http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gaTf5dN124E

And I'm tired of the same old things
being done the same old way
i've done them time and time again each round
just like before.

the feelings never change ya know
they wax and wane but always prove
to have the same effect upon my heart
as years before.

----

and the only thing thats changed since then
is where the moon hangs there in the sky
i still wrestle the same old questions and
grapple with the same old lies

asking the age old question of old age
where is the hill you cross over with time?
how does one get where they are going
when do you know when you're arrived?

i want to be satisfied.

----



turning a new leaf one day
then turning the old once more
but sometimes its ok to be reminded
of how things are

as time goes on time stands still
and i stand in the here in the middle
there's a yearning here in my feet to run on passed
the same ole trees

----

and the only thing thats changed since then
is where the moon hangs there in the sky
i still wrestle the same old questions and
grapple with the same old lies

asking the age old question of old age
where is the hill you cross over with time?
how does one get where they are going
when do you know when you're arrived?
i want to be satisfied.

----

i want all things made anew
all things fresh and true
i am resolute in this


Mandi Holmes (C) Copyright 2009

Ok i couldn't resist!
I planed to go to bed really really early tonight, BUT i have to write this before it loses its vigor.... or i lose mine.

2008 came as a full package. Discoveries made and memories etched in my personal history. In October I shared with everyone a bit of the sorrows which joined me on this journey, but now I chose to reflect on the deep and long-lasting lessons learned along the way. Many of these thoughts came to me through wise and well-meaning friends from several generations and backgrounds.. and, admittedly, it was only after I had an experiential knowledge of the subject matter that I, too, adopted them as my own. However, many of these thoughts are the pure result of my own curiosity.

The First: "Life is short"

Life is more than breathing in and out and the rhythm of a beating heart. It is eternal, everlasting, and at any moment you can pass from one phase into the next. Most of its seasons are spent on Earth building friendships and romances, growing up and learning the things of God in the littlest of bits one at a time. The last phase(s) to be spent elsewhere. True life, being eternal and only possible through the death and resurrection of Jesus, extends from this world into the real one... one that is perfect. With a perfect government and perfect community, and perfect oneness with God. I know nothing of what it looks like or how it feels... only that my eyes and hands and current human senses are too finite and illsuited to understand it. And that I know personally and with confidence that when I, by the grace of God, reach that next world, I will be in beautifully good company.

The Second: "Without thy sweet mercy I could not live here, sin would reduce me to utter despair. But through thy free goodness my spirits revive and He who first made me still keeps me alive." -- Caedmon's Call "Thy Mercy"

Given our total depravity and utter lack of motivation, goodness, self control, and all things lovely, we cannot live life alone. We need the very living Spirit of God to move in our hearts, minds, spirits, and bodies in order to carry on through an often tumultuous sea of submissions followed by misunderstandings, self-centered darkness leading to contrition, and intermingling of joy and pain. We find it most often when we are in relationship with other believers. The Spirit IN one communing with the Spirit IN another to bless and encourage. It is the mercy of God that such a thing is possible.

Thirdly: "short but true"
Loneliness and intimacy exist within the same human experience. One is not the "end all" for the other. Short of living face-to-face with Jesus himself, one's life will always keep them well aquatinted with the incurable human condition of loneliness.

Last (for now): "Love"
Now this is the big one. Relationships are tricky. But here's the thing about love, real love. You don't wait until you know what love is and how to operate in it before you live in any relationship. Rather, relationships TEACH a person HOW to love. they're the experiential crash-corse in a hands-on learning-style class room of God's very being. after all... The Word doesn't say that "God FEELS love" or that "God DOES love" but, more intensely, "God IS love."


ok. I think that's just about it.

if it's your will that i not make it through
and the prayers that fall from my lips prove
to be, last words of my life

let it be this stretch of wilderness
that serves as my path home to bliss
and take me, hungry, and alone.


