10:30pm Walking up to the Ivy Room finishing my 22oz of Becks. I had the notion it was all mainly hype. It was pretty dead outside and I needed information on my new book titled How and what the hip hop community thinks about true justice? The doorman checked my ID and let me in so smooth I had to ask him the golden question first. Checking out the inside of the Ivy Room, I listened to a song I havent heard in a while. I got it made. by Special Ed. I came back outside and asked the doorman, Whats your name bro? He calmly replied, Keith. I responded, What does the term true justice mean to you?  He looked at me strange at first but when he saw the look in my eyes, he started laughing and said, This is my first night here and if you dont get out my face with shit and have a drink it will be your last. I didnt understand at first but he was right. I need to work on my approach; this is the real hip-hop community.

 10:45pm DJ D in the mix every Thursday at the Ivy Room. Some voice yelled over the sound system. Ill never forget the song he played cause on record I heard, You a costumer. over a deep orange beat that made the wooden bar look red. I took in some crew out the corner of my eye hanging out wearing got pats? t-shirts. I had to know what that meant but instead I stuck to the master plan and said, Nice shirt, Im writing a book on hip hop and I wanted to ask you what the term true justice meant to you? This guy drinking a classic brown liquor shot had a lot to say I must declare. From what I remember he broke down the fundamentals and the effects of corporate prisons being built, then spoke on the targeted communities to fill them. He also reminded me that his childhood district is one of the many-targeted sections and the tension from corporate America has trickled down to the police patrolling for arrest in his neighborhood. Basically breaking down that true justice doesnt exist at least not to his livelihood.  Ironically enough Express Yourself. by NWA was being played.

11:00pm Writing down notes at the bar this surprising woman drinking a radiant color Madori Sour walks up and ask me, What you writing? thinking she wouldnt be interested I observed she was wearing a small t-shirt that said, I Love Hip Hop! so I had to say, Im writing a book about true justice. What does that term mean to you? She seem pretty interested in the question and it didnt take her long to answer. She replied effortlessly, True justice to me is when the word justice can stand behind the truth. With the truth, ones gender should never effect the outcome of justice. With true justice, my gender will be seen for what we posses in this natural world. Kind of lost in her movements while answering my question avoided the drool leaving my bottom lip listening to Uptown Anthem. by Naughty by Nature I asked, And what does your gender posses? She cried out, Balance; the balance that needs to stop being taking for granted in this un-natural world. Thru the term true justice both genders will stand accountable for their actions as a person and not a gender or race for that fact. Now Im on a true believer of intellectual stimulation and I have to say, I got wood!

11:15pm Looking at the stage I noticed a live band set up. I was on a roll as far as information so I ordered a drink and when I saw the bartender I just asked her, What true justice meant to her?  She asked me real fast, Who is you?  I easily told her and she said, Man, get outta here with that shit! You see where you at? Drink ya drink and holla when youre ready for another one.  I thought, Wow. Then hyphy Hatch gets on stage and lets us know that the performances are going to start. Not realizing that my feelings are hurt and the effects of the liquor is getting me all fuzzy thinking, Is it me?

11:20pm The guy that expressed his concern about corporate prisons got on stage and started rapping with his crew.  Thinking, This guy is pretty good. I detected from the crowd that he was a well-known musician by the way they was into his show. This brother came with dark, hard beats with flows to match. Thats when I met a brother named Mic T walking up behind me at the bar and said, Heineken please. And one for True Justice. I didnt have to ask this cat the question about true justice. I knew he knew so I left him alone.

11:30pm Watching the performance on stage, I was waiting for them to say something similar to what they told me before but they had a party to take of at the Ivy Room on a Thursday night. I did hear his shout out to True Justice. Pho Balo is his name and his crew is down with me I think?

11:45pm I cant get no ones attention while Pho Balo is performing so I might as well enjoy the show with everyone else. I like the way this collaborator had the Ivy Room at a stand still. When Pho Balo went into, Lets get nasty. The look on his face told me he knew what was about to happen soon. I support that!  Finishing my shot of dim liquor his show ended I was ready to get my after party on at Pats in downtown Oakland. Dont act like you dont know. Got pats?

Midnight Hanging outside the Ivy Room I was talking to the people smoking cigarettes. I met a god named natural so I kept asking him the question of the night. At first, he held in reserve saying, Check the god LCJ on stage. Not listening to the question but once he realized what I asking, he lit up something and said, True justice to me is when the wicked 10% stop controlling the blind 85% and recognize the 5% as god and all true knowing.  Left speechless I decided not to comment, thats when I met Poach Stevens.

12:10am Ordering a beer with a shot chaser speaking to Poach for a couple minutes I knew I could ask my magic question; so I did. Poach looked at me silent for five seconds and said, Gas prices are not true justice! Matter a fact true justice is the exact opposite. Then started yelling, I remember people would fight at the .99 pump with an empty a$$ gas station across the street asking for 1.05 a gallon! $3.00 plus a gallon now? Concluding my shot of good ole Jackie D, I didnt know what to do but agree with him. Hanging out by the wooden bar, I had the perfect view to see that he was performing next.

12:20am After meeting Poach Stevens and seeing his show I started thinking, Showtime @11 is a cool scene. There was a dude with a deep blue suit on the drums, a scruffy cat on bass, a focused one behind the motherboard and Im missing people Im sure. Fancying for more info, I asked some people hanging out next to me the supernatural question of the night. This couple I met told me it was their first time at the Ivy Room then continued with, True justice to them sounds un real cause we can say what it means, but will it ever happen? Now I cant skew some ones opinion, so I have to be quiet. She then added her views on the laws of justice in her infant neighborhood comparing them to the laws of justice in my wealthy upbringing. She assumed I was rolling in it and was right. Truthfully, the way she put it I never really thought about it like that. I ended up buying her drink and meeting her friends she came with. While the live band played their tunes for the nice sized Ivy Room crowd.

