The Quest of J-Unit!

Season One, Season Finale

Episode 3:

Starring:

Goldman - The 14 Karat Kracker

Alayon - The Alien

And Guest Starring: Copy-San, Ceez, Liz and Mickey Mouse!!!

And so we return to our adventure!

It's been almost a year our heroes went their seperate ways in search of the reason Jesus is mad. Alayon went to New York, and Goldman went to Mexico, but neither of them have found anything yet. We now bring you Episode 3, where our heroes reunite!

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Goldman: So hey bro, you find anything up in New York?

Alayon: Nah man, ain't found nothing. How about you?

Alayon: Wait, where'd my cup go?

Goldman: Bitch, who cares. Look at my hair! I'd shank you with this shit!

Alayon: I think I know somebody we can talk to. Maybe he can help us out!

Goldman: Sounds like a good idea! Let's check it out!

 And so our heroes venture into their multi-million dollar condo to find that certain someone!

 And into the room where it all began!

Goldman: Hey Julian, guess what?

Alayon: What?

Goldman: I got my Vans on, but they look like sneakahs!!!

Alayon: Oh my, that's quite a problem.

Alayon: Man, we've been looking for Jesus for so long, I don't tihnk we'll ever get to the bottom of this.

Goldman: ...It's only been three damn episodes!

Copy-San: Looks to me like you guys are having some problems.

Goldman: No shit dog-face!

Copy-San: ...

Mystery Mouse: Hello gentlemen!

Goldman: Who the hell is he?

Mystery Mouse: The answer to all your searching can be answered through that door there.

Both: Wait, tell us who you are before you go!

Mystery Mouse: I can't, or else he'll find out! But...for the sake of the episode...

Mystery Mouse: Ta Da!!!

Copy-San: Oh shit!

Both: KING MICKEY!!!

King Mickey: Shhhh! Now go! And remember, evil likes cookies!

Both: Alright, let's do it!

Both: Onwards!

Copey: Will you two shut the hell up already? My ass is starting to itch!

And so our heroes walk through the portal to god knows where. After several seconds of insane teleporting action, our heroes arrive at their destination!

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Alayon: Hey, this place looks familiar. Let's go inside!

Goldman: You go on ahead, I'ma jack that car!

Meanwhile, inside...

Unknown Warrior: Worry not my master, they won't get past me!

Unknown Warrior: They shall all fall by my hands!!!

Meanwhile, outside...

Alayon: Damnit, let's go you kracker bastard!

 Goldman: Sheesh, fine, no taco for you.

Our heroes go to open the door, but waiting inside was...

Unknown Warrior: Halt intruders! You must get by me first!!!

And so our heroes engage in combat with this unknown warrior!

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???: I see you've defeated one of my greatest warriors. That matters little, I still have one more minion for you to die to! Liz! Get over here!

Liz: Yes my lord?

???: Where's my sandwhich bitch?!!

Liz: I couldn't find the cheese you like, my lord.

???: Shut up, no excuses! Anyways, take care of these two for me!

Liz: Like, okay my lord!

???: Behold, the power of the Generic MySpace Picture Princess!!!

*Snap*

Liz: Like, this costume makes me itchy!

Goldman: I beat the last guy, I'll take her on!!!

*Punch*

Goldman: Ahh!!! My middle testicle!!!

Goldman: There go all the little Goldmans!!!!

Liz: Like, listen to my new ringtone!!!
Goldman: Oh no! I'm too white for this music!!!

Alayon: *singing*Yo no quiero agua. Yo quiero bebida.

Julian: Give me that.

Julian: Oh, and by the way.

Julian: That costume makes you look fat.

Liz: Like, oh no!!!

*Poof*

???: It seems like you've defeated all my henchmen. I honor your skills

.Alayon: Hey, who are you?

Alayon: You must be the one behind all this, aren't you?

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???: Bwahahaha, you're all pathetic!

Alayon: Wait!!!

Alayon: We'll make you pay, Andrew-Sama! We won't go down without a fight!

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*Zoom*

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Goldman: Ahh, my eyes!!!

Andrew-Sama: Prepare to face real power!

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And it seems our heroes have been defeated at the hands of their former master, Andrew-Sama! What can they do now?

Alayon: Hey Goldman, what are we gunna do now?

Goldman: I don't know man, but getting my ass kicked really works up an appetite.

Alayon: Sweet, cookies!

*Kersmack*

Goldman: Hey, what's that little piece of paper?

Goldman: It's got funny writing on it!
Alayon: Hey, I know what to do! Put your cookies in this jar!
Goldman: Nehehehe, cookies.

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And so, our heroes have vanquished the evil that is Andrew-Sama. The world has been saved, and everything seems a little more peaceful, but there is still one question that remains unanswered.

Why is Jesus angry?

This Episode sponsored by:

 - MC Hammer?

The Quest of J-Unit!

Season One

Episode 2: The Consultation of Andrew-Sama

Starring:

The Goldman - The 14 karat kracker

Alayon - The Alien

And Guest Starring: Andrew-Sama

And so, we find our heroes getting drunk and slappin' CULO! ((For ya whiteys, that's ass in spanish))

 Goldman: Check it out, only my pupils are there!

Alayon: More Tequila please!

 Our heroes get in "their" car, and drive off into the night, with fresh tequila, and fresher CULO in the backseat.

