too much of a recluse nowadays! LOL!

So I really thought about it. I wanted to redirect the movie and I had the perfect formula for that. I wanted to make Eragon a much better experience for the entire family, by putting my own little spin on it! Buckle down here with me, cause this would of made the made the movie a much better watching experience for me.....bu ha ha ha! Here we go with the master plan of Mickmo....

1. Take out that Eragon-kid completely out of the movie, he is an weird and annoying little dork-fest of a kid who will never have any sex from any sort of hot looking elf-ladies whatsoever! Little will change with that part of it! Yeah, like any elf or ogre will give this brat any sort of day at all, he is too damn busy riding dragons man! He ain't going to get any till he is about 32, trust me on that one!

2. Have a brief scene or two where you show Christopher Paolini getting hit in the crotch repeatedly by some random bad guy or some angry dragon-flare from Saphira! That would make my day and it makes for better entertainment anyway!

3. Have another scene where you have some obese kid snickering about candy bars out of the blue. His one line in the entire movie would be: I stole the candy bar from my mother's lunch box today Eragon! "Snort, snort, snort!" (Think: Chris Farley laughing like he was in those old sketches of The Herlihy Boy!)

4. Take some Turtle Wax to John Malkovitch's bald head, just so he could shine as some impending radar thing to planes and dragons in the sky! And make sure you have an ogre rub it on his head in a circular fashion, rather strenuous like, like a Sunday morning car wash!

5. Instead of the novice Eragon, just stick me in the damn movie instead! Cause after all, I am a cult artist, and I like it when the art is good and I am more well-hung then Eragon will ever be! That is just a fact of life anyway, LOL!

6. Screw having swords and shields on the set man, I got a better weapon in my pants for hottie red-headed elf princess of my liking! She is just that sexy for the future sex! Whoopee, broncos, so much for the Hollywood directing budget!

7. Have some kick ass rotating CGI effects of me and Princess Arya making out for about 2 hours straight with me. Not like the suggestive kittie-boy stuff, mind you, I am talking about all-out intensive battle-porn with this hot piece of girlie ass. Hubble my bubble and shag carpet, I say! Yeah!!!!

8. Have some wicked conveyor belt scenes, some bungee sex and crap of me doing her. After all, this is a fantasy based off of real things anyway. (Like boobies and ass bouncing around so joyous-like!) Those backgrounds can be in CGI also, cause lets face it, you have to put Industrial Light And Sound to some good use here during the hot sex!

9. Last but not least, when I win the Oscar for this stuff in my novel directing. Hey, I will have another sex tool to use, later on in the art of lovely love-making for the Princess Arya! Hell yeah, my victory speech for winning the Oscar will be something to the effect of: Yeah, I shagged her and wagged her good, but she did insist! She said it would boost her career. It was a oustanding performance by all of us in the flick. We sort of ad-libbed the script and burned it, I admit, but the groans were pretty much real cause she is an athletic trooper of cinema! I want to thank the academy for giving me this great sex aide tonight, she is going to really dig it bro! Oh yeah, and I see you in the audience looking at my man-sack, Ellen Page! Your next, you little loving Juno lover of lore! I got my eye on you....

I know man, I probably ruined this movie for everyone forever more. I never directed anything except for Youtube videos man! And I still don't give a damn! Heh!

Yeah, I likes my food that a way! Hot and served up on a platter! Well, not like I really get any ladies to really stare at me for hours at a time. Yeah, it is just safer to blindfold the hot ladies and just have them grope around for awhile!

Just think man, if I get a very hot girl with Helen Keller-type tendencies, I could be set! Oh fuck, who am I really kidding! Even some of the Special Olympiads are taken, fuck!

I guess I should have had some more cola with that Viagra, crap! Why the crap do I even watch these flicks is way beyond me.....