12:30am Now I know more than five people here and everyone I talked to is greeting me on site with something in common. They were all feeling the live music Poach Stevens is displaying with his talented team! Feeling pretty good, I spark up a conversation about the drummers solo with a guy named Dr. Blap. He told me that the drummer of Poach Steven is a celebrity.  Thats when I asked him the grand question, he said, True Justice is my cousin. Having no idea what he meant I had to accept his answer and move on.

12:45am Checking out the spot saying hey baby to the ladies in my mind. Hearing Rhodes keyboard sounds glowing thru the club speakers with a females live voice singing to me. I started saying, This is why I still have a red light to this day! I met a cat named Niyahbinghi. I just flat asked, What does the term true justice mean to you?  He got excited and asked if I had something to record his reaction to the question. I didnt, but still wanted to know what he thought. With Poach Steven holding down the Ivy Room in the back round of my view. Niyahbinghi said, True justice to me is when the wicked actions of the past is healed and embraces the powers of all people instead of ones wealth. Appreciating ones hand in building something bigger than each others wealth. True justice to me means whats good for the geese is good for the gather and thats never been the case. With 1% of the wealth controlling 99% of the population. But it will change soon! Thinking to myself, Was that a threat?  But the look in his eyes said it was a promise. Thats when Poach Stevens gave a shout out to True Justice.

1:00am There is a whole new group on stage and the music never stopped playing. How does this happen? Looking in from the outside of the Ivy Room thinking, This white boy on stage is crazy. never mind the black skull that fell out of his  pocket when he fell down tangled in the mic wire, never mind his point of view of being into his own groove and actually spun on the floor. I overheard a guy say to one of the dudes that was on the stage earlier, The flyer for tonight says breakdancing on the front of it! so there you have it. Not quite like you image huh?  But, after the lead singer of Rondo Bros achieved his show and gave a shout out to True Justice, so did everyone else. And seeing that was enough from me to ask anybody anything.  Having no idea what kind of music I was hearing. I knew that it sound good and a sister with long, black dreads looked over and pointed at me to her friends. Ready for another drink always, I walked over towards her with my chest out and when I got close by, I put my chest back in. Playing the background silent, I just hung around them all quiet waiting to order my drink. The dreaded sister came over to me and blurted, True justice is self justice. True justice to me is when my neighbor wont get killed for trying to remove the drug crack from being sold outside their couch room window. Think about it? What if only half the people that get accused got heard within the justice system? What about term high profile justice? What about people documenting us, our thoughts, and ideas and never getting financial compensation for it. If anything, our trends and ways are looked at negative first but overtime its ok to act out when its cool to be {cool} Trying to keep it cool for the dreaded soul I said, I agree, so tell me what is true justice from a females perspective? Thats when I black out!

1:20am Coming to at the party and I mean absolutely everyone that spoke to me earlier in the evening was dancing with other. Taking it all in thinking, The hip hop community really knows what theyre talking about. Iwould have never guessed how much un justice there was to write about. Thats when the clear voice of the night chanted, True Justice is in the building tonight! I couldnt believe it. I can still start trends in a hip-hop club? Being the life of club having them say,True Justice is in the building. I started plotting in my head, Wait till what I do next Thursday.

9:00pm After hearing all this chitchat about this Ivy Room jumping off every Thursday. I was determined to go see for myself. I must have been early cause I walked into the middle of sound check and set up with is cool with me. Slumplordz and Boogie Shack were both present telling jokes about myspace junkies on the mic. I was amazed to see Steve, the cat that formerly owned the Oakland Black Box and a writer of the east bay express there sharing a pitcher of beer. I overheard Steve talking about this spot called 2232 MLK that he is now a part of and does hip hop events also. Thinking to myself, The East Bay is starting to blow up!  

9:30pm Hanging out, working on my pick up lines and names I plan to use for the night. I see Nikkeo and LCJ walk in with sub sandwiches in their hand. Not I bad idea. I said to myself. But I didnt heed their actions and still ordered my second drink on a empty stomach. Im tuff! Plus the night is still young. 

10:00pm DJ D started off his set with a old school classic by Mac Dre. When some ladies started showing up I opened my first breath mint. Walking over to them I was stopped by Jabba Jawz standing next to the Blurred Entities crew. Staying focused on my lines and names I plan to use on the ladies, we just chopped it up about what all guys love. Naked chics, beer, and Buffalo wings. You ladies didnt know? But once that was over it was time to work my magic on the females.

10:10pm Waiting for the right moment, I made my move. Took another mint in the ole gabber of gifts and stood next to one of the ladies at the bar to order a drink. When the lovely looking bartender came over I asked the lady next to me, Can I offer you a drink to toast to your beauty? By the way my mane is Armando. That Latin for great chef. She agreed and the discussion started. See; rule # 472 offer something with a compliment around a subject well liked. We talked about world music, famous people, high fashion, and past relationships. And after our drink I got her number. Its gonna be a lucky night. I thought.

10:30pm People are really starting to show up and the Ivy Room is holding it down in Albany lightweight. By this time, I made sure my choices were done wisely because I dont know what girl is with whom? I came up with a plan to talk about culture and traveling. This way I would seem like an international passport holder. Rule # 1245 always think bigger than you really are, in all cases. So with that mind I approach these two sisters sitting at the bar. I introduce myself as Romeo. They both laughed with a look on their face like, Are you serious? Without giving in to their look, I continued the dialog and asked with my best French accent, If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? waiting for an answer I decided to break the ice and say, Well for me, anywhere is better than living with my fifth baby momma and her new thugged out boyfriend. They just laughed and asked me politely to kick rocks.

11:00pm With the place half packed, the host LCJ gets on the mic and says, I will show up to the revolution without a fist so Ill host without a voice! No dice. With LCJs voice gone, it was up to Hatch, the new host to take over. He looked pretty drunk to me but Hatch held it down. Thats when LCJ come to a decision to get drunk and dance all night with himself and whoever wanted to join. With the Boogie Shack ready to start their performance at 11 sharp it was time to start the show and I aint mad at them. Like the saying, there is a dude named Adam and hes always mad; and I aint mad Adam. Boogie Shack hits the stage and performs the song I heard on KPFA last Sunday on Maya Rises show. I thinks its called, Whats hip hop to you? these cats side by side kept the Ivy Room under control. Getting the party people to come from the other side of the bar to the music area. Thats one of the hardest things to do at the Ivy Room I heard. But these cats handled the task hip-hop style carefree.

