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Jen-Jen



Last Updated: 10/11/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 19
Sign: Gemini

City: MECHANICSBURG
State: Pennsylvania
Country: US
Signup Date: 11/16/2005

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Thursday, December 21, 2006 

Current mood:  cheerful
Okay! Just because I'm bored, and I feel survey-ish, I'm reposting this. But still not as a bulletin. They're annoying and nobody reads them.

 THIS YEAR: 2006*

[PEOPLE]
best friend:  Too many lol. I'm not gonna list; you should know if you're my best friend or not. :P
lost any friends: Oh yeah
gained any friends:  loots and lots and lots

[PLACES]
went out of the country:  Um.. not yet.. but I will in a week
moved:  Nope, stayed here
new school:  Also nope
how many times on an airplane:  This year? Besides riding with JJ? ... none, I think.. as of right now anyway

[HAVE YOU]
have you changed:  I have
new look:  I got my hair chopped off, that good enough for you?
most depressed time this year:  Hmm.. I'd say it's a tie between end of January/beginning of February, and end of September/all of October.
best time this year:  April - now, not including end of September - beginning of November. (confused yet? lol)

[LOVE]
did you get heart broken:  I did
who was your summer love:  Do you need to ask? :D

[SEASONS]
favorite Season:  Summer!
least favorite season:  Hm.. fall I'd say. Too wet.
good birthday?:  Best birthday EVER EVER EVER
any snow this year:  not yet (ignoring the snow in the beginning winter months)

[FINAL QUESTIONS]
got arrested:  Nope, but I did get in trouble
had a crush:  Uh.. duh? 'Course I did
got dumped:  Yep
lost a family member: Not that I know of..
got bad grades:  Yeah, unfortunately
got a myspace:  Em.. I think so.. I don't remember when I got this thing
kept a secret:  Yeppers
told a secret:  Mmhm :/
done something you totally regret:  Yeah, but I try not to regret too much

In 2006 I...

[x] broke a promise
[x] made a new best friend
[x] fallen out of love
[x] lied
[ ] went behind your parents back
[x] cried over a broken heart
[x] disappointed someone close
[x] hid a secret
[x] pretended to be happy
[x] kissed in the rain
[ ] cuddled under the stars
[x] kept your new years resolution
[x] forgot your new years resolution
[x] met someone who changed your life
[ ] met one of your idols
[x] changed your outlook on life
[x] sat home all day doing nothing
[x] pretended to be sick
[not yet] left the country
[ ] almost died
[ ] given up something important to you
[ ] lost something expensive
[x] learned something new about yourself
[x] tried something you normally wouldnt try and liked it
[x] made a change in your life
[x] found out who your true friends were
[x] met great people
[x]stayed up till sunrise
[ ] pigged out over the summer
[x] cried over the silliest thing
[ ] was never home on weekends
[ ] got into a car accident
[x] had friends who were drifting away from you
[x] had someone close to you die
[ ] had a high cell phone bill
[ ] wasted most of my money on food
[ ] had a fist fight
[ ] went to the beach
[ ] saw a celebrity
[x] gotten sick
[ ] liked more than 5 people at the same time
[x] became closer to a lot of people

Yay surveys :D
Currently listening:
The Lost Christmas Eve
By Trans-Siberian Orchestra
Release date: 12 October, 2004
6:51 AM 
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Friday, December 08, 2006 

Current mood:  cheerful
Well hello there, all my peeps. And how is life treating you?

It's been very, very kind to me lately. Unfortunately, I can't say why as of now, but those closest to me already know. :D

Other things.. yeah, this is a random entry on myspace instead of xanga. But that's only cause I feel like it.

Falling asleep while cookies are in the oven is not a good thing to do.

Self-defense is finally over. Now we get to go to the weight room. And it's co-ed. What fun. What a blast. *sarcasm*

I have multiple Christmas songs stuck in my head.

Flibble now lives at the top of my little christmas tree.

My license test is in a week.

And Costa Rica in three!

Um... that's it I suppose.

*shrug* This entry really has no point to it. But oh well. My entries tend not to have points.

Much <3!
4:48 AM 
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Sunday, October 22, 2006 

Current mood:  crushed
...
Goddamnit do I miss the summer
7:48 PM 
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Tuesday, October 10, 2006 

Current mood:  pissed off
I find it kind of funny that every time anybody's ever truly pissed me off, they've always apologized as soon as possible afterwards.

Hah. Hahaha.

^ *sarcasm* ^

Hey guys, guess what, I may get over Matt faster than I thought.
Currently listening:
The Downward Spiral [Deluxe Edition]
By Nine Inch Nails
Release date: 23 November, 2004
2:08 AM 
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Sunday, October 01, 2006 

Current mood:  melancholy
I typed the following in Word. It can be seen as philosophical, deep.. almost artistic. I let myself out into the program. So please, if you can't say anything nice about it don't say anything at all. I really can't handle negativity right now.