Goldman: Dude, where the fuck did you get this ride?...Oh I get it...you sneaky Columbian bastard!

Alayon: First of all...I find that racist. Second of all...damn right, I stole this shit!

 Our heroes are too busy spankin' CULO and drinking more booze, they do not realize this sign!

 So after one tequila, two tequila, three tequila...

Everybody: AHHHHHH!!!

 ...floor.

And so our heroes sleep through the night...

 <-----That's not the only thing he sucked last night...

Next Morning!

And come sunrise, our heroes awaken, with no memory of the previous night.

 Goldman: The hell happened? And why am I sleeping on a tile floor?

 Alayon: *Snore* ...Oh...what?

 Goldman: Dude...I had this sick dream last night that we picked up some CULO, got drunk, hotwired a pimpin' ride...and drove it off a cliff.

 Alayon: Damn! That ain't a bad idea.

So, after aimlessly walking around the same room, our hero stumbles upon a problem.

 Alayon: Hey, how are we ever going to find out why Jesus is mad?

 Goldman: I know! I'll go to my master...

Andrew-Sama!!!

 So after "finding" a new ride... ((sponsored by Chuck-E-Cheese))

Goldman: Cmon man...why Chuck-E-Cheese?

Alayon: Shut'cher kracker ass up. Chuck-E-Cheese can kick Mickey Mouse's ass anyday!

 Andrew-Sama: Green, Green. Get the money. Dolla dolla bill, ya'll...

*Zoom-in*

 Notice his eyes are always closed!

 Alayon: Yo, wassup dog!

 Alayon: Huh?!

 Alayon: Waaaah!

Andrew-Sama: Don't touch me bitch!

 Alayon: *Bang*

 Goldman: Haha! Man, I'd love to see that in frame-by-frame!

And so...

 Alayon: Woah...what happened?

 Goldman: Here Master, I offer you my Altoids as the cerimonial offering.

Andrew-Sama: I'd have preferred KFC...

 Andrew-Sama: Very well then, you have been granted two questions.

 Alayon: Hey, you remind me of someone, but I just can't remember who. Mind helping me out here?

 Andrew-Sama: Oh, that guy? That's Buddha, he works next door.

 *ding*

 Goldman: Hey Master, I came here wondering why Jesus is having a bad day. Can you help us out?

 Andrew-Sama: Sure, lemme get him on the low.

*Ring ring* *Voicemail picks up* Hey there, this is Jesus H. Christ. I'm probably out smiting right now, so leave your Name, number, and your soul's pin number, so I can get back to you as soon as possible. Wait...how do I turn this thing off? ...Ahh, whatever. *Water boiling in the background* Whoa, I left this stuff on the stove too long! Lemme just pick it up...OH MY DAD! THAT'S HOT! *click*

 Goldman: So what'd he say?

 Andrew-Sama: Shit, I dunno, I'm still on my high!

 Goldman: Doh!

Alayon: Oh my head...

And so our heroes continue their search for Jesus!

This episode sponsored by:

 - Altoids

 - New Nikes! Coming to a store near you...

Well, I got an inspiration last night to make a webcam movie. So, here it is everybody, hope you enjoy!

The Quest of J-Unit!

Season One

Episode 1: The Quest Begins!

Starring:

 The Goldman - The 14 karat kracker

Alayon - The Alien

One day, our heros are sitting around playing video games! The Goldman was on the computer, enjoying himself on a good MMORPG.

 Goldman: Whoo! Level up!

One Hour Later...

 Goldman: Ahh...another level up.

Another Hour Later...

 Goldman: ...level...up?

You Guessed It! Another Hour Later...

Goldman: ...*snore*

While Goldman sleeps, Alayon plays Halo 2!

 Alayon: This game is teh shit! Bangin'!

Another Hour Later...

 Alayon: Wahoo! Get that Flag!

You Wouldn't Believe It! Another Hour Later...

 Alayon: Only...another...15 kills...

Need I Even Explain?

Alayon: ZzZzZzZz

 The Next Morning...

Our hero awakens the next morning with a killer headache.

 Goldman: Oh, my head! How long did I sleep?

 Alayon: ZzZzZzZz

 Goldman: Wake your alien ass up.

 Alayon: Huh?

A boom erupts from outside, and the sky turns dark. Our hero goes to the window to investigate!

 Goldman: Hey, check it out!

Meanwhile outside...

 Goldman: I wander what it is. Could it be a sign from above?

 Alayon: Well, it may be that the gas molecules are forming liquid molecules that make the clouds look like that, it also means that the electricity inside the cloud formation is building up which can cause a thunderstorm.....

 Goldman: Huh?

 Alayon: Or maybe Jesus is having a bad day.

 Goldman: *ding*

 Goldman: But why would Jesus be having a bad day?

 Alayon: Maybe it's because the lack of consideration of the earth, people are always cold-hearted and treat each other and the world like nothing, what I would propose to do is to stop all the violence, recycle, help the community, and make this world a better place to live in....

 Goldman: Huh?

 Alayon: Or maybe we can go find out for ourselves.
  Goldman: *ding*

And so, our heros set off on their quest to find Jesus, and find out why he's pissed. What will they uncover in their journeys? God only knows! (And maybe Andrew-Sama)

 Both: And onwards to our quest! ((Subliminal message: Nose Nuggets!))

This film brought to you by:

 - Halo 2

 - Copey-Sama (Though he had nothing to do with this)