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Yeah, sometimes I stay up late at night, flipping channels of my white-bread television set while I draw comic masterpieces! Sometimes I cannot get past these shows like Entertainment Tonight, Extra, The Insider, TMZ and stuff like that, they are just always on! And aside from annoying me to death about the red carpet and how exclusive it is, I will tell you another thing that annoys me to no end about those shows.....

When you see these celebrity shows and they bring up the term: Baby bump! Gosh, that term sounds like a road hazard to my car tires or some shit! Run over the baby bump and pop your car tires, pop a wheelie, yeah! Watch the traffic today, there a lot of baby bumps on I-70 and Lee's Summit Road this afternoon, due to road construction and more baby bumps!

God, it is one of the most annoying new terms to say to some person: The lady got knocked up and she is 4 to 6 months along! And they are always smiling too about it. Like no matter who it is, Jessica Alba or Angelina Jolie, Kate Blanchett or whoever it was got knocked up that month? Sometimes the celebrity husband and children as well have this little glimmer in their eyes, after the fetal positions and crap!

And then I started to think a bit further, in my cursed and wretched mind of mine. I thought this very thought.....

Well, what if a kid never wanted to leave the womb for about 2 or 3 years time, cause of the outrage of society! What if the kid just wanted to stay in there and make his own life for awhile? Then what?

Do you know what I am saying here? Like your a fetus somewhere in some woman's stomach, your getting fed every day by your mom every day, and you just have no plans to get out of the womb anytime soon?

The doctor's tell the mom: Well, he could be due any day now, I was the one who took the sonogram? The doctor is wiping that strange radioactive jelly on the girl's belly and telling her this. But the doctor is just a dork in a white coat who does not have any damn as to what he is saying, at that point in time!

But the kid never gets out of there, he just does not want to be hatched to a damn cruel world. He is floating in some weird-ass sea of tranquility. You know? He is relaxing on the recliner and crap in there? The kid has your tunes your listening to on your pre-natal I-pod?

You know, like the womb is some cozy little apartment that he or she can listen to his death and black metal anytime they freaking want! The kid is just floating around in there, having a jolly-ass time! Calling his buddies and what not on his mother's stolen cellphone?

All the while, the mother is getting all pissed off. Like calls her other friends who had kids and says: Oh, don't trouble me Alice! You kid hatched prematurely, your a lucky ass! My kid, he just has a good old time in my womb and he has been in there for years. It freaks me out! He don't want to leave, cause the kid said it would be like some eviction notice or some crap and beat me up! I got bags underneath my eyes as this kid parties in my womb at times. No wonder I never sleep.....

Then later on in the long phone call....

So there is that kid in my womb for 2 years, he was peering out at me one day from my vagina, all sinister-like! I could see the demon-spawn's evil eyes! The kid was just laughing at me and looking at me all sneaky, calling me a evil whore and every other name in the book! And if that don't take the cake, he wanted to borrow my Sam Kinison DVD! He just snatched it from my bedside one day while I was sleeping, and hooked up some television device from my nerve endings! Alice, he is a nasty little bastard! What am I to do?

Why the hell do I even think of this dumb-ass crap to begin with!? This idea was even crazier then that one time I thought about a 24-hour erection! Well, either that or when the time I told this one stupid dude that The Lion King was based from real events!

Damn kids, who in there right mind comes up with this crap? Ha ha ha ha!

See there, what watching endless movies on snow days does to a person? They turn out to be like me, a genius and horny recluse who writes blogs with my boner hitting the desk every now and again!

Sure it hurts at times, but sometimes, I like the pleasure! Geez, no wonder I fantasize about women that I will never get....this is why Megan Fox hates me now and avoids me like the plague! Oh yes, she wants me I bet, she just doesn't know it yet! LOL!

(I wrote a shorter blog this time for you all! Awesome for me! Awesome for you as I do my silly-ass chicken dance of triumph, once again!)

That is it, I will probably never date again after those girls read this crap! All of those ladies ran away by now, at this point! I give up already! LOL!

I need a bagel with the extra cream cheeze, until the next one....