Begin:


So.

This is how life is going to be.

Full of wanting things. Full of desire. Full of things that you can't have.

It will always be that way. When you get what you want, you will want more. When you lose what you have, you will want it back. It's a vicious cycle. You make your own life miserable to live because you want forbidden things.

Forbidden because he doesn't feel the same way. Forbidden because you can't afford it. Forbidden because it's illegal. Forbidden because it's not your time yet. Whatever the reason, it's always not allowed in some way.

I could give so many examples.

I want an excellent art camera.

I want a stuffed penguin for my car.

I want to dress up and turn heads.

I want to say I have read all the books I own.

I want to get over my fear of singing in public.

I want my license.

I want all the real CD versions of the songs I downloaded.

I want my room remodeling to finally be finished.

I want more time so I can spend all the time I want doing whatever I want. But I also want less time so I can experience college and the real world.

I want all the T-shirts I have saved in my favorites.

I want to upload my entire website for the world to see.

I want to be inspired to make some artwork.

I want all my game characters to be the best they can possibly be. I want newbies to look up to me and be impressed with my mere appearance. I want mounts.

I want to find a guy who doesn't mind gaming and taking pictures together and holding hands in the hallways at school and staying up talking till one in the morning.

I want to go to a beach.

I want to visit Italy and Japan and Greece and England.

I want another puppy.

I want to figure out how to make my headset work.  

I want an authentic sword.

I want more space on my walls to decorate.

I want to be able to speak what's on my mind without having to worry about losing or upsetting somebody.

I want watermelon.

I want to be able to recognize what color makeup looks good with what kinds of clothing without looking cheap.

I want to decorate for Halloween without having to get the decorations out of the basement.

I want to sing the songs I love and the songs that mean how I feel without being cheesy.

I want friends to come over without warning and give me a comfort session.

I want to get over him and him to come back to me at the same time.

I want to mean the world to somebody.

I want to find the love of my life. I want to get married. I want to lose my virginity to the right man. I want to have children, and raise those children with all my heart.

I want to die a loved woman.

I want to be happy.

See..

Every single one of those things is not allowed to me in some way.

But most of all, I'm not allowed love. I could be. But the boy who has my heart took his away from me. He knows it. And he's gentle about it. But he doesn't realize that it doesn't help me get over him. It is incredibly hard to fall out of love.  

So most of all..

I want to forget.  

3:22 AM 
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Friday, September 15, 2006 

Current mood:  chipper
I have an announcement to make!
(xanga readers, disregard, you probably already read this)

Reniassance Faire! I don't care who goes. I really don't. But you all must cooperate with each other, I don't know if any of you hate anybody else who might possibly go. And I'd prefer it if you went because you actually like the Faire, not just because it's a group of friends/you have nothing better to do/so-and-so is going/etc. I have yet to decide when we're going (probably the halloween weekend), but you'd have to buy your own ticket and we'd be gone the whole day. Mom's just the chaperone. Comment me if you'd like to go.

STRONG HINT: If you do go, I highly recommend you go in some sort of costume. It is 100x more fun if you do. And I'm going in the same wench outfit I wore to last year's. Just to give you an idea of what to wear. But, hell, you can just go in a really big black cloak and say you're an executioner or something. There are rental shops there, if you don't want to buy one.

You have ~one month to decide.

That is all :D
3:14 AM 
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Monday, September 11, 2006 

Current mood:  pissed off
Ok guys, I am in need of your assistance. Mostly, I need something - or someone - to hold my temper back.

I am pissed, and for once, Matt is the cause.

Alright, so the basic story behind it is, on Friday, in the part of the cafeteria where you buy your food, Matt had tried to get my attention, right? He claims that I had looked right at him and give him a 'flirty look', then kept walking. He says he even called after me. So now, he thinks I ignored him on purpose, even though I've said multiple times that it was completely unintentional. He won't believe me for shit. It really, seriously, was honest-to-god-poke-my-eyeballs-out-if-I'm-lying accidental.

So far, since then, he's yelled at me for sqeaking while Cassidy was poking me ("Jen! Calm the fuck down!"), given me THE dirtiest look I've EVER gotten, acted as if I knew damn well what the problem was, walked a stride ahead of me and talked over his shoulder, and didn't even say g'bye when he went to his next class.

The weekend passed, we didn't organize anything. He claims it was because he got loaded with homework, I suspect otherwise. He seemed fine online yesterday, even though he didn't reply when I said 'I love you' at the end of the conversation.