11:10pm I noticed that the Boogie Shack had experience on ripping crowds. Just by the way they did it so relax with energy. They said it comes with twelve years of doing shows and counting. The ladies obviously enjoyed the presences of two male rappers with intelligent lyrics. So I thought, Go smart on the ladies? humm, never heard a rule about that one before.  In the middle of their performance, The Boogie Shack covered all bases of rocking a crowd. Making the people say, ho, hell yeah, and scream as loud as you can! They also called out towns of the Bay Area to see who was actually in the house and the Bay Area shared their voice in favor of the action-pack Boogie Shack for sure. I started to remember that I saw the Boogie Shack before in Downtown Oakland and they had a female singer on stage with them, but I was disappointed not to see her at the Ivy Room. O well, maybe next time because they would be foolish not to invite these cats back.

11:30pm Boogie Shack finished their set in addition to the Ivy Room being physically packed. There was enough women in the house for a ladies man like me to get busy and grabs some more celly digits. I came up with a line on the spot for this beautiful longhaired Latina. I said, Whats your cell phone provider?  You know if you have same provider as mines, we can talk for free all day an day asucar. By the way my name is Roberto Banks. That name always works like a charm. To my surprised her eyes got real big, she worked for Nextel and started treating me like a brand new customer and tried to have my sign up for a two year plan where I would be paying her every month. I gave in for the chatter time just to get the number and moved on. Rule # 5674 if you dont get over make it look like you did to the general public.   

11:45pm True Justice in the mix with a nice amount of girls on the dance floor with plenty of girls on the other side of bar just chilling.  Looking at LCJ dance thru True Justices set, I couldnt tell if he was drinking many beers or just sipping on the same one all night? I was told if you know LCJ, then u know the answer to that stupid question. With a nice amount of ladies to converse with, I decided to follow LCJs lead and shake my ass with a nice looking voluptuous brown skin woman at the bar. I decided to work my sophisticated angle and said, May I dance with the lady that processes natural wealth and beauty? My name is Clifford the third from Clayton County in Concord. Now I wasnt ready to get down and dirty but she sure was plus, I never planned on dropping it like its hot at the Ivy Room ever. But I did it, and stayed down long enough because this chic kicked over my head and spun. Baby girl was impressive and gave me her attention after the dance and bought me a drink. Houston, we got a winner. Rule # 1786 if a woman has money and shares it with you the last thing u ever do is act like your interested in her money. After she gave me her cell number I decided not to crowd her. I just simply shook her hand gently and went outside to collect my thoughts.

11:55pm While outside I saw everyone greet D Streeters and Natural at the door. Then I focused on another young lady that was kinda cheerless Sad day in hip-hop. She said then added, Its boBs last night at the Ivy Room on Thursdays. I was confused looking at boB because he seemed pretty chill about it. But I couldnt get pass this young ladys necklace shaped like a star that matched the ones in her eyes. Trying to switch the subject to something better like me for example. I asked her if she would return to the Ivy Room on Thursday without boB at the front door.  But she replied, Probably not, boB is why I come here and I dont know anybody else. Rule #4267, never step on the next mans toes to your benefit yourself. So I said, Yeah, from what I understand boB is the coolest cat around these parts, is there anything you can say to make him stay? She just shook her head and walked back towards him. I thought, My man!

Midnight With the place getting pretty packed it was time for the next act. Oaklands own Slumpzlordz. It seem like the whole place was waiting for this act all night to do their songs off the album Sav City. I only know that because of all the posters that hung in the club. Well all the ones left after people took them down for autographs from the group to hang up in their rooms. During their concert one of the Slumplordz said, put your Os in the air. (O stands for Oakland) but this cat lifted both of his arms over his head and connected his fingertips making a big ass O. I thought, I never saw that before! So I said to the closest female next to me, Wheres your O at? She replied, Im from Sweden. Stuck in aww I brought up the question, Where would you live in the world if you had a choice? She quickly said, With the guys on stage. Lordz rule! Thinking was a shot down I remembered rule # 4267 I just said, Right on! and continued to support the group on stage with a ok look on my face. Because I aint mad Adam.  

12:10am Looking around at the crowd I noticed more than half the people there knew the songs word for word. Thinking, How do all these women know these songs? This is my first time ever hearing of these dudes. But after performing Smokedoubt. Dave Doses had me ready to blaze up and I dont even smoke. He kept shouting out their website after each song and letting the crowd know you can get Slumplordz ring tones thru something called blue tooth. Just then, I was sold that slumplordz knew exactly what they was doing. I just started taking notes.

12:20am I see slumplordz t-shirts all over the place so I bought a T-shirt to show my support. Ok Im lying, I bought a T-shirt cause I notice a lot of fine women wearing them also and I figured this was my way in. This O.G. cat named Sunndance pulled me aside and gave me rule # 3456; find a nitch and freak it. 

12:30am Wearing my slumplordz t-shirt flirting with every chic wearing one also. I get it and u know what, this is great! I met one female in a baby tee and listened to a track these guys performed with a rapper I happen to be a huge fan of, Azeem! This cat hits the stage and i couldnt believe my eyes. Where the hell has this dude been? It was blessing to see Azeem on stage. Thinking, Maybe these rumors about the Ivy Room are true. Thats when the girl next to me said, You know Deez Nutz did these tracks?  I was stunned.  

1:00am With LCJs voice gone, Poker Face of my new favorite group brought the Ivy Room into the party after their performance.  DJ D came right in with a dancehall tune and the girls knew exactly what to do. Grab the only guy dancing at the time. No names. Lets just say this nut was dancing all night.

1:10am With hatch shouting over the verses I started doing shots with another gorgeous young lady I met. She asked me about this weird looking couple sitting at bar. It was an older white guy with one gold tooth and a black chic looking like she was repping the town. Personally, I didnt see anything wrong with it. Because I aint mad Adam. But she couldnt stop talking about them, so after the second shot I stepped off. PEACE! After I got the number of coarse.