but if you see to bring me onward from this desert sand
please make for me, from tumbleweeds, a feast a joy instead
strengthen me with winds of change and dunes of sorrows passed
i'll take whichever road to chose - though i dont understand. you.


like your son, i find myself here now
where the hunger proves a mighty power
help me, to make the choice he made.

b'cause temptation comes to everyone
conviction kept me safe from some
but i was born to nature otherwise inclined.


so if you see to bring me onward from this desert sand
please make for me, from tumbleweeds, a feast a joy instead
strengthen me with the winds of change and dunes of sorrows passed
i'll take whichever road to chose - though i dont understand. you. love.


blessings,
mh

Mandi Holmes (C) Copyright 2009

Hey out there!
Im working on new stuff all the time and thought i'd let you in on some of what's going on.

currently working on putting together the 2009 calendar of evens so do keep posted!
if you're NOT in the DFW area and want to see me live - LET ME KNOW and i'll come SEE YOU!!!

as far as new music goes, my favorite right now is a tune im working on with the help of my buddies Justin Lue and Ty Richards called "Panic" and i really thing you'll like it. it's a big step in a new direction for me and im really liking where it takes the over all sound.. and it just might influence some of the other tunes i've been working on.

Resume, Emery, and Morning Fanny Jane are all songs i've been playing live for the past year and haven't gotten to formally record or craft. I hope to really do more with them in the coming year as well as with Winter, Speak, and Love.

The other tune i'm pretty stoked about is one called "So Long/Old Friend." this is actually a song i wrote in a daydream about a month and a half ago. It takes place in the future, singing about the past... which in many ways is today, and the next several years that might come. and again, i think its about a concept with which most people can truly relate.

well, that's it!
again, if you're outside DFW and want to see me live, let me know and i'll COME TO YOUR TOWN!

have a blessed Christmas!
<3 mh

Well friends, fans, random internet junkies...
We've seen the passing of another Thanksgiving. My Turkey Day was a rather blessed one, despite the attempts at ruin and dysfunction. My mother and I started off by checking in on the news of the terror attacks in Mumbai - where we have several friends. Thankfully (word of the season) they were all healthy and out of harms way, to an extent. I'll be the first to admit that I spend entirely too much time on facebook - but it was a Godsend in this case b/c it was the only connection I had with my friends in India during what I can only describe as "the chaos of being an entire WORLD removed from my heart." None the less, communication was established, everyone was well, and I went about my familiar holiday obligations at not one, not two, but three Thanksgiving gatherings. SHEEESH!

ON THE NOTE OF INDIA FOR A MOMENT: As many of you know, I'v been to Mumbai, India 4 times and have a number of friends there. Many of the places that were hit happened to be regular destinations for our foreign teams and local friends. Seeing the devastation in a couple of those spots really hit close to home for us. Watching as the Taj Hotel and Metro Cinema experienced such horror was difficult, to say the least. The Lord is good, He is IN India and knows and hears his people there. Already there are great things happening in response to even this, a terrible crisis. Keep praying for the people there, and the Church - as the followers of Jesus navigate the waters of great need and suffering, surmounting tension, and a culture already so uncomfortable with the idea of accepting the Gospel... though there is a growing hunger. Do not let yourself forget to partner with our brothers and sisters in the underground of many nations. Pray for them, WITH them. Whether in dark neighborhoods and areas of India, or in the whole of anti-Christian nations like China and Iran. They need our partnership in many ways. We are ONE body, ONE faith, ONE church - ONE sainthood, priesthood, and generation. There is much for which to be thankful.


Black Friday was a day to be a bummmm, as were the days of saturday, and monday... subsequently. BUT now its time to get in gear - Christmas is JUST around the corner!!
I'm working on new music (which excites me!) and some new ideas and projects for the upcoming 2009!! can't wait to share more with you guys about all that is on its way... but to tel you the truth, I haven't even been let in on what all that is going to look like - I'll keep you posted!

much love - thanks for reading.
<3
mh

Hey all those peepz out in Abilene or anywhere near it!!
Im comin' to ya next Friday night to add to the worship team for REVAMP at Hardin Simmons! This is going to be a GREAT event so if you're anywhere near Abilene, you should try to make it out to this!