And today, I didn't get a single smile from him, a less than enthusiastic greeting every time I ran into him, he again walked a full stride ahead of me so I couldn't catch up and so I couldn't even talk to him (even when I asked him to slow down).. overall, he's pretty much treated me like an annoying shitty little sister today

I mean, I got more of a real hug from Steve, and Quinn was being nicer and was paying more attention than he was.

I am unbelieveably pissed. First off, I hardly believe unintentionally ignoring him deserves this kind of treatment three fucking days later. And if he tries to lay it on not liking to display affection in public, he's gonna get my full fury. He didn't even hold my hand today. In fact, he acted as if he hardly knew me, and was embarrassed to be seen with me.

So, because of this, I am actually very hurt. I mean, apparently I don't mean enough to him to even walk together properly anymore. I knew that he didn't like little kisses in public, and I was willing to live with that, but it's gone a tad bit too far right now, don'tcha think?

So, I'm needing people to rant to, to see where I'm coming from, and offer fair advice, or maybe try to explain what the hell is going on in that fucking mind of his.

The trick: Breaking up - or anything that would involve breaking up - is not an option. Not. An. Option. Nope. No sir. In fact, that is exactly what I'm trying to avoid, which is why you're reading this in the first place. Otherwise I would have exploded at his face, and that wouldn't have been pretty. And I want my old Matt back.

Soo.. comments ahoy, I suppose?
Currently playing:
WORLD OF WARCRAFT FOR PC
Release date: 15 November, 2006
8:11 PM 
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Wednesday, September 06, 2006 

Current mood:  sleepy
Well now.

I don't know how many of you MySpace readers read my xanga, but I'll just say not many.

Matt is fine now. I think you pretty much assumed that, judging by the lack of depressing entries. A week from today is five months! A record! And pretty damn impressive for a high school relationship, I'd say *nod*

Things are pretty shaky in pretty much every aspect since school started, but I'm confident things will turn out fine.

I know it's only early September, but I'm already on the lookout for things for my Halloween costume this year. You can never start looking too early. I'm going to be a black cat. And, if all goes well, if Matt can go Trick-or-Treating with us, he would go as death, so together, we'd be Bad Luck. XD

There's a little voice inside my head that tells me that this school year is going to r0xx00r everyone's s0xx00rz.

And, for those of you who *do read my xanga, listen to the song on my profile page and tell me the lyrics don't sound familiar in some way. :P

Em.. I dunno what else to say that wouldn't be repetitive. And I promised Matt I'd get to bed before 12 this week, so I'd feel better during the day. So, to bed I go.

Much <3!
3:43 AM 
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Sunday, July 23, 2006 

Current mood:  cold
*sigh* I don't really know how more things can go wrong right now

Well, I suppose I could crash my car, my house could burn down, and my family could be slaughtered, which would force me to move in with my grandparents in Erie. But that's worst case scenario.

Benny had a seizure last night. I'd never been so scared in my life. We went to the emergency vet at five in the morning. He's fine now, but, mphle. He was frothing at the mouth and everything.

Matt has been acting stranger and stranger. According to him, things are moving too fast. We need to slow down a bit. We're too close. I sort of understand what he's talking about, but he's been shoving me aside and ignoring how *I feel about this for too long. He and I are in for a talk. I'm actually getting aggrivated now. So, I don't really need comforting.

School starts again in a month. I was looking forward to it a week ago. I dunno why, I just was. Now, not so much. I don't want to have to see Matt every day again until we get something figured out. I want to know what I'm allowed to do without him telling me 'no'. I mean, all I did at the pool today was nuzzle his arm a bit, and he pulled it away and said 'Jen.. no'.

And now, little bitty things that don't really make an impact in the world, but since they're going wrong also, they're making me even more irritable:

I cut myself on my hip while I was shaving. My *hip. Right where the elastic line of underwear rubs. It hurts like hell.

I'm out of money. I can't buy squat. Which really sucks, because retail therapy is one of the few things that makes me feel infinately better.

Matt's birthday is in a little more than a week, and I'm killing myself trying to find a good gift for him. With the money that I don't have, remember. I don't even know if I'll be invited to be at his house on his actual birthday, at the rate things are going.

My ears are acting up again. And I have a huge rash on my finger where my ring used to be, that won't go away.

I am not inspired to do anything. Chores, drawing, reading, cleaning, playing with the dog, anything. I know there's lots that I could do, but nobody wants to do anything when they're in a bad mood, and you can only do fun things by yourself so many times.

I haven't really hung out with any of my other friends for weeks. You guys all just seem so busy, or having so much fun with other people, I hate to disturb you. Just.. I dunno.

I have to shell out $200 - with the money that I still don't have - to pay for the video card that fixed Compy. Dad's also going to make me start paying off the car soon. And JJ wants me to buy his sub off of him for $400. Before he leaves for college in a few weeks.

