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Last Updated: 3/17/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: Married
Age: 39
Sign: Taurus

City: All across the USA
State: Connecticut
Country: US
Signup Date: 6/4/2008

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Thursday, June 19, 2008 

Current mood:  frustrated
Category: Life
Let's talk about shrinking our carbon footprint today.

No, really.

Ok, maybe I'm being a little bit sarcastic here, but I do have some observations on the matter, and so I'm going to share them. Don't try to stop me. By the time you read this, I will have already written the entire article, and then what? After all that I'm gonna delete it? No. It's going right here. But I digress... again...

So, I normally drive to work. Alone. Typically at speeds in excess of 55mph. With a lot of rapid acceleration and breaking. And frequently with the added wind resistance of one hand sticking out the window, plus the added resistance of the longest of my fingers extended.

Yeah, you get the point. I'm not exactly a granola eating, prius driving tree hugger. Though with gas prices going the way they are, I'd certainly consider a prius, as long as they can weave quickly through the maze of idiots on the roads I tend to travel. Maybe a Tesla Roadster... The point is, I'll be green as long as it doesn't degrade my quality of life any. (Take note, environmentalists - though they may not say it outright, most people think like I do on that front.)

Today, I even took the bus. Why? Because I had to be somewhere else today, and taking the bus there was actually more convenient than driving there, dealing with even worse idiots than I normally have to deal with, paying tolls out the ass, and then paying an extra $30 to park for the day. All so I could sit through a meeting that I really didn't want to sit through.

So, I'm thinking, ok, this sucks, but at least I won't have to drive. Too bad more idiots didn't take the bus. then I'd have less traffic to deal with on my daily commute. Oh well. With gas prices going the way they are, maybe everybody will start doing that soon. I bet they'll be doing things to make using public transportation more attractive now. Maybe bus attendants that'll bring you peanuts and coffee or a handjob or something.

You can imagine my surprise when I parked my car in the commuter lot and saw that, in this once free lot, I now have to f$$!@%!$@%$&&%$%$$@&^*%&%$$ PAY TO PARK AND TAKE THE F@@!$@$%&$&$^@!$%^ BUS?!?!? ARE YOU S@$@^%&$@@HITTING ME?!?!?

Needless to say, this irritated me.

So, our economy sucks ass. The "R" word is being tossed around with greater frequency (that's "recession" for those readers who's job involves a tip cup out there). Gas prices are through the roof. Retail prices are going up because of transportation costs. Apparently there was a bad wheat crop or something and now flour prices are sky high. And I can only imagine what these floods in Iowa are going to do to the price of corn... And why do I feel like the price increase will not be directly related to the supply reduction if crops were damaged?

So what is the nation doing about it?

Well, let's see... We've raised bus ticket prices. Ok, I understand gas costs are higher. I can live with that one.

We scrap the free commuter lot and charge everybody a few bucks to take the bus instead of driving.

I got an email this morning warning me that one state is about to start a speeding ticket blitzkreig (WWII Nazi Germany reference intentional).

I heard another state is actually considering RAISING the gas tax.

So, what's the word of the day? BOHICA. It's an acronym. It means "Bend Over, Here It Comes Again." Use it today. Use it every day. It's easy if you just pay attention to what's going on around you.

I need a F@@!$@$%&$&$^@!$%^ happy hour. NOW. What the hell... I'm not driving today.
2:50 PM 
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Tuesday, June 10, 2008 

Current mood:  hot
I don't really have much to say at the moment, but I did just stumble across this. It's an oldie, but a true classic. It's funny because it's true. So, I'm gonna take the easy way out. -c, -v and I'm done, and you're gonna laugh and say this was my best post yet.

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and as many eggs as the regulations say you should need.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

SINGAPOREAN DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The government fines you for keeping two unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.

MILITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

AMERICAN DEMOCRACY: The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate".

BRITISH DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. You feed them sheeps' brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows..

ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to kill you and take the cows.

CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

HONG KONG CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly - listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother - in - law at the bank, then execute a debt / equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the fung shiu is bad.

ENVIRONMENTALISM: You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them.

FEMINISM: You have two cows. They get married and adopt a veal calf.

TOTALITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

COUNTER CULTURE: Wow, dude, there's like... these two cows, man. You got to have some of this milk.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

LIBERTARIANISM: You have two cows. One has actually read the constitution, believes in it, and has some really good ideas about government. The cow runs for office, and while most people agree that the cow is the best candidate, nobody except the other cow votes for her because they think it would be "throwing their vote away."
1:50 PM 
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