I'm breaking my silence! They can stop me from talking on stage but they can't stop me from posting! No, but seriously, in reality my jokes are way too offensive for the run of the mill stage banter, so it's easy to see why the boys don't let me near the microphone unless it's to sing.
Anyways, we had a great time at Great Scott last night. Much thanks go out to everyone that showed, thank you for coming early and staying late! Also: Virtual hi fives to the guys in Vessel, Forfeit, and Polar Bear Club; sick show indeed!
We have a couple things on the burner right now. In the short term Kenny Celli heads back to the motherland for Navidad (aka christmas), and will be back in the comparatively arctic region of Boston by the first week of the New Year. Back home we'll be doing a tad bit of writing and some designing for T- Shirts! Once KC returns we'll be working on our band-kegels in hopes of recording once again!
I don't know about you all, but I'm super excited for xmas! I'm waiting in hot anticipation for the lump of coal(by way of motherly guilt-trip and fatherly dissapointment) and certain allergic reaction/asthma attack I'll be getting by heading home for the holidays. Nothing says joy to me like being unable to breathe! In light of the holiday spirit I decided to write up a Holiday Guide just in case anyone gets in a merry fix and needs to a way to express all that 'cheer.'
Zan's Holiday Guide
1. If you're poor like me, then you can't really spend a lot of money on presents this year. A good way around spending money is stealing. Just because you can't afford what you want to get your loved ones doesn't mean you shouldn't find a way to get it!
2. If you have a problem with stocking stuffers look no further than your sock drawer. You know how many clothes your parents have gotten you for xmas over the years, why not give it back! Lack of forethought: it's the gift that keeps on giving!
3. Scratch that, emotional scarring is the gift that keeps on giving. In light of this epiphany, find some way to make this xmas especially memorable. One way, is accidentally locking your brother's cat in the trash barrels outside and then surprising him with it's dead carcass on xmas morn. Be careful- even with rigor mortis those claws can wreak havoc on your hands! Or try throwing up in the middle of the meal claiming you were poisoned by your mother!
4. Want to give more presents? You should shake every present really, really, extremely hard so that whatever it is inside that little box of misrepresented love is broken into little tiny elfpenis sized pieces. Quantity over quality!
5. We all know that the holidays are about reuniting with family members you don't get to see to often. If you have a weird uncle that you have little to no recollection of pre adulthood, now is the time of year to get closer to that special relative. We all know uncles love to drink, so slip a little extra strychnine in his egg nog. You know he'll appreciate it.
6. Don't forget to sing out of key on those lovely holiday carols. Also, for fun, slip in a random swear every now and again to really throw the performance.
7. Teach dirty words to your little cousins and have them recite them to their parents. Make sure they have at least 3 or 4 in their vocabulary before you send them on their merry way.
8. If you are too overcome with joy, and just can't take another santa song or shinypieceofshit then you can always leave early. The middle of the night xmas eve is always a good choice. No one is on the road, and your family will be wondering where you went. So whatever you do, don't leave a note. That's just cheap lipservice. Also, don't call, just make sure that you let everyone know how much you care by being safe, and not sorry that you spend the xmas with such lovely people.
9. Go to the movies, you'll meet a lot of people you never knew existed.
10. Eat ramen noodles alone in the dark with only a bathrobe on. Make sure you turn on some cartoon you remember from your youth and try not to cry too much.
Merry Xmas!
Zan/tNW