Dearest Diary-

Sometimes I imagine myself wrapped in tulle on the beach listening to Hall and Oats. And I'm slapped back into reality with the blaring sounds of of a lesbian nightclub. Do they all know that even though I have 42 inch shoulders I still like people to buy a drink for me. Also I've noticed the tighter the pants the smarter I feel.

Love and warm poo kisses,

B of IP

 

Wow, i think i partied way too hard at my friends christmas party last night. I vaguely remember waking up over the cat box  pants half way down when my girlfriend yelled : "What are you doing?" ... I replied "Nothing, just looking."

Note to self. Lay off the Frat boy punch tiger.

Till next time,

T-dog

Dear Diary-
What AM I going to where tonite?! I'm over the school girl thing, and the polka dot dress makes me look fat. I need something, something that screams SEX, Diary! Oh, diary what a girl goes through...thank God I only do this on show nites. I hope I remember how to play bass...sometimes I wonder if Lee stares at my rump a shakin' while we're playin'...only Jesus knows, Diary...

More later
Love and warm poo kisses,
Sir Becca

Dear Diary-
Today I relaxed and read Details. I tried a great mentioned facial after my shave. After moisturizing I looked into the mirror and wondered "Where in the gay spectrum do I fit in?" Who needs an answer diary because there's always tomorrow.

Until I'm prettier,
Sir Becca

Dear Diary-

I hate therepy.  I prefer to act on my impulses of desire, but all this "boundry" and "issue" crappola has put a damper on that.  Today I was alone and wrapped myself up in my girlfriends panty and lace listening to old Judy Garland LPs.  Judy knows Diary, Judy knows.  In an act of gender confusion or infusion I did 20 push-ups watching the delicate lace caress the floor while my broad arms swooped me up and then down.  Thank God no one saw...

Diary, question...Is a five finger discount the same a  fist-o-cuff?  Cause if that's what Lee wants, I'm in.

 

More later,

Sir Becca a la Judy

Dear Diary,

T-dog is at like negative 18 on the butch point scale. That's gonna take ALOT of public belching. It's so gross. Especially on stage. And Sir Becca!! I thought we talked about this in band therapy. We CANNOT have any inter band relations. It's bad for stage energy. We're really relying on all that tension..... remember??
ANYWAY, I saw some pink drumsticks down at guitar center. Anyone wanna help me with a five finger discount?
Oh diary when will we be able to afford our gold lame' costumes.
More later,
Lee

Is it wrong to let my girlfriend pluck my neck hairs? She really likes to do it but -  do i lose butch points because of it?

Yeah, gotta be at least two points. But i bet a could get a couple back by belching loudly in a crowded room.

Till next time

Love,

T-Dog

Dear Diary-

I think I totally have a crush on my bandmates. Sometimes I feel funny under my skirt when we're all around. I crush the beer can on my head to make them laugh, but deep inside I just want them to hold me.

Today I affirmed in the mirror I am beautiful and can bench a solid 175 pounds ten times.

Love,
Sir Becca

Dear Diary-

What happens to all the boobies that were cut off by their butchy owners? I wonder if I could get them all and make a boob climbing wall in my kitchen. I do have unusally high ceilings...
Today after my shower and shave I used a nice Aveda skin product that really brought a shine to my face.

Love,
Sir Becca

Dear Diary-

If I pluck my chin hairs, does that make me less butch? Today I looked in the mirror and I thought, "Boy, you look mighty pretty!"

Love,
Sir Becca