Vague disclaimer: If you don't like reading slightly informative blogs that involve shameless pimping you should probably look away now.

So in February I left Fox Television to go work at Saturday Night Magazine - a college/twenty-something entertainment and lifestyle magazine distributed in San Francisco and LA. It's still something of a fledging publication but is definitely gaining momentum with every issue and it's pretty exciting to watch it steadily gain popularity. Even more exciting for me is that I get a hand in the editorial, marketing and distribution aspects of the magazine. I'm also partly responsible for the website content so please feel free to go to www.snmag.com and check out our latest articles, reviews and interviews, some of which I've written.

As with most things nowadays it's all about the viral, so tell your friends to tell their friends and help keep me in the job :)

End of filthy self-promotion.

You may notice that in the so-called 'television' section of my profile, I noted the names of all the new tv shows I was interested in checking out this Fall season. So, for shits and giggles, here's what I thought about them, in my order of preference and in the form of tiny paragraphs. Ooosh.

1. Heroes

A Lost/X-Men hybrid that I instantly fell in love with but am now fearing could become contrived and disappointing, unless I get to see Milo Ventimiglia and Hayden Panettiere make out every week, in which case all will be well with the world.

2. Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip

I love a bit of television-related metafiction and I'll watch anything in which Amanda Peet, Matty Perry and Sarah Paulson get to say clever lines. Woo!

3. Ugly Betty

They made a TV series that rips off The Devil Wears Prada and I'm perfectly ok with that because it's kitschy and awesome. 

4. Brothers and Sisters

I'm glad Calista Flockhart is back on TV but you can't just throw a bunch of fantastic actors together and hope for the best. I want conflict! I want comedy! I was some fucking character development! God, I wish the writers would go watch Six Feet Under and then start over.

5. Friday Night Lights

I don't care about football and I certainly don't care about religious middle Americans playing football but hotpotatoes if I didn't tear up when that underdog quarterback won the game.

6. The Nine

Omg, it's just like Lost but with a bank robbery and less attractive people!

7. Six Degrees

OMG, it's just like Lost and The Nine but without an island or a bank robbery or any kind of discernable point of interest! I'm not angry, J.J., just disappointed.  

8. Standoff

I work on this show so it saddens me to say that, even though it boasts Gina Torres among the cast, it's just not that good. 

9. Kidnapped

Jeremy Sisto is hot but aside from that…YAWN. 

10. The Class

I only wanted to see this because it stars the brilliant Lizzy Caplan but then I actually watched it and realized that even L.Cap can't make this shite tolerable. I should know better than to trust CBS.

Open iTunes and answer the following. Answer, no matter how embarrasing it is.

How many songs: 927

Sort By Song

First Song: 10 Dollar - MIA

Last Song: Your Love - The Prodigy

Sort By Time

Longest Song: Toxic (Armand Van Helden Remix) – Britney Spears (9:30)

Shortest Song (minus interludes): The Sound of Settling – Death Cab For Cutie (2:16) (That was excluding the many South Park songs I have on there!)

Sort By Artist

First Artist: 311

Last Artist: Ying Yang Twins

Sort By Album

First Album: A Fever You Can't Sweat Out – Panic! At The Disco

Last Album: With Teeth - NIN

Top Five Most Played Songs (not including repeat artists):

1. Steppin' Out – Kaskade  (110 times)

2. One Thing - Amerie  (94 times)

3. Lola's Theme – Shapeshifters  (86 times)

4. Call On Me – Eric Prydz  (82 times)

5. Evil – Interpol  (81 times)

First song that comes up on Shuffle: Hollywood - Madonna

Now do a search:

"Death" - How many songs come up? 17

"Love" - How many songs come up? 97

"You" - How many songs come up? 116

"Final" - How many songs come up? 1

"Pain" - How many songs come up? 2

42 of the MOST Random Questions Ever

1. Where were you 1 hour ago?

Driving to work listening to inane gibber on the radio and wishing my iPod worked properly again.

2. Who will be your next kiss?

The first person who tells me they need some hot, hot kissage.

3. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

My shirt is pink. On Fridays I wear pink.  

4. When was the last time you went to the mall?

I went to the Bev Center about 2 weeks ago. I need to go spend a day at the Glendale Galleria – I always end up getting cute shit and spending tons of cash there.

5. Are you wearing socks right now?

Yep, toddler socks.