REVAMP is a movement initiated by HSU students who are determined to set ablaze the heart and soul of their campus, Abilene community and the world at large with the united, impassioned pursuit of Christ Jesus, Savior of the World. Our far-sighted vision is to break down the barriers of complacency, halfhearted commitment, doubt and unholy fear to achieve a revolution and manifestation of perfect unity (John 17:22-26) and unconditional conviction. Our near-sighted mission is to provide a worship festival and challenging message over five days (October 22-26) to ignite the contagious passion that can give way to purposeful living under Christ.

sounds good to me! hope you can come out to join your HS neighbors in this community event!
mh

Hey everyone!
this year has been the craziest year of my adult life... but first things first:
The conference in India was amazing! So many women were able to come and receive so much love and support and teaching at these events and if YOU gave to this cause you will be remembered in Heaven for the part you played to spread the power of the Kingdom in the here-and-now!! Thank you for responding to my last post and praying/providing for this cause.

This year has been peppered with both great joy, and great sorrow. In late June, two of my dear friends were in a tragic car accident. One survived with minor physical injuries, the other passed from this world into the next as a result of hers. God is good and has been pouring out His mercy to our group of friends as we work through grief and remembrance together. I am continually praying for my surviving friend from that wreck as his emotional wounds are still being mended and tended to.

On my way home from India, I stopped for a while in NYC. That city has such a special place in my heart! I had all kinds of plans for what I would do while there... but none of those plans included lodging. That's right, I had the smallest budget you can imagine and I knew NO ONE in the city who could host me! But i stayed anyway. The Lord provided me with an Indian family in Jersey ~ good acquaintances of my Indian friends in Mumbai. They gave me a room, transportation to the train station several times, and home cooked meals every day. PRAISE GOD! :)
I met some very sweet sweet people while I was there and really feel that God divinely crossed our paths. I had a good time there and hope to go back to continue some of the relational-construction that was started there in August.

Being home this season has been busy. I've been leading worship in so many places that I wouldn't have ever expected. AND God has been moving like I've never experienced in my area! I'm part of the worship team at my local home church, Cross Timbers, where the Holy Spirit is doing a new thing and we're SO excited! People are getting baptized by the hundreds and stories are flooding the church! The Spirit is healing hearts and minds and calling souls left right and center. I'm hearing accounts of similar events in Austin and prayers down in Temple to see the same things.

And on that note, I've been corresponding with, and hope to be traveling to, a Church of Christ in central Texas. In the next few months, its possible that i'll be leading the first church-wide instrumental worship service there, to support them as they hope to prepare for a coming move of God that will change their way of thinking and doing things. He is already speaking to many members of their leadership about what He has in store for them - they are hungry for more and I am SO excited to be a small part of what He is doing there!

Folks, I dont know what next year holds, or even the rest of THIS year for that matter, but I do know that God has so many opportunities for us if we just make ourselves available and say "Yes!" I'm trying to remember each day to do and think in some of the ways that my dear friend, the late Lindsay Callahan, once did. She was vibrant and passionate and CRAZY in ways I only hope to be! Sometimes we need a jolt of reality to remember what Jesus was all about, and most every moment with her was like that for me... even if I never admitted it until she was gone. I thank God for putting her, and others like her, into my life to live out what Jesus lived out so that I don't grow weary and faint of heart. the Holy Spirit is my helper and He opens my heart's eyes and ears to know truth and light in what would otherwise be mistaken for complete and utter darkness.

until next time ~ blessings and be at peace,
mh

http://blogs.crosstimberschurch.org/toby/

Hey,
Some of y'all know that I'm on my way to India (my 4th trip). My Mom is going this time as well! To get to the point, we will among other things, be a part of a ministry team for a Ladies Conference. Our subject is FREEDOM.

