Sitting on the highway waiting to catch speeders, a state police officer saw a car puttering along at 22 M.P.H. He thinks to himself, that car is just as dangerous as a speeder. So, he turns his lights on and pulls the car over. Approaching the car, he notices there are 5 old ladies, two at the front and 3 at the back, wide eyed and looking like ghosts.

The driver obviously confused said,"Officer, I don't understand, I wasn't doing over the speed limit!, What seems to be the problem?" "Ma'am," the officer said, "you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be dangerous". "Slower than the speed limit? NO SIR! I was doing exactly 22 miles an hour", the old woman said proudly.

The officer containing a chuckle explains that 22 was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned, thanking the officer for pointing out her error. "Before I go Ma'am, I have to ask, is everyone OK?

These women seem badly shaken and haven't uttered a word all this time" "Oh! they will be alright in a minute, Officer, we just got off Route 142."

Questioning Faith

A woman, who lived in Tucson, was well-known for her faith and lack of reticence in talking about it. She would go out on the front porch and say, "Praise the Lord!"

Her next door neighbor would shout back, "There ain't no Lord!"

The woman of faith was very poor, so the neighbor decided to prove his point by buying a large bag of groceries and placing it at her door.

The next morning, she went to the porch and, seeing the groceries, said, "Praise the Lord!"

The neighbor stepped out from behind a tree and said, "I brought those groceries, and there ain't no Lord." 

She replied, "Lord, you not only sent me food but you made the devil pay for it."

Dog Wisdom

-- The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue. -Anonymous 

-- Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. -Ann Landers 

-- If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. -Will Rogers 

-- There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. -Ben Williams 

-- A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. -Josh Billings 

-- We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made. -M. Acklam 

-- Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate. -Sigmund Freud 

-- I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. -Rita Rudner 

-- A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. -Robert Benchley 

-- Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard. -Dave Barry 

-- Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. -Franklin P. Jones 

-- If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise. -Unknown 

-- My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money. -Joe Weinstein 

-- Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth! -Anne Tyler 

-- Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. -Robert A. Heinlein 

-- Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. -Groucho Marx 

-- Speak softly and own a big, mean Doberman. -Dave Miliman 

-- If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. -Mark Twain 

-- Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. -Roger Caras 

-- If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them. -Phil Pastoret 

-- My goal in life is to be as good a person as my dog already thinks I am. -- an OleHoss