6. When was the last time you went out of town?

Haha. This question is funny because I NEVER LEAVE LA. I think the furthest away I've been in the last six months was to Santa Barbara. I am seriously due a vacay. Although I still think that living in LA is a permanent vacay.

7. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?

Sadly not. There hasn't been anything I've wanted to see lately. TV is better.

8. What was the last thing you had to drink?

A chilled Arrowhead water. How boring yet healthy of me.

9. What are you wearing right now?

The aforementioned pink tank top, jeans and my awesome grey sweatshirt Cons.

10. Have you been in a car wash?

Yes. It's cool. Like being attacked by a soapy octopus.

11. Last food you ate?

A combo of pretzels and pirate's booty. Mmm, salty.

12. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?

Liz aka Li-Gu aka Superbock

13. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?

No. At some point over the past year I seem to have lost any sense of what kind of clothes I like to buy. I'm stuck in the rut of buying tank tops in every color known to Man.  

14. Do you have a pet?

Nah. I'd like to get a dog someday though.

15. What's the last sporting event you watched?

Probably the snippets of Wimbledon I watched back in June. As for live sports, God, probably a Dodgers game like a year ago.

16. What's one single thing you want to do this week?

Get to the weekend.

17. If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be?

Hawaii

18. What is the last thing you purchased online?

A Simpsons mousepad on eBay

19. How old are your parents?

Err, like 54 or 55? Something like that. But they're still all young and trendy and such. It's quite impressive.

20. what do u want people to think about you?

I dunno. That I'm a cool person to have around.

21. Do you miss anyone?

Yeah, a few people actually.

22. Last play you saw?

Haha. Wow, I'm having to think waaaay too hard about this one. I went to see a comedy sketch show a few months back. Does that count? Otherwise we're going back about 5 years to the Edinburgh Festival. Jesus. I need a bit of culture.

23. What are your plans for the day?

To pass the time at work until I can go home and then go to a house party. Huzzah!

24. who was the last person u commented?

I posted pictures on Liz and Justin's pages.

25. Ever go camping?

Yep, several times. Once in Wales with my parents – it was raining and our tent blew down. An awesome two week camping trip from LA to Seattle. A couple of mini-camping trips near San Luis Obispo. And so on and so forth.

26. Were you an honor roll student in school?

That doesn't exist in England but I'm sure if they'd had it I would've been on it. I is smart.

27.What do you know about the future?

That I'll be in it. And that's good enough.

28. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne?

Not today. I'm not wasting my celeb-endorsed scents on people at work.  

29. What time is it now?

11:50 in the am. Ugh. 6 hours to go.

30. Where is your best friend located?

One's in Chicago, one's painting in WeHo.

31. Do you have a tan?

I did for a while. I need to get back up on my roof this weekend to top up my tan.

32. How old do you want to be when you have kids?

Old enough to be sufficiently grown up and responsible. Who knows when that will be.

33. Do you collect anything?

I have a stellar collection of Buffy/Angel stuff. I also have a habit of keeping movie ticket stubs.

34. Favorite beer?

Blech. Hate beer. Love vodka.

35. Have you ever drank your soda from a straw?

Why yes, I have. I love it because I get to do that thing where you blow the end of your straw wrapper at somebody.

36. How do you like your drinks?

Strong and fruity.

37. Do you like hot sauce?

No. That's grody. I'm down with most condiments though – ketchup, mustard, ranch, I try to avoid saucial discrimination.

38. Last time you took a shower ?

Last night, after I'd been jogging, in the middle of doing laundry and before watching Thursday night TV.

39. Who do you like?

My friends. My parents. People who can write more interesting answers to survey questions than I can.

40. What is your mood?

Bored. Obsessive. Pensive.

41. Are you someone's best friend?

I think so. I hope so. I'm a fan of the whole 'best friend' concept.

42. What's the last TV show you watched?

Last night I watched a marathon of The Office, Project Runway, Ugly Betty and ER. All great stuff.

This is called First Reaction. List the first thing that comes to your mind when reading these 33 words.

