http://seanruediger.tumblr.com/

Read it there.
Thank you.

Ink smears on my wrists and hands. I'm a writer, an artist, and a deep person. I care about my friends and family more than you could imagine. I have very strong beliefs regarding the problems of the world, as well as things you couldn't even comprehend to imagine. My mind is constantly ticking, and is forever on. I always believe of our lives as an hourglass. As the glass is flipped over, our time is set. As the sand falls towards the bottom of the glass, it represents the seconds, minutes, and hours of our lives. It's kind of interesting when you think about it, but time is definitely valuable. It really is, because who knows when that last grain of sand is hitting the bottom of that glass. It's honestly terrifies me. I'm against the killing of animals, but I can't force it upon myself to become a vegetarian yet. My parents taught me alot of things. They taught me not to be weak, and not let others push me around. My friends taught me to never let what others say get to who I really am. I realized that I have a voice and I can achieve and change anything if I put my mind to it. Anyone can make a difference if they are determined and have a set goal. I have come to the conclusion to never give up, and just keep pushing yourself forward because living, breathing, and walking this Earth is the most beautiful thing you could do. It could do wonders for you. It really could. Never underestimate yourself, or think you can't do anything because you most definitely can. Achieving the impossible is possible. Optimism and determination is key. Remember, time is valuable as well as a set goal in life. Don't let your mind wander off track. Don't loose your pace. Keep going, and never forget about on who you really are, or what you really want to accomplish in life.

My name is Sean William Ruediger, and I'm a 17 year old boy that thinks more than I even can believe. I have great hopes and dreams, and I'd love for you to get to know me. Let's talk and get to know each other.

Hello world,

I haven't wrote one of these in so long, but I feel the need to write at least something since a lot has been going on in my life. So here we go:

Lately, I have been looking at old photographs, reading old letters, and even watching old videos I used to create with my friends when I was younger. I never realized on how much time has actually flew by over the last three years. It seems like just yesterday I was at Chelsey's Spring Break Party meeting my friends from Mount Laurel for the first time. Writing on the pool-table with soap, running to the golf-course at night and riding on a little girl's scooter that I forgot to return(sorry!).

I remember Paige dated Duncan at the time, which is so funny to look back on. Margeaux dated Brandon Sax, and Emily was "seeing" Mike Bochey at the time. It was such an innocent environment. We were still growing and learning from little relationships. Now that I look back on it all, it's really funny to see how things turned out. Margeaux and Brandon ended up breaking up; Brandon dated Lauren (Paige's Sister), Paige broke up with Duncan; Duncan went out with Emily; Than I dated Paige; than Paige and I separated and I dated Emily.

It's such a twisted story now that I remember. The whole nine-yards of teenage drama, and all that good stuff you look forward towards in high school. Amongst the group of people; Paige, Chelsey, Danielle, Emily, Duncan, Mike..etc. in that whole category. It's surprising to see a lot of people ended up staying friends, as other went in other directions. It kind of upsets me thinking about friends separating and soon becoming acquaintances.

I really never expected any of this to even happen when Chelsey picked me up on that Spring Day. I never expected to even date any of them, or even becoming involved in their lives. It was so scary, yet so thrilling at the same time.

Within those three years, a lot of friends parted, some stayed close, and some people made new friends. I even caused a little bit of drama amongst a lot of friends, without even realizing it. Okay, let's be honest here; I created a lot of problems amongst that group. I regret a lot of it, but it built us into the characters and beings we are today. We have learned from our mistakes and experiences. I'm sure none of us even thought or dreamed of what happened to us. It was so unexpected, but yet flown together so well.

As I sit here, thinking about those times, looking at photographs -- I just remember a lot more of the experiences than I thought. I remember the first feeling I got when I kissed Emily. I remember the heart-break I got when Paige and I separated. I look back on it all, and It was just like yesterday that it occured.

I feel every bit of it again, and it's comforting. The past is such a comforting environment since I already have been through those good and hard times. But just because the past is so comforting, doesn't mean you should dwell in it. My past memories were so thrilling and wonderful. Yes, I had hard times. Yes, I was heart broken, but that doesn't matter now. Those moments, memories, and experiences helped me understand my present and future. It helped me understand where I am today, and why I am here. It helped me understand my purpose, and outlined my goals and future with that silver lining I needed.