And there's lots more I could think up to rant about here.. but I don't want to bother you guys with things you probably don't care about in the first place. But, what else are journals for, right?

Ok.. I'm gonna go change clothes, since I'm still freezing from the pool, and go downstairs to stuff myself with microwaveable bacon, and work a bit.

Have a nice day, everyone. Really, I mean it. I hope your lives aren't as complicated as mine. Go outside, take a walk, read in a tree, play some frisbee, fall asleep on the lawn. It's a beautiful day. If I wasn't feeling so mopey (which is stupid, I know), I'd do that myself.

Oh well. I've got work to do.

Much <3, world
Currently listening:
Have a Nice Day
By Bon Jovi
Release date: 20 September, 2005
8:19 PM 
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Monday, July 17, 2006 

Current mood:  chipper
Whee, a survey. I didn't want to post it in a bulletin though, cause I don't like bulletins.

A Rainbow of Questions in the Sky of Your Life!


*Red*
Closest red thing to you?: The feather in my reniassance hat
Last thing to make you angry?: Being too damn hot at the concert
Do you have a temper?: Yep, exactly the same as my brother's, just harder to set off
Last warning you were given?: Em.. to not poke my mom with my black sharpie
Ever been in love?: Yep *^^*
Are you a fan of romance?: Yar.

*Orange*
Closest orange thing to you?: The stripes on the pretzel bag
Do you like to burn things?: Mwaahahahaha
Dress up for halloween?: Of course.
Are you usually a warm-hearted person?: Yep
Do you have anything against ginger hair?: Er, no?
Are you usually full of energy?: Yaryar.

*Yellow*
Closest yellow thing to you?: There is absolutely nothing yellow in my room
The happiest time of your life?: Now, wheeee
Favourite holiday?: Er.. either halloween or christmas
What makes you smile?: Stuff :D
Are you a coward?: At times
Do you burn or tan?: Tan, bitches
.
*Green*
Closest green thing to you?: The post-it note with Elora's WoW character name
Do you care about the environment?: I'm a tree hugger, what do  you think?
Are you jealous of anyone right now?: emm.. nope
Are you a lucky person?: Yes, foosha
Do you always want what you can't have?: No, not really.. I want what I can't afford
Do you like being outdoors?: Yay butterflies

*Blue*
Closest blue thing to you?: My pepsi can
Are you good at calming people down?: I dunno, possibly
Do you like the sea?: Yes, when I can see the bottom.. I don't like murky water
Last thing to make you cry?: You don't want to know
Are you a logical thinker?: When I'm bored, sometimes I over-logicalize the world
Can you sleep easily?: When I'm tired, yep

*Purple*
Closest Purple thing to you?: My DRR top
Like being treated to expensive things?: By my family.. I like it also from other people, but I expect myself to pay them back
Do you like mysterious things?: Yes, they're very mysterious
Favourite type of chocolate?: Milk :D
Ever met anyone in royalty?: Nope
Are you creative?:  Yep

*Pink*
Closest pink thing to you?: The pink poof on my desk
Are you gay/bisexual?: Proud bi
Do you like sweet foods?: When I have sweet cravings, yes
Like play-fighting?: Yep, actually
Are you sensitive?: Very
Do you like punk music?: I dunno, never heard real punk

*White*
Closest white thing to you?: My panties
Would you say you're innocent?:  aahahahahaahaano
Always try to keep the peace?: Pretty much yeah
How do you imagine your wedding, if you want one?: Er.. happy? loving? wedding-like?
Do you like to play in the snow?: SNOW AAHAHAHHH *romp*
Are you afraid of going to the doctors or dentists?: Nope, I just don't really like being prodded in intimate areas whenever I have physicals

*Black*
Closest black thing to you?: My keyboard.. and mouse.. and moniter.. and speakers.. and CPU.. hell, all of Compy's  black
Ever enjoy hurting people?: Only when they deserve it
Are you sophisticated or silly?: Both I think
Afraid of death?: Yep
Would you like to go to space?: That'd be pretty
Do you have a lot of secrets?: Not many that I'm good at keeping

*And as the day draws to a close...*
What is your favourite colour?: Purple
Does the colour you wear affect your mood?: Nope
What colour are your bedroom walls?: Purple :D
You prefer contrasting or harmonizing colours?: Harmonizing (I like that word.. it sounds hippie-esque)
Do you like to paint?:  Yeah,  but I suck at it
What colour would you think best symbolises your personality?: I dunno, light blue?

Well then, yay for surveys

In other quick updates, I went to my first concert tonight and it PWNZ00000RED XD

Hehehe.. w00t

Er.. Matt's back to normal now, just so you know.

And.. um.. I can't think of anything else

Soo, I shall leave you to your peace

Much <3 world :D
7:16 AM 
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