1. Cigarettes: Make drinking more fun

2. Relationships: My priority

3. Your Last Ex: Is an awesome person

4. Power Rangers: Gay

5. Marijuana: Stinky

6. Crack: "Say crack again"

7. Food: Cheez-Its!

8. The President: Asshat

9. War: LAME.

10. Cars: Fun to make-out in

11. Gas Prices: Are still cheaper than in England

12. Halloween: Stressful

13.Bon Jovi: Shiny

14. Religion: Too many rules

15. MySpace: Addictive

16. Worst Fear: Loneliness

17. Marriage: Formality

18. Fashion: Cool to observe

19. Brunette: My favorite

20. Redhead: Ginger

21: Work: Means to an end

22: Pass the time: Meandering on the interwebs

23. One night stands: Soulless

24: Cell Phone: Needs upgrading

25: Pet Peeves: Noisy people

26: Pixie Stix: Sugar in a tube? Dumb.  

27: Vanilla Ice Cream: Needs to be mixed with something else

28: Porta Potties: Poowater

29: High school: Good memories

30: Pajamas: Monkeypants

31. Wood: Comes from trees

32. Surfers: Point Break

33. Pictures: I can't take a good self-portrait to save my life

I recently moved to a fantabulous new apartment and consequently have not watched a single minute of network television in over a week. A WEEK! Anyone who knows me will realize what a potentially traumatic turn of events this is. OK, so I went to Kim's house to watch the finale of The Hills and catch up on Project Runway. And a kind soul at work let me watch Hex on his laptop. But that so doesn't count!! The point is that I haven't been watching television in my own home. So what has been the result of this televisual fast, you wonder? Have I written that novel I've always talked about? Read up on quantum physics? Not quite. I was somehow (through absolutely no fault of my own) cajoled into watching the first two seasons of Desperate Housewives. Now, I've never been vehemently anti-DeHo but I certainly wasn't a fan. DH is a show my mum watches and enjoys. End of story. But a mere 20 minutes into watching a random episode with my roomie, I found myself hopelessly charmed by its soapy goodness. And now I face the danger of the Grey's Anatomy and Veronica Mars box sets sitting on the shelf in my living room, two more undiscovered worlds for me to get sucked into, never to leave. Sigh. I deserve some time off from the novel anyway.

Don't get me wrong, I love the summer. I love BBQs, flip flops, popsicles, going to the beach, over-hyped summer movies and having a valid reason to wear tiny skirts. But for all the fun it brings, the beginning of summer is also a time of mourning, a time of loss, because it marks the end of another television season. And this season was like an emotional Six Flags. Ya know, the theme park. With the rollercoasters. But emotional. Yeah. So 24 kicked serious ass. The OC writers went on a 26 episode crack bender and then won back their audience by killing Marissa with a mighty swing of the Mallet of Melodrama. The same people who voted for George Bush allowed assrag Taylor Hicks to win American Idol over the sublime Kat McPhee. The Lost and ER finales rocked beyond the telling. Alias ended forever and in such lackluster fashion that I forgot the time when it was mind-blowingly awesome. And so on, and so forth. The point is, now Ive been plunged headfirst into the entertainment void that is summer programming. However, this year there are some televisual rays of light breaking through the June gloom

First up, there's Hex. It aired in England back in 2004 and has only just made it to BBC America. Way to seize the moment there, guys. Anyway, Hex is essentially the British Buffy - the girl with special powers, chosen to fight fate, the high-school setting, the lesbian best friend, the hot, broody villain lurking in the shadows, the superficial bitch, ghosts, demons, witchcraft, the local nightclub, the supernatural mythology. It's all there, every box has been checked. Of course, the production values are shit and the storytelling is shaky at best. It's not just a poor man's Buffy - it's a bearded, urine-soaked, crazy homeless man's Buffy. And yet its kinda fantastic. Cool British sensibility, snappy dialogue, well drawn characters and an unraveling mystery. Bottom line, Ill take my cult teen dramedy anyway I can get it.

Next up we have MTV's guilty pleasures line-up. Namely, Laguna Beach spin-off, The Hills, and the reality riot that is The Real World/Road Rules Challenge. Now lets get one thing straight here: If you dont watch Laguna Beach because it isnt real or because you dont like to watch stupid, rich kids youre clearly missing the point. It's entertainment people!! Clearly, it's staged, scripted, whatever. Who cares? It's a soap opera. I just want to watch these ridiculously stupid people living their ridiculously fabulous lives in Hollywood hotspots. The producers are clearly laughing at them and consequently so I am. Anyone who's seen the show knows that Lauren's friend, Heidi is a fucking comedy goldmine. And it's only gonna get better when that monkeyfuck Jason shows up again.