1:30am A nice amount of people still hanging out drinking. By this time I was on woman vision and tuned up my radar and I saw a group of five ladies waiting for their drinks. Rule # 6154 whenever u approach a group of ladies together you must make the conversation pertain to all of them then slip into a one on one, eye to eye very slight. So I said holding out a c-note, Excuse me ladies, did u happen to see my Benz keys on the bar with key chain that says, No worries, My treat? Thats when the host shouted, Last call! and one of ladies from before came over and asked me to buy her last drink of the night. I agreed and she said, Thanks Goldstein, I want 2 apple martinis, 1 long island, a pitcher of Heineken and shot of Patron. and bounced. Rule # 4 never look dazed. With the five ladies looking at me like, What you gonna do now hammer? I thought about what this female pimp told me at Pinole Bowl back in the day. And thats, a playa cannot be played ever. So I offered the lest attractive one out of the group that was getting no action all night a drink, and kept the name Goldstein because they overheard it. I just ordered the other young lady a pitcher of beer. And focused on this one girl out of pack and gave my best game making her my friend.

1:45am By this time I have her under my charm, making her laugh, giving hugs and good advice. And thats when it happened; all the liquor on an empty stomach started kicking in. On top of that, I was invited back to her house in the hills for more drinks with her girls. Rule # 56 always go for the lest attractive out of pack cause they usually have the cash and resources to hang with pretty girls that have nothing.      

2:00am Time to leave and Im invited to a house on a hill with five ladies.  Moving towards the door with a new friend under my arms I hear, Armando? from a voice I think I recognize. Turning around I see the girl from the bar. Now, all of the other girls are looking at me like, Armando? Back to rule #4. I walk over and invite her to the after party spot tonight. Back to rule # 5674. I was cut off by two sisters laughing saying, Romeo is busted! Turning back quickly and off balanced, I bump heads with the girl from the bar and fell into a warm body. Looking up I hear, Roberto, baby you ok? I didnt know what to do at this point. My boys also told me to run whenever youre in that situation and call them all back and explain, I had to take my mother somewhere. But I was too drunk and needed help. From the darkness I see the five girls getting into the SUV laughing at me. Hearing all her girls say, I told you, I just knew it! Now I have four women looking at me wondering why I have so many names. When out of no where storming out the Ivy Room was a super hero named boB to save the day and said, Armando Roberto Romeo Goldstein u forgot your platinum American express behind the bar! Rule #1 Respect the doorman!

9:00pm Bored with life I decided to go out and see what all this Bay Area Hyphy Movement was all about. I look in the San Francisco chronicle, observed a listing for free hip-hop party at the Ivy Room. I call my black friend to ask, What should I wear? but after he answered I thought, Its to late to get gold teeth, I dont have a chain, I dont know thizzing is, and who is Mac Dre? My friend just laughed and told me about this thing called a ghetto pass and proceeded to tell me to go check it out and if worst came to worst just say, What thizz it?

10:30pm When I arrived on a yellow bus, I was happy to have made it to my destination. The doorman, boB was speaking to a nice looking female in the front and said, Dude, do you have a clue what you just did? Saying, yes. But thinking, Of coarse not. Remembering what my friend told me and I just said, What thizz it? The doorman just put his head down in shame and let me inside. I overheard him say that there were a lot new people here tonight in the house. Checking the scene, I decided to sit at the bar. I was hearing music I never heard before in my life. I wanted to ask questions about this article I read in USA Today about this Bay Area Movement but all I knew was the saying my friend taught me. 

11:00pm I noticed a lot of people here know each other and it seem like a lot of people was using the Ivy Room as a meeting spot. Lucky me, I just happen to sit by a group of ladies having drinks. There had to be over seven of them, taking shots, and wiping dust off of each others shoulders. What is that all about? All I know is that the whole place knew every record the guy was playing from the booth and this was my first time ever hearing these songs. I notice a common theme by the bar and if I act like I know this guy called, True Justice maybe I can to talk to somebody. Have u seen True Justice? I asked one dude. He simply replied, Who the hell are you? not knowing what to say I just said, What thizz it? and brushed some imaginary dust off his shoulders. And sent him laughing into the moon night light outside holding his stomach! I just stood there with a look on my face for the ladies that said, Yeah, Im down with the brothers.

11:15pm Now more of people are showing up, and I realize what my friend was talking about. I wish he told me earlier about the sports gear trend. I could have worn my classic leprechaun green #33 Celtics jersey. Finally, from the back of the club I hear someone scream, What thizz it? and I ran over to dust off his shoulders but it didnt go over well. I basically got told about myself about touching people I didnt know. But hey, Im down for the brothers. Honestly! Soon a voice came thru the speakers saying, DJ True Justice is the building. I had to know this person, because everyone seems to be looking for this guy.

11:20pm The Ivy Room is beginning to get crowded pretty fast with all types of people. Now, I wasnt the only white guy in the place. Or was I? Asking the bartender, Could you show me who True Justice is? She replied, Are you a cop? I posed and said, What thizz it? and because of what happened last time I decided to brush off my own shoulders. I still had no idea why I was doing this. But it worked and I got to meet True Justice. After I introduced myself as Ferby Quakenbush, This guy introduces me to some people in the club from D Streeters, Tunes, the bartenders Lori and Summer, and a bunch of the ladies hanging out taking shots speaking Spanish. Oh yeah, he also demanded me to never say, What thizz it? ever again. I dont know why? I told him I was down!   

11:30pm Paying for my drink, with money stuffed in my tube socks. Stashed right below the third red stripe right beneath my calf muscle. I noticed some guy making a big deal about a sponsor in the Ivy Room. I believe he said, Syntax from KPFA fm Radio was here. This is my perfect chance to find out about this Hyphy Movement once and for all. I had to plan this right so I offered to buy him a drink. But, he declined with a strange look in his eyes and I thought, Oh no! That does seem a little funny with Broke Back Mountain out in all. Great, Im never going to get to show these people Im down now.   

