Dear Fans and Friends of Cretin,
I'm writing to you to confirm the news you may, or may not, have read in the July '08 issue of Decibel Magazine (45), or various locations around the internet. If you haven't seen the news, here it is, as reported by www.blabbermouth.net on May 28th, 2008.
CRETIN Front(wo)man Changing The Gender Rules Of Extreme Music, One Plastic Surgery At A Time - May 28, 2008
Vocalist/guitarist Dan Martinez of the Bay Area grindcore trio CRETIN was interviewed for the July 2008 issue (45) of Decibel magazine (web site) about his decision to undergo gender reassignment surgery, essentially erasing his entire past as he set out to find the woman he always was.
"From the age of 13 on, any transgender feelings I had were lived as a fetish or a fantasy," explains Marissa (as Dan is now known). (At the time of Decibel's interview, Marissa is seven months into being a full-time woman, meaning the government recognizes her legal sex change with a new driver's license, social security card, medical records, etc.) "It was never more than wearing pantyhose or whacking it on the Internet, really. At the same time, I was imprisoned in a sense — a woman trapped in a man's body. I am significantly different now. I don't want to deny my past, but at the same time I'm sad that I lost my girlhood."
As supportive as he is of Dan's decision to begin a new life as Marissa, CRETIN bassist Matt Widener admits he has a hard time hanging out with her sometimes because he hasn't been able to separate Martinez's two identities just yet.
"It's especially hard for me, because I saw [Dan's] face mature from boyhood to manhood," confesses Widener. "I know every feature of that face, so when I look at Marissa sometimes, I still see Dan because I have all those old memories — memories I refuse to give up. She's not Dan as a woman, though. She's a completely new woman."
CRETIN's live guitarist Matt Harvey hasn't known Marissa for as long as Widener by any means, but he does have enough memories of "eating pizza, watching horror movies and talking about chicks" with Dan to toughen the mental transition between the two. "It's kinda trippy," admits Harvey. "You have an old friend, but you're starting from scratch in a way. I feel weird about it in my own head — not about Marissa; about the dynamic — but once I see her, I'm like, 'Obviously, you're not Dan. You're a woman. Duh.'"
Once Marissa turns 33, she will be eligible for the sex reassignment surgery (SRS) needed to replace Dan's penis with everything but ovaries. Anatomically speaking, Marissa will appear to be a woman but unable to reproduce. Further breast and facial surgeries are also planned to make the physical changes even more pronounced.
As for where she's at emotionally, Marissa classifies herself as a straight woman (Dan never identified himself as homosexual either) who's been attracted to men since the hormones truly kicked in.
Decibel exclusive story on Dan Martinez's decision to become a woman can be found in the magazine's July 2008 issue (45), due to hit newsstands June 5.
This news, and the article in Decibel, are both completely true. I can assure you that this is no publicity stunt. I had honestly reached the end of being able to keep up the charade of living my life as a man.
The fact that I've always been a woman trapped in a man's body is a secret that I have kept from my friends, family, and to some degree even myself, for the last 20 years. But through therapy and the loving support of my friends and family, I have finally been able to release that secret and start living life honestly and correctly.
I know this news may come as a shock and that you may have many questions. I'm more than happy to answer any and all questions, but please don't try to contact me through myspace. I don't have an account. Instead, I have already answered a number of questions at the following link. Please feel free to check it out, and post any of your own questions if you would like.
http://www.reeelapse.com/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=16329&st=0&sk=t&sd=a
You may also email directly at marissamartinez@pacbell.net
Before I go, let me just tell you that Cretin is not dead. We have been on hiatus for the last year while I transitioned. But we plan to continue in the near future. I will still be the vocalist and guitar player, as hormones do not change the shape of the voice box. I can still belt out the same vocals as I did before.
Thank you to everyone who has loved and supported our band for the last few years. And thank you to everyone who has shown me such tremendous support after learning this news.
I wouldn't have the confidence to do what I need to do, without you.
Sincerely,
Marissa Martinez