The Enemy has, as usual, been throwing up roadblocks. He surely doesn't want to see the shackles coming off, so he's working hard to discourage us. We have already paid for our trip--but the conference is UNDER-FUNDED AND WE NED YOUR HELP!!

We just got this email from India about a MAJOR roadblock, so I'm passing along this urgent request for prayer AND financial help. We need your prayers TODAY, please. Ask our Father to open the floodgates of heaven so that enough gifts will flow into the Texas office this next week so that these ladies and children will be served as it is willed in heaven.

Please know that we are aware that this is short notice. And we know that gas and electricity is higher than ever, but we are confident that God will help us all find a way to bless His will for these women and children. THIS IS SUCH AN IMPORTANT AND IMPACTING MINISTRY!

Also make note of Leslie's video link--and please pass it along to everyone in your "social network" and email address list. We will be so thankful for your help, your prayers and your dollars--big bucks or small, we will be thankful for all! LOL--Wasn't really going for a rhyme there, seriously!

God bless all and let us know if you have any questions about this ministry or other specific needs, my mom and I will be glad to answer.

email from India earlier today:

"Hi Friends,
Dwayne and I (and 2 of our kids) arrived in India on Sunday. We have had a very full week. I am writing all of you because we need prayer. I checked with the US office and I still haven't made budget for the ladies meetings...and the meetings are getting close.

I really felt like these were the meetings and the gifts God was leading but remaining in faith for the finances gets harder and harder as the date draws near. Please pray for the finances to come in and for the planning team here - so many working so hard. Pray also for the team coming to India. Please pray for faith and ability.



Thank you for standing with me. There is an excitement and expectation for what God is going to do in ladies' lives through this time."

thanks friends,
any bit can help!

you can give at Sowerofseeds.org

So I went to see Eddie Izzard live in Dallas the other night. Among the many hysterical things he said and did that night, he joked about the perceived absurdity of the last of the 10 commandments, "... do not covet your neighbor’s ... ox..."

But i’ve noticed that lately, i’ve been doing just that! perhaps not an actual OX, but in other ways. I hear "buz" about certain bands and artists in my metro area who are growing their fan base and getting some great momentum in their music careers... and i am really happy for them and receive a lot of hope from it. however, i also find myself getting anxious about my own future and wonder "what’s going on there that isn’t going on here.. that i can actually do something about?!" please PLEASE don’t hear me wrong on this one... i’m not down on myself or my music, im not looking for "encouragement..." rather, im making a point.

i was drawn to re-read that commandment and think about this concept of coveting. Here is the entire 10th commandment:

10: You shall not covet your neighbour’s house; you shall not covet your neighbour’s wife, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.

This commandment is about career status! this isn’t about an ox, or marital relationship, or even shelter. this is about the symbolic nature that our STUFF has as it relates to success, or perceived success.

i look at someone’s tour schedule and hear about how many hits they get on their myspace or how many ppl come to the shows and think "oh goodness... im gonna be broke FOREVER! i wish i could be in their place." but the truth is, im not in their place, and there IS a reason for it... i just don’t know what it is yet. when you have NO money or experience... things take a while. The Lord is being gentle with me and growing me in so many ways. I pray that i would be reminded and convicted like this every time that i get in the position "coveting" -- which is probably more often than i care to admit to myself.

I’m not going to presume to know what God is thinking or doing all the time, or all the reasons why He warns us against certain behaviors... BUT i do know that being envious and thinking solely about how we can get somewhere in the future, makes it hard to learn and understand what God is doing in our lives in the here and now.. and what our current situation is all about. I don’t want to miss anything!

and it is true... coveting is absurd. i think Eddie missed the point with the whole commandments thing... but despite his questionable lifestyle and "colorful" language, he’s still one of the funniest people i’ve ever heard!... i can’t hold a standard over him that he himself doesn’t care to hold. he needs Jesus... but anyway...

have a great day, don’t covet! lol
mh