11:45pm Starting to think if this was really a bad idea. The host gets on stage and starts telling jokes over some music playing. He told this one guy that his hair was so nappy; it looked like he has raisins glued to his head. I thought that was pretty funny. Then I came up with a clever idea that maybe I should try to talk to some of the women at the bar the guy introduced me to? But as soon as I built the courage to do just that, the host introduces LCJ to the stage. All the ladies at the bar left my site to go listen to the show. I guess I had a mad look on my face cause this guy behind me said, Dont hate, my advice, take notes. I just looked towards the stage and thought, What did I get myself into? 

11:50pm What LCJ did on stage proved Nerd Nate right? Takes notes. But Ill tell ya; the next guy coming up on stage scared the hell out of me. I couldnt pronounce his name to save my life. He just looked real radical. And not how my buddys use the word. This guy just had a seriously look about everything and I just wanted to know what the Hyphy Movement was? I didnt want any trouble. This guy Niyahbinghi hits the stage after Moses Music Miliyons Review told the whole club to stop wup dee wupin in his terms, and come to the stage area. I couldnt believe it. It was like they demanded respect and got it. I saw (my gawd, I get scared just thinking about it) Niyahbinghi on stage looking like he was having a good time. I jumped at the aid of this one guy having a stroke and going into convolutions dropping my drink. As soon as I touch him, without looking he grabs me and starts shaking me around. Not knowing what to do I screamed out, What thizz it? and the dark man screamed it back at me and started shaking me even harder! By, this time I was scared as hell.

11:55pm I ran outside and met this black guy named Ill Gates, amazed at his God Father (the classic movie) shirt he was wearing, so we had a conversation about the film. After our talk, I realized the shirt said The Bay Area. But I knew this guy was important. So I offered to buy him a drink and he declined. Come on guys, all I want to know is what this Hyphy Movement is? And nobody is sharing any info with me.

Midnight With seven guys on stage I noticed the one of the bartenders started having convolutions also. What the hell? I thought and put my drink down. This singer on stage, is still performing making people have strokes and he seems to be into it. Half way into his show, Niyahbinghi orders some ladies to get up on stage and dance with his gang. Now this I gotta see! by this time more than half of the people in the Ivy Room look like they was having seizures! By the end of their show I cant help but not to think, Why do they all want grapes? Concerned why my friend didnt tell me to bring grapes. I just got three bundles from farmers market this morning. 

12:20am Everyone finally calmed down and LCJ got back on stage and started doing sometime that sounded like a beat and started singing over it at the same time. Im at the bar still looking for some Hyphy Movement answers I decided to hit the front row during LCJs performance. Looking around I noticed all eyes and ears were on this chap. So, I couldnt break no ones attention. But I need answers! If I dont get answers tonight all of my black friends at work will laugh at me. But they already know Im down!  

12:35am Getting ready to leave thinking, I wish I could just buy a DVD on this movement or something. LCJ introduces DJ True Justice on his record player and the Ivy room turns into a little party for a tiny minute. This guy talking into it the mic gave me the perfect instructions to stay. Saying, Fellas, I dare you to ask a girl to dance with you tonight? Tell her DJ D and Nerd Nate sent you! So thats what I did. And low and behold she agreed. Now, not to toot my own horn, but back in my roller skating days the brothers called me the soul whitey with no rules and two left boogie shoes. They said it was cool name and I believe them. Needless to say the dance didnt last that long.  

1:05am Well, I made up my mind that Im not going get any Hyphy Movement questions answered. So, I just when to play pool with the young lady playing already and talk about my roller-skating days with the brothers. When out the corner of my eye I see a huge crowd of people enter the Ivy Room. Looking for a hiding place I just dove under the pool table. >From that view I noticed the club hanging around this guy named Beeda Weeda. Crawling out under the pool table this huge black guy with a shiny gold chain helped me up and dusted off my shoulder. But I remembered what I promised True Justice and kept my mouth shut. Thanks man, would you like a drink? I added. I dont drink. He replied then asked, Got Grapes? thinking to myself, Why didnt my friend tell me about this grapes thing. I had to say no with a disappointed look on my face and then he simply said, Its all good, but u wont get lucky tonight hiding under there. 

1:11am Looking at everybody dancing to Beeda Weedas performance I figure, The next person I see having convolutions, Im just going to give them someone to remember cause Im down! Well, as a result I went over to this dreaded individual and gave my best interruption of someone having a heart attack. By the grace of some outside force, I decide to spin during my recital and slipped, busting my ass. Lying on the ground with a messed up back I started twitching and people started clapping and screaming thinking it was a part of my routine.

1:20am Missing a tooth thinking, You know, a gold tooth wouldnt look that bad. Someone just happen to have a spare gold tooth for me. He also called me stupid, dumb, retarded, and of coarse my favorite crazy white boy. Overall this guy was excited about me missing a tooth and busting my ass, and at this point so did I. So I took the tooth, stuck it in my gums and got back in the crowd to hear a song I didnt really understand. Beeda Weeda saying, We aint listening! thru out the whole song. While the entire time everyone is listening, including me. Help me out here and Ill help out the brothers because Im down!

1:30am After Beeda Weedas performance the host let us know there is a party about to happen and Im ready to throw down ya, ya, da, mean! Not thinking about the next day, I got a shot of patron cause that what Ill Gates told me to do.  I just started watching the ladies enjoy the songs playing on the dance floor. I want to dance, but I cant get over what happened the last time I tried. So I hear the host yell, Happy Birthday E Breezy & Joe! And my gold tooth tells me to celebrate their birthday and go dance with someone. (Yeah, Im drunk now.)

1:45am Im dancing with two hot girls that keep saying Put that on something, I put that on mommas.  Trying not to loose focus on the rhythm, I stay focus on the words of song. Because thats how I groove, deal with it. Now Im a philosopher and I hear this song for the first time called, Life is Too Short. Well, come to find out the guy singing is from Oakland and Im down. So I focus on dancing with this one girl and act like I know the words to the songs playing. I figure if they see me lip-syncing they would explain this Hyphy thing to me, because I dont see it.