Then there's The Real World/Road Rules Challenge. It's pretty simple really. Just take the craziest, sluttiest, dumbest, most volatile people from The Real World and Road Rules, throw them into a house together and make them compete in physical challenges where there's a shitload of money at stake. What you get is the perfect powder-keg of a show where everyone's either fucking or fighting. Genius.

Finally, The Simple Life was resurrected on E! and sees Paris and Nicole becoming the wife in various families. Of course, the fallout of the highly traumatic Paris/Nicole split means that they're never onscreen together. But Paris is still as cute as a blind puppy with diarrhea, Nicole is still delightfully unfiltered and the word 'bitch' is still used at least 63 times per episode. It can sometimes be annoyingly contrived but it's worth it for the odd moments of genuine reality. I mean, come on, Paris driving a golf cart into a lake and squealing "Eww! It smells like crap!"?? That's quality television! Okay, fine, its shit. Turn off the TV and go to the fucking beach :)

Now I'm not a big fan of reality TV. I don't watch Survivor or The Amazing Race or The Bachelor or Extreme Makeover or any of those weird shows that involve the exchanging of family members. Sure, I love me some Laguna Beach but that hardly counts as reality, now does it? And if I still lived in England I'd watch the 24 hr live feed of Big Brother as if my life depended on it, but that's only because BB over there is awesome and nothing like the contrived, regimented, CBSified piece of shit version they make here.

Anyway, there are two reality shows I'm not just watching but am officially, certifiably obsessed with right now. Picture me sitting down in front of my TV on a typical Wednesday night at 8pm. Do I watch my two favorite JJ Abramstastic shows, Alias and Lost? Nope. I watch America's Next Top Model and American Idol. Yep, I choose Tyra Banks over J.Gar. I choose Ryan Seacrest over Matty Fox. DON'T JUDGE ME, PEOPLE! It's beyond my control!! Of course, I TiVo Alias and Lost for later enjoyment but there's just something so immediate and watercoolery about ANTM and AI that I feel if I don't watch them the night they air, they'll become as meaningless as hair product to Simon Cowell. But the biggest pull of reality shows for me is when you get invested in the people, when you find a favorite that you can root for and gush over and cheer on to destroy every other contestant on their road to victory. It's like supporting a sports team, but with more make-up and crazier refs. Anyway, this season I have found two such favorites. On ANTM, it's Joanie. She's hot, she's cool, she's all temperature JoJo, with a grace and humility that janky ass bitches like Jade and Nnenna can only dream of possessing. Her only real competition is Danielle, who I also think is pretty awesome but will ultimately be mowed down by the J-Train. Seriously. If Joanie doesn't win, I'm going after Tyra with the intent of cutting a bitch. Ahem. Meanwhile, on AI, Katherine McPhee is my girl. She doesn't just sing, she performs. She's a veritable Kelly motherfuckin' Clarkson. And she's gonna kick some balding, grey-haired, snaggletoothed redneck ass. Fo realz. That's right. I've got a serious case of McPheever and I ain't looking for a cure. Seriously. If Kat doesn't win, I'm going after Seacrest with the intent of cutting a bitch.

Damn, one of these days I'd like to actually see a celeb OFF the freakin' Fox lot. I work too much. Anyway, today I was delivering dailies in the exec building and was lucky enough to be walking around during a casting session (it's easy to spot because the corridors are littered with pretty people holding script pages and muttering to themselves very self-consciously). So instantly I turn on my CelebRadar and lo and behold, I walk past Shawn Hatosy. Sure, he's pretty C-list but I'm excited because he was in Freddie Prinze Jr/Julia Stiles bomb-com, Down to You, and much more importantly, because he was in the ubercool teen sci-fi, The Faculty. Ok, so it had it's problems, but The Faculty is part of my teen movie canon. It's like The Breakfast Club but with aliens. Hott. God bless you, Kevin Williamson. So yeah, Shawn Hatosy earns instant cool points because he played Stan, the Emilio Estevez-y jock who (quel surprise!) hooks up with Stokely, the Ally Sheedy-esque loner, played by Clea Duvall. And they're actually oddly sweet and sexy together. Although maybe that's just because the only other couple in that movie is Elijah Wood and Jordana Brewster. And eww, no. Wow, I guess I just totally geeked out about The Faculty, huh?