Over the last three years, I have seen smiles, tears, frowns, and people yelling to each other. I have experienced heart break, love, and the pain of loosing a friend. I have really understood myself, and I feel so liberated and free.

When I began to write this, I didn't even expect to write about the previous three years of my life. I thought it'd be a summed up analysis of how I've been recently, but this is what came out when I thought about how I've been recently. It's just something I felt like I had to do. It's helping me let go of the past, and proceed into the future.

Right now, I am alone. I will always be alone. Yes, there will be friends, and family comforting me along the way. But when the lights go out, and I'm laying in bed with myself -- I will be laying alone. People come and go in your life. You end up having friends, and sometimes they become your enemies but one friend you will always have and not be able to get rid of is yourself.

Remember to always love and respect yourself, and do the right thing for you. Keep note on how others feel, but also follow your heart, and don't lose your head. That's what I'm doing, and this feels right. I can't wait for what the future holds, and I'm prepared for every bit of it. It's time to move forward in life since the adventure is waiting to begin.

Thank you.

** If I offended anyone with this, I apologize. Yes, it involves previous times of my life, and others -- but it's something that everyone knows already. I hope no one was bothered by this. Take care.

Hello there, I have created an animation that is focused on discrimination and hatred that is in our society these days. It's very disappointing to see someone shunned down upon, just because of their race, color, or sexual orientation so let's try to fight it and not let that get in the way of our minds! Let's spread the love, because in reality, we are ... all the same. The animation isn't all that great, but I just wanted to put a message across. I will also be releasing more personal animations in the near future so expect more. Hope you enjoyed. Thank you.

I can't help but think of the meaning one has in a world that's so large.... I've been thinking on what difference I play on this society. I can't bare but imagine the hurt people will face if I was gone; my family, my friends, just everyone that loves me.

I hear people taking their lives due to depression or the lack of strength they face in life. Some people have taken their life for the sake of a heartbreak. I cannot do that. Life is just too important to just throw away, and I always think about the others. (note: my friends and family...) I think about how it would hurt them, how hard it would be for them to get by in life.

You'd be surprised, ya know. You are wanted, and you are a major role in this world. As a majority, we may be a whole -- but you as an individual plays a huge importance in this world. You are noticed, and you are a wonderful person.

Honestly, I think I just answered my own question. Everyone has their own little importance or role in this world. Some people think that you won't change the world, or nothing will happen if you pass away -- But in reality, you're hurting people... and that's enough change or too much pain in my perspective.

I love my life, and I never want to lose it, but when the time comes -- Mark my words. I really loved every second of it. I wouldn't change anything for a world. Yes, I may have made mistakes but it has built me into the person I am today. I try to be as loving, and caring as I can be.. I think I'm doing a good job, and I believe I have a good heart. I just wish some people would notice the good in themselves.

One day, I hope to show the world that everyone is beautiful and meaningful in their own way.

Find the good in yourself, your self-worth, and your main purpose and importance in this world. You'll thank yourself for doing so. It's an amazing feeling knowing that you're wanted. And I guarantee 100% that you are wanted. Believe me.

Sometimes I wish I could change the world... Remove all the hate and pain one feels and just make it into love and happiness. I sometimes wish I could do something about situations that breaks one's heart, or maybe tears them down into nothing.. People all over the world faces problems every single day that they go through and it makes them into a better and stronger person -- So why remove the situations their in if it makes them stronger? If it makes them better? Maybe, it's because one can only take so much in life until they snap -- They only can face so much pain and feel the tears go down their face for only a certain amount of times until they will be broken.. .with nothing left.

It's a really sad thought on how much pain is in this world. And I just wish I could do something about it to mend people's wounds, but it's merely impossible to even do so, which is a very sad thought entirely.

Oh god. So my alarm never went off this morning, and I'm let again LATE to school. Instead of even bothering signing into school, and hearing a lecture from my school, I just decided to take the day off. This probably isn't smart of me, because I have missed numerous days already -- but this is my last, I swear.