1:58am We are dancing screaming out, Dont Give me no Bamma Weed, Gangsta Gangsta, Doors open man, These are the Tales, and the one I knew now, I got grapes! Everyone sang along with the record saying they had grapes, but I dont remember any of these faces at the farmer market this morning. Seeing that my new dancer friend likes grapes so much I decide to invite her back to my house from some fruit. Once she declined she gave me her phone number and ask if I could call her tonight to make sure she gets home ok.

3:30am Staring at my cell phone thinking how Im a going to explain this gold tooth to my boss in the morning. Believing this Hyphy Movement is just a myth. I call my new friend I meet at the Ivy Room. After we talked for about hour I thought, She sure does talk about grapes a lot for some reason? But to make a long story short, Ferby Quakenbush and Ahreba Dookey will be on a date next Thursday at Showtime @ 11.

April 21, 2006

6:00am Well its early, Im still drunk and Im at work and I shouldnt be typing this letter.

April 20, 2006

11:00pm When I arrived at the Ivy Room, it took me five minutes to get to into the venue. Saying whats happening to everybody outside celebrating 420 whatever that means. Dressed up like the true B-boy I am; I walked inside and heard one of my all time favorite classic old school hip-hop records. The kind of vinyl plate you got for a Christmas gift as a kid. So I asked the bartender, Who was on the turn tables? She looked over to the DJ booth and said I never seen that dude before in my life. Right on. I thought. After the third classic the DJ spun, I heard the host say, Dj Kool C of the almighty Zulu Nation on the one and twos. Zulu Nation is in the building at the Ivy Room? Collecting my thoughts because I cant look phased in public being the true b-boy I am. I was listening to classic De La, KRS, Pete rock and CL, and Special Ed. It was a hip-hop family affair with folks from the old school to the new. I saw Dub Esq., Tunes, Natural, Moshea, Niayahbinghi, Will, Nerd Nate, Archives, Hatch, The whole Forensic Science crew, Enzyme Dynamite, Triple J, Slumplordz, Contimants, and The Awake Clique. Thinking, These cats dont wanta see me! The scene was packed with dudes selling their products, passing out flyers, networking, and hooking up shows with each other. With the green laughter of the ladies in the background, all I kept hearing about is this 420. What is that?

 11:30pm I guess the show is about to start with this individual on stage with no music playing, talking to the crowd. So I asked the other bartender, Who was this cat? She looked over to the stage and said I never seen that dude before in my life. Right on. I thought. Then she added ,He must be the new host for Showtime @ 11.  Looking back at the stage I see this personality on stage holding the almost empty beer, fumbling with the micaphone cord telling jokes. My first thought was, This man aint from around here. It was just obvious to me because my b-boy senses are tingling. Then he said where he was from and it all made sense. Wondering who is gonna be hitting the stage first, behind me i noticed these two cats creeping up toward the stage. Im thinking theyre celebrities just chilling that night cause of all the pictures people was taken of them. Enzyme Dynamite and Tripple J got on stage and killed it! Their show opener is what got me and thats hard to do because I am hip-hop and aint no one else. The vibe of the two rappers just was a perfect match. Enzyme Dynamite kept the crowds attention the whole time. You got tired just watching him. Plus, this rapper just looks like hes having a great time on the Ivy Room stage. His counterpart Tripple J thinks hes got major skillz. He was rapping over a rapid beat, keeping up with the rhythms for a very long time with prompt rhymes with hella clarity. Tripple J dont wanta see me! After twenty minutes of non-stop adrenalin on stage, these cats are stating to mess with me. Im just chilling trying to get my tuff b-boy stance on, these cats made me put my hands in the air. And if you didnt know only the true hip hoppers NEVER PUT THEIR HANDS UP FOR NOBODY! Because we are just to cool.  But these cats had too much energy for me and the crowd.

12:00am The new host I guess is back on the stage. Hatch, he said his name is. This time he has a shot glass of something thick and clear on tilt but wont drop a lick. In front of me I thought I saw Phesto of Souls of Mischief and Paul Wall having a friendly convo. Lost in awe, he introduces this dude LCJ Ive been hearing about on the street. My first thought was, I thought that was... Then I got into my tuff b-boy listening pose to see if this cat is real hip hop. Cause that what we do. It wasnt that long into his show before I realized this musician was talking directly to me.  Looking around to see if he was talking to anybody else, everyone had a look like they were thinking to same thing. Out of no where this one dude in the crowd just broke out and started busting b-boys moves in the middle of the floor. While LCJ rapped about break dancing, spray painting graffiti, and djing. For a minute I forgot about beat boxing and that bad cause I am hip hop. LCJ started beat boxing and had something for the ladies. That was when these young ladies with words written on their booties got up from the bar and ran to the front row to dance like contest winners to his tune. I had enough; I needed to have a smoke b-boy style.    

12:20am Now I'm outside thinking, I am hip hop. I couldnt get away from what these creatures call a hip hop show with the performance door wide open to give me a perfect view of the end of this guys show. Making to people say Stop the violence! LCJ dont wanta see me!

12:25am The host screams, Hip hop is in the building! Im scared to ask the bartender any more questions at this point. So I just get into position. Its a b-boy thing. Trying to remember the website written on the banner on stage without anyone noticing because thats not cool. www.forensicscience.net  it said, Not a second less all these cats hit the stage and Im stuck in the front row. Thinking, Damn, this is unacceptable to the true b-boy culture and I cant look hard in the front row! Trying to get out of my situation, I was kept captive by their appearance on stage. With all these questions, How many mother fuckers are yall? Is that a real  afro? How tall is that man on stage? Why is that cat crossing back and forth across the stage like that? Theres only three mics? Zulu Nation? Is Hip Hop really in the building? Realizing my mouth is open and Im feeling 8 years old all over again. I had to cool it down like New Edition ha! Stiffening up and looking around to see who saw me caught out there, I noticed nobody was paying me any attention. So I made a true b-boy decision and didnt leave the front row for the entire show. And thats all Im saying.!  P.S. Forensic Science dont wanta see me!   

