so yea this last week or so has been the worst of my life. the reason i can come to such a conclusion: the greatest person i had ever known died on April 30th, 2006 at 10:58 a.m. my grandma. She was seriously the best person i had ever known and i know that i have to get her story off my chest just to show how great she really was and idk maybe i can grieve better by writing it.
it all started in the summer of 1998. my grandma was a firecely indepent women. if she wanted to do somethin, she would do it. that summer tho, alot changed. She was diagnosed with lung cancer from years of smoking. (a little funny side story was that when i was 6 i got a book on how bad smoking was and just came out and asked my grandma to please stop smoking. as hard as it was she did stop all because a little 6 year old asked her once.) the only way to get the cancer out was to remove her lung. it was a risky operation and thankfully she got through it all good and by the time school started back up she was back home.
everything was going good until late 2001-2002 my grandma would develop pneumonia every winter. thankfully every winter she got through it and everything would be alright.
Then in December 2005, she was readmitted. i remember that night clearly bcuz this time it wasnt for pneumonia. my grandmas heart started going. the only way for her to get better was to get a pacemaker. she wasnt sure if she wanted to get one bcuz of all the constant goin into and out of the hospital had really taken its toll. but the one thing my grandma lived for was her grandchildren. one night me and my cousin jon went to her and begged her to get the pacemaker. After some thinkin she told me mom and aunts that she would get it. The day of her operation my brother and i got to stay home and go to the hospitial and wait for her to get out of surgery. that was a few days before winter break and the only thing on our minds was if our grandma would pull through and not of what kind of gifts we would get and what we would do while we were off. the operation took about four hours to get through and she made it. i as able to go in and see her (another thing i forgot to mention was that becuz she only had one lung, she couldnt be put to sleep durning any operation bcuz if that lung went the doctors could nothin about it) and she was so happy she had gotten it done.
on december 24th, xmas eve, my grandma was told by doctors that she would be going home. it was such a great gift for her bcuz every xmas was always spent in the lounge in the hosptial. me and my brother went down to my dads house in cincinnati but the min i got there at about 4 in the morning i called to make sure everything was okay.
then about feb. my mom got a call from my grandma saying she needed her to come over. i had nothin goin on that night so i came over too. the minute we walked into the house we could tell she needed medical attention. her legs had swelled so much that she couldnt even put her shoes on to go to the emergency room. we finally got to the hospital and we ended up staying there till about 3 in the morning. i desperatly wanted to stay home from school but my grandma wanted me to go so i listened to her and even tho i was tired as hell i knew that i couldnt stay home and make her angry. the next few months was a rollercoster of her coming close to death and then springin back. it was hell on both my aunts and uncles and my mom as well as me who would go up almost everday to see her.
about a week before spring break my aunt had to take her to had a pacemaker checkup and see if anything was ok. the min my grandma got out of the car she fainted and her 74 year old face landed with a smack on the pavement. when the paramedics came to pick her up (she was only about 40 feet from the hospital) she apoligized endlessly to them for all the work. i think after that everyone in my family knew it was the end or at least close to it.
the last time i saw my grandma alive was last wed. she had a face mask on and couldnt talk but the day before she was asking me what kind of tux i was wearing to prom so i assumed that when i saw her next everthing would be fine. i dont think words could express how much my grandma meant to me and all my cousins and aunts and uncles. today and yesterday was the wake and the funeral i had to be a paulbearer. and there must of been about 300 people there.
she was a big influence on me and whatever i did. she would never miss anything i did as fall as baseball,basketball and band concerts. she would tell me all the time whever i spent the night at her house (which was alot) she would take me out to dinner and ask me how everything was. i could tell her stuff that i would never tell my own parents or anyone that close to me. so if u read this all the way though thanks. the next few days will def suck but if i know my grandma she would want me to go on and she would apoligize for all my rambling i just did.
p.s. on a side note im listening to a song called "Time Turn Fragile" by Motion City Soundtrack and a lyric just hit me that reminds me of my grandma: "One day ill fail to breathe, and all you'll have are memories." idk i felt that was important....