In my own opinion, I honestly think I need the day off. I have alot going through my mind, and I just need to take the day to relax, and get my life back in check. I don't know what I'll do to relax or whatever, but we'll see -- Maybe, I'll watch a nice little movie and eat popcorn, or just write a nice story or poem. OR, I could always make up tons of make-up homework I have. (:

I just hope this day provides me with the productive urge, I need. We'll see though. I just can't stand that EVERYONE else has off today for the Jewish Holiday, but no -- Good Ol' Riverside High School doesn't. Man, What did Jews do to Riverside, to make them hate them so badly? Hah.

Alright, bye bye :)

Ahh, Hello everyone!

I hardly doubt ANYONE is reading this, but for some reason -- I'm feeling so freaking happy right now! Have you ever gotten that natural high feeling, like you can just conquer ANYTHING, or doing anything you set your mind too? Haha, I'm feeling that right now.

I'm feeling so great about myself, and I realized my self-worth tonight. I never knew on how important I was in this world, nor did I know on how I can make myself so happy, by just simply by living. Being alive is probably the most wonderful thing you could ever have. Life is a gift alone, in this world ! Never take any of that for granted!

I feel how I felt about almost three years ago, back in 2006 -- When I was younger, so innocent and pure. I feel reborn and unaware of things again! (but in a good way, of course!) I'm so tired of the upsetting moods, and all of that. I'm feeling GREAT. I think it's time to enjoy life.

I miss some things, like a few friends -- but I know for a fact, if they TRULY care about me, and LOVE ME for who I am -- They will eventually come back to me. Love is a beautiful thing, and I know that for a fact. Never take advantage of that.

Anybody who is reading this, just tell me what makes you happy or whatever... I want to hear what makes you just the happiest person alive, because I'm absolutely like so energized and optimistic. It's great, and I LOVE IT. :) Haha. Alright everyone!

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY :D :D :D :D
I love you all!!!

oh, 11:11 -- MAKE A WISH :D

Is there a heaven? Is there a hell? Is there these places that we will go to at the end of our lives? These are the questions that fill my mind. It's just such a contradicting and sad thing to think about. What if when we die we go no where? What if when we pass away everything is just ...over? People say that when someone dies that "they're in a better place now..." But what if, that place doesn't even exist?

Everyone seems to be entitled to their own opinion, as I am with mine. But I just sometimes question these aspect and ideas in our lives. Of course, I want to believe in a heaven and a hell -- That's a nice belief. Even though hell isn't that great, but I'd like to think that heaven is the richest and purest place you can ever know. And once you're there, you're eternally happy. Of course, EVERYONE wants to think this. It gives us hope that we aren't just nothing after death.

Many people say God is the one and only, he's eternal and created himself which bunks the question of "who created God?" out of the field... But what if there isn't a god? Back in the Roman times, there were NUMEROUS gods. There was a sun god to explain why the sun came up everyday, a rain god to explain why it rained, etc. These Gods were created to explain things that the Romans couldn't quite explain. WHAT IF, our God is exactly the same thing. What if, Our God is created to explain whats after death? It's a rather scary thing to think about.

What if God was created by man to give us hope? To give us faith? Religion was created to give us morals. It was created to distinguish the ideas of whats right or wrong. The Ten Commandments help you in life, and you must go by them, "Thou shall not steal, kill etc." It helps keep a society in check. I personally believe, Without religion a society will be very corrupt and will fall apart.

In a world where people don't believe there is anything after death, in a world where people will do as they please, not even caring about the consequences -- that's what our world will turn into without a religion.

I personally don't know what to believe. I'd love to believe there is a heaven, and hell. And that God created us all equally in his own image... But I just can't help but think, what if it's all a lie?

I think People created God to make us feel good about ourselves. Can you imagine that person saying "Hes in a better place now..." Didn't even say that and KNOW FOR A FACT, that there is nothing after death? That's just scary ! And what makes our GOD, the right God? Since when did the Christian God be the ONE and ONLY God? I don't get that.

Don't be afraid to express how you feel. I think many wonder this honestly, but are scared to express what they think.. thinking they will get looked down upon... But it doesn't matter what others think about you anymore, really. Only the ones that are important in your life, matter. :)

It's just such a controversial subject, and I'm just questioning things. I'm not atheist.. I'm still a catholic, I just don't even know what to think anymore.

Basically Sums It up below:
- God was created by man to give us hope and faith that there is something after death.
- Religion was created to set morals and hope in our lives to do the right thing.
- God created himself, he's eternal.
- Society will fall apart without a GOD, or a religion.