1:00am Time to un zip the my Members Only jacket and reveal the Full Force mesh, black wife beater. With the end of their show I thought to myself, I just saw three hot acts for free? I made up my mind and decided to give props. Dont get it twisted. I aint no punk. Just a head nod is all these cats are getting cause I am hip hop aint no one else. But it seem like the whole club followed forensic science out the door for some fresh air screaming 420. I think Im starting to get it.

 1:30am The host introduces True Justice & DJ D on the tables and the party begins. Now I use to be a dancer in my day, but these cats dont want none of this. Getting slightly brushed by different women dancing close to my b-boy pose, I couldnt help but to give the ladies what they was telepathically begging for. Thinking, If  they would please play Lisa Lisa and the Cult Jam I could do my routine I won the Maurice Star talent show with. Instead I danced all night to Eric B and Rakim, A Tribe Called Quest, Spice 1s first single, Black Moon, Mistah Fab, and  Just Ices Latoya.  The night ended with the lights coming on and the whole Ivy Room crowd looking at True Justice & Dj D frozed in a classic b-boy pose. Thinking, They dont wanta see me next Thursday!

10:00pm All is well at the Ivy Room with a cool amount of people hanging out at the bar and artist performance area with drink in hand.  Thinking, could it be because of the write up in East Bay Express? The Ad in the Guardian? Or the listing in the San Francisco Chronicle insert 96 hours? Whatever it

was, it worked because Spicy Promotions was in the house. And those girls do one thing and one thing only. KEEP IT SPICEY!

 10:30pm  People are coming in packs of three or more, I have not the slightest clue where these people are coming from. It seemed like everyone LCJ asked to sign the mailing list was there for the performers Block Bizz. Who the hell do these guys think they are? The bosses of the bay? Because Block Bizz is stealing all the action tonight so far!

10:45pm Ivy Room is getting pretty pack. LCJ has a stupid grin on his face poping photos of all the pretty women in the party. With three performers on the bill, tonight needs to start exactly at 11:00. Luck turned and a Block Bizz member is lost on the road, the crowd is getting antsy. We need to start the show!! DJ True Justice says. At this point point the stage turns to LCJ who could either do a semi-full show or just rock the crowd with a freestyle. Needless to say, the DJ is playing all the classics hip-hop tunes

so the people just danced while the DJ shouted DJ Bella in the house! was she?

11:00pm LCJ to the stage please! The DJ shouted out the speaker. Here we go. Showtime @ 11 begins. This time the area is packed with hip-hop artists, fine ladies, and local celebrities. How the hell did this happen?

11:15pm Block Bizz is the first act to hit the stage and they decided to bring the entire population of the City of Modesto with them! Shout out big john! LP hits the stage and its obvious he has the City of Mo Town on lock! They had the place in an up roar, complete with front row hands in the air from the beginning of their show to the end. I was feeling like a homeless person with no hands, looking at a piece of cardboard and a black marker,

because I wanted to sing along word for word like everyone else but couldnt. Next time Block Bizz performs Ill be ready. I bought a CD from them that night and I already know three songs. Well at least the chorus.

11:45pm LP is still on stage rocking the town to no avail. He has the kind of show that doesnt give up. Thinking back, I dont remember any pauses in his show. I have to admit so far, LP has officially stolen the record for rocking the thickest crowd at Showtime @ 11. The Ivy Room couldnt get enough. I promise we will be seeing the whole Block Bizz again. Shout out

the Mayor of Modesto for coming thru and break dancing outside all night. I think he lost a bet with the Block Bizz crew.

Midnight Now its LCJs turn to bring on the next act.  He's got a look on his face sayin, Great, thanks guys for burning down the building and leaving them wanting more, looking at me on stage! Looking around at the all the female presence there was only one thing to do. Precious Queens make some noise!!!! with DJ True Justice cutting in the beat and basically making the games begin. The purple sound of women filled the air and the Queens let their presence be known. LCJ went into his Song Precious Queens

Where you at?  Just to warm them up for the next act! All Creative.

12:10pm All Creative to the stage! Now this dude has a gold fan base in the building. What I love about this cat is all his fans had something in common. They all went to the female school of beauty. Im really running out of space for new heroes in my life. Fo sho, All Creative is one of them. His show is mixed with old school hip-hop beats, hot tracks for the happy ladies to dance to, and something for the fellas to get juiced to. I appreciated

the way he talked to the crowd during his non-stop show. All Creative knows he is always welcome to perform at the Ivy Room!

12:45am  By this time all the fellas from the City of Modesto are at the bar leaving standing room only. While the ladies packed the standing room shaking to All Creatives performance. I can dig that. With the end of his show All Creative left the stage for LCJ to speak to his first gold now green fan base, full of life. Luck would have it that LCJ just had to introduce the next crew to the stage without performing; due to time. AWAKE CLIQUE!

12:50am I guess they say,  Save the best for last. Awake Clique rushes the stage 5 deep hip-hop style. Now with Awake Clique rocking the crowd and the party people signing the mailing list. After they performed their third song off the album. The shocker of the performance was when  Peace of Freestyle Fellowship hit the stage and blessed the mic for Showtime @ 11. Thats what the F*ck Im talking about! Theres only one thing to do now,

time to get drunk, as if I wasnt already. At this peak of the night DJ True Justice is double fisting pitchers of beers inspiring people to take tequila shots screaming, FUCK WORK TOMORROW. Hes such a troublemaker!

1:25am After Awake Clique was done doing what they do, it was that time to Party with DJ D in the mix. It seem like the whole Bay Area stood up when Mac Dre came out the sound system. Now, can everyone be in the building be feeling themselves? I guess so. Overall I was ready to dance into the night. Well, after my tequila shot that is. Thanks True Justice! Out the corner of

my eye I saw LCJ speaking to the main rapper cat from Slap Addix. It wasnt but two minutes later when this dude hit the stage. I thought all the performances was over!? Slap Addix hit the stage and people thought it was the next record and kept doing the damn thing! These cats kept the crowd going after a Mac Dre classic? Must be hyphy! Slap Additx stay on ya grind and keep that attitude. I see them going far!

