Well its been friggin forever since I've been on here so heres a lil update.

I am now currently a resident of Riccarton, ChCh, living with my boyfriend Mitch and 4 others. Mitch is the one that I was scared to tell I liked him, but as you can tell it kinda worked out :-)

I work full-time in a bar and I adore my job.

I have good music taste now, ranging from Jimi Hendrix to HIM to AFI, I'm really into Panic! at the disco now (even tho they're lame)

My regular haunt at the moment is a drum and bass bar called mansion, you can always find me there for $4 Fridays.

I got another tattoo! well actually I just added onto my apc one. I have 'Eyes of a fallen angel, Eyes of a tragedy' written around it.

And thats about it.

<3

:-)

What to do, What to do.....

So since Sean and me broke up, I havent been able to be single. I met a guy the night we broke up, the I met another one the next night that I'd liked for a while. (and no 'met' isnt code for something else.)I've met 2 more guys since then, that all like me.

It sucks... I dont know who to choose, or if I actually want any of them.

Here they are....

Tyler: The one I meet the night of the break-up, He's from Chch and is 3 months younger then me.

Nic: I originally kinda liked him for a while because I worked with him, and he seemed nice. I had a feeling he liked he liked me... and I was right. He's 23 and wants to be setteled down by now, which I love. He just seems a bit....weird tho.

Blake: Me and him had a sort-of 'thing' at high school, and now he's just started talking to me again. He's the lead singer in a metal band, and trys to be a full-on rockstar. He's nice and all but... I dunno.

Hamish: I was pretty much in love with him for about 2 years at high school, and kinda um stalked him. He was a bit freaked out by me then, but he got my cell number off his mate and has started txting and emailing me now. He says real nice things, things that if said them a few years ago, i probobly wouldve died from lust. He's from Wanaka tho, and has a gf. He doesnt act like he has one in his txts tho.

Theres about 3 other guys thats I dont really need to mention, I'm not really into them like they are to me. I'm flattered but they're just not for me.

I've been told it just sounds like I'm using these guys, but i'm not. I dont want it to be like this, but I dont want to be alone. I've just got to decide who I want.

I cant belive it, I cant belive he dumped me.

why? it was going so good....... apparntly not for him though. He cant 'ever see us being together'......thats it, thats his reason for it. after 10 months! (and 3 years before that!) He said he never wants to get married or have kids.....ever! and not just to me, to anyone! I said "so you just wanna die alone and sad then?'' and he said '' Nah I'll have my mates"

I mean, wat the hell!?

Fuck! I'm so upset! I'm bawling my eyes out, argh! he was meant to be the one!

I dont know why he doesnt love me.

What I've felt, what I've known
Turn the pages, turn the stone
Behind the door, should I open it for you....

What I've felt, what I've known
Sick and tired, I stand alone
Could you be there, 'cause I'm the one who waits for you
Or are you unforgiven too?
--Metallica

This song has so many memories, I'm just listening to it wondering where the times gone and whats happened since. Its strange how just a song can bring up so many emotions. I'm staring at the lyrics and seeing heaps of different meanings....I think.