1:30am Back to DJ D in the mix with the whole population of Modesto, The All Creatives now yellow Fan Club, Awake Cliques entourage, the Slap Addix, Dj True Justice aka The hyphy king, and LCJ shaking his booty on the dance floor. There was no room for the seated! We all partied until it was over, and that explains this hangover.

8:00pm: Left an interesting massage seminar I was invited too by two lovely females friends of mines.  Since the seminar stated that they would provide food; I saved my appetite. They failed to mention the menu consisted of Tootsie Rolls, and miniature square Snicker bars. Needless to say I was hungry, by the ninth tootsie roll I was bouncing off the walls. Thinking,  I gotta eat if I plan on drinking beers like a Raider fan with a budget. Once I got dropped off at an empty Ivy Room, one of the performing acts was working on their sound for the show (constant feed back included). I heard a rumor of a burrito spot close by so I proceeded to walk up the street in the direction of the rumor. Five minutes into my walk I decided to ask someone to clear up this burrito spot rumor. They replied with, Youre a 20min walk away from it. Great! I reflected. And continued forward inspired by the growls of my stomach.

8:45pm: Back at the Ivy Room with the common locals holding their hands to they ears to block out the screeching sound of feedback low and high. I asked, Where is the sound man? but by the look on the bartenders face I knew the answer. I was also told the feedback hasnt giving up since I left 30 minutes ago. Its wasnt long before the locals started packing up and cussing at me on their way out. And I thought, Hurry up and eat your burrito before someone get catches the truth about how I really feel.

9:00pm: With the lovely and much appreciated sound of feedback still resonating, attitudes flying high, an my burrito still wrapped up saying, Eat me please! and what I love the most over anything is party people showing up early asking me questions about whats going on? I couldnt tell them that the DJ has not arrived yet mainly because Ive been known to DJ myself. So I figured this was the perfect time to get drunk. May I have the biggest beer possible please?

9:30pm: By this time the feedback won the war and it was time to throw in the towel. Right before the towel hit the floor I decided to bring in the big boys. Dialing the number franticly as a last attempt to save the night, I called the man to fixed the sound. After talking to the man for only two minute and following his instructions the sound was fixed! WTF? But still no DJ in the house. Always something I guess. Feeling better about the sound now I finally had time to have a conversation with my burrito. What a great conversation it was.

10:00pm: People are pouring in, but still no DJ. I thought, Hey, maybe I should call him? But to my surprise cell phone bills and a DJs pay dont match up and leads to a relaxed voice saying, Better luck next time, oh by the way, when you see the person you was trying to call tell them I want my money! Hanging up the phone, looking at the turn tables unattended, I noticed there was a record one of the them so I decided to play it for some back round music at least until the DJ arrives. To my and everyones surprise, (thanks to the high volume settings) it was some old folk music. So think about this: A club with I love hip hop flyers all over the place, a couple of rap artist complete with rap suit, a handful of attractive women having a drink at the bar, live band gear set up on stage, red lights, and this folk music blasting out the speakers. Standing there shaking my head taking it all in when a super model coming from a photo shoot (she had to be!) walked in with a look on her face that was so classic I had to I run to the record to stop it. Thats when the DJ showed up to save the day.

10:30pm: More people are showing up, some from last week, some for the first time. Everything is smooth finally; the DJ is playing all the classic hip-hop tunes. The party people know what to do and start dancing. To encourage my three-dollar smile my favorite bartender walks in wearing a happy suit. And she wonders why I smile so much.

11:00pm: Now the artists performing are showing up, looking around, working the crowd, and setting up their merchandise and doing what artist do. I was staggered to see a certain female artist in the building. (Mainly cause Im a fan) I was even more energized when she told me she was performing tonight. The Ivy Room has no idea whats about to happen. I said to her. By this time there are no more bar seats available. Thats a good thing. Cause I need everyone to sign up on my mailing list  Holla!

11:30pm: More ladies arrived and I tell ya I have no idea where these women hear about my events, but they sure dress up for them. Being beautiful is one thing, and being a couple of groups of five is another. Before midnight it was 3 women  to 1 man in the Ivy Room.

Midnight:  Now its time to start Showtime @ 11 (go figure). Being the host, I had to start it off right. So out came the super dope beat box medley (Im so full of myself) and killed it! Knowing who is about to hit the stage after my small part I had to put fire under the crowds ass and get them ready for a once and lifetime experience. Ok, Im done, let bring on the first act. Now I love reggae music and even better I love and appreciate a female reggae artist that comes with dance routinesJ need I say more? Big up to impress freedom (Im your #1 fan)

12:30am:  Now we have a nice crowd balanced with super models and gentlemen surrounding the stage and bar area waiting for more. The next act is there to promote his new album. The look in his eyes said one thing, Im getting ready to tear this place down! When out of nowhere this older man accompanied by his wife I assume approaches the artist. I thought there was a problem since he was the only one of his kind in the building. Come to find out he was the artists high school teacher. What I relief! While I was thinking he skipped his probation or failed the piss test. Its happens. Needless to say, his high school teacher stayed and participated in a call and response of the T K.A.S.H.s club banger  F*ck the war complete with fist in the air. What a classic moments at the Ivy Room, I thought.

1:00am: With only an hour left in the night, the last act was ready to do what they do best. Complete with live drums, bongos, and 3 rappers. Moses Miliyons Music Review is and has always been a crowd pleaser. It was obvious that most of the people were there for them. By the third song you had to know this group / one man band knew exactly what they was doing, because there was no way you could listen to this group sitting down. 

1:30am: half way thru the show with a sea of people dancing to the tunes and four girls on stage dancing with the group THE POWER WENT OUT! And could not be turned back on. Sad day in hip-hop! But to no avail Moses Miliyons Music Review strapped with live drums, bongos, piano on stage ripped it way past last call reminding the people how it was done before in the past. My superheroes!